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Messages - Libera

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32
Is this the first SMO sheet I've checked?

No.

Is it the last?

Maybe.



Looks pretty sweet just a few things:

-The url/page numbers/ subtitle aren't aligned to the margin.
-The harmony isn't included very consistently in 42-46.  It looks like it pretty much moves in fifths with the main line you've written in.
-The D.S. could be a little further from the staff.

33
Looks pretty good generally.  Just I think the top notes in bar 6 should be G then E as those seem to be the melody notes here, at least as I hear it.

Also obviously I'll fix the accidentals afterwards.

34
Cool cool, I shall accepterino.

35
Submission Archive / Re: [PS1] Xenogears - "Crimson Knight" by Static
« on: November 21, 2019, 12:26:59 AM »
My interpretation of the snare part is a lot looser in that section for sure, but those 16th all fall where there's rolls in the original. With so many of them, I felt it was easier to simplify them to just 16th notes (instead of tremolos). But m31 should be regular 16th and not a triplet, so I fixed that. There are more rolls than what I indicated in the sheet, but I think adding anything else makes the part sound too cluttered, at least to me.

Ok I can see your reasoning.  I think that triplet was also confusing me so I'm happy to see it go. :P  Everything else is understandable and I'm ok with.

It is 2 slides, but I wanted to keep everything in the same range so it ends on that G. Otherwise the 2nd slide would have to start a lot lower. I don't hear the C myself, but that low harp range is kind of hard for me to hear with everything else going on.

Is it that bad for the second slide to start lower?  I mean I guess it's fine as it is but I don't see why we can't try to mirror it as well as we can.  And yeah to be honest I'm not 100% confident either, so maybe we should get a third opinion on the starting pitch.

I kept the 16ths as Bs in the LH since its a B chord, but I hear the E in the RH so I added those 16ths too. I also moved the Bs in the RH in m40-41 to the top since that is the top voice there.

Did you mean to change the left hand notes to Es as well?   If you did, I'm not sure it's such a good idea...

For m25-28, I put the dyad in the LH since I think the harp line feels better to play in the RH (maybe that's just because I'm used to playing it that way). I don't think it should be too much trouble to play since it's just whole notes and that section is pedaled so the LH has time to move to/from that part.

That's fine, but you need to adjust the dynamic in bar 25 as it's currently inside one of the notes.

I had it like that originally, but I thought it looked weird being so far down (same for m40).

Yep that's fine, I thought that might be the reason.

36
What I have right now is a constant drone with rests either when it's unreachable (when the LH plays a low octave) or the RH overlaps it. If I missed the rests on those beat 4.5s as you mentioned I'll look at that

Ah I see.  Well I'd consider writing them in anyway with parenthesis just to keep the lines clear, even if it doesn't affect the actual sound.  Also I just had another listen and there is exactly one place where they don't take a breath on beat 4.5 which is bar 8, so that bar is fine.

No, I just meant to direct the performer to continue using the pedal after the explicit lift point in the previous measure. Maybe a "con pedale" would be better here

Yeah,  I think what threw me off was the con pedale at 18 which is probably unnecessary if the pedal usage is still up to the performer there.

Maybe I just wrote it wrong? What do you hear instead?

Exactly the same ostinato pattern as everywhere else from then until 33.

Not the piano, I think I wrote out what I heard prominently in another layer

Ah I can hear the part you're talking about now, although it sounds more like A -> G -> A to me than A -> Bn -> A.

37
Sorry for the wait, but better late than never I guess.  This piece is pretty strange in that it's a mix of extremely standard stuff alongside some ... much weirder things.

