Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Rhythm Heaven Fever
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Shrimp Shuffle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: WaluigiTime64 (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4771)
[attachment deleted by admin]
A fun, simple one. Did some bullshitting somewhere though, as the original transcription ruined the tonality a bit.
Bump.
I think the bassline doesn't capture the oomph of the original. If you're ok with that, it's your arrangement.
However, I think it might be better if it was something like this:
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/sNf8VtD.png)
What do you think?
Quote from: Maelstrom on March 17, 2018, 12:17:55 PMI think the bassline doesn't capture the oomph of the original. If you're ok with that, it's your arrangement.
That's fair enough I guess.
Quote from: Maelstrom on March 17, 2018, 12:17:55 PMHowever, I think it might be better if it was something like this:
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/sNf8VtD.png)
Ah M.9-16. With that section (and the similar one at the end), I intentionally made it less loud and bouncy taking the whole piece into consideration. Without it, there's not enough of the contrast present in the original imo.
I still had a listen to what you offered regardless, but it seems awfully difficult, and there's too much clutter in the bass (just a personal thing, other people quite like that). Typically I wouldn't pair mezzoforte with staccato'd 4-note chords in the bass.
Thanks for the suggestion anyway.
Fair enough.
Bump I guess.
Bump again, I suppose.
I've fully checked the song, and aside from my gripes about the bassline in that part, I only found one issue: you put staccato marks on dotted notes. Yes, it may make the sheet cleaner, but those are two additions to the note that affect each other in opposite ways. What good does a dot do when its goal is to lengthen the note, but the staccato's job is to shorten it? Try writing them as something else with rests also thrown in.
@waluigi: If you'd like to go ahead and respond to Mael's comment, I think we'll be finished here.
Bump for Waluigi.
Quote from: Sebastian on May 08, 2018, 10:48:31 AM@waluigi: If you'd like to go ahead and respond to Mael's comment, I think we'll be finished here.
Very sorry for the extremely late reply, but I won't have enough free time for this until Friday afternoon, and I need a decent amount of time to work with the feedback without it looking horrendous (to my eyes, anyway).
No prob. Take your time.
I'm not a huge fan of how it looks now, and I'm still not really convinced by the staccato-dotted-note argument, but it's updated with the suggestion regardless.
Just so you know, the notes can still be quarters with staccatos. Or 8ths with staccatos. The main point is that staccatos and dotted notes don't mix. I had a good 30 minute discussion about this a while back and I can point you to some people who can discuss it better than I can if you want. (mainly latios and olimar)
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 01, 2018, 09:25:56 AMJust so you know, the notes can still be quarters with staccatos. Or 8ths with staccatos. The main point is that staccatos and dotted notes don't mix. I had a good 30 minute discussion about this a while back and I can point you to some people who can discuss it better than I can if you want. (mainly latios and olimar)
Actually, to the contrary, I see no issue with having staccato markings on dotted notes. Note lengths =/= articulation. Likewise, a staccato dotted quarter note isn't the same as a quarter note and an eighth rest. I haven't looked at the sheet yet, so I don't know which would be more appropriate here, I just stopped by do say that.
Quote from: Olimar12345 on June 01, 2018, 09:49:33 AMNote lengths =/= articulation. Likewise, a staccato dotted quarter note isn't the same as a quarter note and an eighth rest.
I've always thought this too.
For reference, here (https://www.dropbox.com/s/nptgfmeh35das5b/Shrimp%20Shuffle%20%28Dots%29.mus?dl=1) is the sheet with the dotted notes + staccatos.
Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on June 01, 2018, 02:56:21 PMI've always thought this too.
I agree with this as well.
While I'm really not a fan of notes that are both augmented and staccato'd in general because I personally find them ambiguous (and unsightly), I think they're alright to use in compound time when the time unit of the beat is a dotted note, to keep things simple in a similar vein to how you'd write staccato'd quarters in 4/4. I'd say it's alright to change it back if you like.
As a side note, using an eighth note + quarter rest for one beat looks somewhat confusing, since a series of alternating quarter rests and eighth notes may be easy to confuse with a pattern of quarter rest + eighth note on each beat. A figure like this one would be better written as a staccato'd quarter + eighth rest, or eighth note + two eighth rests.
