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Messages - Maelstrom

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 555
31
RH m33 b1 - I hear a G here before the D.
RH m34 b1 - I hear 2 16ths here - B followed by a C, which makes b1.5 a restrike.
RH m40 - Not sure about the harp here at all. B1.25 might be a D#? E? It's right around there.

That's it, nice work.

32
I understand the splitting of the barline in m12 LH b2 and similar, but it creates a set of 3, which is weird and might be confused for a triplet, especially since there's no RH notes to line it up with.

Aside from that, I have no issues; great work.

oh wait, it's really nitpicky but the 8vas in the systems of m13 and m63 aren't in line with each other. Shouldn't be that hard to fix and would look nice. If you want to be extra nitpicky you could try to standardize them through the sheet but that's more than I'd ask.

33
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Duck Hunt - "Game Over" by Th3Gavst3r
« on: November 24, 2020, 09:45:00 PM »
cool

34
LH first
-m2b1.5 - I hear an F here followed by a restrike on b1.75, which you have written in. It sounds like it might still be there in m6, but it's so faint it's hard to tell for sure.
-m14 - I'm hearing some harmonies here below what you have written. For b1.25-1.75, it sounds like it's Eb-Ab-Ab and maybe another Ab on b2 but it's hard to tell.

RH m11 - I am not convinced by those quarters, since the sound is distinct from the progression in the following measure. I think a Gb-Bb is more accurate than the Bb-Db, but I'm not 100% positive on what the notes are, just that it's not what's written here.

Aide from that it looks fantastic, great work

35
m40 guitar - I hear the F but it also has a quick bend up and back to a G. The triplet I have is a way of including that. Thoughts?

Guitar patterns - I still hear the Eb there, and want to keep it to avoid droning on the C for that much longer. I do,  however, hear that b2.5 Bb so I added it in and tied it to b3. I also changed the 2nd measure of each set - I don't think the F is restruck outside of the mordent so I just made it 4 16ths instead.

Chords - I think I was hearing the An at the top as the G#. So I lowered the G# to an F# and added the An on top and it sounds even better now.

Next updater - Check the C-Eb thing in m5 and 9.

Again, thanks for the feedback and taking so much time to closely check it. Files updated

37
What's hidden? I can't seem to figure out what you're referring to.

Not sure if the at tempo is in the best place now, can't figure out a place to put it where it looks better.

Not sure what's best to do with the freely. I could align it under the tempo marking, or seperate either in opposite directions. I don't feel great combining them because it's not a feel mark for the whole song. I did the latter for now, but I'm curious what you'd suggest.

Made all other visual changes

-m4 - I can't hear that Eb at all... The other note strike I can hear is the harp I'm leaving out for this measure playing a G.
-m6 - I hear the C loud and clear.
-I do hear the Eb in m12, and I also hear the rest of the measure differently than written. Changed.
-Did the chord stuff on page 1. Left the last one tied since the lessening of motion there was ruined by the restrike.
-m28 fixed
-m30 - I think i was hearing a string harmony instead so I handed it off to the RH and made the LH the Bb
-Added Dn harmony, think it sounds cool
-Made other changes
-Can't figure out a good way to add the progression in the last 2 measures. No matter where I try to put it in, it interferes somehow. If it makes a 2nd with the RH part on b1 of m35, then it completely obfuscates what's going on there. If it's an octave below that, it gets hidden by the LH since that Bb is played the measure before and b2 afterwards. And just having the Bb alone without the C progressing to it sounds weird because there's no movement; it just feels like a restrike from m35. What I'm saying is it'd be cool to include but I just tried everything I can think of and think the piece benefits more without it.
- but tying it through would break my hypermeter pattern :( fine ill do it

files updated

38
I'm going to archive this for now. If you come back and want to submit it again, make the changes suggested here and we'll be glad to give you more feedback.

39
I mistyped
The note that should become an F# is m14 beat 3.5 in that measure and all measures with an identical bassline
m13, for example, should have the Gb instead.
The difference here is the chord being played - it's a Db major chord in m13 and a B minor chord in m14 and spelling it like those chords makes it easier to read. The rest is great, aside from the missing measure numbers, but that can be fixed last

I don't know how I feel about staccatos on the LH 8th notes in the final 2 pages. I think it might be better without, imo.
Is it possible to incorporate the ascending and descending bass voice in m45-54? Like modulating the off beats instead of having them hit the same note all the time?
Maybe something like this?

40
Off-Topic / Re: Made mah day.
« on: November 23, 2020, 08:37:44 PM »
Just gave a successful lab meeting! I've been stressing about it for a good month or so and I'm glad it turned out well.

41
Site News / Re: Arrangement + Performance Playlists
« on: November 23, 2020, 03:25:48 PM »
Check the top bar on the main site

42
Projects / Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
« on: November 18, 2020, 11:08:41 PM »
Snakey Chantey
Before I get much further with this, I need to say that I don't think the bassline for the main part of the song is sufficient. It's just not the same without the piano chords in there. Is it possible for you to combine the chords with the LH so it doesn't sound so barren?

Brothers Bear
RH m2 - I hear the 6ths here as 4ths, just like it's written in m1.
I don't think the An needs a courtesy accidental, also in RH m2. Again in m6 and a few other places. I don't think courtesy accidentals are required when they are in a different octave than the note that initially had the accidental. Up to you on this one, though.
Otherwise looks pretty fantastic. 

Treetop Tumble
Briefly passing through this one, and I'm not a fan of how not all echoes are treated equally. In the RH, they're given the same emphasis and volume as the main notes despite being half as loud. Meanwhile, in the LH m9-16 some echo notes are almost as loud as the main notes but aren't included at all.

43
Projects / Re: Yug Guy's Replacements
« on: November 18, 2020, 10:27:07 PM »
The Great Pyramid
This song desperately needs some articulations. Places like m6 LH just don't sound the same with the slur-staccato pattern. Other suggestions include a dotted tenuto for b2 of LH m4 and and staccatos for the RH.

notes look great all around.

44
Projects / Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« on: November 18, 2020, 10:03:57 PM »
Gustafa's Yurt
-Why not include the steel string guitar (F#) on m2 b3.5 LH? It shows up other places throughout the piece (A on b3 of m4) and I think it'd be a welcome addition.
-m17-end - not sure why the steel string guitar is always staccato? Almost all the notes are played to ring out and connect, not to be disconnected from each other.
-m20 - Again, the staccato. Not sure what the RH is doing on b2. Why not have a 2nd layer chord here hit on beat 1 instead? Or combine the chorus and the guitar to have a chord in a single layer?
-1st layer in m21 RH would be better suited as a D below the G to highlight the guitar here, imo.
-m22 RH - Chord here is a Em. I'd recommend raising the C# to a D here for the 4th.
-This is what I'd recommend for m24-26:

- I'd recommend seperating the steel string guitar from the plucked strings more in the last 6 measures. They're really hard to differentiate right now, especially with the staccatos for the guitar

45
Feedback time

-I don't hear the grace not in m24 or m28.
-m49-54 RH -  I don't hear the horn restriking on beats 1 or 2. I think a whole note would be better here. Beats 3-4 in each measure are fine
-m69 RH b1.5 - I hear a Dn here instead of a b. Also in every other similar measure. (Eb in m81/85)
-m66 and similar - when it goes down to a D#M chord on beat 4 and in similar places, the 3rd 16th in that run is a Dn, not a D#
-m67 LH b4 - chord here is actually just a DM chord, so no sharps.
-m69 LH b2 - chord here is a D#M, looks just like m66 b4 with the Dn on top
These chord changes are present in the remainder of the piece.

I am not the accidental expert but I have a few suggestions.
-m24 and similar - spell all Gbs as F#s in the LH like you have in the RH.
-It's really bothering me how b3-4 of m68 are spelled like F# major in the RH and Gb major in the LH. Not sure of the best way to easily fix it aside from maybe changing the LH chord on b3.
 This occurs a bunch of other places.
The rest is easily sightreadable, at least.

Is it possible to incorporate the ascending and descending bass voice in m45-54? Like modulating the off beats instead of having them hit the same note all the time?

Overall, you did a pretty fantastic job with this.

I have a few concerns with the bassline of the final section, mostly the parts at the end of m73, 81, etc. The repeated 16ths make this section pretty tricky to play. I only bring this up because this is by far the hardest part to play of the entire piece and simplifying this one section would make it considerably easier to play. I don't really have any suggestions off the top of my head for you, unfortunately. Actually, I don't hear the 4th 16th of most of those runs. Simply making the 3rd one into an 8th would make it considerably easier to play.

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