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Messages - Libera

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 149
1
- I could've sworn I wrote a B natural, but you're right, the score was acting funky so I deleted the note and re-entered it, and now it's fine

Yeah I think you probably did since finale thought it was a Bn as well, but just wasn't displaying it as such.  I've seen this happen before on a few occasions but I'm never sure of the cause.

Everything else looks good, so I'll approve.  Nice work.

Edit: Talked to Levi about also editing the slurs in 9/13/17/21, which has now been done.

2
I tried it out with the higher octave, and I do like how that sounds, so I did it with that ^^ I feel taking the octave below goes a bit too much into the stronger register of the piano.

This sounds good too.

I think 19-24 looks a lot cleaner now and easy to follow.  Nice.

I'll approve.

3
Yeah this looks pretty solid.  I'll just point a few small things.

-I think the fact that you shrunk the notes in bar 2 is a little confusing.  They kind of look like grace notes, especially with the slur.  You could just break the beam between there to separate them from the previous note and the keep them the same size and I think it would be clearer.
-I don't think the simplification on beat 3.5 of bar 5 in the RH is necessary.  You could just leave it as A -> D sixteenth notes and it's still very playable.
-I think the Bb in bars 16 and 24 in the left hand is a Bn, and maybe it even is in the midi but the score doesn't give it a natural sign?  Something weird is maybe going on.
-In the opposite situation, I don't think the courtesy Bb in bar 22 is helpful.  It's directly next to the key signature Bb and the right hand doesn't play a Bn at all in the previous system.  I think it's going to create more confusion than it solves by being there.

4
Ok cool, I just did that.  I'll accept now then.

5
That should be everything! Those were some very helpful "details" and I think the sheet is much better now. Thanks, Libera! :)
I've update the submission files, so do let me know of any more suggestions you might have!

Yeah this looks great.  I was going to accept, so I was just resetting the articulations for previous versions of finale and I noticed that the slurs in bars 1/5 were slightly a bit too close to the sharp symbol and so I nudged those a little.  If that's OK with you, I can upload those files and accept.

Here's a picture:
Spoiler
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It is a very slight change, but a little neater.

6
I feel like this soundtrack is trying to give off the impression of young children in music class at school and I guess it succeeds but it doesn't make me enjoy listening to it.  The sheet looks good though.

Good idea! I used it for the places you mentioned: I didn't use it in the beginning, because I didn't like using the octaves.

I was actually going to suggest doing this.  I think it'd sound pretty good and help to differentiate the ends of these phrases, but I guess it's up to you.  The lower octave is still pretty high and so it doesn't make the sound too heavy.

Other things:

-The tie at the start of bar 24 is colliding with the sharp sign.
-I guess technically the Bb in bar 23 should be an A# like the other ones, but maybe the notation looks too horrible.  I'm not even sure how to present that myself.  If they were in the same voice you would do a split stem but here...
-I think the stemming and the layering (and the rests, although I'll say something separately about that in the next point) get a little confusing in bars 21-24.  I feel like morally I would be more comfortable if the 'offbeat' stabs were always in the same layer, and I don't think you actually gain much notational clarity by swapping them around.  I think especially in bar 24 where the layer swaps halfway through the bar is unnecessarily confusing. 
-With regards to the rests, I think some additional consistency could be achieved, and maybe some clarity as well.  In bar 21 all of these layer 1 rests can be placed in the usual position and it might help when reading that bar.  In bar 23, the second layer 2 rest is slightly lower than the others (although it matches the swapped layer 1 rest heights in the second half of bar 24).  You could also combine the rests in bar 23 on beat 3.

The notes look good, and I agree on the F# -> C# pattern in the left hand.

7
This looks fine.  I'll just point out a few details.

-m1, 4 and 5: For the double bass and accordion bass notes, It could be best to not try to arrange as much as possible of both of them. For m1 and m5, I hear the D on beat 3 more prominently than the A-D figure of the double bass (though this works alright too, if you really wanna keep it).

Good point! I was originally going for the classic "oom-pah" feel, but the D is definitely stronger despite not being the bassiest (is that a word?) note. Sounds great all the same, so I've swapped it out for a D.

I actually think it makes a lot more sense as an A than a D.  The A is much more idiomatic and gives a more varied sound than repeating a D on beats 1, 3 and 4 and fits a lot better with the rest of the written-in accompaniment pattern.  Even if the D is louder than the A in the original, it sticks out a lot more because the A -> D movement is a lot more noticeable than the repeated D.  Anyway, those are my thoughts on that.

The other thing that I noticed is that bar 9 is an unnecessary bar.  You could have the first time bar start in bar 8 instead and bar 9 is then just deleted, which lets you place three bars per system for the rest of the page.  It might look a little more consistent that way.

You may also consider adding a double barline for the B section beginning at bar 11, but since the piece is short it is up to you.  It might help the reader to understand the structure a little more clearly, though.

8
Submission Archive / Re: [PS1] Xenogears - "Faraway Promise" by Libera
« on: January 21, 2022, 08:34:30 PM »
Sure, we can have that one too.

Thanks for checking, files updated.

9
Submission Center / Re: Replacement Initiative
« on: January 19, 2022, 06:28:07 PM »
Took a shot at Halo 2's "Menu" (actually "The Last Spartan"), might need some tweaking but at any rate it's better than what we have onsite:

Halo 2 [XBOX]

The Last Spartan (Replacement)MUSMIDIPDFOriginal

So I was initially quite confused as this didn't seem to match the video that we had found earlier, but I think I have some idea what is happening.  Am I right in saying that the Halo 2 menu actually plays some sort of collection of shortened tracks from the game's OST?  It seems a section of 'The Last Spartan' plays on the menu and that this is what the original sheet was trying to arrange?  This is a slightly weird situation because from my point of view it's not actually entirely clear what a 'replacement' actually means.  Should we be putting up a sort of compilation sheet of all of the shortened tracks that cycle on the menu screen, or should we put a full version of what is currently truncated (i.e. the Last Spartan)?

My guess would be that when people see 'Halo 2 - Menu' they are expecting the choral piece that seems to be the initial track that plays in the cycle.  I guess if we change the name that is isn't a problem, but are we actually replacing the sheet and not just substituting it for something else?  I'm open to ideas here.  Maybe someone who is more familiar with the Halo 2 OST can chime in with something sensible.

10
Nice sheet.  I've just got some small details below and some spelling suggestions.

-I hear a D under the Ab in bar 8.
-The E->F at the start of bar 23/27 sounds like it might be better represented as a quarter F with a grace note En bending onto it.  I think that might reflect the original bass playing a little closer.
-The F# in bar 22/26 should be a Gb I think.  We're kind of in Fm here and b2 makes more sense than #1.
-Do you want a crescendo going into bar 29?  Might be nice.
-It sounds like bar 38's right hand is like in bar 2, with the C moving up to a D.
-With regard to the accidentals in bars 29-35, I think the main thing should be to make these ascending patterns look the same each time.  I think they should all match up with how bar 30's is spelt as that spelling matches up with the chord beneath it and doesn't respell anything in the same phrase.  The upshot is, I think the A#s in bars 29/33 should be Bbs and the C#s in bar 31/35 should be Dbs.  That's what makes the most sense to me, anyway.

11
The main thing I have to say here is about accuracy.  I'll be honest with you and say that this arrangement is not very accurate.  Normally I would point out all of the accuracy errors I see, but I personally I don't think it's my job to re-transcribe the entire bassline for you.  The updaters are here to catch mistakes and help with difficult sections, not fix the notes in an entire sheet.  I'll point you in some direction with what you should be checking again, but really you need to go through this whole sheet again and really listen closely to the original for the rhythms and the notes.

