Submission Information:
Series: Star Fox
Game: Star Fox
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Sector Y
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Nine Lives (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5395)
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Source (https://fi.zophar.net/soundfiles/nintendo-snes-spc/star-fox/118%20Sector%20Y.mp3)
- I think the 8va marking could be closer aligned to the notes; it stretches a little too far left and right
- m19: You might want to consider adding a cautionary key change here, I was briefly very confused while sightreading lol
- Page 2: Is there a reason you stopped using dyads in the L.H. here? I feel like this part is much emptier than it needs to be, especially with the missing notes from the upper layer (which you might also want to consider adding)
- m37: Same comment as earlier concering the 8va marking
- m42: I think the last two notes in the L.H. would be better off an octave lower
Notes have been added and other stuff has been adjusted.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on March 05, 2023, 10:24:13 AM- m19: You might want to consider adding a cautionary key change here, I was briefly very confused while sightreading lol
I don't think it's particularly necessary. If I were to add it, however, I feel that'd require also adding a courtesy signature for measure 20 as well in order for the player to know not to go to the original key and stay on the current one. That'd clutter the system quite a bit though, I'm afraid. For that reason, I find it better to be left out.
-m1-3: I'd suggest changing the Gb to F#: this section reads a bit better in A dorian.
In these first three bars, you could move the L.H. up an octave, since it leads into the melody in m4 which you've notated up an octave. Also, maybe you could add a crescendo marking too? The tinkly stuff at the top doesn't get louder, but the cello (or viola maybe) does, so the pianist can imitate that with the R.H.
-m4-21: Maybe you could add slurs to the R.H., to differentiate them from the L.H.'s staccato accompaniment.
-m22: Maybe you could move the melody Db in the L.H. up an octave to the R.H., so the melody doesn't suddenly shift octaves after m21. Also, I don't think you need to 8va marking on this second page: the F is still very readable for the R.H., and it's just in two bars total. The rest of the R.H. is just as high as the m38-40, where you don't have the 8va anymore.
-Similarly as above, maybe you could move the L.H. C in m40 up an octave so the melody doesn't shift octaves. The Bb-C is a bit stretchy but doable, but if you don't wanna exceed the octave limit, you could also move the melody to the R.H. in m37-38 and 40. In both cases, it's best to put the melody in a separate layer, so it's clear it's not a part of the other voices.
-m41: Maybe you could add courtesy accidentals to the Gb's in beat 2, since there have been Gn's a lot before there is one in the next bar.
-The D.S. at the end of the bar could be a little bit left and up I think ^^
I believe I've addressed everything above with this update. If I missed anything, let me know.
Nice, I'll approve!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/895351643024015360/906174785795522560/BloopActuallyApproves.png
Looks good! I have a few more things to add:
- For m25, 26, etc: To me it seems a bit counterintuitive to have only the bass note in the lower layer and the rest in the upper layer. Do you think this section might be clearer writing the melody in one layer and the rest (bass+accompaniment) in the other?
- The systems on page 2 can use up that extra space at the bottom, if you want.
- The lower layer rests in m38 can be moved up by one or two staff spaces.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on March 23, 2023, 01:11:55 AM- For m25, 26, etc: To me it seems a bit counterintuitive to have only the bass note in the lower layer and the rest in the upper layer. Do you think this section might be clearer writing the melody in one layer and the rest (bass+accompaniment) in the other?
I did this one, but for some reason, the counts 2 and 3 in the second layer of measures 25 and 33 don't play in the MIDI playback. I don't know if it's just my program or whatever, but since we didn't need to change notes or anything, I left the MIDI file from before in the submitted files.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on March 23, 2023, 01:11:55 AM- The systems on page 2 can use up that extra space at the bottom, if you want.
I pushed the bottom system down a tad to match up with the bottom system of the first page, since the beams take up quite a bit of space at the top. I think having that little space down there is fine. Keeps it level with the other page.
Quote from: NineLives on March 23, 2023, 05:02:36 AMsince we didn't need to change notes or anything, I left the MIDI file from before in the submitted files.
That's fine, thanks for checking over that :p
Systems look good too, so I'll accept...
This submission has been accepted by XiaoMigros (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6725).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot