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Great review.

Boo! You're a hack who can't write!

I would appreciate a little less sarcasm, you of all people should know it takes time to write reviews!  ::)

The Legend of Zelda:  A Link Between Worlds
For Nintendo 3DS


Story: 5/7 (How central was the story to the game?  Was the story unique and riveting?  Did it add to overall enjoyment?)

Spoiler

If the basic story hadn't been done before, it would have been amazing.  As it is, they did a fantastic job making it feel fresh, with colorful villains and well-written cutscenes.

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Character Development: 6/7 (How well were the main characters exposed?  Did you feel connected to them by the end of the game?  Did they have noticeable quirks that made them unique?)

Spoiler

Gulley is quite frankly amazing.  All of the sages have their own attitudes that you can quickly pick up on (looking at you Irene).  I have to say though, Ravio is the most mysterious yet hilarious and epic deuteragonist I've ever seen in a Zelda game.  However, I can't quite figure out why Queen Oren has bloating problems??

[close]

Reward Factor: 6/7 (Did getting through a certain part of the game feel rewarding?  Was the game difficult enough to enjoy a challenge?)

Spoiler

I'll admit it; I'm kinda bad at video games and that makes me a sucker for the slightly lower difficulty ones.  I feel like ALBW set a good bar, and with Hero Mode afterwards, does not disappoint more hardcore gamers.

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Art: 7/7 (Does the art style do a good job of getting the overall vibes of the game across?  Is the art visually appealing?  Does the art match the particular mood of the game at its current time?)

Spoiler

The art direction chosen for ALBW is absolutely stunning and really portrays the idyllic world that is Hyrule compared to the absolute mess of a kingdom called Lorule.  Even better, it's in 3D which has absolutely beautiful effects on the environment.

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Music: 6/7 (Does the music evoke certain emotions that are being portrayed in game?  Does the music match up well with the art?  Does the music have a tone unique to this particular area?)

Spoiler

While most of the music is remixes from ALttP, it had an amazing soundtrack by itself and this is no exception.  The remixes are fresh and do a good job of illustrating the slight differences between ALBW and ALttP.

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Gameplay: 4/7 (Are the controls easy to learn but capable of multiple processes?  Is the interaction with the environment logical and natural?  Are the different areas of the game well constructed and thought out?)

Spoiler

If any part of the game is lacking, I feel it's this part.  A few of the bosses were very unique and stellar, but very many of them were just the same thing over and over.  The touch screen Quick Item Switch was very counterintuitive and I would much rather pause the game to swap items out.  I think the Dark Palace was my absolute favorite dungeon ever made and is a good example of what your average dungeon should be like.  I'd like to mention Tower of Hera as the greatest disappointment of the bunch.  So much design space was wasted here, it felt overhyped.

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Overall: 34/42
While The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds is a great Zelda game and a great 3DS game there are many other Zelda games that outclass it.  I do feel Nintendo taking a step in the right direction with this one, however, adding a few great bosses to the mix and a couple of fantastic dungeons.
Stay tuned for another terrible pun in my review of Skyward Sword!

I disagree quite a bit with that. It was the gameplay that made the game so good, and the graphical style was literally the most bland thing in a Zelda game since that lava place Subrosia in Oracle of Seasons.

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on January 21, 2015, 07:56:35 PMI would appreciate a little less sarcasm, you of all people should know it takes time to write reviews!  ::)

That's why you don't make the thread until the review is actually written.

Quote from: Maelstrom on January 21, 2015, 08:00:48 PMI disagree quite a bit with that. It was the gameplay that made the game so good, and the graphical style was literally the most bland thing in a Zelda game since that lava place Subrosia in Oracle of Seasons.

I honestly think it was hyped way too much.  The whole idea of renting items just meant you had all the items right away rather than having to pick and choose thanks to games like Fortune's Chance!  While the other parts of the game almost certainly lived up to expectations I feel it wasn't the grand step forward nintendo might have been planning with this particular installment.

*gameplay
Meaning how everything controlled. I wouldn't call Ravio's shop "gameplay."

Maybe not, but it was an integral part of the gameplay and was one of the main selling points of the game itself

Ehh. It might have been nice if you could only buy them or died more often. I think the non-linearity was what made the game so good, along with great boss designs.

Yes, the ability to change the dungeon order was nice.  And some of the boss designs were good :P Quite a few of them were just "Eye with protection around it" though

EarthBound
With a Capital B


Story: 7/7

Spoiler

Okay, is 7 too high of a score?  No way.  The story grabs you right off the bat and sets a unique niche in rpg stories as a sci-fi rather than fantasy setting.  Even the fact that everyone seems ok with a kid being destined to save the world somehow makes sense.  All boys leave home someday.  That's what it said on TV.  By today's standards the story is very simplistic but I feel like alien invasions don't have a lot of representation in video games, so EarthBound doesn't have much competition.  The story isn't perfect, of course - after all, it is an rpg- what would they do without a final boss fight story device?  It also loses micro points for a cliche ending.

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Character Development: 5/7

Spoiler

A large part of the story is Ness growing as a hero and a majority of this score belongs to that change alone.  It's really hard to describe this one but all the important characters in the story really change.  A good example of this is the relationship between Jeff and his dad.

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Reward factor: 6/7

Spoiler

So apparently this game isn't actually that hard after all, but playing through it the first time it was seriously challenging for me and the fact that I finished the game speaks volumes to how rewarding the game feels.

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Art: 4/7

Spoiler

Well, it has its strong suits.

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Music: 6/7

Spoiler

The only reason it doesn't get a 7 here is because I didn't like the entire soundtrack.  That being said, the ost did a good job of characterizing the game and showing off how unique the game was for its time.

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Gameplay: 5/7

Spoiler

So it would be really nice if the game let you know that L was the actual A button.  There also wasn't a lot of space for innovation in the battle system, as it is just an rpg.  The background was also mildly distracting at times, but the game doesn't lose points for that.

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Overall: 34/42
This is a mobile review so I can't fully give the game justice, but it is thoroughly the most enjoyable rpg I have ever played, and I'd recommend everyone give it a try no matter your taste in gaming, because it really is in a class of its own.


Inb4 comment about great SS review

great undertale review

Quote from: Dudeman on September 18, 2016, 05:36:04 PMgreat undertale review

Everything is wrong about this statement.

EarthBound is hella cool and I love it but I've never found the motivation to finish it. I stopped at the desert town before and just never went back to it, and that was my third time trying. I'll play it all the way through someday.

Did you review the SNES, Wii U, or New 3DS version?

Wii U.  Although I don't know if there are actually any differences aside from save states

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on September 18, 2016, 05:54:53 PMEverything is wrong about this statement.

RIP Cashwarrior
Pokemon Sun
Guys' Fashion Doesn't Matter

Story: 2/7

Spoiler

I admit, I rushed through the game way too quickly for me to give an unbiased analysis of the story, but my main beef with it was its childish labeling of right and wrong and how the entire thing feels more like an NBC drama than a video game.  The fact that the story is obvious doesn't really make it lose points here.  I thought it was fine, and 2/7 is a reflection of how good of a story I think it was rather than how much I enjoyed it.  Lusamine wasn't necessarily in the right, but I don't really see Lillie and Gladion being in the right here either.  Overall the lack of clear motivation, antagonists, and an opposition to the protagonist's goals (in fact Lusamine herself brought up the similarities between the protagonist and herself, and I agreed with her quite a bit.) made the story seem lackluster in comparison to, say, DPPt, whose antagonist is basically the best in the entire Pokemon series.

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Character Development: 6/7

Spoiler

Yeah, they got me here.  Not necessarily that I was a fan of Lillie undergoing such a radical change, but the way the story WAS set up left a lot of room for character development of the Aether (pronounced EE-thur for those of you wondering) family, which they definitely did a good job on delivering.  The characters were pretty great too (shoutout to ya boy Guzma) and I can honestly say I understood where each character's motivations were coming from, even if they were unfocused and/or I didn't necessarily agree with their point of view.

