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Messages - Bloop

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yay ive got people backing me up

I fixed this:
I still don't think the line in bar 19 is necessary; the slur makes it clear that the voice passes over to the top staff in that way (exactly as it does in bar 17).
and this:
Anyway, the only other comment I have here is that some of the slurs look like they're a little too close to the staccato markings.

I think I prefer the hypermeter this way, because if it's 2 measures per system, all the new melodies start on the 2nd measure of a system instead of the first (for m. 5 until 16 to be exact, which is pretty much just more than half of the piece). I especially like having the 7/4 and 6/4 parts start in a new system, instead of halfway through.
I fixed everything else though!

-I'll be honest, I don't understand the staccatos here at all.  They're on practically every single note and I'm not sure that they actually mean ... anything.  I don't think they will really affect how the performer plays this piece at all and I think that if there is some intended effect by them, it would be better for it to be conveyed by a direction rather than articulation.
The staccatos are there to convey the pointy sound of those synths in the original. I believe they do make a difference, even with pedal, because it changes the attack of the notes compared to a legato or 'normal' attack. They're also there to there as a direct contrast to the tenuto notes (the flowy synth strings). I could notate something like "all notes played staccato except where noted", but that may create doubt on how to play the slurred notes (which are there for direction in the music, btw, not for legato).
If you want an example of how this is used in original (classical) sheet music, it's here in Debussy's Reverie (1:46):

-In the last two systems, I think that we could make things clearer.  A lot of the places where you have voice leading lines they're unnecessary due to the slurring.  The first two slurs there make it entirely clear where the voicing is going and as such the lines become cluttering.  Bar 20 is easily the most confusing, and I think it'd be better with the what's currently in the lower staff to be a lower layer in the top staff and leave the bottom one empty.  That would entirely remove the need for either of the voice leading lines and would make the hand placement less confusing I think.
If you find that confusing, you should've seen the previous version, lol
I agree on the voice leading lines in m. 17-18, I deleted those. I felt like m. 20 was alright as it is, but I moved the the second part of the L.H. in bar 19 up to the R.H., so that voice changes hands earlier, which should make the voice change from L.H. to R.H. in m. 20-21 clearer. I also added a line in m. 21, to better clarify which direction the line in m. 20 is going. I think the lines, in combination with the articulations, should make the voice leadings pretty clear now.

(i fixed the tenuto defying slur btw)

Fixed! This song really makes you question your hearing after a certain time lol

All those lines in measures 17-20 are really confusing. I know that you're trying to point out phrases, but is there a less confusing way to present it?
I reduced the amount of slurs and lines a bit, I think this should be clearer.

oops life took over

Fixed! I think I accidentally left that L.H. in in the first measure.

Nice work! Here's a few things I noticed when listening:

-It looks like you left out a bit of that flute-y melody in m. 3 and 4 (most notably the Eb to F on the 4th beat of m. 3 and 1st beat of m. 4), but I think that could easily be placed in the right hand.
-The grace notes on the second beat in m. 14 and 23 are An-G-F, not F-G-F
-I think the Bb in m. 22 comes in an 8th note earlier
-You forgot the slurs on the grace notes on the 1st and 3rd beat of m. 26
-You could maybe add the F in the second voice at the end in m. 84? (The Db the bar before would probably clash too much with the C you have written in your arrangement)

Hi there! I think grew inactive a bit before you made an account I think (which is a while ago already lol). Fixed the url!


- Measures 13-14 and 17-18 look a bit odd with the staccatos below the notes on beats 1-3 with nothing above them. Not sure if I have a good suggestion here, though
I flipped the articulation markings as in m. 6 and 7, above until there are notes above.

moving articulations sucks lol

Fixed! Added the mf dynamic, as mp probably doesn't describe the intention properly at the end.

It's been a long time since I used Notepad myself lol. I think you should be able to move the tempo marking with the same tool that moves the dynamics. In full Finale, I use the staff tool to edit the abbreviations, but I don't think Notepad has that.

Yeah I wasn't sure if my explanation of m.10 was clear, this was what I meant:

With "too close to the music" I meant that the tempo marking clashes with the first measure. It's alright in the pdf (though a little close for comfort), but in the mus it's against the beam of the first few notes:

And as for the L.H. in m. 11, I'd do something like this:

I put parantheses around the first g to show that the note is played in both hands. I also shortened the melody note by an eighth note, so the second g doesn't clash with the melody

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