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Messages - Libera

#1711
Awesome, the edits look good to me.  Accepting!
#1712
Nice, it's looking better now.  I've got a few more comments from me:

-I think perhaps the Cn in bar 7 would be better as a B#.
-I'm hearing Ens rather than E#s in bar 9.
-This might screw up the hypermeter (although you could just a break mark at the end of the last bar) but if the loop is how it is in the file you sent, there's a rather noticeable gap between the end of bar 12 and the start of bar 1.
-Similar to the last comment, we need a D.C. or a repeat sign to show the repeat.  (Unless the piece doesn't actually repeat and it just does in the file you sent?)

I think we should be good after that, provided I don't suddenly discover something else.
#1713
I've just got some small comments to say on this one, but in general nice job.

-Especially with the ossia in the first system, I think everything aside from the title and url could be brought down a bit on the first page to give the composer info a little more room and eat up some of the white space above the url.
-Speaking of the url, http -> https.
-I feel like the left hand in bars 13-14 and 17-18 is an octave too low.
-I'd argue that the key change should be in bar 19 rather than 20 with F#s and Bns rather than Gbs and Cbs.  (The Bb still a Bb though as it's like a chromatic passing tone or w/e.)
-Maybe extend the 8va at the end to include the four semiquavers in the previous bar?  The reason I say that is because then visually it'd be clear that those two figures start on the same note which helps readability.
#1714
I don't think we've met before, but hi!  Looks like you're an old hand at this arranging business. :P  Such an old hand, that your url is http rather than https!  Once that's changed, we're good to go I think because this looks great otherwise.
#1715
So I fixed the formatting for you and also went through the right hand and fixed some wrong notes that I heard (you can check against your old copy for the changes, but I think they were in bar 11-12.)  I also adjusted the measure distribution to make it three per system so that it fills out the page more evenly.

Here are some files for you to use: Stuff



Aside from that, the main thing that needs work here is the left hand stride pattern.  I'd have another listen through to it and making sure that what you've written in fits the original, particularly the voicings on the offbeat dyads and the on-beat notes in bar 11.
#1717
Awesome!  Approved!
#1718
Looks pretty good to me.  All I have to say is that the url is kind of low on the page and even with that the first page is sort of cramped.  I'd move the url back to v=0 vertical alignment and then move a system from the first page onto the last (So you'd have 5-6-4).  I think that's all I have to say though.
#1719
Oh whoops I forgot to respond on this.  The edits look good to me, approved!
#1720
This looks great!  I've just got a few small things to say.

-At bar 9 you could maybe try introducing the strings as a lower layer in the right hand?  That might help to give the same sort of buildup towards 17 as is in the original and helps differentiate that section from the previous eight bars.
-It might just me being not used to seeing it, but should those break marks be there at the end inside the barline?
-Is the dotted voice-leading line necessary when you already have the slur?
-http to https!!! :P
#1721
Fixed.

Quote from: Maelstrom on May 06, 2019, 04:27:30 PMfantastic sheet. Might try this one out for myself later.

Thanks (and thanks for checking!), and if you do have a go at it let me know how it goes!

#1722
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 06, 2019, 05:05:38 AMThat darn tie tool is so difficult to work with; hope that looks alright. You guys can try it if you're not satisfied with my edit.

Yeah it is a little awkward.  I just adjusted the third top tie so that it lay in between the staff lines (looks a little neater that way imo).  I also adjusted the slur in that bar so that it reached the last note more clearly.

Hope those tiny edits are cool with you: if so that's all from me.  Approved.
#1723
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 05, 2019, 06:13:59 PMI thought you were just noting how squished they looked. How can I fix them?

Special tools -> Tie tool.  Just even them out so they look more like how ties usually look.

Quote from: LeviR.star on May 05, 2019, 06:13:59 PMAlso, I still need the song title for the replacement fixed, please.

Done.

Quote from: mikey on May 05, 2019, 07:04:15 PMIt's okay to just put "what a horrible night to have a curse" imo if you think horribly can be misconstrued

Not going to lie, that sounds much worse to me.
#1724
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 05, 2019, 05:12:20 PMDid you mean to type this here?

I did not, thanks for pointing that out!

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:42:04 PM-RIP the top note ties in bars 1-2.

The poor ties are still very squeezed.

Quote from: LeviR.star on May 05, 2019, 05:12:20 PMIt's actually a long-standing meme about text in the game that says, "WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE." whenever the time of day switches to night (signalling for this theme to start playing). It's just a joke on my part, but if it's decided to not be worth the joke as a direction, I can remove it if you guys want.

It's not that big of a problem, and I know that the site kind of has a history of jokey directions so eh (shrug emoji).



Once those ties are fixed I think I'm done here.
#1725
I think the fifth note in the left hand of bars 13 and 15 is still a G rather than an A.  Other than that small thing this looks great!