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Messages - Kricketune54

#1
Great! I will now accept
#2
For sure! I will now accept
#3
Apologies, this one did fall off for me earlier in the month and I never finished some feedback I was working on previously.

• The tempo is actually a fair bit faster at 140 bpm
• For the first two measures of the song, I'm hearing the following in the RH (attached screenshot of what I hear). m3 also sounds to be the same as m1 rhythmically. The same rhythms/notes are also at m41-43 RH
   • Overall I would note that anywhere there's an Eb and Gn or a Fn and Dn in the RH, there is likely a Cn and Bn below each respectively.
• m12,m16 m20 and m24 LH 1.75 sounds like Dn, and 2.5 is Fn
• m34,35,37,38 LH beat 4 I hear these as two 8th notes. m35 and m38 the notes should be Gn and F# as opposed to An and Gn.
• m41 LH 3.75 this Dn should be down an octave
• m25 LH 4.5 and m26-32 beat 2, you could add an octave above each of these current pitches (hearing as such)
#4
I'm fine the rests as you have, only things I have to comment on are the following:

• Ichiro Shimakura is not listed as a composer for this game, apologies if I missed a discussion on this elsewhere if this a track remix that I'm not aware of.
• m5 LH beat 4.5 sounds like it's not staccato
• m8 RH you could clear up those ties a little more so nothing is cutting through noteheads, but it's not the biggest thing in the world.
#5
Quote from: Static on February 24, 2024, 01:40:25 PMOh huh I somehow missed that was even there, although did you mean G#3-4? I'm hearing it in that lower octave. Added

Did you mean to do m13 instead of m9? And I think I here it as you have it now, didn't pick up that lower octave correctly the first time.
#6
Quote from: Fernman on January 20, 2024, 09:44:34 AMAdjusted to an En on beat 1 and Cn in the rest of the measure.
Not sure I understand why you only changed beat 1? Listening to the measure, I hear An and En for the two notes that would most make sense in the LH.


QuoteIt has been a long time since I've seen Xiao's feedback. And I appreciate all of your team's feedback. The reason for the recent change was I received some feedback elsewhere on the accidentals in m34, m35 and others like it that it should be a Db and Gb and not a Db and F# like I had before. Then I thought about note consistency and changed all F#'s to be Db's. not remembering the earlier feedback.  No disrespect implied.

As for the entire arrangement being keyless... while I uploaded it as you suggested, you'll have to educate me on why that is. If the goal is to eliminate accidentals, the song adds a lot of flats throughout the song that are not just passing tones.
Let's come back to this. At this point, I would like to go section by section because I think individual accidentals can be discussed in a more productive way than I was attempting.

QuoteI'm not sure what a "key switch with a button press" is, but I see what you mean on being keyless, at least at the start. m2, I switched the Bb to a A# since it is an augmented D chord.
This particular chord at m2 is actually Bbmaj, so it would be Bb not A#.

QuoteIf I were to have key signature changes, m4 would be G maj (since there are Cn's)
No, in this case the chord is Dmaj, so if the key was changing at each section, it would change to Dmaj, not Gmaj. I would not focus on the Cn in this particular instance because there are not Cn's until m8, when the chord changes from Dmaj to Gmaj. Not going to go through every example here for sake of time that you've pointed out, but (see continued response for the below quote as well)

QuoteMaybe what I had before the whole song being Bb is incorrect, though now that you've pointed this out, what are your thoughts about it having key signature changes in each section.
The point of suggesting the keyless/A minor was because of this song's starting chord, and by the fact that the chord changes/progression don't quite facilitate a key with multiple flats or sharps in my opinion.

One thing I want to distinguish for you just to be clear from the previous point, chord changes do not necessitate a key change for the song. Accidentals are added in for these, this is a bit of a tricky track because the melody moves around a lot; I've seen Area 6 written entirely in Dmaj before for example, and I personally disagree with that because there are a lot of Cn's that then have to have natural accidentals added.

Linking that particular transcription in question though, I think it would help otherwise in showing you the particular chords. I think it is those varied chords that make this song particularly difficult to arrange/transcribe. https://www.vgleadsheets.com/view/star-fox-64/area-6?transposition=C#


Edit: one small thing I noticed when looking at the sheet, for m31 RH, it is not generally recommended to write dotted 8th notes with a staccato as the note length is somewhat ambigous (subdividing a dotted note is weird and not really useful to a performer reading it). Rather, write 8th note, followed by 16th rest
#7
Alright, going to mark this one as approved. I have made file updates to the submitted files, please give them a review if there is anything you see that needs to be changed, please let me know
#8
Quote from: Bloop on February 20, 2024, 04:51:13 AMDo you think it's worth adding one in m13 too, or add parentheses to the one in m9? As it might look weird to see one in m9 but not in m13.
Added accidental to m13.


QuoteOops, I meant m23's R.H. (as compared to m22), not m24. Either way, if you do still hear an En in m23, it should be a Fb too.
Ah okay gotcha. I hear that Eb in m23 and have fixed it.

Files updated, made an additional update to the rhythms at m22-23 RH.  Felt like it was a bit difficult and too contrasting in style to do that 8th-2 16th's rhythm compared to the measures that follow, so made it all 8th notes.
#9
If I was a resident, this track doesn't sound so evil, which would confuse me


Only thing I'd suggest adding is you could add for RH m5 and m9 on beat 1 a double octave quarter note with G#4 and G#5 as both octaves. Could also accent this note
#10
Quote from: Bloop on February 20, 2024, 05:00:46 AMIt is alright right? Anyway I noticed m29's notes and rest weren't reduced in size yet, so I fixed that :p

Ah, I think what happened is I had switched to the PDF, and scrolling up and down comparing rests distorted. Nothing else from me though, I approve
#12
Not much to say here as well, m72 and m92 RH 1.0 this note has a little more space than the others, you could add a staccato to it.
#13
Nearly there with this!

• m7 you could add an dynamic, this would show the player to return to mf from mp after the repeat.
• m18 RH 1.0 the 8th rest could be the normal 8th rest height - whenever you have multiple layers, so long as there are no collisions or notes and rests ending up too close, put the rests to the height they would normally be (ex. m19 beat 1)
• m26 LH not hearing the Fn's on the bottom for those 3 beats. For 3.5, the Bn on bottom should be a G.
• m28 LH 4.5 top En should be Cn, 5.5 the An on bottom is a Gn
#14
Sorry for a bit of a wait here, but this seems pretty solid from my ongoing reviews.

• m14 LH you could adapt the specific beats/pulsations the same way as m9, m11, and m13, etc. unless you were just trying a sort of every other measure approach between that and tremolos
• m53 RH 1.0 the 8th rest should be reduced size?
• I'm not sure what you're preference is or if it's changed, but did note that in some of your past sheets the stem side staccatos were over the notehead whereas here they are over the stem
#15
Understood as far as the RH clef choice. However, I do think starting at m9 you could go to treble, and add an additional melody octave above the current notes (as heard). Alternatively (or additionally), I think a forte dynamic would be appropriate at m9.

• You could move the dynamic down a bit so it's more centered between the staffs.
• from m9-16 LH I do hear 5ths or 3rd's of the LH chord root note currently present. For example G's above the C's in m9, and C's above the A's in m10 and A's above the D's in m10.
• m13 to m16 this is not really a viable in the current octave if you choose to do two melody octaves from m9 to the end, but I do hear some held notes like the following (screenshots of m13 and m16)
Spoiler
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