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Messages - Libera

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1
I don't have time at the moment to do everything, but I've gone through and done a bunch of formatting things.  Namely I think I've fixed all of the noteflags and I adjusted the margins and staff spacing to give everything a bit more room (there were some overlaps before).  I also noticed some of the semiquaver beaming was off in places; I wasn't sure whether that was intentional or not but I fixed it in bars 17 onwards but left it alone before that as I could see more clearly why that might be intentional.  Here are some things I didn't do:
-Subtitle on page 2 and page numbers.
-Not 100% sure on how some of the ties should look, but there are a few places that are awkward at the moment (particularly the last quaver of bar 19, 23, the middle of 25 but there are others).
-Just like the pickup bar I think you're missing a bass lead in at the end of the loop.
-I think this is a piece where slurring the grace notes would be helpful for clarity reasons due to how much is going on sometimes.
-Make the semiquaver rest heights consistent in bars 2, 4 6 etc.
-Some of the grace note positioning is kind of tricky and I was thinking maybe it'd be best to push this to two bars per system just to give all the bars (particularly the second page though) some more space, but I can see why you might be against that.

I might be able to do some more formatting stuff later (maybe next week) but if someone else gets to it before then, awesome.



I haven't checked the notes and stuff yet but this looks sooo much better than the on-site version so thank you!  Here's the file [Libera Edit].

Oh and also I changed the on-site name as requested.

2
I think some phrasing should be added. A lot of this piece is a bunch of phrases layered on top of each other so it'd be helpful to distinguish these for the player.

Myself and Maelstrom came up with something.  Hope it's clearer now!

3
This is a beautiful piece

Indeed it is!

- m23 it sounds like there's a higher G nat in the left hand on beat 2
- m24 maybe you could add a low D in beat 1 (RH), but if I can understand not wanting to put one there
- m29 is there a reason why you omitted the F# in the LH chord?

All great points!  After trying it out on the piano, I put the D in bar 24 into the left hand so that it resolves correctly and doesn't get in the way of the piano line too much.  I also added in a missing A in the left hand of bar 25 while I was here.

- this is just me being picky, but I think the subtitle is a little too close to the title

The spacing looks to me like the same as it is for all of my sheets and it doesn't look particularly close so I left it as is.

Nice work overall!

Thanks!  And thank you for taking the time to check it over.

4
Awesome, looks great to me!

5
Notes look good to me, the only comment I have is a little suggestion:

Spoiler
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I think this might look a bit clearer and removes all of those semiquaver rests.  Certainly not required, but something to consider.

6
I was going to sub something else actually, but I don't have the time to fix it up at the moment so here's this instead.


7
Awesome!

8
Everything looks great to me apart from I think I'd write the Gb in bar 2 as an F# since the implied harmony there is a V/ii chord, but it's probably a little up to interpretation there since it's so sparse.

9
Finally, by popular demand!  (Not really, Latios just keeps asking me to sub this haha.)


10
I did change these on purpose at some point because I noticed the voices don't actually hold to the end of the bar. They start off as almost exactly 1 beat and over the course of the song gradually get longer, but they never extend past beat 4.5. I decided to add the tenuto to emphasize they are definitely at least a full beat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That's totally cool, no worries.

Looks good to me!

11
Looks pretty great in general, just a few little things from me.

-I'd combine the two dotted rests in bar 27 into a single dotted minim rest.
-Perhaps melody notes like beat bar 4, beat 3 bar 8 and in similar places would be better as dotted minim's rather than dotted crotchets?  They sound like they're longer to me, but it's probably pretty subjective.

12
Great!

13
Awesome!  Thanks for listening to my picky-ness haha.

Accepting!

14
When I first looked at this I thought I was going to have more to say, but on a second listen I think in general it's actually a pretty good job getting it down onto one piano.  Some things I'd like to mention though:

-Not so important, but the tempo is currently set at crotchet = 48 rather than dotted crotchet = 48 so the playback and midi will be too slow.
-I know I have a tendency to do this myself sometimes, but perhaps there's a better way to write out the third layer in bar 16 that's less cluttered.  I'm not sure we need to see the exact voice leading on that particular inner part here for any clarity in the performance.  Maybe just putting it in the right hand with a similar marking to the previous bar would be less visually 'busy'.
-The large arpeggio in bar 31 kinda comes out of nowhere and feels a bit weird to me next to the rest of the accompaniment (and I don't think it sticks out particularly in the original either) so personally I'd dial that down a bit to something more closely resembling the accompaniment pattern you've been using elsewhere.
-The lower second A in the right hand of bar 40 sounds like it should be a B to me.  It would fit the pattern better as well.

I see where you're coming from with the 6/8 3/4 thing.  Sometimes with those pieces they drift between the two and I don't think the way you've written it is really a problem, even if it's not how I would have done it myself.  (In other words, I'm fine with it being in 6/8.)

15
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "THE HOLY" by Yug Guy
« on: May 12, 2019, 02:00:24 AM »
Yug gave me permission to edit these files, and I have done so.  I just hid the repeated markings after the second measure and made the dotted lines go to the third quaver rather than the ninth as Lat mentioned.  I also adjusted the bracket in bar 3 to make it a bit neater.

It's a go from me!

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