What's so ambiguous? It's just telling the performer to detach the note from the next note with a slight lift; staccatos don't alter the note length by changing it to the next value down or something. Would you find a eighth note with a tenuto mark odd in the same way? (Oh shouldn't!)
And quarter notes followed by eighth rests are not unusual to triple meter in the slightest. Look up any march in 6/8. Hell, you might even find examples of both in the same piece!
Quote from: Olimar12345 on June 02, 2018, 11:57:47 AMAnd quarter notes followed by eighth rests are not unusual to triple meter in the slightest. Look up any march in 6/8. Hell, you might even find examples of both in the same piece!
Quarter notes followed by eighth rests aren't unusual but eighth notes followed by quarter rests are
Quote from: mastersuperfan on June 02, 2018, 12:23:49 PMQuarter notes followed by eighth rests aren't unusual but eighth notes followed by quarter rests are
Oh I misread that. Yes, they should be broken down into eighth rests
welp this was good for reaffirming my knowledge
I've always thought that dotted notes with staccatos were acceptable in compound time specifically. I would not put that in a simple time piece. Latios just actually bothered to explain it fully (thanks man!). I was struggling quite a bit trying to explain my own thoughts in my head, that I never posted about it, hehe.
Also because I find both the 8th + quarter rest, and the quarter + 8th rest set up confusing (I tried both, and they're definitely not appropriate for this piece, especially if you know the minigame), I'm just going to avoid it altogether, and so the files are updated as how they originally were.
i approv
A few last quick things from me.
- What do you think of the LH part going from m. 10 to m. 11 (and similar places)? The low notes want to resolve to the D above the C#, but it jumps up.
- Copyright info is quite close to the bottom of the page.
- Staccato on wrong side of note in m. 20
- Would suggest removing the lower F# at the beginning of m. 32.
- Not really a fan of the gliss at the end of m. 32, but here it's pretty simple to interpret what to do so it's alright I guess.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 02, 2018, 05:19:30 PM- What do you think of the LH part going from m. 10 to m. 11 (and similar places)? The low notes want to resolve to the D above the C#, but it jumps up.
This is a very good point, but I'm not quite sure what to do with it myself. Adding the lower D without removing the higher one make it difficult to play, while removing the top D screws up the other three notes, and moving them all down sounds a bit too bassy for my liking.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 02, 2018, 05:19:30 PM- Copyright info is quite close to the bottom of the page.
Are you sure? I've had the copyright text moved up a bit like that in another sheet but I was told to lower it down to where it is about now. (Doesn't seem very close on the pdf either...)
Quote from: Latios212 on June 02, 2018, 05:19:30 PM- Staccato on wrong side of note in m. 20
- Would suggest removing the lower F# at the beginning of m. 32.
Oops, and good idea. Thanks.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 02, 2018, 05:19:30 PM- Not really a fan of the gliss at the end of m. 32, but here it's pretty simple to interpret what to do so it's alright I guess.
It's a bit weird, yeah.
Fixed with those edits.
Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on June 02, 2018, 05:48:02 PMThis is a very good point, but I'm not quite sure what to do with it myself. Adding the lower D without removing the higher one make it difficult to play, while removing the top D screws up the other three notes, and moving them all down sounds a bit too bassy for my liking.
Just wanted to raise a concern, I don't think it's a super critical thing to change. Would like to have someone else ok it first though.
Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on June 02, 2018, 05:48:02 PMAre you sure? I've had the copyright text moved up a bit like that in another sheet but I was told to lower it down to where it is about now. (Doesn't seem very close on the pdf either...)
This is a regional thing. Some (most? all?) non-US regions use a different paper size or margins when exporting. So it looks fine in your PDF, but it looks narrow in my Finale and if I export it. Ben can speak to this better than I can, since he actually deals with that for work. Anyway, it's fine for now. We might want to have a discussion about this at a later time, though.
I believe that works the best.
Great work, all.
This submission has been accepted by Sebastian (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3424).
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