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Messages - Code_Name_Geek

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 15
1
Cool.  Some (hopefully) final small things:

-Be careful with the positioning of the grace in 17.  It needs to be brought to the right more.
-It's probably better to hide the second layer rest in bar 39 since you've now combined that part into the first layer there.
-It would probably be better to change the bottom margin to 0.5 like the top and right margin.
Done! Sorry that took so long, I got swamped with end-of-semester stuff...

The only question I had was for bar 39: should I flip the stems in the second half of the measure (at least the second two of the quarter note triplet) or leave as is?

2
You can add in the lower part in bar 44 as well since it has the same rhythm, like this:

Spoiler
[close]

Having another look at this, I think the best option may just be to cut the triplet on beat 1.  I don't think it will change that much sound-wise but it'll be massively more playable that way.



The rest of the changes look good to me, nice work.
Ack, sorry it took so long to get this done. I changed the triplet to a quarter note which should be fine, and added the other voice too.

3
Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 21, 2021, 08:25:41 PM »
Looks pretty great, just a few nitpicky details to go over:
  • While G minor makes sense, that bassline actually makes me hear this as more in G major (like a G blues sound). Up to you if you want to change the key signature for that, it's probably fine either way.
  • When those LH power chords come in at m19, I hear the beat 4.5 notes as tied to the next measure (like in m20/22/26) rather than restruck.
\
  • You don't need courtesy accidentals when you start on a new line (m35), but you can keep them anyway.
  • That bass lick in m38 actually starts as a pickup on beat 4.5 of m37, so the last D should be one 8th note longer as well (starting on beat 2.5 of m38).
-I actually went back and forth on the key while arranging this so I'm fine to change it.
-I listened to the power chords again and it's really hard to tell, so I'm going to trust you on that. The middle one is still restruck in the arrangement because of the change in voicing, however.
-Done.
-Also done.

Thanks!

4
-The bassline should end with Bb -> C in every bar.
-Every F chord (so every four bars) I hear it as just open F-C, so I'd suggest changing the A's to C's or dropping them.
-I'd bring the first layer rest down a little in bars 15/19 etc. since it makes that first triplet bracket a bit oddly high.
-I think you need to mess with the ties in bar 20 a little more to keep them away from the first layer notes.
-Grace note in bar 21 is touching/too close to the second layer notes.
-I'd notate the dyad in 29 in a separate layer like you do elsewhere, I think it could be a little confusing for the reader to distinguish the melody there.
All done!

-The RH of bar 37 is very unplayable.  Is there any way you could rewrite that section to avoid the immense awkwardness of that phrase?
This is the one thing I couldn't figure out how to fix... I might play around with this some more but any suggestions would be welcome.

-The rhythm in the second half of bar 39 is very confusing to read.  Working out how the last two notes interact with one another is pretty tricky, and the way it's written looks like they play together (which they shouldn't).  Maybe you could simplify that rhythm there or write in a clearer way?
Simplified.

-In bars 41-48 another higher voice comes in over the top that I think is a bit more interesting, particularly in bars 43-44.  Have you considered including it?  Perhaps instead of the lower line?  Or maybe you tried it out already and it didn't work well.
I added the higher voice for the first 4 bars, but didn't hear anything significant in the second 4 bars so I left it the same. (Feel free to let me know if I missed something there though.)

-It might be nice to see if you can get a pedal F at the bottom of bars 49-56 like in the original, rather than the bass note changing.  I think it should still be doable with sost. pedal, or just normal pedalling.
-The dynamics could generally be better centred vertically and horizontally.  Have a look through them again to make sure the positions look nice.
Also fixed.

Thanks for the detailed feedback!

5
Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 21, 2021, 03:22:33 AM »
Looks great!  The only thing I have left to suggest is maybe a double barline in 28, but that's really up to you.  I'll approve in the meantime.  (I'll fix the articulations later.)
Good idea, done.

6
Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 19, 2021, 06:33:54 PM »
This piece doesn't go quite where you expect it to at the end does it?
Yeah it's a bit of a sneaky ending haha.

-Does every single (almost) note need a staccato?  I get what you're going for but I feel like an articulation kind of loses its meaning if you put it on basically every note.  Maybe you could write 'sim' at some point, or even condense what you want to convey with a direction instead of all of these staccatos.
That's a really good point. I decided to use sim after establishing the pattern, however I kept the staccatos for the last section since it's so different in style. Does this make sense?

-The chords in 29-33 are maj7b5 or 7b5, so I think the G#s should be Abs instead.
Fixed, I was thinking of those as #11s but that makes more sense in this context.