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Reward Factor: 3/7

Spoiler

This one is almost entirely my fault, since I was 100% expecting to be able to go to Kanto after the main game was over.  The game was also pretty easy, meaning that beating the Totem beasts and the Captains wasn't necessarily as rewarding as it could have been, especially since they were a lot weaker than Gym Leaders.  On the other hand, the Kahuna battles were quite fun.  I also have an issue with Lusamine's battles, since I was REALLY REALLY REALLY expecting her Clefable to be a major headache but she was quite easy for me to take out.

[close]

Art: 3/7

Spoiler

It's 2016, you guys can do better.  Not that I mind, but...

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Music: 4/7

Spoiler

The battle themes are definitely catchy, but Pokemon music is generally outside of my taste.  With that in mind, this is a pretty good score.  I also played in the middle of the night, so I didn't get a chance to enjoy the full soundtrack.  I think my favorite background music in the game is Royal Avenue.  Why?  I'm not sure.

[close]

Gameplay: 6/7

Spoiler

It's Pokemon man, tried and true formula.  Plus they gave you cheats this time so I didn't have to agonize over whether or not my move was half effective.

[close]

Overall: 24/42

Granted, a majority of the reason why I picked up this game was the PokeBank/RBY compatibility, which I greatly look forward to experimenting with in the next few months.  I wouldn't recommend this game if you're looking for a very story driven time intensive game (I beat the story in 20 hours man), but for a casual time passer it hits the spot.

I very much enjoyed reading it. It's weird how two people can take away such different experiences from Pokémon. I finished the game at about 80 hours. Though I'm not sure taking away points because you expected to go to Kanto is really fair xD I'm also kind of getting the impression you just mashed A through all of the story cutscenes

Nooo
I only mashed a through the executor island cutscene because c'mon who didn't

yeah that part was kind of dumb

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on December 11, 2016, 11:08:29 PMI only mashed a through the executor island cutscene because c'mon who didn't

What?!?!? Honestly, that was my favorite part. In moon, the shooting stars was awesome.
I enjoyed the story even though there wasn't really a motive, it was just interesting :P
Also, I hate that Lillie didn't just keep Nebby, what the heck?

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on December 11, 2016, 09:52:37 PMRIP Cashwarrior

I'll go die again ;-;

The shooting stars occured at night.  The same cutscene during the day caused a rainbow to appear.  But the entire thing was just cinematic drama fluff that I didn't really care about

I'm going to rank all the zelda games on some arbitrary scale based on how good of a game it is, how Ocarina of Time-y it is, and how much I like it.  This means some games are better than ones below them, and the same with other metrics, with the exception of FS/FSA.  Sometimes I'll explain my reasoning.

1. Wind Waker
Needs no explanation.

2. A Link to the Past
The SNES is fortunate in that its games all tend to age incredibly well.  ALttP is no exception.

3. Skyward Sword
Sure, this game is linear almost to a fault, but if it wasn't, it would surpass ALttP.  It plays with the environment and map layouts in ways that make going back to old places exciting.  Replaying it only increases my enjoyment of it.

4. Link's Awakening
No explanation needed ;_;

5. Majora's Mask
Again, probably doesn't need explanation.

6. Minish Cap
This game was in my top 5 until it got knocked off by LA.  MC has some of the best dungeons in the series.  The game was limited by its overcrowdedness.  Rewards just weren't that valuable since they required little effort.

7. A Link Between Worlds
If you make a game this similar to ALttP, it can't be terrible.

8. Ocarina of Time
OoT is typical.  Games better than it are awesome, and games worse than it are still good, but these games just don't hold up to the shining examples above.

9. Legend of Zelda
Really, go play this, it's a great game.

10. Oracle of Ages
The oracle games are so similar from a gameplay perspective that it's hard to put one over the other.  That being said...

10 +1/2. Oracle of Seasons
Nayru is hotter.

11. Triforce Heroes
Despite being such an odd game, it still carries a distinct zelda charm that saves it from being lower on this list.

12. Twilight Princess
An otherwise boring game is raised up by an epic dragon fight and Wolf Link.

13. Spirit Tracks
Despite its childish appearance, this game is difficult.  I still haven't beaten Malladus.  Most of the game's difficulty stems from the lack of a targeting system.

14. Phantom Hourglass
See above but in 240p.

15. Adventure of Link
This game is fun if you're into sadism, but for most of us the game is just obnoxious and repetitive.  The downward stab is fantastic though.

so it's basically a list of easy to hard huh jk sort of

I resent that
especially since PH is second to last and that's probably the easiest game in the series

Yeah, PH was pretty easy. Also, how have you not beaten ST yet? I legitimately do not remember having any difficulty defeating the final boss. Iirc, it was just tedious collecting all of the train cars.

I agree with Olimar, there's really nothing very difficult about Malladus...

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on March 09, 2017, 03:55:26 PMhow Ocarina of Time-y it is

[...]

8. Ocarina of Time

Quote from: Pianist Da Sootopolis on June 26, 2016, 02:24:05 PMI SMELL A CONTRADICTION!!!

Can confirm about Zelda I though. It's especially fun if you make a map (and it helps with gameplay because many rooms / regions look the same) and when you're done with the game you're left with an entire map.

people need to stop using that quote.  I explained why oot is where it is and it's a good benchmark for your "average" zelda game, making it a useful measurement tool

Of the Zelda games I've played:

1. Majora's Mask -- everything Ocarina was, but twice as clever, twice as quirky, twice as grotesque, and twice as challenging.
2. Ocarina of Time -- a masterclass in video game design. I played the majora-ty (heh) of it for the first time in 2016 and it felt spectacularly modern and new and fun and epic. Elitists can hate, but it's fun as hell. Even in 2017.
3. A Link to the Past -- Not as fun as the 3D ones, but again shockingly modern for its time and very engrossing in its winking puzzles and bosses.
4. Wind Waker -- cute art style but frustrating and obnoxious gameplay, without any fun to be had in the dungeons I made it to.
5. The Legend of Zelda -- Hard but still maybe kinda fun to explore and power through.
6. Twilight Princess -- possibly the most tedious and frustrating game I've ever played. It's so bad. I get actively annoyed every time I play it. Dungeon design is good but the overworld sections are so boring, tear-inducing, and maddening that they completely spoil the entire experience. I stopped in the Gerudo dungeon about 18 hours in and I won't be completing it.

Quote from: SlowPokemon on March 10, 2017, 04:44:42 PMmajora-ty (heh)

please no

Quote from: SlowPokemon on March 10, 2017, 04:44:42 PMI stopped in the Gerudo dungeon about 18 hours in and I won't be completing it.

awwwwwwww :'(
You really just hit the part where it picks up and stops being a tedious snore-fest. The Tears of Light are easily the worst part of the game. It's only uphill from here. You're probably set on giving up, but Imma implore you anyway to try and make it to the final dungeon. Please, it's so good.

talk about a thread hijack lol

Also dm that's a pun I really expected from you.

People associate me with bad puns but I really haven't been that witty lately. The association should really be given to Slow, he's easily beating me.

Hy-rule when it comes to puns

And you've made a case so I may pick it back up but it's been a month so we'll see

Quote from: SlowPokemon on March 10, 2017, 05:07:11 PMHy-rule when it comes to puns

No. Do not desecrate Zelda with such puns. Make a good one. Or I'll have to Tri-force.

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Expert Rock Climber, Boulderer Drowns in Foot of Water
Pathologists Baffled


Story: 2/7 (How central was the story to the game?  Was the story unique and riveting?  Did it add to overall enjoyment?)

Spoiler

The story is probably the weakest point to the game due to its convoluted nature and out-of-order flashback style.  The game has 3 stories: The superstory (the sheikah, guardians, and calamity ganon- the 10,000 year old section), the flashback story (the story contained overall in the flashbacks), and the main story (boy wakes up from 100 year nap and defeats embodiment of demise).  The main story was pretty empty to leave room for gameplay, the superstory is riveting but also isn't done enough justice- I mean, we still don't know where the game fits in the main storyline, though I'm sticking to my guns that it's downfall timeline.  The flashback story was actively bad and I wish I hadn't decided to collect all the memories.

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Character Development:4/7 (How well were the main characters exposed?  Did you feel connected to them by the end of the game?  Did they have noticeable quirks that made them unique?)

Spoiler

I'll give this one some bonus points, because even though I didn't particularly LIKE the characters, they were well developed (Robbie, Purah, the Champions...) and despite the voice acting and generally cringey dialogue I still liked certain aspects of the characters.  Mipha is waifu

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Reward Factor: 6/7 (Did getting through a certain part of the game feel rewarding?  Was the game difficult enough to enjoy a challenge?)

Spoiler

Getting off the Great Plateau was very rewarding to me.  The beginning was challenging (very much so) but as you get more powerful defeating enemies becomes tedious rather than a puzzle.  Having enemies respawn as a higher powered monster helped somewhat but silver enemies still aren't strong enough to be a difficulty, even in multiples.  Lynels, on the other hand, have entirely too much HP and take way too long to defeat a single one.  They have nice weapons though.

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Art: 6/7 (Does the art style do a good job of getting the overall vibes of the game across?  Is the art visually appealing?  Does the art match the particular mood of the game at its current time?)

Spoiler

The art aesthetic is one of the high points of the game and it's strongly suggestive of a fusion of Wind Waker and Skyward Sword.  Basically, I like.  The overworld is well done, but it loses a point because Nintendo somehow still can't draw trees in more than two dimensions.  (Confused at what I mean?  Climb an evergreen tree and look around.)

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Music: 3/7 (Does the music evoke certain emotions that are being portrayed in game?  Does the music match up well with the art?  Does the music have a tone unique to this particular area?)

Spoiler

The music is, for the most part, unmemorable, and for a game this large I expected a better soundtrack.  Haters will list all the good songs.  And I'll probably agree.

[close]

Gameplay: 5/7 (Are the controls easy to learn but capable of multiple processes?  Is the interaction with the environment logical and natural?  Are the different areas of the game well constructed and thought out?)

Spoiler

The gameplay is supposed to be the selling point of the game and for the most part, they did a very good job.  Interaction with the environment is incredibly natural and well thought out.  If you think you can do something, you probably can, and that's a good thing.  Combat is the same way.  For example, you can cut off Guardians' legs to stop them from moving around and kiting you.  You can climb on the backs of Lynels and give them a good whipping from behind.  On the flipside, there are a few areas that feel completely opposite.  Why is Link such a weak swimmer?  My 13 year old brother can tread water longer than he does.  Weapons breaking (and having such a large multitude of weapons) makes that part of the game almost overwhelming: I want to use this really cool weapon, but it might break, so I'll save it for when I really need it.  I want to pick up this really cool weapon, but I already have other weapons that I might need, so I'll debate for 5 minutes and probably end up leaving this weapon here.  Blood moons respawning weapons helps this issue somewhat.  There are more gameplay issues that can be fixed by buying the DLC (this DLC is stuff that we deserved for the main game tbh) so with the DLC it gains 1 gameplay point and loses 1 reward factor point for being too expensive.

[close]

Overall: 26/42
I was expecting it to get a higher score than this, because despite its flaws it still has reasons to come back and play it.  As a bonus I'm giving you the revamped Zelda Power Rankings with BotW included:

Spoiler

1. Wind Waker
Needs no explanation.

2. A Link to the Past
The SNES is fortunate in that its games all tend to age incredibly well.  ALttP is no exception.

3. Skyward Sword
Sure, this game is linear almost to a fault, but if it wasn't, it would surpass ALttP.  It plays with the environment and map layouts in ways that make going back to old places exciting.  Replaying it only increases my enjoyment of it.

4. Link's Awakening
No explanation needed ;_;

5. Majora's Mask
Again, probably doesn't need explanation.

6. Minish Cap
This game was in my top 5 until it got knocked off by LA.  MC has some of the best dungeons in the series.  The game was limited by its overcrowdedness.  Rewards just weren't that valuable since they required little effort.

7. A Link Between Worlds
If you make a game this similar to ALttP, it can't be terrible.

8. Ocarina of Time
OoT is typical.  Games better than it are awesome, and games worse than it are still good, but these games just don't hold up to the shining examples above.

9. Legend of Zelda
Really, go play this, it's a great game.

10. Breath of the Wild
I just reviewed it.

11. Oracle of Ages
The oracle games are so similar from a gameplay perspective that it's hard to put one over the other.  That being said...

11 +1/2. Oracle of Seasons
Nayru is hotter.

12. Triforce Heroes
Despite being such an odd game, it still carries a distinct zelda charm that saves it from being lower on this list.

13. Twilight Princess
An otherwise boring game is raised up by an epic dragon fight and Wolf Link.

14. Spirit Tracks
Despite its childish appearance, this game is difficult.  I still haven't beaten Malladus.  Most of the game's difficulty stems from the lack of a targeting system.

15. Phantom Hourglass
See above but in 240p.

16. Adventure of Link
This game is fun if you're into sadism, but for most of us the game is just obnoxious and repetitive.  The downward stab is fantastic though.

[close]

Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon
20% Bigger



Story: 6/7 (How central was the story to the game?  Was the story unique and riveting?  Did it add to overall enjoyment?)

Spoiler

While the main story only takes up 15-20 hours of gameplay, it's 15-20 of the best hours I spend.  I've now replayed through the main story for the seventh time as of a couple days ago and while it's lost a lot of the original draw it's still a great story that I enjoy running through perpetually.  For once I finally wish I could unplay a game to get that experience back the first time I played it.  At times the dialogue was way too cheesy to handle, which brings it down a bit, but for the most part it's well done.

[close]

Character Development: 5/7 (How well were the main characters exposed?  Did you feel connected to them by the end of the game?  Did they have noticeable quirks that made them unique?)

Spoiler

The character development is mostly relegated to the partner player, but throughout the course of the story, your partner really grows up and matures.  When we first meet them they're an off-the-walls prankster who's always rushing headfirst into trouble, but after spending so much time with us the partner finally starts to slow down and make mature decisions.  From the part where Beheeyem leads us to the Prehistoric Ruins to saving Nuzleaf and Yveltal, your partner makes difficult decisions without any help from Ampharos etc.

[close]

Reward Factor: 5/7 (Did getting through a certain part of the game feel rewarding?  Was the game difficult enough to enjoy a challenge?)

Spoiler

SO GOOD ENDING
Game isn't super difficult and I've always found PMD gameplay to be too tedious to be fun, so it's nice that you can cruise through the boring parts.

[close]

Art: 6/7 (Does the art style do a good job of getting the overall vibes of the game across?  Is the art visually appealing?  Does the art match the particular mood of the game at its current time?)

Spoiler

I've never played GTI, but I think they re-used everything from that.  It looks pretty good though.  There are some spots where the 3D doesn't line up quite right, but overall the 3D effect adds a lot to the cutscenes.

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Music: 6/7 (Does the music evoke certain emotions that are being portrayed in game?  Does the music match up well with the art?  Does the music have a tone unique to this particular area?)

Spoiler

I still can't decide if Explorers or PSMD has a better soundtrack because for all the greatness that is the Explorers soundtrack there are quite a few gems from PSMD.  Just head over to Bespinben's arrangement thread for a small sample of the soundtrack.  There are also a few key tracks that play during important story moments that bring the atmosphere to the perfect setting.

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Gameplay: 3/7 (Are the controls easy to learn but capable of multiple processes?  Is the interaction with the environment logical and natural?  Are the different areas of the game well constructed and thought out?)

Spoiler

As I've already said, I find this kind of gameplay tedious.  Mostly because of having to constantly fight through waves of enemies who are, on average, stronger than you.  If it wasn't for AI stupidity some parts of the game would be impossible (I'm looking at you, Ominous Wind Unburden Drifblim.)  PSMD fixes a lot of the gameplay issues that were present in Explorers- as Nitro put it, you had to "unlock common sense" in Explorers, which often put your team in bad situations.  I'm assuming a lot of these issues were also fixed in GTI though.

[close]

Overall: 31/42

Despite having a great soundtrack and greater story, everything beyond that final battle is more of the same PMD stuff, which I'm not too interested in.  Explorers took its postgame more seriously and that made it a lot more palatable.  Still, PSMD was good enough to get me to buy Explorers of Sky on the eShop, and I'm considering purchasing Red Rescue Team and Gates to Infinity as well thanks to Altissimo's fine let's play of the former.

Top 8 Zelda Villians

Legend of Zelda has a lot of villains, antagonists, all around bad dudes (or dudettes), and terrors.  So I'm going to share the 8 best and why they're the 8 best.

#8

Ganondorf [twilight princess, ocarina of time, wind waker]

Ganondorf is the leader of the Gerudo, and has had many incarnations throughout the series.  Ocarina of Time is his origin, while his personality is greatly fleshed out in Wind Waker.  He's ruthless, cunning, and holds the triforce of power.  If you're looking for a classic fantasy villain, look no further.

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#7

Agahnim [a link to the past]

Agahnim is the mysterious wizard who attempts to revive ganon.  While he doesn't share much of his personal life, he's crazy strong and link has one heck of a time trying to defeat him.

[close]

#6

Yuga [a link between worlds]

Yuga is such a hilarious enemy.  While his motivations are a bit obscured at first, getting through the game reveals his true colors...

And he's aware of his own theme song, that's ganondorf-tier.

[close]

#5

Shopkeeper [link's awakening]

He taught me a valuable lesson as a kid.

[close]

#4

Dark Link [adventure of link, ocarina of time, twilight princess, a link between worlds, four swords (or fsa, one of them has a dark link)]

Dark Link is a manifestation of Link's own negative side, meaning he literally has to defeat the evil within himself.  If that's not enough to put dark link on this list, I don't know what is.

[close]

#3

Ghirahim [skyward sword]

Honestly, ghirahim hits all the high notes.  He's like a fabulous fusion of ganondorf and yuga.  Without spoiling anything, the end is a letdown, but man!  Constantly underestimating link, overconfident, creepy, cold, ruthless, and prone to outbursts of anger.  It's apparent his pride is his fatal flaw and that ironically makes this demon one of the most human villains in the series.

[close]

#2

Byrne [spirit tracks]

If you didn't expect Byrne to be on this list you should be ashamed of yourself.  I don't think I have to say anything here except GO BYRNE!

And maybe what did you think was going to happen working with a demon chancellor?

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#1

Vaati [minish cap, four swords/ adventures]
Vaati is in my opinion the second most iconic villain of the Zelda series, and the most underrated.  I'd argue he's more powerful than ganon, and we get to see his origins in Minish Cap.  I might get criticism for putting him at number 1, but I think he deserves it.

What do you think of this list?  Ganondorf too low?  Byrne too high?  Suspicious lack of bellum?  I screwed up dark link and shadow link? (Don't think I did) 

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Um, oot was not Ganondorf's origin.

Was he in fsa or something before oot?  That'd be weird, but I haven't played either fs/a so I really couldn't say

...um try a link to the past?

I'm speaking canonically
Like oot was developed as a prequel to alttp
And then only ganon actually appears in alttp anyway

Canonically the story of Ganondorf Dragmire was told first in alttp though.

Canonically oot comes before alttp
And you're right that dialogue talks about ganondorf, but do we really count that as appearing?

I mean it was the first account of his existence before the beast form.

Yes but not canonically

Where is Majora/Skull Kid

If I took out shopkeeper him or shadow link would probably exist on here

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on August 30, 2017, 09:14:45 AM

#5

Shopkeeper [link's awakening]

He taught me a valuable lesson as a kid.

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Should be #1

Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 30, 2017, 02:34:34 PMShould be #1

seconded

I make this record now, that posterity may know of the great battle between the Hero and the Demon; yet as I am weary with battle already I must rest and regain my strength.  Despite the precarious situation I find myself in, I can't help but enjoy a cruel irony- if I fail, none will be left to witness.  I must defeat Demise, for this land, for Skyloft, and for the people who call it home.  For... Zelda...

Story- 7/7

Zelda games rarely need a well thought out story to be a home run, yet Skyward Sword has one of the best in the series.  From the idyllic school days on skyloft to chasing after a friend to realizing your part to play in the grand scheme of things, the raw story is a classic one.

In a discussion of which Zelda storylines would make the best movies, skyward sword is certainly a contender.  I like how important the character relationships and conflict are to the story, and that's a sign of success.  If there's anything the story did wrong, I'd say there's a bit of tension between the natural urge to explore and the natural urge to further the story, and there's not really a good marker where you can set the story down for a bit to explore each area to the fullest.  That's not much of an issue though as you naturally revisit older areas as part of the story, making backtracking organic and less of a chore.

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Character Development-7/7

I just love the characters in skyward sword.  Groose and his henchmen, link and Zelda themselves, many other less-than-side characters- they all progress throughout the game in a way that leaves you legitimately attached to them and interested in what they're up to.  Pippit and Fledge are good examples of this.

There are also several character dynamics and relationships that change, especially in the realm of characters' interactions with link.  A big part of this may be from the gratitude crystals, a sidequest award that leaves you feeling pretty empty until you see the sweet rewards in exchange for those crystals.  Doesn't helping people feel great?

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Reward Factor-4/7

While the battles themselves are very rewarding to partake in, the puzzles are middling headscratchers that sometimes are too simple and sometimes cause no end of grief because you overlooked a single detail.  A few of the more challenging ones can also be trivialized with a basic reading ability.  Not one of the game's strong points here, but the journey is where the fun's at in this case.

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Art-6/7

So, apparently skyward sword is in 480p, a result of being on the back end of the Wii.  That being said, the art style meshes so well that after about 10 minutes of playing I couldn't even account for the lower resolution anymore.  Very well done here, and I think the art will help make this one of the timeless entries in the series.

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Music-7/7

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Everything is perfect

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Gameplay-7/7

Thank you for the most fun I have ever had wielding a bow.  Seriously.  Maybe I'm just a sucker for wiimote nunchuk controls, but they hit a sweet spot and skyward sword utilized gameplay to the max.  Tons of fun unique items that stayed strangely relevant throughout the game.  Also, skyward sword did something very few games do.  The final battle with ghirahim brought a smile to my face.  It was just plain fun.  Difficulty level a non-factor, skyward sword has the most individual fun battles I've ever seen in a game and I think that goes unsaid a lot.  I battled demise before writing this, but only had like 3 or 4 hearts and didn't make it past the lightning stage.  It was a more fun battle than I remember, but it's ruined by just being worse than the battle immediately preceding it.

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Overall-38/42 (did I count wrong?  That seems high...)

Maybe I didn't play it enough in large bursts to pick up on what others dislike about it, because I enjoyed the ride.  Top 5 Zelda games of all time, and I found myself comparing it to wind waker a lot, which is a good thing.  At some point I'll review the behemoth itself, and I think it deserves a perfect score.

This has been a mobile review.

I have to say, I definitely agree with you on one thing: this is the best looking Wii game by a long shot. At times I even almost forgot I was playing a Wii game, as I said in my own review.

1. bump

2. I guess this is mikey's reviews now

3. not the right place for this, but the best place

4. I watched stranger things season 2

5. it was good

so, a little backstory.  For some reason, Mormons loved stranger things.  couldn't tell ya why, but they did.  In fact, the guy who plays dustin even spent some time chilling with Studio C while they were working on a stranger things sketch.  I'm sure with enough digging you could find it.
Anyhoo...


WARNING: SPOILERS ARE NOT PRESENT AHEAD

I saw stranger things browsing Netflix and skipped it over, branding it as another lame Netflix original.  Shoutout to my man shadowkirby, who basically convinced me to watch it by posting stupid stranger things memes on facebook... and by telling me to watch it.  I ended up watching the entire first season overnight, and it was soooo good.  And I was watching it basically without volume, using subtitles, and it was still amazing.  I waited for no real reason to watch season 2, but I watched all of it today (>.>) and I'm suitably impressed.  Impressed enough that I have to run here and write a review about it even though it's not a game.

