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Messages - Libera

#1651
Ah, nice and simple: always good for me!

-In the last bar the F# sounds like an Fn to me and the last note sounds like a Cn rather than a Dn.
-http should be changed to https in the url.
-The game name could come a bit closer to the title and the 'Composition by' could come a little further down I think.
-Instead of a double dotted rest in bar 4 I'd use a minim rest followed by a crotchet rest followed by a quaver.  Like this:
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-If you're into courtesy accidentals the first note in the final bar might be a nice place for one.

I took the liberty of updating the files for you with the above changes (including the courtesy accidental) but if you have any problems with that do let me know.

Approved.
#1652
Looks like you too have done a lot of work on this and it looks great, particularly thanks msf for being so meticulous!

Some things I would say though are:

-Consider dropping the left hand semibreves in bars 16-17.  I'm not sure they add a whole lot and personally I think they clutter that section visually and from a playing perspective.
-This piece just about fits onto one page but it is getting a little scrunched in the last system which is causing a collision on the double sharp on the final note so that will need adjusting.  I'd just realign some of the notes in the final bar slightly to make it fit.

Other than that the notes look great, awesome stuff.
#1653
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 15, 2019, 01:25:54 PMI have one issue. m35 has been changed in such a way that the chord progression in the LH has been misrepresented. Here is the most literal transcription of it I could make:

Very nice catch.  Though I do hear the F# on the first beat (it might not be in the piano though, but still worth including I think.)  Anyway, I've tinkered with that bar so hopefully it's better now.

Thanks for checking!
#1654
I remember this when you showed it to me ageeessss ago.  I also remember suggesting that the horn D in bar 2 be made into octaves, which I'll reiterate again because I still think it'd be better like that (it helps to differentiate it from the previous part.)  Some more things:

-It sounds like there's a harmony An beneath the Fn at the end of bar 1 /start of bar 2.
-http to https!!!! :P
-Start the 8va at the end a little bit more to the left to keep me and msf happy.

And that's it; it looks pretty solid to me!
#1655
Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMYeah, I did away with all the smaller differences: they're pretty obvious implicitly anyway, I think, mostly just made playback sound better.

The one in bar 69 though?  As I said before, you can use accents if need be for the right hand.

Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMThe most recent two piano arrangement onsite does have repeated bar numbers: personally I don't really care that much.

That's fair, I just thought it looked a little cumbersome but I'm fine either way really.

Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMWhat I actually hear for those 3 sixteenths is the D an octave lower, then the other two as I wrote them: that doesn't really sound right on piano, though, hence why I grouped them together. I think I prefer it the way it's written now to transposing them down, since it keeps that part within a narrower range (transposed down, they kind of sound like they're doing their own thing).

That's fair enough, I'm happy for it to stay that way then.

Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMI think I did a better job, although it's admittedly difficult for me to distinguish the different instruments here...

Same, although I think what's there now is certainly an improvement.


Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMI mean, there's definitely something happening there starting at m.101 (similar to piano I m.69), but I gave up on actually figuring out what's happening since it's really hard to separate. Maybe I'll take another crack at it but no promises, and I'm not sure what else would go there really.

I think that the part you've written in is playing chords in the rest of those bars rather than just sitting doing nothing, and I think it'd be nicer for the performer to have a bit more to do there so if you wouldn't mind having another crack at it that'd be great.  If you get really stuck I can try and find an mp3 and see if I can nail anything down but that might take a while for me to find the time.

Quote from: Greg on June 14, 2019, 11:54:41 PMI listened to it again and did find some stuff: m.96 is different (it's similar to the ones before it) and I had a few wrong notes in m.100+4n which I took care of. Pretty sure it's mostly repeating the same thing, though.

Cool, I think that looks good to me.

Another thing I noticed is that the forte in bar 41 is just slightly too close to the barline so you might want to adjust that.

All of the other edits look good I think (though it is 13 pages long so hopefully I haven't missed anything haha.)
#1656
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 14, 2019, 05:49:58 PMConsidering the differentiation of the melody and other voices, I don't think it's actually that hard at all. For the first part, the melody is everything that isn't chords. For the 2nd part, anything that's not octaves is not the melody. Changing layers wouldn't do much and would just look weird in general because one layer drops out right as another one jumps in.

I guess I'm generally of the opinion that an arrangement should be playable without knowing the original and that's why I think that the layers are confusing as is, but I appreciate that you've thought about it anyway.  If the next updater doesn't have a problem with it either then I'll concede on this point.

Quote from: Maelstrom on June 14, 2019, 05:49:58 PMI didn't feel good about including a lot of dynamics because it's all at pretty much the same volume. Only the beginning sounds a bit quieter, so I indicated it as such.

That's fine, it was just that there weren't any at all previously.

I also noticed that I think you're missing a slur on the grace in bar 51 compared to all of the other graces and the crotchet rest in bar 59 still needs moving up (you got the other two though.)

Everything else looks good.  Though I would like another updater's input on the layering (or anyone's really.) 
#1657
Sorry for the wait on this, but as you said yourself this one takes quite a while to check.

-Em chord in bar 35/36 sounds like a sus4 to me (i.e. change E -> F#).
-Sometimes your dynamic placement is a little ambiguous and I'd try to place dynamics between the staffs of a single piano wherever possible.  (Notably bar 1 I'd move up but have a look through the whole thing.)
-Something else to say about the dynamics is that often you use subtly different dynamics in the left and right hand of parts and my advice would be to try and avoid this.  Unless it's extremely dramatic the difference is going to be hard to realise on the piano and generally speaking not worth the effort or the space on the page.  You can often get around it with articulations or directions instead and I think that generally works better.  See what you think, anyway.
-The A sounds like it's on top of the chord on beat 3 of bar 36 (Piano II).
-I feel like something funny is going on in bar 41/42 with the voicings of the same instrument being split across staves and pianos and I think it'd be a good idea to look at those two bars again and try and make it more consistent with the other material in the arrangement (or at least nearby).
-Something I'm not exactly sure about, but do we need repeated bar numbers in the piano II part?
-The crescendo in bar 32 should start on a note rather than between two notes.  Also if you could align it with the subsequent ff that'd be great.
-I'd replace the 15ma at the end with 8va and ledger lines to better preserve the contour from the previous section.
-Generally speaking I'd move all of the starts of the 8vas a bit more to the left to better cover the starting notes.  Finale has a tendency to start them in a funny place.
-Also not 100% sure on this, but maybe move the first semiquaver rest in the left hand of piano I bar 88 up in line with the subsequent ones in that bar.
-The last three semiquavers in piano II bar 72 sound an octave lower to me (the same then goes for bar 76 etc.)
-From bar 93 onwards I'm not sure on the piano II right hand part.  I can't seem to pick it out in the original and it mostly seems to double the chords in piano I so maybe it'd be better replaced with something more interesting?  Then again I'm not really sure what that might be, but probably worth thinking about.
-In bar 94 in the left hand of piano II the A# should be a Bb to match that phrase everywhere else.
-Also in bar 94 (and 98 82 etc.) the last note should be an Eb rather than an F I think.
-I'm also struggling to quite make out the bass movement in the last few pages from listening to it but are we certain that it just repeats the same four bars over and over again?
#1658
Off-Topic / Re: The Introduction Thread
June 14, 2019, 01:18:53 PM
Welcome!  (Officially this time I guess haha.)  If you do decide to get in on arranging there's plenty of people around here (myself included) who'd be willing to help, so be sure to ask if you need anything.  And obviously it'd be great to see more performances as well!
#1659
Quote from: Latios212 on June 11, 2019, 05:27:21 PMI did spend quite a bit of time thinking about this and do want to keep it. First the reason why I wrote this as a pitched note is because it's part of the melody as opposed to her rallying the crowd - this part shouldn't be omitted by the piano like the others can. Though it is just the major 7th of the chord I do agree it sounds a bit funny but having played this game dozens of times I think it accurately reflects the quirkiness of the original. Technical accuracy aside (I made sure the attack actually was an A natural) it creates the sound I've come to recognize.

I'm still not really sold on this as an approach, but considering it's just one bar in the piece I'm willing to let it go.  I think it'd be more of a problem though if this was more prevalent in the piece and I can definitely think of lots of songs where that could happen.

Anyway, I think that's all from me.  Approved.

Also this:

#1660
Feedback time yay.

-Please stop hurting the poor ties, Latios. :P
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(bar 3)
-I think the 'Yeah' in bar 25 is on beat 2.5 rather than 2.
-Personally I'd extend the En in bar 28 to the end of the bar rather than cutting it off on beat 4.  It doesn't sound like it comes off exactly on beat 4 and in any case I've found that when putting vocal lines onto piano it makes sense to widen the note length so that you get the correct phrasing (or for want of a better word, envelope).
-The main thing I have to say is about the An in bar 23.  Regardless of whether or not it should be an An or a Bb, I'm a bit confused as to why it's even being put in as a pitched note at all.  Every other time she sings a note that's not really 'in-key' and is more spoken than sung you've written it in as a x notehead, but for this one particular section you've gone for pitched notes.  (For example, the first and last 'Yeah yeah yeah' are both quite close to Bb -> Bb (octave down) -> Bb but you didn't put that in as pitched.)  It sounds really weird putting in the An since it's completely non-functional and in the original she doesn't even hold that note for very long before glissing down off of it.  (Regarding whether it's meant to be a Bb, I don't think it's meant to be anything, it's just her saying 'Boom!' in a dramatic way...)

Everything else looks good to me.
#1661
Sorry for such a long wait, checking now!

-Dotted crotchet in bar 20 sounds like a Dn rather than an En to me.
-I'm not sure you gain anything by writing the last two systems with two layers and I'd suggest just compressing it down to one layer there (it certainly would make the octaves in the last bar look more standard.)
-In bars 59-61 there's a lower part that plays a little repeated riff (G-F-G-C-Bb) that you might like to include instead of (or in addition to) the current left part.
-The crotchet rests in bars 55-59 look like they're colliding with the minims; I'd just move them up a little.
-Looks like you're missing a grace note C at the start of bar 39 (you've added them everywhere else so for consistency I think it'd be good idea to have this one as well.)
-This is more of a general comment, but sometimes from the sheet it's hard to differentiate the accompaniment from the melody.  For example in bar 9 the right hand starts off playing the backing ostinato but then part way through the bar it shifts to the melody.  This happens quite a lot on the first two pages of the sheet and I think it might be better to use two layers here to distinguish where the melody actually is.  Similarly, it might be a good idea to separate the chords in bars 3 and 7 from the rest of the quavers in the opening eight bars.
-Missing dynamics?
-I'm not sure the 'otherwise, end there.' is necessary since I think that's implied by the optional D.C. after 3rd ending.
-The url looks like it's too high to me, though it might be the margins you've chosen since after I set the vertical positioning to zero it still looked a bit high.
#1662
No worries, we're all good here!
#1663
Quote from: Static on June 08, 2019, 06:01:34 PMI fixed all the things. I didn't add the Eb though since I don't think it makes sense to add on beat 3 of just m26 (or of any measure like it). I only want there to be multiple notes on the hits (beats 1, 2.5, 4, and 5), to better contrast them from the moving line.

That seems fair to me, I think I was misunderstanding the effect that you were going for.

I'm not sure about the offbeat bass in the final bar still, but the other edits look good to me.  I think it'd make more sense to just have the bass come in on beats 1, 3 and 4 rather than 0.5, 3 and 4 but maybe there's something I'm missing.
#1664
Quote from: Static on May 29, 2019, 03:40:53 PMThe lowest voice here actually does start and end on a G, it's easiest to hear at the very beginning (it sounds like a horn rather than a violin).

Yep I can hear it now, my bad.

Quote from: Static on May 29, 2019, 03:40:53 PMI definitely hear m46 going up to a G there rather than an E. But while checking I noticed m39 and 47 should have the same contour, so I changed m39 to match.

Ah yes it's faint but you're right again. :P

Quote from: Static on May 29, 2019, 03:40:53 PMI mostly tried to make it a buildup (like m25-30), but with little bits of the original bassline in m49-50. While not very consistent with everything else, I think it makes this section sound more interesting than it would otherwise, and helps to differentiate it from m25-30. The C should not be there on beat 4.5 of m49 though, so I removed it.

That seems fair to me, I just wanted to check I wasn't missing something really.  All of the other stuff things look good (particularly I don't think I'm too bothered about the octave height of the E in bar 11).

Regarding bar 15, on listening again I think there might be a C -> Bb, C -> Ab and an Ab -> F (along with the obvious Eb -> Dn).  I don't think it terribly matters what voicing you go for in the end, as long as it's something reasonable (obviously).

I think that's all from me, so I'll just throw down my approval and I'll leave Latios to finish off what he wants to.
#1665
I've had another look through this and I come bearing more feedback.

-It might just be my ears messing with me, but I feel like the dyads in bar 2 (and all of the bars like it) should have the opposite inversion (i.e. the Eb in the bass rather than the Bb).
-Is there are a reason for writing the bass in bars like 8 and 16 differently to bars 2 and 6 etc.  The movement sounds the same to me.
-As well as the positioning of the semiquaver rests that I pointed out last time, there are some other troublesome ones like in bar 17 and 21 where the rests are inside noteheads.
-I think the right hand tie in bar 4 and 12 would look better flipped so it wasn't going through the notehead.
-Just reiterating that it sounds like the bass should come in at the end of the loop.
-The final chord in the left hand sounds like it's a Gb in the bass rather than an Eb.

Something else to consider: I see that you've put a lot of effort into writing in all of the independent lines, but at times I'm worried that it might be quite demanding to get them to come through correctly.  Particularly I'm thinking of the second layer in bars 17-24.  Let me know how you're thinking about it (if you're leaving it for the performer to leave out at their discretion or something like that.)