-The repeat in 32 is not particularly pleasant and also the bass note actually changes to a Cn on the fourth chord, so I think it'd be a good idea to write those bars out fully.  If you're worried about going onto two many pages, you can fix this by dropping the staff size to 6.5cm (to be honest I would do this anyway since I think it looks better) and then putting 5 systems on page 1.
Good catch, I usually use 6.5cm size but I must have forgotten this time around. Fixed the repeat and the bass note as well.

Everything else is fixed too, thanks!

7
Submissions / Re: [N64] Harvest Moon 64 - "Title Theme" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: February 18, 2021, 06:28:03 PM »

8
Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: January 25, 2021, 12:52:11 AM »

hey look, I remembered to centre the staccatos right this time

9
Ok, last edits are done!

10
I agree with this... not necessarily because it's a practice I've seen in other places but simply because I think it's the least ambiguous way to write it. That said, I think it's fine if you want to keep it although measures 9 and 13 are particularly confusing.
Alright, that's logical enough so I suppose there's no harm in doing it that way. These places should be fixed now.

Got most of the note and formatting fixes as well, thank you! (I could have sworn there was a D on those beat 2s, but I listened to it again and you're totally right - I've been hearing that wrong for years lol.)

- The ascent in m. 9/13 sounds like it starts on D and ascends to D (no C#)
This is the only one I was unsure about - is this what you meant by no C#.

Thanks again for the help, and sorry on the wait!

11
Sorry for the wait!

We tried that out and liked the suggestion, so we decided to go with it! We also modified the section immediately before to be similar.

12
Project Archive / Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« on: December 16, 2020, 01:07:55 AM »
Whew, made all the suggested edits on both of those. The ones I was unsure about are below:

Summer
m1-2/19-20 - b2.75-b3 G should be an F
Did you mean b3.75-b4 here? If so, that's been fixed as well.

Gustafa's Yurt
-m18 - why isn't this chord the same structure as m17? It sounds like it's exactly the same voices playing in the same harmonies, just slightly higher
I wasn't exactly sure what you meant here, but I added an A in the upper octave. If anything else should be changed just let me know.

Thanks for all the help, I'm not the best at picking out exact harmonies.

13
- Who's the composer? Wikipedia's telling me it's Shoji Meguro for Persona 5.
Shoji Meguro is the main composer for the game/series, but a lot of the "side" tracks are done by other people. According to VGMDB, this one was composed by Atsushi Kitajoh.

- Hmm, I wouldn't really say "sempre staccato" is the best fit here. The original accentuates the bass note playing on every beat and the arrangement already sounds even lighter when raised an octave. I would recommend putting staccatos on the offbeats and then using "simile", or something of the sort.
We listened to this again and that does seem like a better way to do it, thanks for the suggestion!

- You may want to put a courtesy sharp on the first RH C# in m. 26 as it's above Cn in the LH
Also done.


I don't think you need the staccatos at the end of the two-note slurs since it's generally implied that the second note of a two-note slur is staccato, plus you already have sempre staccato at the beginning.
I think those slurs are now redundant with Latios's suggested articulation changes, since the established pattern is now long-short. If there's another reason to have them in there we're open to hearing it, though.

The "= 170" in the tempo marking is also still bolded for some reason. Not sure if you can change it, although it's probably not a big deal if you can't.
Oops we must have missed this one, it should be fixed now.

14
Very nice. Last couple things:
- m10 LH beats 3 and 4 should be Cn's, not Bn's.
- I would move the mf in m19 down a little so it's not so close to the slur.
- For m26 LH beats 3 and 4, I would suggest using two-note slurs instead of tenutos.
Done! I did two-note slurs instead of tenutos in m. 10 as well to keep it consistent.

15
Solid. Some last things:
- In m10 LH, the A#'s should be written as Bb's, and the notes on beats 3 and 4 should be Cn's instead of B's. Also, I would suggest changing beats 3.5 and 4.5 to G's instead of E's (I think the fifths sound better). I like this way, but if you also want to maintain the dyad offbeat pattern, you could just have both E and G together on beats 3.5 and 4.5 instead.
- In m34 LH, change the A's on beats 3.5 and 4.5 to G's, and in m41 LH, change the F# on beat 3.5 to Fn and the C#'s on beat 4 to Cn's. Similar to m10, I think it sounds good if you just have single notes (i.e. C-G-C-G in m34, Bb-Fn-Cn-G in m42), but if you want to keep the offbeat dyad pattern, you can include both notes on beats 3.5 and 4.5 as well.
- IMO the crescendo in m26 looks kinda weird to be just slightly crossing over into the previous measure. I would just limit it to m26 instead of extending it into m25 since I think it looks cleaner and it doesn't really change anything.
All done - I think the single notes sound better in those spots too.

You're in luck because the track actually has some faint harmonies under there, and I slowed the audio down to take a listen. I'm not 100% sure about the exact harmony notes, but compared to what you have now, I would suggest the following changes:
Awesome, thanks so much for this! All the changes you suggested have been done.

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