Essentially, season 1 is a constant climb of suspense up until the resolution at the season finale.  It's a thriller in every sense of the word and I got a strong "I am Legend" vibe from it.  And the usual problem with sequels is that they never live up to the original because they have to somehow outdo what the predecessor started it.  I can honestly say that season 2 lives up to the legacy of the original season and quite nearly puts it to shame.  With that out of the way, what made season 2 so good?

I think a big reason it succeeded was the hook they left at the end of season 1.  Somehow this tiny little 15 second clip at the very end of the finale turns into the plot of an entire season, and it's a really good plot, too.  Stranger Things successfully draws from both well-known sci-fi and fantasy tropes to make it seem so familiar.  If you're a big nerd, like most people who use this site are, you'll probably enjoy Stranger Things for one reason or another.

The whole cast from season 1 (more or less) makes a return but season 2 adds a few more characters who are instantly relatable, charming, or otherwise enjoyable.  Relationships between everyone become more defined and you clearly start seeing where some friendships are stronger and some are... not as strong.  Sometimes there are characters in movies and TV shows that I just hate and wish would get killed off, or something.  Stranger Things didn't have a single one.  Everyone did a really good job and there wasn't cringeworthy dialogue like in certain DC superhero TV shows I could mention (ugh... just thinking about it...).

Even getting into the plot of season 2 spoils things from season 1, so if you haven't seen season 1, first, what are you doing with your life?  Second, try to avoid anything related to the show, as it's probably from season 2.  Then go watch season 1, and since you're already on Netflix, follow it up with season 2.

I can think of few reasons why anybody wouldn't enjoy Stranger Things, but if you're really really squeamish or maybe can't handle swearing, smoking, and underage drinking on screen, or think Agents of Shield has impressive cliffhangers, it's probably not your cup of tea.  That being said, it's hard to tell whether you'd like it or not without watching the WHOLE THING.  I know, it's crazy.  But the first episode of season 1 gives so little away as to how the rest of the plot plays out.  I get this feeling when I'm watching it, like somehow two guys went back in time with their HD recording technology, and actually made a TV series in the '80s.

...woah, maybe THAT'S why Mormons like it.

*WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.  I ADVISE AVOIDING IF YOU INTEND TO PLAY THE GAME BELOW*
*but it's okay to click the spoiler on overall.  That's safe.*

Doki Doki Literature Club
I Swear I'm Not a Weeb

The game that has been echoed throughout the discord chat.  I ask, "Is it free to play?"  And Brainy responds, "Yes."  So I play it, having absolutely no idea what it is or what to expect, other than the fact that it seems really weeaboo-ish.
Story: 5/7

Spoiler

I enjoyed it.  I took away the points because of how convoluted and nonlinear the story is meant to be, so if you don't mind the chore that is keeping multiple save files separate, feel free to put a 7 here.  Myself I'll stick with running through it just the once, no save files.  It's pretty thought-provoking, actually.  The multiple metaphors wrapped in the game are clearly intentional.
Also, I took away the points because
[11:37 PM] Angry Penguin: hot take: monika is actually a psychopath and she killed sayori and is going to kill everyone else
predictable/7

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Character Development: 6/7

Spoiler

Rather than actual development, you learn more about the characters slowly.  I guess that way it's meant to hurt more when Monika talks about them so casually.  Like "I hope you're not hung up about what happened to Sayori!"  Which, not gonna lie, was pretty funny.

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Reward factor: 5/7

Spoiler

Okay, so I got the Monika ending, which is what I was going for.  Cause apparently if you're trying to get a date, you might as well get a date with the best one, right?  So Monika sat there talking intermittently, and I was waiting for it to end.  It didn't end.  But she kept saying stupid stuff hinting towards deleting her character, which I absolutely didn't want to do, but apparently I can't end the game without doing it, so I went ahead and changed her character name into "sayori.chr", which has the same effect as deleting her.  Finally, I got to the blessed credits scene, which made everything worth it.  So even though there were some frustrating parts, it was rewarding to finally get to the actual ending.  Which is actually a very good credits scene.

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Art: 6/7

Spoiler

I can't judge this too heavily since I've got nothing really to compare to, but it looked alright to me.

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Music: 3/7

Spoiler

I liked the credits theme fair enough, but the music was mostly cheery enough or erratic enough to make me keep the volume off.

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Gameplay: 6/7

Spoiler

Sometimes, I felt bored out of my mind, and other times, I felt like I was playing a game of chess that would determine the outcome of the fate of the world.  Obviously the gameplay of a visual novel is atypical of video games, but that doesn't mean it's not there.  There are tons of decision trees that all have possible ramifications.  Personally I was fine with just sticking to my guns and making the single choice, though given the context clues, I think you're supposed to keep a branch of all possible decisions.

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Overall: 33/42

Spoiler

Doki Doki Literature Club is a unique game that deserves a shot regardless of your tastes.  The developers put a lot of work into it, and it shows.  I believe that in order to make a game the best version of itself, you have to cut out extraneous complexity, but DDLC just shovels in metaphors and everything to try and confuse you, er, I think that's what it's trying to do?  It definitely wasn't at all what I expected from Doki Doki Literature Club, mostly because there was a large emphasis on poetry in particular.  And the rhymes weren't even that good!  Just because I'm never playing the game again doesn't mean I didn't like it or I think it's a bad game.  I just don't think replaying it has anywhere near the same thrill that the first time through had.  Maybe that means I'm not playing the game as it's meant to be played, but decisions have consequences and you ought to see those consequences out to the end.

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Night in the Woods
Life: The Video Game


Story: 4/7 (How central was the story to the game?  Was the story unique and riveting?  Did it add to overall enjoyment?)

Spoiler

The story started off as fantastic.  You're immediately introduced to interesting characters during your first night and day back home in Possum Springs.  Little bits and pieces of town history worm their way into your mind as you explore and pick apart the town.  Slight elements of sad history keep you on edge constantly up to the point where something finally happens- at Harfest you see a ghost, you think.  Good friends stay by your side as you gather more information about the town's history, culminating in an eye-opening microfiche page that gives you so many missing pieces of the town's story.  Unfortunately after a few more really creepy scenes the story is dropped down a mine shaft (to use an appropriate metaphor) and the conclusion leaves you... bored.

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Character Development: 6/7 (How well were the main characters exposed?  Did you feel connected to them by the end of the game?  Did they have noticeable quirks that made them unique?)

Spoiler

Mae comes back home to find that everything has changed, whether she likes it or not.  Throughout the course of several days in Possum Springs, your interactions with different townspeople feel authentic and refreshing.  The bonds of friendship are tested in the woods, as broken childhood friends reunite and new friendships are forged through seriously traumatic events.

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Reward Factor: 3/7 (Did getting through a certain part of the game feel rewarding?  Was the game difficult enough to enjoy a challenge?)

Spoiler

Night in the Woods wasn't very difficult.  I missed a few things here and there, but the story does a really good job of propelling you along that you don't want to go over everything with a fine-toothed comb.  To have the story be so gripping yet so unfulfilling is a bit of a tragedy, really.  Fix the conclusion and the reward factor doubles.  I didn't feel any big rush of accomplishment as the game ended.  Some slight confusion mixed with the aforementioned boredom.

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Art: 5/7 (Does the art style do a good job of getting the overall vibes of the game across?  Is the art visually appealing?  Does the art match the particular mood of the game at its current time?)

Spoiler

The art was cute and I think they hit the nail on the head with whatever they were trying to go for.  It all seems so innocent until the fog rolls in, then you're afraid to even walk forward.

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Music: 2/7 (Does the music evoke certain emotions that are being portrayed in game?  Does the music match up well with the art?  Does the music have a tone unique to this particular area?)

Spoiler

I mean, I had the music turned up all the way and the sound effects way down, but nothing outside of the band practice sessions really *stood out* to me.  The music was serviceable for most areas.  I think a special mention for the dream sequences is deserved here, since the whole point of them is to find all the musicians and have them start playing.  Many games have much better music, but what's there isn't terrible or hard to listen to.  It's just there.