-As I mentioned above, the bassline is where most of the inaccuracies lie.  For example, there are mistakes in the rhythms and the notes in every bar in the bassline before the repeat sign and many more after that.  For a specific example, bar 3 should look like this in the left hand:
Spoiler
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-There is an entire part missing in the first four bars.
-The opening bar only has eight notes in it: G F E C Bb G F En.
-The countermelodies that appear in bars 15 and 17 come in a beat too early.
-The layers in bar 20 would make more sense the other way around i.e. with the line beginning on Db above the line beginning on F, like in the original.  You also don't have to write this as two layers.
-The double graces in bar 21 should be written as sixteenths rather than eighths.
-The notes in the second layer in bars 23/25 are also off.  It doesn't go up to a G on beat 2 or beat 4.  It goes to an E on beat 2.5, an F on beat 3.5 and a G on beat 4.5.  At least that's what it sounds like to me.
-The way you have written in the vocal samples doesn't feel very representative of the original either.  For example, the rhythm in bars 27/29 isn't right and the notes sound more to me like G -> F -> G there.  Similarly in bars 26/28/30 it sounds more like a repeated G at the start rather than F -> G, and I don't hear the harmonies you wrote it on beats 2/2.5.  The parallel fourths that it creates doesn't seem the match the sound very well, in my opinion.  I'd also recommend simply cueing in the 'Ayah!' on beat 4 rather than putting it on a middle C.  (Also if it is 'A-yah!' shouldn't it be two notes?)  You could just an x notehead(s), maybe the performer will want to vocalise there.  On a similar note, is 'whisper' really what you want there?  It doesn't seem to match the sound of the sample.
-The time signature shouldn't swap from 4/4 to common time in bars 1 and 2.  Pick one or the other.
-The first bar should also be a pickup, rather than a whole bar on it's own.  You could write in that slide as grace notes as well if you wanted to.  What does 'suspend notes' mean?  If you want pedal, just say pedal.
-I think writing 'optional 8vb' is a bit weird.  I think it should just be 8vb.  Definitely though don't say optional 8vb and write 8va.  Choose a convention (either say 8va or 8vb, I don't mind).

I think that's enough for now, although they'll be more details later that will need to be sorted out.  If you have any questions about anything I said or need clarification, feel free to ask.

12
Yep, that looks better!  I'll accept then.

13
Presentation-wise I think this looks pretty good generally; there's just a few details that I'll comment on (later). 

Something that I should first is that the pickup has been erroneously included in the bar numbering, but I'll be using the current bar numbers when I refer to anything to avoid confusion.  That does need to be fixed though.  To keep this slightly more bite-sized and more approachable, I'm just going to give feedback on the first 19 bars (up to bar 21).

Notes/accuracy:
-In the pickup, the third and fourth notes should be a C and an A.
-In bars 2-4/6-8 the lower notes on beat 3 and 3.5 sound like they should be C -> D rather than D -> G.
-Again in bars 2-4/6-8, I think the dyads on beat 4.5 should be tied over to the next bar rather than coming off immediately.  That sounds to me like what happens in the original.
-The bass in bar 9 plays an F that then moves to an F# on beat 4, rather than an Eb that moves to an Fn.
-I don't hear the Bb or the An in any of the chords in bars 11-12.  I'd suggest replacing them with a doubled G and F#, respectively.
-In bar 12 the bass should be an F# on beat 4 rather than an Fn.
-It sounds to me like the second layer in bar 5 should resolve to a Bb in bar 6, rather than a Dn.
-There's a little descending D -> A just at the end of bar 12, leading into the G in bar 13.
-The lower G on beat 1 of bar 14/16 sounds like an An.
-The lower A on beat 4 of bar 17/19 sounds like a Dn.
-I don't hear the piano line resolve in bar 20.
-The ascending string pattern in bar 20 sounds more like this to me:
Spoiler
[close]

Arrangement/playability:
My comments here mainly just concern the left hand in bars 13-20.  There are some accuracy concerns I have here as well but I'm going to leave mentioning them out while we focus on getting the style right.  You can have another look at the notes here though and see if you can spot them yourself, though, of course.
-Bars 13-16: this accompaniment pattern is very hard to play, particularly the jump at the end of bars 14/16.  There are a number of other options you could try out here.  One would be to move the top notes of the off-beat dyads down an octave, another would be to 'massage' the notes a little so that they fit under the hand easier (maybe alternating with the fifth rather than the third).
-Bars-17-20: This left hand is quite awkward to play (and also not very accurate to the original in places).  I think it might be easier to have this section match the left hand of the previous section, without all of these extra sixteenth notes.  Alternatively, maybe you could adjust the final note in each set of three to be up the octave, and that way it would be a lot easier to play and still cover the same rhythm.  Something else to think about, anyway.



I think that's enough for now.  I don't want to make this post too intimidating.  I think what you have is a good start and I hope we can continue to work through it!  Let me know if you need any help with anything, or any clarification on something I said.

14
I'm going to archive this one.  If you get back, feel free to resubmit it with the above changes addressed.

15
Poking intensifies.

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