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Messages - Bloop

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 141
Submission Archive / Re: [N64] Yoshi's Story - "On the Beach" by Bloop
« on: November 04, 2019, 03:44:32 PM »

- m. 10/12/18/similar: I'm hearing beat 2 of the LH restrike the E-B dyad instead of playing C? Is this a stylistic choice? (If so, fine by me)
Yeah, I think the restriked dyad wouldn't get the point across as much, as it's probably intended as a dead note anyway.

Submission Archive / Re: [N64] Yoshi's Story - "Hard Times" by Bloop
« on: October 30, 2019, 02:29:15 PM »

Submission Archive / Re: [N64] Yoshi's Story - "On the Beach" by Bloop
« on: October 23, 2019, 12:31:11 PM »
j a z z

Submission Archive / Re: [N64] Yoshi's Story - "Hard Times" by Bloop
« on: October 23, 2019, 11:12:21 AM »
oh yeah

I actually kinda liked the two key signatures, but I guess it could be pretty hard to read. I changed it to keyless, and fixed the other things ^^

Submission Archive / Re: [N64] Yoshi's Story - "Hard Times" by Bloop
« on: September 06, 2019, 03:53:53 PM »
Did you expect a polytonal piece to appear in a Yoshi game? Yeah, me neither


I meant removing the parentheses, not the natural! The natural is important :P
oops misread it

These still need to be updated.
oops probably undid it

I do think that including it only on the top three notes (beats 2/3/4) would give it a good amount of punch without overdoing it or making it difficult. Up to you, though.
Ah yeah, that sounds pretty good actually. Done that ^^

Last things from me: the lower eighth rest in m. 24 is a notch too low. And just something to consider, but perhaps flipping the last note in m. 13 RH to imply it leads into the upper layer in the next measure.

(man, these Yoshis must be high on something...)
- Needs a dynamic
- Up to you, but I'd just remove the parentheses around the natural at the beginning of m. 7.
- m. 12, I'd suggest writing the chords differently than m. 5. The harmonies are a lot more subtle and the melody emphasizes the C instead.
- m. 16 beat 1 should be G instead of F#.
- Watch where the slurs end (on the staccatos) in m. 18-19.
- Move the first eighth rest in m. 20 up a notch so it's not right on top of the lower layer.
- Flip the slur downwards between m. 23-24.
- Missing the end quotation marks in the title, and the https in the URL.
- Also, I'd recommend moving the systems together a bit on pages 2-3 so that you can lower them down from the header a bit more. (And lower the slurs on the last page accordingly.)

- Any reason why the chromatic run doesn't continue in m. 8 beat 1?
I believe the cut-off point would be a bit too sudden if it stopped suddenly a quarter note later. Ending after two bars seems like a clear division between the first and second two bars. Also, the timing of that chromatic is quite weird because of the 15 over 8 polyrhythm, so it would be quite hard to notate that for another quarter note.

- m. 24's top layer is a bit more weird this time. Maybe write in the minor second intervals?
I don't really like how that sounds, as the weirdness is not as subtle in a piano arrangement. It'd also be quite hard to play, especially the quick octave jump on the 2nd beat. I think the fact that it's an octave higher than the original theme makes the difference between them clear enough

Also, wow that's a nice throwback to SMW2's Flower Garden in m. 28-31! I'm surprised to see it since there doesn't seem to be much cross-referencing between the games, at least that I know of.
I actually never noticed that, I figured it was a reference to something but I didn't know what it was. Now I'll never unhear it lol

Second try ^^

I'll probably be submitting all the never-seen-before Yoshi's Story arrangements I made this year so uh get hyped?



yay ive got people backing me up

I fixed this:
I still don't think the line in bar 19 is necessary; the slur makes it clear that the voice passes over to the top staff in that way (exactly as it does in bar 17).
and this:
Anyway, the only other comment I have here is that some of the slurs look like they're a little too close to the staccato markings.

I think I prefer the hypermeter this way, because if it's 2 measures per system, all the new melodies start on the 2nd measure of a system instead of the first (for m. 5 until 16 to be exact, which is pretty much just more than half of the piece). I especially like having the 7/4 and 6/4 parts start in a new system, instead of halfway through.
I fixed everything else though!

-I'll be honest, I don't understand the staccatos here at all.  They're on practically every single note and I'm not sure that they actually mean ... anything.  I don't think they will really affect how the performer plays this piece at all and I think that if there is some intended effect by them, it would be better for it to be conveyed by a direction rather than articulation.
The staccatos are there to convey the pointy sound of those synths in the original. I believe they do make a difference, even with pedal, because it changes the attack of the notes compared to a legato or 'normal' attack. They're also there to there as a direct contrast to the tenuto notes (the flowy synth strings). I could notate something like "all notes played staccato except where noted", but that may create doubt on how to play the slurred notes (which are there for direction in the music, btw, not for legato).
If you want an example of how this is used in original (classical) sheet music, it's here in Debussy's Reverie (1:46):

-In the last two systems, I think that we could make things clearer.  A lot of the places where you have voice leading lines they're unnecessary due to the slurring.  The first two slurs there make it entirely clear where the voicing is going and as such the lines become cluttering.  Bar 20 is easily the most confusing, and I think it'd be better with the what's currently in the lower staff to be a lower layer in the top staff and leave the bottom one empty.  That would entirely remove the need for either of the voice leading lines and would make the hand placement less confusing I think.
If you find that confusing, you should've seen the previous version, lol
I agree on the voice leading lines in m. 17-18, I deleted those. I felt like m. 20 was alright as it is, but I moved the the second part of the L.H. in bar 19 up to the R.H., so that voice changes hands earlier, which should make the voice change from L.H. to R.H. in m. 20-21 clearer. I also added a line in m. 21, to better clarify which direction the line in m. 20 is going. I think the lines, in combination with the articulations, should make the voice leadings pretty clear now.

(i fixed the tenuto defying slur btw)

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