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Messages - Kricketune54

#31
• I don't know if you have the flexibility to make this update- but the measure per system is a bit cramped for parts of page 1. You could try 5 measures per system for the entire arrangement, or 4 if there parts that look cramped with 5

• I spent a lot of time looking at the first 16 bars of this and listening. Here's what I think would work best (I need to still do a review of the LH a bit more at m7-8) for the RH and some of the LH. Lmk your thoughts on these potential changes, more or less I did my best to parse out the melody and incorporate other parts going on. Feel free to add accents and such, I didn't take that much time to look at that more just to correct notes

Edit Ideas for m1-m16 (Dropbox Link)

• m8-m16 I think the LH at this point should switch to the bassline. I like the idea of your part that you made for m1-8 incorporating a few different parts, but again have to look at it a bit more.

Quotem20 and m28 unsure what to change about inner notes
On the inner notes - I meant that it's typically easier to play multiple notes at the start of a phrase than on beat 2 for example (looking at current m19). But also, having a chord at the start of a measure when it is heard in the original source at the start just makes sense from a setting the chord tone and accuracy standpoint. So at m17 for example beat 1 in the RH would be spelled out as An-En-Cn-An

I would usually advise against using other arrangements as reference - this one in particular sounds like it is more a transcription than an arrangement. While we strive for accuracy here, we also strive to make sure arrangements are playable (not that yours isn't, but there are some things that this arrangement you linked would not be playable unless you had three hands, to confirm your suspicions).

However one thing I do think I picked up on from this linked arrangement which differs from how you arranged is that the melody on your sheet is placed up an octave from m17 and on. Usually we try to make sure the melody stays in its original octaves and move down harmonies unless there's some part that's more important at some point in a song.

So with that said I think you could make some changes to your current RH part from m17 and on and move the notes to their original octave where applicable - may need to make modifications to the LH as a result (looking at page 2), but as I said in my first post, there is a lot to go through so I'm trying to keep things manageable. As a starting point for adjusting the LH, could follow what I did for m9-16 LH, which is just the bassline basically.
#32
Hi apologies for the long time this went without feedback. There's going to be a lot I have to review more specifically between m5-m52,but to start off here's a few things I noticed in the notes.

• m1 RH beat 3 - there's actually a 32nd rest on 3.0, and then the F# currently on 3.0 is 32nd length right after the rest. This applies to m2-4, m29-32, m41-m48 RH part's.

Separately, I think tonally the LH chords are wrong for m1-4, and also apply for later LH measures as well.
•m1 En as the root in m1 beat 1 for example I think makes it sound E minor, when I think it would better to start the roll at Gn. I'm hearing the chord top to bottom as: Gn-Dn-Bn-F#. Then beat 3 it shifts to Bn-Gn-Dn-Gn (taking full advantage of the roll)
• m2 There's a bit more in the chords here, but I think these would work well (again top to bottom) C#-An-F#-En for beat 1, and beat 3 An-En-C#-F#
• These chords apply to m29-32, m41-m48 as well

• m53-56 I would relisten here. There's a lot more notes that could be added to fill out chords for the LH to play.
#33
Project Archive / Re: Bloop's Aquatic Project Sheets
August 30, 2024, 08:58:00 AM
Quote from: Bloop on August 29, 2024, 11:05:50 AMI think that might be a weird cut-off in the ost version, in this video at 1:32 you can hear the G# at the end:
Though I think in all three times it stops at a different point in the loop, so it probably just loops until the boss reaches the ground.
Oh you are totally right! Never played TP but listening to this gameplay can hear as you have it.

Quote from: Bloop on August 29, 2024, 11:05:50 AMI think that fade in is also a weird ost thingy, I can kiiinda hear it in the video above (after the Deku Toad jumps part) but it sounds as if the real loop begins at beat 1.
Agree with you as well here, can hear from the video as you have it.

Just one last question, did you mean to make the end line of the rubato a dashed line? If that's a standard thing to do I may have forgotten/don't know the reasoning

Other stuff looks good, Deku Toad approved


#34
Perfect! I accept the never ending rain (it is monsoon season)
#35
Very limited commentary from me seems to be in pretty good shape
• m3 LH beat 3 the Cn here as I understand is up an octave originally, you could move it back to that original octave and just have it in the RH second voice
#36
Quote from: Olimar12345 on August 22, 2024, 08:02:19 AMI think you were confused about this in one of my previous submissions as well. I've adjusted the scale of the document, which is why it appears smaller, in case you were curious. I do this sometimes when I feel like the music spacing will benefit.
Oh forgot bout this point or had it mixed up at the very least. I think we usually would like to skew towards keeping some elements consistently sized like the copyright/titles/headers, and by using the resize staff size tool as opposed to changing those aforementioned elements.

