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Messages - Libera

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I think I can hear what you're talking about listening again.  I still hear the other stuff as well but this is fine and works perfectly well.

Will accept!

We had a little chat about the note on discord (decided on making the sixteenth notes small), but now that's done I shall accept!

Submissions / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Pandora Palace" by Bloop
« on: December 07, 2022, 11:43:15 PM »
Some things I noticed:

-Lots of missing notes in the opening few bars for the harpsichord.  Intentional?
-Why drop the snare hits on beat 2 in bars 27+, like you had in the opening.  It makes that section suddenly lose a lot of energy.
-Is this loop correct?  I can't tell from the youtube link.

Changes look great, apart from I don't hear those notes for the bass in bar 9.  It sounds to me like it continues the E-Fn alternating pattern and also has some E - G# stuff happening more irregularly above it...

Cool, will approve.

Wouldn't that also hold the Bb in the L.H. or cause a break there?

Yeah you might have to come off early on the LH.  Not a big deal, personally.  I think I trust the pianist to work out how they'd like to do it!

Also, just noticed the last two quarter rests in the L.H. of m41 should be a half rest, but aside from that it looks good!

Oh no.  Fixed.

-m3 and similar - I hear all these chords as D+G+A. This also applies everywhere this chord pattern is used (sorry) I don't agree with this.  The Bs at the top are pretty clear to me, and nearly all of these chords have Ds anyway from the LH.  I think the voicing of the chord does change but from this arrangements perspective it doesn't see it.  The left hand changing covers pretty much everything I think.
-m10-m22 - I don't hear the half notes held to the b3.5 of all those measures. If you want that there for clarity, it's fine. Can't decide if it looks cleaner with or without. Yeah it's just for ease and clarity.  I think it looks a lot better this way with the RH connected up, otherwise the rests become messy.
-m32 - I kinda liked the resolution here where the G in m31goes up to an A. I don't think much would be lost if you add that and remove the low D#, personally. Hmm, I really feel like the D# -> E is important because that's what then leads into the next phrase.  I think that takes priority over the resolution you're talking about, which kind of just fades into the background for me.

-m28 b4.5 - I hear an E3 here following the C#
-m29 b3.5 - I hear a Eb here following the B. Granted, its kinda faint, but so is everything else here.

Added both of these, and also a similar left hand note in bar 30 and an additional one I spotted in bar 28.  In my first draft of this arrangement I actually just had held notes in the left hand because I missed these piano runs completely, that's how faint they are haha.

Thanks for the checks both of you.  Files updated!

The notes look fine to me, but I have some concerns from an arrangement perspective.

-I think you've tried to combine too much to make the LH pattern.  It's confusing to read, play, and to listen to.  Honestly, I would just remove the low Es on beats 2.5, 4.5 etc. because I don't think they really add anything other than confusion.
-To me, the bass part of a piece is its bedrock, and so missing it out is always a risky arrangement choice.  Bars 8-9 have a markedly different feel to them than the original because the driving ostinato pattern suddenly disappears.  You could at least still include it in bar 9, after playing the chord on beat 1.
-Separately, have you considered a system distribution of 3-3-3-2 instead?  Or maybe 3-3-2-3, depending on what you do with bar 9.  I think it looks a lot more even, personally.

Got confused and checked this thinking it had already been approved, but since I've done it I'll post my feedback anyway.

-I hear the top note of bar 25 beat 1.5 more as an Eb than a G, so with that chord inverted down once.
-Since you're missing out a lot of the piano anyway in bar 26 I would have thought it would be more consistent to stick to a C Eb An on beat 3.5, like on beat 2 and 4.5.
-I'm really not a fan out the slurred grace note into slurred eighths in bar 22; it looks very messy.  I would suggest either turning that all into one slur, or differentiating the two slurs, maybe flip the first one up.

Otherwise it looks fine.

Looks great!

Generally this looks pretty good, just a few small things from me.

-I actually feel like the rhythm for the RH of bar 18 should just be like the other bars, with the D coming in slightly early on beat 2.5 of the bar (a quarter earlier).
-Not a requirement, but I might put a double barline at the double time.

The 8va should actually also say "8vb", but that isn't editable in notepad.

Not really an issue, but just for future reference: 8vb is a totally modern invention.  8va written below the staff means play an octave lower, written above means play an octave higher, so how this was presumably written before I got here was probably perfectly fine.  Some people prefer 8vb for whatever reason, but I don't use it in my sheets.

Oh, that. Yeah I hear a low E2 being emphasized on bar 23 specifically, which is why it's notated as such. Which also lines up with how m21 has a C2 and m22 has a D2.

It's not what I would do, but I think this sheet has had enough back and forth as it is.  If that's how you hear it, sure.

I will accept.

-They aren't? The repeated motif of C - G - B - G is always designated as the 2nd layer throughout m21-m28.

No, I mean the voicing of the chord.  In bar 21 it's voiced C E G C, then in 23 E G C E, then in 25 G C E G.  There's no change in the voicing in the original that I can hear, and it's weird with the position of the chord jumping around compared to the chord in 22/24/26.  Just stick with C E G C like in 21, unless there's something that I'm missing.

-Mainly to distinguish the melody with the strings (and also it was written with the melody first and the strings as a edit way later).

I see you've manually positioned this chord rather than just write it all in one layer, but you've moved it slightly too far to the left.  Just write it in one layer and it'll be perfect.


Otherwise the edits look good.  Maybe the middle ties could be cleaned up in bar 39 though; just move the second highest up a little.

-It sounds to me like the bass plays an Eb on beat 4.5 in bar 22.
-Could we have the 8va in bar 25 start a little more over to the left, like the positioning for bars 12/20.  The 8va in 37 could also come a little away from the slur.
-I hear the bass play two Gs on beat 4 of bar 40, i.e. on beat 4.5 as well.
-The bass in bar 54 sounds like it plays two Fs on beats 1.5 and 2, so I think it'd be better for the left hand hand to have an F at the bottom rather than an Eb.
-I think the sixteenth notes are on the 'very hard' side to play of things so I think personally I'd prefer if they were more explicitly optional.

Otherwise this looks pretty solid to me. 

Bump for arranger.  You still around to respond on this?

Alright, just updated the submission title.  Will now accept!

It was also pointed out to me that the sheet was missing a dynamic marking, so I used my judgement to add a single mp marking at the beginning.  I hope that is ok with you!  You can PM me if otherwise.

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