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Messages - Radiak488417

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 11
1
I meant to say something when you first submitted it, but incredible work on this you two :)

My only comment is about the phrasing of the melody, in m8 + m10 + m12 I'm not hearing any of the downbeats as staccato, and this applies to all other repeats of this phrase later in the sheet as well (excluding m39-46 and m92-97)

2
Project Archive / Re: Radiak's "Too Hot to Handle" Sheet
« on: August 29, 2023, 01:25:02 AM »
Everything looks great, thanks for the edits  :)

3
Project Archive / Re: Radiak's "Too Hot to Handle" Sheet
« on: August 27, 2023, 07:54:15 PM »
Maybe unrelated to what Bloop intended, but I was gonna comment m. 15 feels like it should be Cb on beat 3.5 similar to m11.
I was pretty unsure about this spot tbh, listening back I think you're right. I don't hear the staccato anymore either.

Also, the crescendo in m. 24 should end before the barline, not on it.
Ah that would be Notepad's fault, didn't catch that.

Unfortunately since you and Bloop saved this with full Finale, all the staccatos are messed up in Notepad, so if you could do both of those edits I'd appreciate it (I don't want to save it as-is).

This is really great, nice work! (You should submit sheets more often...)
Thanks! :D I've got a bunch in the works, I've just been meaning to get full Finale so that I can actually get them somewhat how I want them looking before submissions. Hopefully soon...

4
Project Archive / Re: Radiak's "Too Hot to Handle" Sheet
« on: August 26, 2023, 05:26:42 AM »
-m11 and 15: I think I just hear a Cb on beat 3 instead of Gb.
I assume you meant in the LH, in which case I'm still hearing the Gb.

For the 8va, I definitely went back and forth on whether or not to include it, especially for m9-10/m13-14 since the texture sounds a bit off there with the hands so far apart. I also considered raising the LH an octave for just those measures, since I prefer the lower bass sound in the rest of the sheet, but I'm not sure I like how that sounds either. I think for now I'll just edit the performance direction to make it optional to play an octave below written.

And yeah, if you could grab those ties and hide the 8va I'd appreciate it. Thanks for the feedback!

5
Project Archive / Radiak's "Too Hot to Handle" Sheet
« on: August 15, 2023, 09:38:25 PM »
Yoshi's Woolly World: Wonderful World of Wool 6
Outer Rings 2??
(Yes, this is a lava level theme)

6
  • No officially confirmed composer for this one, but the game's internal music filenames point towards Toru Minegishi being the composer. If you don't feel like going off of those, then you should credit all 3 composers: Mahito Yokota, Toru Minegishi & Yasuaki Iwata.
  • Hearing m1/2 LH a little differently:

    I changed the drum fills (tremolo in m1 and ending 16ths in m2) to Fs since that's the previous bass note.
    -m1-2: I hear some other notes in beat 2 and 3.5 in the L.H., but it's a bit hard to make out. I think it's first F, then D in m1.
    I hear these, but since the bass is also hitting an F on beat 2, I think putting the D on beat 3.5 into the RH might make more sense here to avoid a random extra LH note (hence my omission in the image). Feel free to keep it in the LH if you want though.
  • The main repeating LH pattern in m3-m20 sounds a lot more staccato to me in the original, specifically all of the 5th dyads.
  • I think when Xiao said the melody could use more articulation (correct me if I'm wrong Xiao), they were talking more about notes that should be staccato, as opposed to adding accent marks. Personally, I don't really hear the melody of the original having any especially strong accents besides m1-2 and m24, and all the other places you've added them are already naturally stressed by the meter, so I think you'd probably be fine leaving them out.

7
I don't hear the F# you mentioned though: wasn't sure if you meant R.H. or L.H., but changing either to F# sounds weird to me.
I meant in the LH, the lowest note sounds like an F# to me rather than an E# (F#maj9 chord). Though, like you said, these measures are a total mess to listen to with all the voices and overlapping notes so let's get another opinion lol

8
Parallel 5ths ftw  8)

Notes:
-m9 RH: Beats 3.25+3.5 and 4.25+4.5 should all be moved up a step diatonically.
-m8+m11 RH: I'm hearing a C# on both beat 2 and beat 3. Also, just in m11, I hear a G# on beat 2.5. rip the clean 2 voice RH :'(
-m8+m11 LH: Beat 3 sounds like F# instead of E#.
-m12 LH: Could be an overtone but I think there's a G# on top of layer 2 beat 3.

Formatting:
-I can't exactly tell, but it looks like the numbers in the tempo are either the wrong font or the wrong size?
-The con pedale is pretty cramped between the tie in m1 and the slur in m4, you've got a fair amount of space above the first system so you could move the whole thing up a bit.
-I think the accelerando and ritardando in m4 and m5 might be better placed between the two staves, the accel especially is a bit confusing to read and looks like it belongs to the upper system since it's higher than the con pedale in m1.

9
However, I noticed while listening that the beginning part still has the melody somewhat accented, so I'm wondering if I should add a staccato or a short accent mark?
I feel like writing the first part as 3/4 would mess up the accents by fitting 3 quarter notes per bar, while I can hear there being accents every 2 notes.
Personally, I don't really hear any accents on the main melody at all in the beginning section, it all sounds pretty dynamically neutral to me. The main reasons I suggested 3/4 or 6/4 are:
-The bar is split into 2 groups of 3 in m4 and m6 by the two dotted half notes
-The second voice in m2 has 3 quarter notes, and starts on beat 4
Feel free to leave it as is for now, we can get a second opinion from the next updater :)

These have all been updated.
All looks good, except it looks like you changed m8 and m10 LH beat 1 to Gb instead of Bb?

m18 doesn't have a Bb on beat 3.5, however m19 did and I changed that to Ab.
Whoops, that's totally my bad, I meant m16. In m19 I'm actually still hearing beat 3.5 as a Bb (so basically swap beat 3.5 of m16 and m19 lol).

Don't exactly hear what you mean here?
Here's what I meant:

Like I said before it's hard to hear, but I'm pretty sure it's there.

Everything else looks great to me!

10
(Copying over my feedback from the previous submission thread)

This is one of my favorites from Deltarune, so wistful...

-Personally, I don't think that notating the delay/echo effect in m1-6 as accented dotted notes portrays the original song very accurately on piano, the effect in the original is subtle enough that I think it'd be better left to the performer to decide whether or not to include it.  A performance note saying "optional dotted 8th echo on melody" or something similar would leave the option open for anyone who wants to play it, whereas writing out all the delayed notes doesn't really leave much room for interpretation.  If you do still want to keep it notated literally, though, then the echo in m4 and m6 should be tied dotted notes, like this:


-I think m1-6 would be better written out in 3/4, since the rhythmic structure doesn't really change that much between this section and the rest of the song. If you do want to have a different time signature for this first section though, I think 6/4 would work better than 3/2. 3/2 implies that there are 3 strong beats per measure, but I hear there being 2 strong beats per measure because of the two dotted half notes in m4 and m8 LH. That's assuming you don't want to do 3/4, which I still think would be the simplest option.
-In m2, RH beat 4-5 and LH beat 6 all sound like they're part of a separate voice from the main melody; in order to show this more clearly you could either move RH beat 4-5 to the LH, or move LH beat 6 into the RH in a separate layer.
-m8 and m10 LH beat 1 should be Bb instead of Ab.
-I don't hear the Bb on m8 LH beat 3.5.
-m13 RH beat 1 is missing a Bb on bottom.
-m16 and m18 LH beat 1, layer 1 should be Bb instead of Ab.
-m18 LH beat 3.5 should be Ab instead of Bb.
-It's faint, but m18 RH beat 3 and 3.5 sound like they're missing an Eb and Db on bottom respectively, and m19 RH beat 1 is missing a Bb on bottom.
-m20 RH sounds like it's harmonized in the exact same way as m12 RH.
-m20 LH beat 3 sounds like a Bb instead of a Db.

11
-m64 beat 1: melody note sounds like it should be up an octave. You could include the harmony under it as well (bottom to top Bb-C#-E).

Quick post before this gets accepted, I still think having the Bb and C# here at the very least would be good, to preserve the b9 and 3rd of the chord.

12
This is one of my favorites from Deltarune, so wistful...

  • Personally, I don't think that notating the delay/echo effect in m1-6 as accented dotted notes portrays the original song very accurately on piano, the effect in the original is subtle enough that I think it'd be better left to the performer to decide whether or not to include it.  A performance note saying "optional dotted 8th echo on melody" or something similar would leave the option open for anyone who wants to play it, whereas writing out all the delayed notes doesn't really leave much room for interpretation.  If you do still want to keep it notated literally, though, then the echo in m4 and m6 should be tied dotted notes, like this:
  • I think m1-6 would be better written out in 3/4, since the rhythmic structure doesn't really change that much between this section and the rest of the song. If you do want to have a different time signature for this first section though, I think 6/4 would work better than 3/2. 3/2 implies that there are 3 strong beats per measure, but I hear there being 2 strong beats per measure because of the two dotted half notes in m4 and m8 LH. That's assuming you don't want to do 3/4, which I still think would be the simplest option.
  • In m2, RH beat 4-5 and LH beat 6 all sound like they're part of a separate voice from the main melody; in order to show this more clearly you could either move RH beat 4-5 to the LH, or move LH beat 6 into the RH in a separate layer.
  • m8 and m10 LH beat 1 should be Bb instead of Ab.
  • I don't hear the Bb on m8 LH beat 3.5.
  • m13 RH beat 1 is missing a Bb on bottom.
  • m14 and m16 LH beat 1, layer 1 should be Bb instead of Ab.
  • m18 LH beat 3.5 should be Ab instead of Bb.
  • It's faint, but m18 RH beat 3 and 3.5 sound like they're missing an Eb and Db on bottom respectively, and m19 RH beat 1 is missing a Bb on bottom.
  • m20 RH sounds like it's harmonized in the exact same way as m12 RH.
  • m20 LH beat 3 sounds like a Bb instead of a Db.

13
Submission Archive / Re: [SNES] Plok! - "Beach" by Cashwarrior1
« on: April 24, 2023, 12:52:07 AM »
Whoops, my bad, I misread m67-70. The chords there to me sound like G-A-B-D-F# bottom to top on beat 1 and 2.5, and the same chord up a whole step on beat 4.

14
Submission Archive / Re: [SNES] Plok! - "Beach" by Cashwarrior1
« on: April 23, 2023, 06:16:32 AM »
The video linked in this thread is pretty poor quality and has a lot of noise, which might make hearing notes unnecessarily difficult. Here's a better quality video:


I might take a closer look at this later, but here are a few things that jumped out at me:

-The chords in m17-18 should be C-F-A-Bb-D from bottom to top, and the chords in m19-20 should be Bb-Eb-G-Ab-C (same voicing down a whole step).
-The simplified voicings in m23-34 and m27-28 are missing Abs on top, and I don't hear any Fs in these chords (since they're just the same as the ones in m19-20).
-You could include the 9th in the LH chords in m67-70.
-m57 RH beat 1.25 the note sounds like it should be on beat 1.5 instead.
-m60 beat 3 and similar could use a mordent.
-m72 and m76 RH beat 1 sound more like As than Bs to me.

15
Looks like you forgot to change m3 and m27 beat 1 to a dotted 8th + 16th, unless you disagree about those spots?

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