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Messages - PlayfulPiano

#16
Quote from: Bloop on April 25, 2023, 11:43:31 AMSorry for the wait on this! Nice job on imitating the panning and volume swell effects ^^

-m9-16: I feel like I'm missing some of the minor second crunchiness in the R.H., maybe you could add the G's and F's back in beat 2, 2.5 and 3?
-m17-end of piece: Make sure to give the L.H. some time to jump back down to the bass notes at the end of each bar. It's probably best to end the harmony part in the top staff on beat 4.5, which gives the L.H. as much time to jump down as it has to jump up.
-m33-34: Are the accent marks in the R.H. needed? It seems to be playing in the same general vibe as before, where you already mentioned that the melody should stand out. Same kinda thing in m69 and m85
-m44: Are the Ab's in the L.H. imitating that swelling sound at the start of the measure? If so, that seems to be the same as in m43, so maybe it's more appropriate to just copy the second layer of the R.H. in that measure
-m45: Maybe you could move the high string voice in a separate layer, and maybe even move it down an octave if appropriate, so it doesn't get in the way of the piano melody. In places like m47-48, the player can easily mistake the high Db and C as the piano voice, when they're just the string additions.
-m77-84: Maybe you could add some more notes in the harmony part in the top staff? There's enough room and energy to fill it out a bit more, as it sounds a bit empty without the extra voices.
-Done
-Done for most, not all of the measures. Some I kept the upper LH for beat 4.5 in places where I feel it's more needed (usually if the lh wasn't an octave). Also included a 3rd to the lower LH for that 4.5 beat so it isn't completely silent and has a downwards transition.
-Probably fair, i'll keep the accents in the musx file but make them hidden (and remove the similes as well).
-If you mean the synth strings then yeah. And I hear what you hear, but I think it's a G for m43 not Ab like m44. Included, but also removed the m44 second layer because ties were conflicting with noteheads and I couldn't get a good tie position that seemed natural and not conflict with noteheads.
-Tried my best at this, but I think there might be some visual conflicts that I'll need help correcting.
-Honestly not sure what you mean by this point, the melody is a single note for this section and the lh treble section does include some pretty weird gaps (the C/B for example).

Updated
#17
Quote from: Kricketune54 on April 10, 2023, 07:43:38 PMBefore I really get into this - want a little bit of clarity.

I know it says original soundtrack on the video, but I'm a little confused why this track is listed as a remix. Is Kuraine the actual composer, or is this a theme by Lena Raine remixed for special stages?  I've heard this track on YouTube before but never played Celeste/not that well versed in its music

Lena Raine is the composer, but she used her usertag "kuraine" as credit for this track.

This plays during the B side of the Summit chapter, in which every B side is a "remix" of the A side theme. Usually the composers of the remixers/B sides are not by Lena Raine, but this is the one case where it is (but credited as her alias not her name).

I wanted to match with proper credit as what is stated within the track.
#18

This is 19 pages long. I'm sorry in advance.
Best to break it up into sections for review/feedback, probably. The actual track is divided in 16 measure phrases (inc. repeats in the sheet), so going phrase by phrase is probably the best.

Original audio has more or less 4 separate layers: the lower ostinato, the higher ostinato at the half way point, the synth strings that alternate every two measures, and the melody that comes in with the higher ostinato.

Biggest concern probably comes with the rh ostinato in m95-m174. Not 100% sure if these notes are right, specifically if the first 16m phrase of them repeats afterwards.
The LH in the section is structured to keep with the same pattern even though the original has it constantly moving upwards. Figured that would both be better and clearer for the piano arrangement.
There might be a two hand conflict for m135-m142 as well, so advice on how to properly notate this would be really beneficial too.

Otherwise, it's just a lot of hand motions for 8 minutes and 37 seconds.
#19
Quote from: Kricketune54 on April 05, 2023, 07:51:27 PMIt's in there, a bit faint but it's there
 Yeah... relistened and I hear what you have.
  It's not really about conveying anything special. The A is quite audible and could augment the current pitches, that's all.
 Relistened to this again as well, and I'm not hearing these notes this time. Sorry about that can remove


Only other thing I have to add I tagged you on Discord about.
-I still don't hear it honestly. It's just the one high strings playing it and it definitely just moves up to a D.
-I think I do like what I did added with these measures (89-92) if you think it's fine to keep.
-Fixed.

Updated.
#20
Quote from: Kricketune54 on April 05, 2023, 11:54:02 AMSorry for a bit of a wait on this, but it seems to be in pretty good shape atm

- m7 hearing C still with the the F in the RH, actually sounds like how m9-10 are written
- m24 RH actually hearing the C continue under the high D
- m47 RH that lower layer progression is Eb-D-C-Ab-G-F, and for m48 it's Eb-D-C-Bb-Ab-G, and for m49 it's Eb-D-C-Ab-G-F
- m48 RH top layer is slightly different:
Spoiler
[close]
- m50 hearing the harp do something different for the lower RH layer:
Spoiler
[close]
is this how you had it before Bloop's feedback for this measure? If so I suppose good to keep as is

- m83 RH could have the lower of the A's on beat 2 tie into beats 3-4 and into m84 as a whole note
- m89 RH you could add an F half note and a Bb half note on beat 3 tying into m90 (Bb in between the F's) cause as is seems a bit... hollow
   - m91-92 same as above for beat 3 but with Ab

-I can't really hear it, but I'll take your word for it.
-This I actually don't hear the C under the D. Sounds like a clear note change without dissonance.
-Huh, I hear the differences now. Never caught that before. Good catch.
-I'll trust you here for this change as well.
-Changed here, but I do hear a C on the third quarter of m50. Also how I had it before was just the same as the first 6 measures with it changed at the end, so no.

Also after changing it, god damn does it sound so good.

-Not sure why I would have that? Doesn't seem to be necessary nor do I really hear it on playback either. Also doesn't really convey anything special to the performer all things considered.
-I'll include this because I do hear some strings that I'm not 100% sure what the notes are, but the added sound should probably help yeah.
-Same as the above but I'll exclude the F for b1 because I don't think a full proper chord structure sounds right to include for this score in general.

Updated.
#22
Quote from: XiaoMigros on March 30, 2023, 01:37:21 AMI think wondrous is still a little too upbeat; atmospheric seems like the perfect choice to me

aight, changed and updated
#23
Probably "Wondrous" would work here.
#24
nvm am a dumbass, entire time on playback I forgot that Gb wasn't in the key signature, so I was listening to F/G instead of F/Gb.

yeah that works, changed and updated.
#26
Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 20, 2023, 07:21:16 AM"Lifeformed" can be removed.
 Yes it is.
Relistened and my feedback more applies to m34, and m38 except for beat 4.5. I hear extra dissonance from the F moving to Gb but then back to F on 4.5.
 Okay.
 
relistened and I think you're right about Ab on top.
 Huh, I definitely can hear the lower layer in m91. Now not sure why I didn't earlier
 
 

Additional Stuff

The simile text (ex. m35,71,79) that replaces the accent symbols in the top RH layer would make more sense if it were above the top layer rather than adjacent to the bottoms RH layer. And to loop back, I think the simile in m3 might go better if it was under the LH Gb as opposed to above it (I keep looking at the simile thinking it applies to the RH here)

Also small bit I hadn't though to address and I'm not familiar with TUNIC or this track, but is "Cheerful" the right performance text? To me this song sounds more hopeful or determined than cheerful, and I'm not sure cheerful is the emotion I really feel with all these minor chords lol. Obviously a subjective opinion on my part with this bit but wanted clarification
-Removed the nickname.
-Ok so relistening I think it's broken into b1/b2 and b3/b4, where the former has the higher pitch dissonance and the latter is the same as m33/m37. Although I don't think it's just Eb/G, that doesn't sound right. I do hear the note moving up in some fashion, though.
-Fixed the simile text positions, put them all above treble clef (including m3 because the simile also affects the right hand's accents).
-Don't think hopeful or determined is the right word choice. Probably look at the first 10ish minutes of the game in some no commentary video to get an idea of what the vibe of the track is, if you want. But basically it's like, idk, the start of link's awakening if you want some kind of comparison, although more in that "this is a world I never saw before, just got thrown into, and want to explore" vibe.

Won't update the submission yet, will once we figure out the weird notes in m34/m38.
#27
Piano Arrangements / Re: PlayfulPiano's Arrangements
March 09, 2023, 01:12:12 PM
Added "Low-G Botany" from the Celeste Strawberry Jam Collab!

Also included "Memories of Memories" from (MUL) TUNIC because I forgot to include it before.
#28
Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 08, 2023, 06:57:39 PMI checked out this games credits sequence and vgmdb and I think Terence Lee and Janice Kwan are all that's necessary for the composer credits, no nickname needed.

Continued feedback

-m3-4 and m7-8 I don't think the Gb is actually present in the RH

-m33-34 and m37-38 the F's sound more like Gb to me. Note the difference between this note in m35 for example.
-At m44 I meant I don't hear the Ab outside of the RH.
-m85-90 RH I am hearing the lower layer going between D and C primarily not F and Bb. See attached image for what I'm hearing

-Speaking of m90 I'm not hearing the lower layer part here. I suppose it fades out in a muffled fashion, but have you considered maybe havin the 2nd RH layer be a chord bottom to top like Bb-C-Eb-Bb? Could have it come in on beat 1.5 like the other lower RH layer parts.
   - Is there a reason for having hidden decrescendos throughout?

Overall main feedback I have is that RH lower layer specifically for those 16th note sections. The first note of this rhythm is not alone, and unless that was an arranging decision I would go back, relisten and then write those in.

Examples of missing notes in the RH Lower Layer:
-m19-20 and similar RH lower layer I hear a Gb above the Eb's
-m73-74 I hear a Gb played with the Ab in the RH part
-m89-90 Bb and Fn above Db
-Changed the Gb to a Bb3 instead, this I think is closer?

-I tried replacing the F with a Gb and it honestly just sounds a lot worse and conflicting on playback. Keeping this as an F for now.
-Oh, that is based on the synths/strings that play about a half beat later, but only hit max volume at around the 2nd beat. Even if it's not perfectly accurate, I think it resolves well for the solo piano arrangement at least.
-I changed it to an alternating Ab/Db C F/Db C now. A full Bb minor chord seems too dense, and I think it's an Ab on top not a Bb. Should be better though.
-It's definitely audible on playback, all the way to the end of m91, although yes it gets more muffled and quieter as time goes on. The hand structure here is also better suited to stay in the LH for the bottom treble layer, since the final m92 chord is played best with the Gb2 and Bb3 played with the left hand.
-Hidden dynamics are due to the track channels being saved separately for the LH and RH, this is so playback dynamics stay in sync with intended sheet dynamics.

-I don't really hear this Gb? It's more layered, sure, but I don't hear Gb specifically.
-Again, I don't really hear this Gb (maybe it's a harmonic from the bass clef?), and I think this section specifically should keep to 1 note for the lower layer ostinato for clarity and quiet buildup.
-This circles back to the m85-m90 feedback.

Otherwise updated.

Edit: just caught that I had saved over two measures of me testing out on playback one of the feedback suggestions that I didn't include, that's fixed now.
#29
When listening to the original, it sounds like the E -> D -> C chord progression goes up then down rather than down a whole step for each chord. It might be in a different inversion for the D major chord?
#30
Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 28, 2023, 02:37:18 PMSorry for the wait, I've been meaning to post some stuff for a while. I have enjoyed playing parts of this past couple weeks, sounds great on piano

Should the credit be to Terrence "Lifeformed" Lee and Janice Kwan? I see he has a commonly used nickname which is also the name of the channel you linked. Not a big deal but I know we still put Toby "Radiation" Fox on sheets for example

And at the bottom of the page, Shinji (publisher) should be credited. I don't know what LOOPDISK is and didn't find it in any description for the game so feel free to elaborate.

Formatting
-m7-8 and m15-16 LH 16th beaming on beat 3 should like like m11-12
- page 7 the top system is very high. Perhaps lower the systems on this page, or all the pages if you are looking to be consistent between pages 6-11


Notes
- m1 the Ab's from what I can tell continue on with the Bb's, they don't drop off after beat 1.5. in m2
- m1-16 RH beats 3 and 4 do not sound like a half note, I hear them as eigth notes just like beats 1 and 2. Was this an arranging decision or did you hear what I'm hearing as echos as opposed to notes decreasing in dynamic/fading out?
- m1, m3, m7 LH beat 4.75  I hear this as a C#/Db instead of Eb. Similar to m11 and m15. At m5 I hear it as a Cn.
- m2 LH beat 4.0 and similar I hear this as an Ab as the first note of this 16th grouping.
- m41 either delete the Ab from bottom of RH or top of LH.
- m42 LH I think Eb is more appropriate than Db here
- m44 LH there is no movement on beat 2 so this chord can continue to be held out.
- m47-48 and m51-52 RH beat 1 I would suggest removing the Bb in m47 and the C in m48. I know they're supposed to be that high "flute" (?) that is held out and moves from Db to C, but m48/52 in particular sound like the player goofed
   - I would say the same for m59 and m60 RH beat 1. You can see what others say if you want but I think this is just trying to fit a little too much

I'll fix the formatting issues, but unsure what you mean by p7. To me, it looks even with the rest of the systems. LOOPDISK is what I found via the copyright of the OST itself on bandcamp, so it might be who owns the OST specifically. I included both Finji and LOOPDISK in the copyright.

Edit 2023/03/03: After discord feedback, now I understand the issue with the page formatting and that's now fixed.

-The half note / drop off in the right hand is a stylistic choice, I'm aware it continues on throughout. I felt though that for piano specifically, having it fade out and held while keeping the Eb/C continue had a better sound.
-Same as above
-I fixed the Cn, but on playback, the Dbs sound kinda, wrong, at least for the phrases that are Ab focused. For the ones that are Gb focused, I made the change.
-Changed but kept the note to be the same as the one for beat 4.75 (so Ab - Ab, Gb - Gb). Didn't change page 2's versions because those sounded fine on playback.
-Removed the upper RH Ab.
-I kinda like the Db here more, but it's hard to tell vs the original.
-Assuming you mean write the Ab octave as a second layer? Sure.
-Honestly when I played these chords on piano proper, it never really sounded like a "goof" to me. Just intentionally dissonant. I'll keep those as is for now.

Updated for things that were mentioned as changed.