Submission Information:
Series: Kid Icarus
Game: Kid Icarus: Uprising
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: In the Space-Pirate Ship
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: legoenthusiast (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6408)
Special thanks to Kricketune54 for converting this from MS to Finale :)
rip my arrangement
Good work arranging this piece! It's not easy to to arrange something as orchestrated as this. That being said, there's a lot to go over too:
-m2 and 4: The L.H. dotted 8ths on beats 2 and 4 should have a staccato too. Also, in the R.H., maybe you could write this run as a 16th septuplet, so it's more like 'ah a quick run upwards' and less like 'ah a rhythmically exact run upwards'.
-m7: The staccato on the dotted 8th on beat 4 should be below the note instead of above.
-m9 and other places: Double accents like the ones on beat one aren't really necessary: either a normal accent or a marcato accent (if it's even louder) are fine. I'm wondering why you included them in the first place though, because none of these notes sound louder than the surrounding notes in the context.
-m9 and 26: I hear the bass going the Bb on beat 4, so maybe you can remove the bottom F.
-m10-11: I hear something like this in the L.H.:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/928729934342533160/unknown.png
Also, in m11, the stems of the 16th notes in the R.H. on beat 1.5 should be pointing downwards (same in m28)
-m13: I hear an Ab as the bass note on beat 2 (maybe change both F's to Ab's)
-m15: The pedal release sign isn't here, I'm guessing it should be on beat 3? Also, the staccato in the R.H. on beat 4 should also be below the note, and the quarter rest in the L.H. should be in its normal position in the middle of the staff.
-m16-23: I'm guessing this L.H. pattern is some arranger's freedom to get some momentum, but some of the bass notes of the original are missing, which really change what chords are sounding in your arrangement. I'd suggest something like this for m16-19:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930874989366870026/unknown.png
In m20-23 I'm not sure how much you want to deviate from what you have, but on the original I hear this bass pattern going on you could incorporate in some way:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930876278851112960/unknown.png
-m18: I hear a Dn instead of an Eb on beat 4 in the R.H.
-m22-23: From beat 3 in m22, I hear a second voice in the R.H. going C, Bb, Ab, F, Dn. I don't hear the second voice you have currently.
-m27-28: I hear something similar to m10-11 here too, maybe you can copy that part over and change it to the new rhythm.
-m31-34: The second layer in the L.H. is quite hard to play, especially for just the pinky. I'm guessing this was implying the snare drum rhythm, right? I'd suggest either changing some notes around so the player doesn't have to restrike notes this fast, or changing this to something else entirely. m32 and 33 look like they're just copy-pasted, but that dotted note figure at beat 4 is only there in m31. There's also a trombone part in m34 that would be nice to add in.
-m33: I hear an F instead of a G in the R.H. on beat 1.
-m35: There's a small slur starting on beat 1 that should be deleted. I also hear this voice in the L.H. starting from beat 3:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930880254615109692/unknown.png
-m36: we do like our grace notes slurred :p Also, the first note of the tuplet in the L.H. is quite soft in the original: maybe you could leave it out of the arrangement too?
-m37-40: I don't hear all that much variation in the L.H. part in the original, I believe it's all just an Edim chord:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930882375108399135/unknown.png
I don't hear clear bass notes on beats 1 and 4 either actually, I'm not too sure what they are supposed to be. The ones I used in the example above are a little change in the strings accompaniment that's not in the arrangement.
-m41: I hear this a little bit different:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930883471663067136/unknown.png
The natural sign on the last En in the top layer isn't necessary, but might be nice to include so the lines look more parallel
-m43-44: Another L.H. that sounds a bit different in the original:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930884160531353650/unknown.png
-m45: I hear Db in the L.H. on beat 3 too, like the R.H.
-m46-47: I don't hear any strong bass or percussion parts on beat 1 here that would be worth these octave C's. If you wanna include the bass drum, I'd write it like this (from m45 beat 4):
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930885917533691935/unknown.png
-m49: I hear an Fm chord on beat 4 (instead of C major)
-m50-53: I hear something else entirely:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/930889065287540766/unknown.png
I'll get to the last part at another time (there's a lot of repeated material there too anyway), but there's one last thing I could add: there's very little going on with dynamics, though this song really is dynamically diverse. Parts like m10-11 and m20-22 are considerable softer than the surrounding parts, and parts like m14-15 could use a good crescendo. I think you can figure out which markings you can place where. Hope this helps!
Quote from: legoenthusiast on January 12, 2022, 12:17:24 PMThanks for taking the time to look over this! It all looks pretty good but there's some changes I'd add to these. I'm not at the computer right now so I'll have to give a more detailed reply later. Also, I was hoping that this would be relatively accurate, but since this is like a 6-month old arrangement I guess that was too much to hope for.
Unfortunately, I don't have Finale, so I can't make any of the changes :P
I think I may take this down and re-arrange it, since there's probably a lot more errors and I wouldn't want you guys to have to make so many corrections for me :)
Lego I sent you a message on this topic, make the choice you feel like making - though Bloop has committed a lot of time already by going through with this sheet and pointing out this stuff to address
Shoot, accidentally removed my comment while trying to edit it
Repost:
Thanks for taking the time to look over this! It all looks pretty good but there's some changes I'd add to these. I'm not at the computer right now so I'll have to give a more detailed reply later. Also, I was hoping that this would be relatively accurate, but since this is like a 6-month old arrangement I guess that was too much to hope for.
Unfortunately, I don't have Finale, so I can't make any of the changes :P
I think I may take this down and re-arrange it, since there's probably a lot more errors and I wouldn't want you guys to have to make so many corrections for me :)
Kricketune has offered to help with editing, so I'll work on a revised MS score and he'll update this
I'll see it when it comes around! I usually don't mind making edits either, so don't worry about it ^^
Bump for arranger! Have you (and kricketune) been able to work something out yet?
I'm going to archive this for inactivity. If you feel like working through the edits (with or without Kricketune) then feel free to resubmit this later.