-The ostinato Ds through the first 17 bars have the rests in the wrong places.  Both vocalists take their breaths at beat 4.5 every two bars without fail.  I understand the need to mess around with it when you have the low octaves to get in in bars 10, 12, 14, 16 but otherwise I don't see any reason to change it.
-Is the pedal sign supposed to indicate that the performer should hold down the pedal for the entirety of bars 10-17?  If that's the intention then that seems awfully muddy and trying it out on the piano it doesn't sound particularly convincing as an idea.
-Missing Gs in the chord on beat 1 in bars 13 and 17?
-Any reason you've messed with the rhythms at the start of each bar in the left hand in the section 10-17?  It kind of makes the first half of each bar sound a bit weird as the ostinato disappears.
-The rhythm in the melody for bar 24 should be:
Spoiler
[close]
-I'm hearing some extra bass notes in bar 33:
Spoiler
[close]
-I think I'd keep the ostinato going as is for bars 26-32 rather than changing from double hits to singles.  Are you worried about it being too strenuous on the left hand? Because it's not actually that bad to keep it up, at least for me anyway.
-There's the potential for the courtesy accidental in 36 to be confusing, but I guess the parenthesis help with that.  It's probably best how you have it but I thought I'd say anyway.
-Because of the shear number of notes in the left hand of bars 38-41 it does get pretty cramped there.  Though spreading it out to two bars a system forces you to go onto four pages which I guess you don't want to do.  I don't really know what the best thing to do is there, but it does look kind of awkward at the moment.
-I really don't think the way the final bar is written out is the best way to present that information.  The opening string of quavers is way faster than anything in the rest of the piece which, although I realise you've indicated no tempo) isn't how a reader is going to interpret it at all as they're likely going to guess that the quavers are at least roughly equivalent to the previous ones.  Also even accounting for the rit the quavers at the end of the bar are so vastly slower than the opening ones that it's pretty confusing really.  I'd definitely consider making that opening ascending pattern as small notehead semiquavers, which I think would convey the execution much more clearly, and also changing the some of the note lengths at the end instead of using a rit (if you think about it, a rit doesn't really make that much sense considering that you've just said 'without tempo', so how can the tempo slow down?).
-Also regarding the final bar, I think there's an E just before the very first F in that quaver series.  Furthermore, I'm not really hearing this A Bn A at the end?  I certainly can't hear the piano doing anything like that and the background instrument (whatever it is) seems to be alternating between Es and Fs.

Nice job though.

38
Submission Archive / Re: [PS1] Xenogears - "Crimson Knight" by Static
« on: November 20, 2019, 01:11:14 AM »
Sorry for the wait!  Nice to see more Xenogears, although I only became aware of this stuff recently.

-One concern is with the consistency in the left hand pattern.  I assume the semiquaver bits are meant to emulate the snare drum, but those patterns don't seem to be present to me at bars 30, 33 etc.
-The harp roll in bar 23 ... It's kind of hard for me to make it out exactly but the contour sounds like two upwards slides, rather than three as you have it.  I think it might also start on a C instead of a Db?  Although it certainly ends on a G like you have it.
-The two semiquavers at the end of bar 40 sound like they're on the E (that makes the sus in your right hand) rather than a bass thing.  It doesn't really give the same sort of feel the way you currently have where it de-emphasises the resolution.
-The copyright isn't properly aligned to the bottom margin.  And neither are the subtitles or page numbers (to the top margin that is).
-There's actually a pad in the background of bars 25-28 that sounds like it's playing an open C-F dyad.  Maybe it's something you'd like to include, perhaps above the line currently in the right hand?
-I think it'd make more sense to have the E on top in the chord in bar 29 since that's the line that then moves onto the melody in bar 30.
-It might be nicer to have the ff line up with the hairpin in bar 22, but perhaps that puts it too off centre.

Nice stuff.

39
Generally looks pretty good.  A few small things:

-You could spread out the whitespace on the first page a bit more as you've currently got quite a sizeable gap after the arranger info and then before the copyright.
-Are you sure about the C# in layer 2, beat 1 of bar 34?  It sounds like it should be a D to me.
-The middle tie on beat 3.75 of bar 21 could potentially look neater, but it's not a big deal.

40
All the notes look good and the arrangement is fine but just some visual things.

-The tempo marking and the swing indicator are both quite cramped together next to the staff; you could definitely let them have a bit more space.
-The mp in bar 15 could be placed more centred under beat 1.5 (that would also keep it away from the slur a bit).

Also I'll need to fix the articulations when you're done, but that's no problem.

41
I guess composed by Nintendo is probably the best we're going to get.  Looks great though.

43
Could the rest in the left hand of the pick up be a quaver then a crotchet rather than a dotted crotchet?  Other than that this looks great!

44
Looks good. Just one tiny thing: beat 2 RH notes should be connected in m. 5 and 7.

I got this and also fixed the articulations since that needed doing anyway.

45
Cool cool, looks good!

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