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Gameplay: 7/7 (Are the controls easy to learn but capable of multiple processes?  Is the interaction with the environment logical and natural?  Are the different areas of the game well constructed and thought out?)

Spoiler

Exploring the town was so much fun and I would do it again if there was a mystery to be solved.  I can't really say I was expecting a descent into madness, which is more or less what Night in the Woods amounted to, but they pulled that off well.  Possum Springs does a good job of imitating a small town and that comes across in the gameplay, where things happen at a typical pace- construction lasts forever, blocking access to the bridge; a friend of your grandpa's sometimes shows up with stories about him; people genuinely have interesting things to say.  The occasional break to rhythm game was fun too, but Demontower wasn't really my cup of tea.  Reminds me of a steam game though.  Night in the Woods' exploration is different than most types of exploration.  Instead of physically exploring a space you're exploring less corporeal things in the town, if that makes sense.

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Overall: 27/42

actual spoilers

Seriously, what is up with the story?  It was going so well, then you walk and walk some more and surprise it's the conservative bad guys.  No mysteries here.  I was expecting a lot more in that regard.  The microfiche table had so many questions and answers that I wanted to make a conspiracy board.  Having Satanic cultists is totally fine, except for when your reaction to them is "u guise r old ur opinion dosent matter anymore LUL".  The entire game was hyping up these weird goings-on and suddenly, when it's most important, shifts gears to what appears to be some type of schizophrenia.  Relateable.

If you're going to play Night in the Woods, realize that the main storyline means absolutely nothing and spoilers are insignificant.  Nobody dies, Mae doesn't go to jail, doesn't even reap the consequences of her aggressive language.  Overall I'd say the game isn't quite worth the $20, even with the additional 2 "games" that came along with it.  Near the end of the main story Mae and her friends suddenly become obsessed with "Good" and "Bad" labels, calling each other extremely good people, even if they're... kind of not.

If Night in the Woods had focused on the mental confusion and social aspect in the early game it would have done well.  If it had focused on the story and seen it through to the end, it would have done well.  Instead it gets stuck in this half-state where it's trying to do too much and not succeeding at any of it.  So much untapped potential for Night in the Woods, it's really just a shame.  If it ever goes on sale for like 30% off or something it's probably worth picking up at that point.

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You really wanted a mystery game didn't you?

I don't even know whose arm it was bro
plus all those things aunt mall-cop said

DELTARUNE
Well, Part of it, Anyway


Story: 5/7 (How central was the story to the game?  Was the story unique and riveting?  Did it add to overall enjoyment?)

Spoiler

The story is simple and to the point, and adds a lot of nuance through Susie's character progression (more on that later).  I can only imagine where the story is going from here (or maybe I don't have to because that end of chapter scene was quite something) but if we take Chapter 1 to be its own story (and disregard that cliffhanger cause whew-ee) I think it did fairly well.  I felt some element of being propelled thanks to story suspense, but it may have been because there's only one way to go. :v

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Character Development: 4/7 (How well were the main characters exposed?  Did you feel connected to them by the end of the game?  Did they have noticeable quirks that made them unique?)

Spoiler

Chapter 1 focuses almost fully on Susie and her progression as a person throughout the chapter.  Well, that's not entirely accurate, since it's just a softer side of her that she allows to show after time.  To be honest, I didn't really like Susie much at first.  I think there are better ways to put on a tough guy facade than to eat chalk.  You could also argue Lancer has some character progression, but I don't think he's actually learned anything.  Personally I suspect that an eventual return to the dark world will see Lancer more mature and potentially antagonistic toward Kris, but for now I think from beginning to end he's just a spoiled kid with a bit of a moral compass who also likes to have fun.

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Reward Factor: 5/7 (Did getting through a certain part of the game feel rewarding?  Was the game difficult enough to enjoy a challenge?)

Spoiler

The king was... pretty hard.  I died to him the first time and took a break, but when I came back it was a bit easier for me and I was able to beat him.  I wouldn't say getting through certain parts of the game felt rewarding, but there was definitely a visceral relief as I made it back to the over world.  Exploring the overworld itself was pretty fun, and reminded me much more of EarthBound than Undertale ever did.  In fact, I would enjoy the game much more if it allowed for more over world movement in the future.  In that vein it's similar to Night in the Woods, where exploration is tied to character interaction and there's a bit less physical exploration.

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Art: 1/7 (Does the art style do a good job of getting the overall vibes of the game across?  Is the art visually appealing?  Does the art match the particular mood of the game at its current time?)

Spoiler

No.  Everything looks blended together in MS Paint.  Look, I'm not saying I could do better, cause I can't.  I'm saying that you could definitely make the art in this game look more palatable to the eye.  Sure, he's got this signature style or whatever, but if your signature style is ugly I think you should find a better one.  As far as art promoting environment, I don't think that was very effective either.  Sure you have this games cabinet them going on but it's pretty arbitrary up until the end.  At which point it's just confusing.

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Music: 6/7 (Does the music evoke certain emotions that are being portrayed in game?  Does the music match up well with the art?  Does the music have a tone unique to this particular area?)

Spoiler

OH THANK HEAVENS.  It's SOOOO much better than Undertale.  There were several pieces where I found myself jamming along despite myself.  The pieces that I don't find enjoyable still service their environment- shoutout to Lancer's theme, for really getting the point across that he's a lil dillweed.  The battle theme was... a short battle theme... but fortunately the time spent battling was relatively short, so that's "less of the bad stuff", as far as RPGs go.

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Gameplay: 2/7 (Are the controls easy to learn but capable of multiple processes?  Is the interaction with the environment logical and natural?  Are the different areas of the game well constructed and thought out?)

Spoiler

I would say this is where my major complaints with the game come in.  DELTARUNE carries the "don't kill anyone" schtick over from Undertale, though I'm told it doesn't matter whether or not you kill/spare everyone, which is definitely a mark up from that.  The game takes the time to set up this overly complex battle system (similar to how they made chrono trigger's battle system needlessly complex) and you're constantly told not to use any of it- sparing enemies is simple and repetitive, and while I'm glad they have overworld sprite representations, I really wish they didn't respawn on map change if they aren't going to give you any actual XP.  Deltarune desperately needs a level up system, something to make the harder fights a little bit easier if you're willing to put in the effort.  Leveling up can be (and often is) done wrong, but it can have a purpose to allow people to progress through the game regardless of skill.  Skilled bullet heck players will be able to move through the game faster than someone who needs to sit and grind a few enemies on repeat for an hour or so, but then everyone gets the opportunity to finish the game.

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Overall: 23/42

Overall, Deltarune gets an average score.  It does some things well, but it does some things poorly, and that averages out to a game that can be enjoyed by people looking for one thing and hated by people interested in something else.  It's also full of signature Toby Fox witticism and humor, which is also polarizing in my opinion.  The best thing I can say about it is that it's a much more enjoyable and bearable game than Undertale, and I'm considering purchasing future Chapters on Nintendo Switch.  As a bonus (and totally not a self-plug), here:
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/388035206
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/388191843

My full deltarune experience is recorded within these two videos, sandwiched between a terrible Super Mario Odyssey speedrun and some mediocre splatoon gameplay.

I guess this is technically a review of my review

It Has Come To My Attention recently that well gee not all games have stories so I can't exactly give Tetris 99 a fair score knowing full well that a non-story-driven game can still be great  (like vanilla tetris, as opposed to Tetris 99, which is Not Great).

This came about as I shared my undertale review with a few people during a discussion about some of our favorite story moments in video games.  I also learned that my unique 7 point scale is not unique.  In the interest of critical integrity I must find a solution to the clear blind spots my current review system has.  I could simply give a game a default 4/7 in categories that don't exist for it; I could also simply strip the category away from its aggregate score.

Neither of these bandaid solutions are fair or honest.  I haven't fully decided what I'm going to do, but I'm looking towards Wolf's freeform reviews as a blueprint and may end up with a larger dual-natured review system to accomplish multiple goals I have in mind for my reviews.

