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YES I've been wanting Inside the Deku Tree!
Sorry for the wait! Fresh pair of eyes, coming right up! You all did a great job untangling the voices on this one - I'm only finding pretty minor things as I go through this closely.
- Use an eighth rest instead of a whole rest for the pickup.
- m. 2/6 beat 3.25 should be a B, not C#
- Small thing - the 1 and 2 repeat markings in m. 10-11 could be shifted left a bit. I also think they should have a dot following the numeral.
- In measures 17-24 I think I would suggest putting the RH down an octave as it is in the original. There no clashing pitches, not much overlap and given the LH notes are all staccato that's not a problem.
- The layer 2 beat 4.5 noteheads in the LH of 22/26/30 are ever so slightly shifted to the left. Use the Note Position tool and right click to remove manual adjustments.
- There's a very long gap between the crescendo marking in m. 25 and the next dynamic marking. How about just a mf at 25, and a f at 41? I don't think there's much dynamic variation from 25-41 especially as it's repeating the same section.
- LH notes flipped in m. 32. Left end of slur needs to be adjusted in 28.
- Eighth rests in m. 33/37 need to be bumped up to avoid clashing with the LH beams.
- In the high rolled chords in m. 41 and 43, I'm hearing the E lowered an octave (so it's ascending E-B-F# as a stack of fifths).
- I'm hearing beat 2 LH in m. 45 (the first 16th note) as B instead of F#.
- I think the two eighth rests in the last measure are a bit awkward - I think the original has some more notes instead of stopping suddenly.
I have made this final change, super!
A few more things:
- The spacing in the LH is really weird sometimes, particularly in places like m14 and m18. To make things less cramped and more even, it might be better to change m8-19 into four lines, three measures each (instead of three lines, four measures each as it is now).
- You might want to unbeam the RH dyad on beat 2.5 in m14 (the first note of the slur) since it's a distinct phrase from the first two dyads of the measure.
- The spacing in m27 is messed up because of the addition of the clef. Just click on a note in m27 with the Simple Entry tool and it should respace itself automatically.
You're off to a really great start with these sheets - much better than when I first started, that's for sure! Hope you enjoy the site and learn a lot from other arrangers here.
This is what I'm hearing for m3:
You may want to consider this for m28:
This replaces the lowest octave with the highest octave—both of them are present in the original, but obviously you can't include both, so there's a tradeoff here. You can keep whichever octave you think is more important, but I personally prefer this one since I feel like the highest octave's absence is felt more strongly if it's not there.
Some other considerations:
- I would make the first LH note in m29 a staccato'd eighth note on beat 1, and then get it back to playing the high notes by beat 2.
- For consistency's sake, I would make the staccato'd quarter note in m24 LH a staccato'd eighth note instead, followed by two eighth rests.
- I would raise the 8va line in the third system (m8-11) a little bit.
- I would drag the start of the 8va in m29 a wee bit to the left. Just slightly, so the left side of the 8 is over the barline.
- I would move the sign in m3 a teensy bit to the right to be centered over the barline.
- The title should have an upward accent, not a downward accent. Because Jean Armstrong sucks at French.
At least I've got one to share with you in 2020: