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Messages - Bobbythekid21

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-You wrote in the mordent in bar 1, but there are lots of other melodic flourishes throughout the piece that you haven't written in.  For example, in bars 12, 16, 20, 24, 28 and 33.  (Those are the ones I spotted, I only said 'for example' because there might be others I've missed.)  I'd really suggest adding these in, as they really help to give this piece its flavour.

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-In bar 4 (and similar places), I personally would have gone with something like this:
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It's one of those things that's really easy for the performer to do and is more fitting than just a generic chord on that note (at least in my opinion).
I didn't do this mainly because I don't know how to do that.

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-In bar 5 (and the subsequent bars) I'd write the lower part in a separate layer exactly as it is in the original.  Like this:
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Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-From bar 9 to bar 24 everything is an octave too high, so remove the 8va and change the 15ma to an 8va.  It also saves you from using the 8va -> 15ma transistion, which I'm not a huge fan of.
Ok, so I took both of them out but I don't know how to add an 8va so there is none at the moment, if you could add one or tell me how that would be great.

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-The Ab in bar 36 should be a G# like you have in bar 40.
I thought I fixed that already... Oh well, it's fixed now, that's all that matters.

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-More of a general comment for the whole sheet, but some of the staccatos don't feel right to me.  For example, I'd remove the staccatos on the semiquavers in bar 4 and if you're going to put a staccato on the third RH quaver of bar 3 then the sixth quaver should probably have one too.  There are others though; I'd have a look through the sheet and really think carefully about where you need the staccatos to go.
-Another general comment about the sheet: rhythm groupings.  These can sometimes be a bit tricky, especially to people just starting out at engraving, but I'll try and explain it briefly.  Latios made a pretty good guide for rhythm groupings in 4/4 but unfortunately we're in 6/8 here.  Luckily, the principle is the same: we want to group the first set of three quavers together, and then the second group of quavers together.  You'll notice in my picture of bar 5 with the new layer added in my beaming is a little different to yours, and that's because I'm following this principle.  Generally speaking, your groupings are pretty good but there are a few places (like that particular rhythmic figure that crops up all over this piece) that have incorrect groupings.  The most egregious are in the left hand in bars 36-43.  I'd have a check through the piece and see if you can fix it up so that the beats in the bar are shown correctly (but do let us know if you're struggling with that).
-Related to the above point is dotted rests.  General rule of thumb: don't use them.  There are few exceptions to that rule like dotted crotchet and minim rests in compound time (although I don't use dotted crotchet rests personally) but if you find yourself using a dotted rest (or a double dotted rest as you have in bar 45 and 49) ask yourself whether you should really be doing that, because the likelihood is that you shouldn't.  For example, the dotted quaver rests in bars 32-33 should be quaver semiquaver rests.
-Bars 36-43 are a little problematic.  Particularly the left hand changes parts part way through the phrase which feels very strange.  Latios has already shown you his mock-up which handles all of the parts very well.  Even if you don't want to use his, definitely this section needs another look at to keep the left hand consistent, if nothing else.
Tried my best to fix all this, I might have missed something though...

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-There are more harmonies in bars 25-26 and 29-30 that not including removes the progression in those bars.  Also I think they'd be better an octave lower, something like this perhaps:
I don't know if you meant to include a picture here or what... But I get the idea, I experimented some and I think making it an octave sounds a little better than what you suggested.

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PM-There's a lot more you could do with dynamics than simply forte for the entire piece.  For example. the section bars 36-43 could definitely do with a lower dynamic, perhaps piano.  I'd have a closer think about how you could use the dynamics the translate the feel of the piece over to piano better.
I changed 36-43 to mezzo-piano, and you're right, it sounds a lot better now.
Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PMHere's the file (file); feel free to use it!
That is a musx file. As you know, I'm stuck with notepad 2012 and I can only open mus files. You can see here under "Converting to Finale 2012 from 2014 and later" how to export to a mus file if you didn't already know.
Also, do select all to copy and paste?
Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PMThese can sometimes be a bit tricky, especially to people just starting out at engraving, but I'll try and explain it briefly.
Also, I've never done engraving before.  ;)
I never had a chance to play SMG2 :( but the original SMG is in my top 5 favorite videogames of all time.
Forum Games / Re: Whoevers post last wins. New rule.
March 10, 2019, 03:02:35 PM
Omgosh that was long... Also, you already posted this in jokes.
Quote from: AmpharosAndy on March 10, 2019, 12:43:24 PMI burnt my thumb ow
Ouch. One time, on the 4th of July (Independence Day in America), my aunt wasn't paying attention and was shoving a punk into my thumb, I didn't even notice until there was a nice big bubble... (She's legally blind so I don't hold it against her really but it didn't feel good.)
Off-Topic / Re: Politics
March 10, 2019, 02:57:13 PM
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Piano Arrangements / Re: Bobbythekid21's Arrangments
March 10, 2019, 02:52:02 PM
Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 01:59:54 PMProbably not what you wanted to hear, but I thought that it was better to say something.
Honestly, it was not what I wanted to hear, in fact I was afraid of it, but I appreciate it none the less. Thanks. I was going to try Dungeon and Ocean from Terraria next but I think I'll get to work on Vivi's Theme for now.
Forum Games / Re: The NSM Guess-That-Melody Quiz!
March 10, 2019, 07:15:38 AM
Eh, yeah I got the first one but I never submitted it. I also don't feel so bad about not knowing the other ones. I've never heard of most of them and I've only played Super Mario 64.
Ok, it is now. Sorry about that.
Gaming / Re: My Indie Game Ideas
March 08, 2019, 05:43:39 PM
  • Added percussion to Smaragdine Smoke, Cherry Smoke, and Sunlight.
  • Fixed some volume issues with the mixer.
  • Sunlight, now with swing!
That is all.
Quote from: Latios212 on March 08, 2019, 11:10:41 AMWent over the Super Mario Maker one for now since I have a free moment. Pasted it into a template to automatically fix most of the formatting errors...

There still remains some work to be done, just giving it a look, but most of the formatting should be ironed out for now.
Thank you so much!  :)
Site News / Re: New Monkeys!
March 08, 2019, 10:52:39 AM
Off-Topic / Re: The Introduction Thread
March 08, 2019, 09:54:22 AM
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 08, 2019, 09:09:22 AMHello! My name is Code and I've been lurking on the main site and playing through all the wonderful arrangements here since I was 13 years old, but now that I'm more experienced I'm hoping to contribute some of my own work. I'm mainly a trumpet player but video game music is one of my passions.
Welcome to the forum Code!