This was longer than any of my reviews kappa lul pogchamp

Size equals twenty-four point DARK SOULS slash size
Unfunny Subtitle

Spoiler equals summary

The Dark Souls community is actually a singular massive circlejerk that enjoys pretending their mediocre game is somehow the definitive most challenging game of all time and the pinnacle of rewarding mastery.

Try jumping.

Slash spoiler

Is this the dark souls of game reviews?

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on April 26, 2019, 07:21:45 AMIs this the dark souls of game reviews?

absolutely

DARK SOULS: REMASTERED
Not Sure Why I Caps-Locked the Title

Spoiler-free summary:

Dark Souls is worth playing.  As far as I can tell, the remaster sure doesn't feel like a remaster and most Dark Souls fans agree, I think.  The only thing the remaster really does is upgrade the graphics and let you play Dark Souls on the best console.  It's also got DLC in it somewhere but somehow I missed all that completely.  Anyway, I think we can all agree that Dark Souls' reputation for being a difficult game precedes it.  I'm here to tell you that it is not a difficult game at all.  I may not be a credible source on many things, but if Mikey says a game ain't hard, that game probably ain't hard.  That being said, Dark Souls does suffer from high complexity in ways that I personally feel inflates its barrier of entry.  While playing, there were many facets of the game that I outright ignored because I had no way of understanding how it worked (sorcery and pyromancy, for example), there are many items that don't give you nearly enough context as to what they do, and as far as I can tell there is no way of knowing what each number in the menus actually means, and Dark Souls is enough of a stat based game for it to negatively affect gameplay.

For me, one of the reasons Dark Souls got me to keep playing is the visuals.  I've never seen a game with such beautiful locations.  The aesthetic of each unique area is on par with Zelda games (!) and the areas that I really liked I wanted to fully explore, whereas the areas I hated I really hated.  We'll mark that down as a good thing.  Exploring these areas was both viscerally satisfying and mechanically rewarding, and overall I think the spread of hidden secrets is well balanced.  By far the most common item you can find is a "Soul of a [adjective] [noun]", which can be tuned to drop a different number of souls depending on which kind you find.  This helps keep items feel rewarding and not too same-y.  On the more artistic spectrum, there are many locations to find that offer less tangible rewards, like a beautiful scenic overlook.

The characters are amazing, the story is... not?  Maybe?  The joke is that you can play through the whole game and not have any understanding of the story whatsoever, which is more or less what happened to me.  Don't worry, still staying spoiler free for now.  I'm told that the story is intentionally obfuscating, so take that as you will, but by and large the story feels extremely detached from the game; that is, progress in one does not have an affect on progress in the other and I didn't really enjoy that concept.  The characters, though... man.  Dark Souls treats NPCs in a weird way- you can find a character in multiple different places throughout the game and kind of "progress their story", or you can ignore them, or you can even kill them!  Killing them grants their armor and weaponry, which is AMAZING, but I have never ever felt so bad about killing NPCs as I have in Dark Souls.  Where Dark Souls fails with story and gameplay compatibility it surely succeeds with character and gameplay compatibility.

The gameplay itself is full of both hits and misses.  The two-handed weapon system allows for a lot of depth while being mechanically intuitive- left trigger controls left hand, right trigger controls right hand.  This allows the devs to up the complexity a bit in order to add depth to the combat, because players will typically be able to understand it swiftly.  Outside of that, the different kinds of attacks that can be performed outside of weak attack/strong attack feel a bit shoehorned and are rather difficult for new players to pull off consistently, requiring you to kind of "flick" the joystick in a direction, like dashing in Smash bros, but infinitely more finicky.  Despite that, the combat still remains a highlight of Dark Souls in my mind, largely due to the depth as well as the variety in enemies.  I think the two-handed system had one mistake in implementation- you can't be left handed.  If you put a shield in your right hand and a weapon in your left, the shield is used to attack...  Handedness could actually be extremely relevant in a game like Dark Souls, since I find certain attacks start punishing you for favoring rolling in the same direction every time.  The dark side of the gameplay is entirely localized within the sequences of the game that play like a platformer.  Each area between bonfires is the "level", and when your goal is to get from point A to point B, you start developing a path through the "level" that factors in enemy placement, etc. and ends up being rewarding, but is also just... not good?  The platformer-esque sequences are by far the hardest part of Dark Souls and it's not because they're difficult, it's because they're full of bullcrap.  There's no way to go deeper into that without spoiling anything.

The boss battles were extremely varied, which itself is likely a good thing, but the boss fights were all extremely hit or miss.  Some of the fights were just intentionally diabolical and unfair, whereas some of them felt fair and, while challenging, not impossible.  Oh, and some of them were just easy :^).  If you are wondering what I mean by "fair" and "unfair", there were certain points while fighting bosses in which I would die and I simply couldn't tell how it was my fault or if there was any way for me to not die there.  In contrast, some fair fights left me feeling more confident I could win every time I died, because I knew exactly how to avoid the attack for the next time.  While a significant majority of boss battles simply rely on you hitting the boss anywhere enough times, a small handful of them feel like "organic Zelda bosses", which is how I am describing them right now, but I will go more into depth on that when I enable spoilers.

Overall, had I reviewed Dark Souls with my old grading system, it would surely get an average aggregate score, but certain facets of it, such as the visuals, the combat, the bosses, and the characters, would be home runs and the game would really be held back by its negative aspects, like the complexity/barrier of entry issue, the platforming, and story opacity.  Despite being an "average game", the things it does well are worth experiencing, and if you are even mildly interested in experiencing Dark Souls, I highly recommend picking it up for any price.

Pokemon S
The Joke Is That Things Are Missing

I spent the better half of a quarter hour (and that's a lot of words, so you know it was a long time) trying to come up with the perfect metaphor to explain Sword and Shield to the average gamer.  It's... not worth the time it takes.  Coming up with a metaphor that is, not the game itself, which absolutely has to be clarified.  Look out!  There's a runaway Segue!  The first thing I think should be pointed out is that Pokemon Sword and Shield are structured pretty neatly into three parts in Gyms 1-3, 4-7, and 8; sort of a three act play:

• Part the First: In Which You Receive Your Starter and Embark on a Most Perilous Journey (Exposition)
• Part the Second: In Which Hop Becomes a Floppy Pig Skin (Rising Action)
• Part the Third: In Which Rose Becomes a Floppy Pig Skin (Climax, Conclusion)

When you point out this structure, it reframes the story in a way that focuses on characters and relationships, primarily Leon and Hop, Sonia and Leon, and Bede and Rose.  I'm glad I didn't jump to my computer to write a review immediately after completing the game, because A) the postgame changes the texture of the story in a relevant way, and B) giving me time to chew on the game and talk to others made me stop and think about the things that I was previously taking for granted.

During my playthrough, one of my loudest complaints was directed at the clear lack of a story.  And I don't mean to say there was no story, but rather that the kind of story I find compelling seemed to be happening to Sonia and Leon, not the protagonist.  Whenever Sonia did appear, nothing she even had to say was nearly as intriguing as I think it ought to have been.  Its presentation is almost that of a Mystery Dungeon story, where the character is presented with this strange concept about themselves that drives much of the early game story.  The presentation is there, but the depth isn't.  Naturally, my complaints were alleviated to an extent by the untimely appearance of dad bod Rose and the Rampaging Legendary.  My mistake was thinking that this was the story in play.  It wasn't.

Pokemon Sword and Shield's story is driven by the characters- Hop, Bede, Marnie, the gym leaders, Leon, Sonia...  There's a reason the game has no Elite Four- it's focusing on the characters that they've already presented.  With that in mind, there are still some criticisms.  First, the gym leaders have so little dialogue that without reading the League Cards they give you it's hard to know they have a personality at all.  The game's script, and to an ironic extent the focus on Gym Challenges themselves prevent the characters from interacting with the player in a way that gives them any sort of depth.  On the other hand, the script spends a remarkable amount of time devoted to Hop and the two new Gym Leaders.  Bede's initial portrayal is that of a stereotypical holier-than-thou rival who thinks you aren't worth his time.  Throughout the second act, the rising action, Bede as a character is given more depth when it becomes apparent that his hunt for the Wishing Stars was encouraged by Oleana, unbeknownst to Rose.  From Bede's perspective, then, Oleana destroyed any chance he had at achieving his dreams- Bede is an orphan, essentially raised by Rose.  He owes everything to Rose.  It's a surprising amount of depth dedicated to a character trope usually not invested in.  Bede's character arc is resolved by another parental figure replacing Rose, with Bede becoming the Fairy-type Gym Leader and allegedly mellowing out a bit.

