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Messages - Kricketune54

#16
Changes look good! Approved
#17
Thank you, eh not too big on that sitting on top of melody (fwiw i like the flute part and feel like that terminates fine as is)
#18
Quote from: Bloop on March 16, 2024, 01:18:28 PM-m4: You could add the B in beat 2 in the R.H. (or in the L.H.): it sounds like it's also part of the high piano/glockenspiel like voice.

I think this was already addressed

Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PMOther feedback:
- The B on beat 2 of m. 4 is still there like in m. 2, but I understand if you want to omit it for simplicity

Quote from: Bloop on March 16, 2024, 01:18:28 PM-m5: I think you can add the little countermelody in beat 4-6 too (F#-G-A, an octave higher than the original so it fits in between the B octaves)
I hear this but I'm going to keep it out. The phrase continues into m6 but I don't see m6 this part working out so I think it would be weird to just have for m5

Quote from: Bloop on March 16, 2024, 01:18:28 PM]-m16: If you leave out the R.H. A on beat 2.5 (the 16th note), it's possible for the R.H. to hold the D while playing the flute line.
Good point! removed the A


Quote from: Bloop on March 16, 2024, 01:18:28 PM-m17: As for the flute line, I think you can end it on the staccato F#-A dyad on beat 1, the attention will be drawn to the E once you can't hear the F#-A anymore.

Would you mind attaching a screenshot for this? I'm not sure I understand how this would be done


Quote from: Bloop on March 16, 2024, 01:18:28 PM-m25: I'm not 100% sure, but I think I don't hear the L.H. G (but an A instead), and hear a voice going A-G#-A in beat 1-3 which you could put in the R.H.
I'm still hearing this

Files updated except for what I've asked about/stated, thank you!
#19
Nice job all, pretty minor stuff from my go through

Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 21, 2024, 02:40:15 PM
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performance note for the wrong mk8 note?
(0:36)
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Wrong note? I hear it quote clearly as an Fn in both. I take it you refer to m21 LH beat 3.25?

• m5 you could lower the mf a little to center between the staffs
• m26 RH 4.5 hearing two 16th length grace notes Bn and Cn
#20
Okay! Updates look good and approved. If the next updater has any opinion on the last bit as far as potentially correcting mistakes in a recording, certainly will leave that up to your decision.

Quote from: Latios212 on March 18, 2024, 09:43:51 AM- Wikipedia lists Marcin Przybyłowicz and Mikołaj Stroiński as composers. Is Percival an alias for the latter?
Yes it is
#21
Sure thing, looks good for me to approve!
#22
Thank you Radiak for your feedback! Arranger/community sub feedback is greatly appreciated :)


•  m8 RH I do hear an Fn among the pitches for beat 1. I agree the Eb is more prominent but it seems like the Fn would represent a more consistent pitch movement throughout this song.
• m16 RH lower layer you could add accented staccatos to beat 1.33 and 1.66, or at the least staccatos - I know the pedal is being applied. but I think it would just contrast the trumpet entrance from the melody a bit more like in the original.
• m16 also for beat 2 LH you could make this a tremolo to repesent the  roll
• m22 RH 2.66 I hear an An next to the Bb, but this seems like an either/or situation (ugly sounding with both). I personally like the An better but up to you haha
#23
Quote from: Bloop on March 13, 2024, 04:30:13 AMthe ladies like to chop things yes, but not wood:
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Oh...

Quote from: Bloop on March 13, 2024, 04:30:13 AMI didn't notice the higher choir voice at first, but I think I'd rather keep it as is to imitate the slow rising effect and still have time for the L.H. to jump down to the low G in m2.
Got it. Is it that much to jump down for m2? Not because of an error or anything just would think since there's two beats of rests the LH shouldn't be a challenge for moving from the tremolos

Quote from: Bloop on March 13, 2024, 04:30:13 AMI think I still hear it as I currently have? But I also arranged the bass notes to imitate the percussion hits, so I'm going to call it intentional phrasing haha.
I pitched up and still hearing as I had heard, but I am fine with the phrasing as is in this case.

Quote from: Bloop on March 13, 2024, 04:30:13 AMI think I'd rather keep it to fill up the beat, since it's on beat 2.5
Ah good point.

• Relistened, slowed down and played with pitching up octave, I think for m6-9 RH beat 2-3 are a half note as opposed to two quarters. I think the same half note instead of two quarters also applies for m14-17 as well (for both layers).

