Messages

Files have been updated.

I'm quite aware of jazz notation for chords, thank you. I meant that measure 14 is clearly a Cb major chord, with one line playing a Bb on the fourth beat for a CbMaj7 effect.

Edit: Also, while the G in measures 1-2 isn't strongly emphasized, it's still present, and I don't think simply leaving it out is justified.

Files have been updated.

How do you intend to do a crescendo on whole notes with a piano? Sure, you'll play the second one louder, but the effect won't be the same at all.

I feel like I have to apologize: most of your complaints are my mistakes, since I made quite a few edits to the arrangement BrainyLucario had originally posted, but overall I only worked about 10 minutes on this arrangement. My intent was to give BrainyLucario a few pointers in embellishing his arrangement, and have him continue to work on it from there, but it seems he just posted the version I gave him.

I agree with most of what you said, but there are nonetheless a few points with which I take issue:

• In the opening measures, the violins clearly play a G second line, and it's impractical to try and convey the build up in the original with static whole notes, which is why I put in a tremolo.
• For measures 4-10, I would stick with simple fifths for the accentuated beats, as opposed to fifths and octaves.
• I don't see why the second layer in measures 14-15 would be an issue; just remove the left hand Bbs in measure 15.
• I added the thirds to the triplet line to fill out the harmony, and they're not that hard to play. Though after listening to it another time, I think it's actually a sixteenth note line:
  
• I don't know what you're talking about when you say measure 14 is an Ebm chord.

I suggest you change the "two eighths tied to an eighth and a quarter in a triplet" rhythm in measures 4, 8 and 14 into quarter note triplets for legibility. Grace notes leading up to a note need a slur connecting them, even if the entire phrase is slurred, and single note acciaccaturas are always written as a slashed eighth note, not a slashed sixteenth.

Now, you don't need to change this if you actually have a reason for doing it, but I'm curious as to why you chose to add an E to the Em7 chord upper voicings, as opposed to keeping them consistent with the three-note Bm7 and C7 ones. Similarly, why did you change some grace notes into mordants? If it's just because the Finale playback was a bit off, I recommend reverting that.

Also, I'm pretty sure those Fb's are F naturals.

I approve of his inverting the chords, because an Eb major triad starting on the third space lacks impact, one starting on the first line under the staff is too muddy, and an open voicing going from first line under to fourth space would most likely required rolling the chord, which would weaken the effect.

You're absolutely correct about the Eb voicing in the bass. (The original voicing is Eb first line under the staff, Bb second line, and G fourth space played by the piano, with the flute playing D above middle C, but your voicing is more accessible—many pianists aren't able to play a tenth with one hand.) I was merely suggesting you make what are currently whole note chords into half notes and complete the chord with the flute part as another half note on beat three of measures 19-22. The tempo is definitely slow enough to allow it, and the pedal would hold the chord underneath. Another option would be to add a D fourth line to the right hand, even if it is and octave higher, just to give that major 7 colour.

No offense, but I prefer the smaller version.

Added Twilight Realm.

Files have been updated.

Sounds good, but is it really necessary to change key signatures? It's not like there's an actual modulation, and the piece already uses mode mixture extensively throughout, so I don't see the point of switching keys just for that VI-VII-I progression, even if it is eight measures long.

The opening two measures aren't quite as fast as the rest of the piece (closer to 112 bpm), and the long C isn't held down that long (you could either make the sixteenth note line a two beat pickup going down to a whole note, or change the second measure to 2/4 time. (Alternatively, you could delete measure 2 and put a fermata on the half note in measure one.) From measure 3 onward, it seems to me like it's a bit faster than 135 bpm (closer to 144).

For the bass motif, the note between the two F's is an E natural, not a D.

Since this piece is rather, it would be preferable to not change key signatures in the middle. (Even if you were to do so, measure 19 would not be the place: your harmony hasn't changed yet, as shown by the identical bass. If this piece needed a key change, which it doesn't, it would be for measures 23-30.) By the way, this theme is mainly in F minor, so the key should be four flats, with accidental D natural in measures 15-18 and A natural in measures 23-30.

Also, considering the style of the piece, it should most likely be written in 4/4 time with swing eighths.

The arrangement you made works fine if your goal is to have it played by a beginner-level pianist, but it's possible to embellish both the accompaniment (e.g. by filling in chords) and the melody (e.g. by doubling). If you plan on continuing to work on this project, I suggest you take a look at a few quick edits I made (MUS/PDF) for inspiration. (Also, you had the harmony wrong in measures 18 and 19, and I made a few other fixes as well.)