To Hop, his entire world flips upside down after his loss to Bede.  To him, it's not about winning or losing- it's about his big brother's reputation.  His entire motivation in the first two acts is centered around the desire to uphold that reputation.  As soon as he fails to do so, he stops battling out of fear.  It's a relatable emotion and even situation that Hop experiences.  He starts grasping at straws trying to find footing, challenging you with all sorts of different gimmicks and team rosters in a haphazard style.  By the end, he realizes that it's better for him to stick to his guns and re-establishes his precious Wooloo (now Dubwool) as a cornerstone of his team.

Meanwhile, Sonia gets to have all the fun exploring the hero of Galar, The Darkest Day, and Dynamaxing, which all has potential as a storyline, but for some reason you're hardly involved in this parallel story.  Instead, Sonia's (and Leon's) path just intertwines with yours every so often.  Enough for her to give you some nugget of knowledge that kind of just seems self-explanatory.  It never feels like Sonia has anything important to say.  Near the end of the second act, when Leon and Sonia apparently become aware that Rose is attempting to harness Eternatus' power, you get turned aside to complete your Gym Challenge while Leon and Sonia handle it.  I think pretty much everyone would prefer helping them out to battling another gym.

Surprise!  Rose, the wealthy industrialist CEO of Corporation Incorporated is the villain!  His goal?  To avert the impending energy crisis about to hit Galar in a mere 1,000 years.  Currently, energy is nonrenewable, but I guess if you harvest a Pokemon's energy it's okay.  For the future, right?  This storyline has more ham than my mom's freezer after grocery day.  Watching everything spiral out of control during the second act while being told to continue on with your Gym Challenge was no doubt my least favorite part of the game.  Things Are Happening, and you aren't a part of it.  I don't think there's any point in griping about how mediocre all this is, because it's blatantly mediocre, and I was just happy it showed up.  I'm a kid like that.

Story problems aside, Galar's world-building is top notch.  The Gym Challenge is embedded in every fiber of the region, much like it is the story.  Taking several cues from the popularity of soccer in England, the Gym stadiums are modeled after soccer pitches (I know I always made a connection with the ring in the center as a kid), and during the opening ceremony and the Gym Leader battles, the stadiums are packed with a crowd that almost feels real- they even start chanting when the Gym Leader is down to their last Pokemon.  You could even argue that stressing this importance is the reasoning behind the player being forced to continue with the Gym Challenge rather than help investigate the Dynamax occurrences (...aside from the fact that you do exactly that as part of the postgame...).  Speaking of postgame, I feel that it would have served the game as a whole much better if it were to occur during the midgame that I felt was relatively dry.  Since the story is focusing on things around the player rather than the player themselves all you're really left with is a stint of gameplay that gets pretty repetitive- go to new town, fight Gym, battle Hop, go to new town, fight Gym, battle Hop, etc.  And to be fair to the Gyms, the missions inside are fun and impressive, without being frustrating or too difficult.

As well-built of a world Galar is, I would be remiss not to mention the Wild Area- a massive plot of land sprawling underneath the routes you travel on during your adventure.  To someone who finds appeal in the very act of obtaining Pokemon, the Wild Area, complete with its unpredictable weather, constant rare spawns, and of course max raid dens, is a paradise.  It also serves as quality postgame content- being able to challenge 5 star raids in the hopes of a Hidden Ability and stronger Pokemon to build a team and take on friends, strangers, and the Battle Tower alike.  The Wild Area successfully delivers on the concept of The World of Pokemon- simply having models appearing in the overworld is a wonder.

Where Sword and Shield are lacking, however, is the polish.  As great as the Wild Area is, performance issues such as frame drops and Pokemon AI acting strange are all too common.  While the game adds many more unique animations, some animations look strange in context, and there are some instances in battle where I think including an already-existing animation would overall make the moves look smoother.  Inteleon using Surf comes to mind- I think it would look a lot better if it were to play the enters-the-battlefield animation rather than simply hopping up over the wave.  A cutscene close to the endgame isn't even animated.  A weird motion-blur effect persists throughout the Wild Area, leaving everything fuzzy.  The Rotom Bike controls are awkward and feel too bound-by-realism.  A mouse can briefly be seen during the credits.  Even small issues like this will break immersion and leave a negative impact on the player.  The overall quality of the game suffers from what seems to be scheduling issues and a concentrated effort to find small optimizations and time-saves to keep the game's release on pace.

As far as gameplay is concerned, Pokemon of course utilizes 1-on-1 (or 2-on-2 in some instances) turn-based gameplay that I think keeps it more engaging than traditional RPGs.  You aren't cycling through each phase with so many combat options- it boils down the gameplay to its simplest concept and I appreciate that.  The gimmick mechanic of Dynamaxing is novel, but wears its welcome far too quickly.  It does present a notable challenge when each Gym Leader has their own Dynamax Pokemon, but having the mechanic available for any Pokemon makes it feel bland and uninteresting, even when limited to specific battles.  Traveling the overworld is far less cumbersome without random encounters along the way, and I found that catching wild Pokemon was a struggle due to them keeping up with my party's level, often needing to camp out when possible and sometimes even blacking out just because of how hard to catch some Pokemon were.  On the other hand, Trainer Pokemon were lower level than the wild Pokemon and just existed to keep my team above the level of the wild Pokemon.  The Gym Battles, too, were a notably lower level than my team, but still presented a challenge when I didn't have a clear type advantage.

Overall I still can't quite find the words to explain what Sword and Shield does.  They have a clearly idealized concept, and they executed on it well enough for the game to be... fine, I guess?  I specifically avoided making any direct comparisons to older games throughout this review.  It's hard to look at previous games that are so lauded and then come back and make comparisons to see that well-received concepts are eschewed in favor of something new.  I find myself coming back to previous games, even with their individual downfalls.  The final removal of HM moves doesn't sit well with me, despite the constant complaints of their existence.  It's cool that Game Freak is experimenting, and Sword and Shield, as an experiment, serve a purpose, but when people want more of the same, I think it's better to deliver on that expectation.  As a game it's completely middle of the road- it's not iconic or genre-defining in any way, but it's still a worthwhile purchase for most fans of the IP.  As a Pokemon entry, I can only hope it's just a way for Game Freak to test the waters for an upcoming release, but I fully expect that Game Freak just fails to deliver the magic of past entries that we grew up with.

Basically how I feel—storyline was lame fluff except for the really pretty great arcs for Hop and a Bede, and to some extent Marnie and Sonia. The story was really short, even though I took my time to explore everything and didn't rush. But I don't know if that's a huge deal.

The thing that's more infuriating was not being able to turn off the Exp. being distributed to all party members. I know that people like playing that way, and that's fine, but the only thing that made that new Exp. Share mechanic work was the option to not use it. Even doing my best not to grind or catch too many Pokémon (which I already shouldn't have to do), I was grossly overleveled by the end and 1HKO all of Leon's Pokémon, and even Hop's in the postgame final fight.

But hey, at least the new Pokémon are really cool and quirky for the most part. I'm not a big fan of the early/less memorable ones like the Rookidee, Yamper, and Nickit lines, but aside from that basically every new Pokémon was interesting, quirky, and extremely charming. I ended up swapping my team members LOADS of times just because I kept finding new ones I just HAD to put on my team.

I actually blacked out to Leon my first try- his level spread was pretty comparable to mine.  I thought I caught a lot of pokemon but you must have caught even more if you were that overleveled.

With the new exp share system I'm wondering if they should really turn down the exp from catching Pokemon or even remove it altogether.  That way they can set a baseline of how muc exp is actually given out by trainers and how much people need to grind if they want levels to match.