Although it is a performance, I would submit this as evidence, as it is performed by the composer.
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• m18 and m20 RH it sounds like there is no Dn on beat 6
• Looks like in m35 the tremolos got separated, can just fix that
#24
So only thing I had a question about is why is the title called "Success!" for the second sheet when the video title is "Finish!"?

Edit 3/18 noticed dynamics missing, you could add mf. Think "Success" (or whichever decided upon name) would be better as a single bar
#25
Okay. I feel like this part is similar enough that it captures m3 and m19 enough. Fine to be used in two places. Will accept, but will be making a number of edits as the file appears to have gotten jumbled between the copy paste.


EDIT
following updates made:
- updated formatting to new template
- Fixed staccato placement for 2nd layers (above notehead)
- moved some rests around
- moved 8va to more reflect recommended formatting
#26
Okay! I ended up doing con/senza pedale at the parts you outlined.
#27
    Thank you all for the feedback!  ;D  Did not realize this was going to be so popular...


Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PM- The B on beat 2 of m. 4 is still there like in m. 2, but I understand if you want to omit it for simplicity
Yeah for simplicity and I think it's weird to omit it and then have it sort of reappear in the second half of its phrase.

Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PM- The offbeat dyads in the second half of m. 7 could have A instead of B (Bm7 chord)
Before reading this feedback, I made the change haha

Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PM- m. 19 beat 4 RH: I think A first the harmony here more than B
Yep agreed there! Fixed
Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PM- m. 23-24 - probably best to have the LH fill in the rest of the bar instead of having rests
Good point, fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 05:15:56 PM- m. 23 beat 1 RH: to me, just sounds like C instead of CM7 (C instead of B on the bottom)
Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PM
I hear CM7
Okay yeah relistening, the Bn I have is definitely just leftover decay from the Bn in m22. Fixed

Quote- When having rolled chords at the start of a bar especially when not at the start of a system (e.g. 23-24) I'd recommend adding some space to the beginning of the measure (like 0.05 in.) to pad it a bit so the wavy line isn't squished
Good point, I have added some extra space for those measures.

Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 08:53:33 AMSomewhat related, I think it'd be helpful to indicate pedal usage for parts of the piece. (I'll come back and check the rest of the sheet sometime soon!)
Formerly had some pedal marks in this originally for m21-24, took them out before submitting, but it sounds like that was not the right choice. Have added them back.




Quote from: cashwarrior1 on March 07, 2024, 08:00:19 AM
  • m12 LH b2 sounds like B rather than F# to me
Agree with Latios to hearing both, added the Bn though

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on March 07, 2024, 08:00:19 AM
  • m27 RH b4-6 there's a harmony going C - B - C here
Added this harmony, think I missed this because those instruments were sort of being represented in the LH.
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on March 07, 2024, 08:00:19 AMOH, also you should put slurs over the melody and on b1 of the LH for m5-11, 13-15, 17, 18 as well as in the arpeggios at the end
Quote from: Latios212 on March 07, 2024, 08:53:33 AMI feel like this is up to personal preference; it's pretty apparent where the melody is and how it's phrased. I tend to omit them unless there's a specific way I want the melody to be articulated or to differentiate it from a countermelody. Totally valid though if you want!

To both your points, I think I do like the idea of having slurs on the melody, so I have added them selectively. I don't feel they are necessary for the LH though.

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on March 08, 2024, 09:04:56 AMIn the RH, instead of A and C on b5, though its more that I hear the flute go up to the E then jump down to B rather than walk down.
I think I can pick up what you're hearing, but it doesn't sound like an actual played pitch to me, so I'm leaving as is.




Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PMm8 b2 I hear a G in RH and b5 I hear a harpoid down the octave but the synth line is playing up an octave (of what is written). I think it is best to leave the RH in step wise motion.

To notate the harpoid, I would probably write the LH as thirds, and put it as an Octave in the RH with parenthesis on the bottom B, otherwise just notate the synth up the octave.
Wow I've been mishearing that note for years haha, I tend to not agree with the octaves being mentioned though, as the Bn's are resolving down from the previous measure, and I hear the harpoid (LH layer 2) in the octave I have it currently.

Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PM
I hear m16 b4 as solo B everything else as Kricketune has it.
Still hearing Dn and Bn, I think just the way the pitches are repeated between the two flutes it becomes a little harder to make out.

Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PMI hear an A fourth above the E m17 b1 RH as well.
I've excluded this An and the fall/gliss due to it being on top of the melody

Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PM
I also don't hear an F#, I hear a B, and an E (tied over b2 & b3)
For the En, I chose to represent this pitch within the RH, I hear it start on beat 1, not 2.

Quote from: goldenscruff on March 08, 2024, 03:27:45 PMm25 b2, b3 I hear a G# and A a third below RH. Are these notes missed or omitted for playability?
Relistening, I hear these pitches, I think I would prefer to exclude them because I think it makes the RH a bit too full, I was going for a bit of a balance between the LH being a bit more rounded out and having additional chord notes only on beats 1.0 and 2.0 in the RH. Open to majority opinion if others agree with goldenscruff on this though!


Thanks everyone! I've updated my files. I also made some spacing changes with the added slurs

[/list]
#28
Great! Approving, just fix the below before the next updater:
• m1 m2, and m20 you could add a little more space (.05 in) with the measure tool to the beginning part of the measure, just to give the roll some more space.
#29
Quote from: Fernman on March 11, 2024, 07:14:25 PMRegarding the dotted eigth & sixteenth, I would rather keep it as written as I too interpret it as "play it short" instead of divide by 2.
Okay, will not make any changes there.

Quote from: Fernman on March 11, 2024, 07:14:25 PMRegarding m13, I wouldn't compare it to m11 because technically both voices currently arranged overlap in the OST, so it would be separate articulations.
Not sure how to go about resolving this. I uploaded the file to Bandlab and recorded what I heard as separate articulations in the original, ptiched up, and slowed down pitched up.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VUtDaaRPLdwv9n4NVF-JryUjPz8XrKWv?usp=sharing

Musically it makes more sense to have a rearticulated note to keep the song going than a held note that keeps it less interesting.

Or we agree to disagree.

I'm still hearing it as a held pitch - but clearly Bloop didn't say anything about it and at this point I'm fine with saying 2 to 1 on this and keeping it as you have it. Just for future reference though, when I was saying pitching up, I should have clarified I meant I was pitching up the track a full octave. That's one way to pull out basslines easier and also to theoretically make situations like this a little clearer. I use Audacity, I assume Bandlab has that same pitch up by octave feature, but here's a screenshot of what it looks like in Audacity.
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Quote from: Fernman on March 11, 2024, 07:14:25 PMOk I hear what you are pointing out on m19. I'm not trying to blend the horn and the low notes you pointed out. I don't like the low notes themselves because they are boring half notes, and the horn is mostly present in the RH, and if I include the horn in the LH it will force me to add the triplets in the LH, which makes it lots more complicated to play against those 16th notes.

Instead I want to take descending tuba heard in m3. It fits well.

If this is not acceptable I can switch back the strings which would require me switching measures 20 to be like measure 4.

This seems atypical to our standards, to take exact heard phrase from one measure and to then take over to another whole measure as a matter of preference. Personally, I've never seen it and don't really like the idea of it - what are your thoughts on the following quarter notes instead: Bn An Gn En? These are more in line with the held notes and chords anyway, and still maintains that rhythm you want.

Quote from: Fernman on March 11, 2024, 07:14:25 PMNo, since it is a grand march I'm thinking it can't go less than mf. Only moving between mf and f. and move deliberately in m28 than a gradual increase over many measures.  I'm good with no dynamic markings.
Added
Okay! Was just an idea but it is a fairly consistent piece dynamically so not a big deal to me

QuoteYou may do whatever formatting to the staccato you'd like. the staccatos don't seemed well placed in finale and if I have to drag around that dot, I'll pass.
Will get to this after your response on m19. Otherwise I have nothing else to add
#30
This goes pretty hard, feels like I need to go chop wood or run around in the forests of Eastern Europe

• There is no tempo mark on this sheet. Without it I'm also not really sure I understand why 3/2 was chosen over 6/4. It seems like the beat is much easier to follow in 6/4?
• Credit should be to CD Projekt Red, and for year 2015
•  for the 2nd RH tremolo in m1, I think I'm hearing F#/En instead of Dn.
• m27 LH it sounds like the Ab comes in an 8th note beat earlier than in the original, though seems like that screws up your upper LH layer. LMK if intentional phrasing
• m35 RH you could add a Cn grace note on beat 1 (to the upper Dn)
• m35 LH I guess depending on time sig decision could end up getting rid of top layer LH 8th rest (the second one)