But minor stuff so will accept Sector 4
#37
Projects / Re: Cashwarrior1's Aquatic Update Sheets
August 28, 2024, 01:41:51 PM
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on August 22, 2024, 11:17:50 AMI think I understood that, let me know if I did it wrong lol
That looks like I meant!

• m15 I was hearing those LH notes as Bb-Fn-Bb-Fn each a quarter note not 8th notes going between octaves
• m24-m27 beat 2.0 LH I was looking at this again, is there a reason to have beat 2 and 3 raised like that?
• m43 RH 1st voice you could lower this half rest to the standard height

Took a while to digest this one but I think that's all of my commentary
#38
I'll have a bit more to say in a follow up post eventually, but I did notice it looked like the rhythm for m17-32 LH was still the same. On beat 3 specifically it should be a 16th, 8th, then 16th as opposed to 16th 16th 8th.
#39
Projects / Re: mastersuperfan's Aquatic Project Sheets
August 28, 2024, 01:22:23 PM
Bump for feedback on two sheets
#40
Bumping for arranger as it's been over a month since I left feedback and we generally try to move the projects on a bit more of a fixed timeline
#41
Project Archive / Re: Bloop's Aquatic Project Sheets
August 28, 2024, 01:19:19 PM
Quote from: Bloop on August 13, 2024, 04:02:47 AMAh yeah, you mean Dn sliding to Eb right? I hear it too now, changed the enharmonic spelling to be Fhalfdim too.
to me it sounded like there was a Dn as well in that cluster but now I honestly can't tell.

• m57 RH hearing G# on bottom beat 2 and Fn for beat 4
• m60 RH 2.75 is silent? It sounds like the Fn on 2.5 is the last not to me
• m61-64 RH current beat 4 should move to the beginning at beat 1 and then push current beats 1-3 up by one beat.
#42
Had a bit more time to do a review. I just want to give a heads up before we get pretty far along - but I think there is going to be a lot to correct here. I've jumped around a bit, but there's a lot I have to say and wanted to cover some of the bigger bits that jumped out for me first.

• One other thing is we look to have that bottom page copyright info on the first page only. lmk if you have trouble with that
• "con pedale" is sized a bit large. Usually that's a file conversion issue though because I see it says 12 pt font instead of 18 or something so can hold off for now


Note Feedback

• m1-10 would give m1-2 and m9-10 in particular a relisten. It sounds like the melody moves notes on beat 3, not on beat 2.5 (the latter 8th note half of beat 2 just for terminology clarification). Looks like currently the melody moves notes at those spots a half beat early.
• m7 RH beat 3 hearing An and Bn also under the Dn.
• m17 This applies for a few other places as well, but generally when writing out chord patterns, when there are inner notes like on beat 2, the notes are usually represented at the front end of the held notes. But in this particular measure I also disagree with the length as it sounds like the A's should be a quarter note length at most and not two beats.
• m17 LH pattern (this applies to measures that follow as well), I am hearing the rhythm's beats like this:
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• m70 to end this entire part is actually not at the end of the track - correct me if I'm misunderstanding, but this track repeats from m69 back to m9. We usually specify that arrangements should follow loops from the source song as it would be heard in game. One thing will add, reference this section compared to m1-16 before deleting as I think a lot of the RH's notes should look exactly the same for how they are in this end section.
#43
Quote from: goldenscruff on August 07, 2024, 11:08:47 PMI will wait for a third opinion.
Okay can do on that.

Quote from: goldenscruff on August 07, 2024, 11:08:47 PMm7-8 I'm not quite sure what you wanted with the rests etc. I've gone back to version 2 but added solid lines. I can't make dotted lines in notepad, and the dotted lines that I can import are restricted to being horizontal only.
The slur made more sense when I wasn't splitting the part between hands.
What you have is generally what I was thinking of, can just swap the solid lines for dotted/dashed ones later.

• m7 LH 2nd voice not sure why I didn't spot this sooner but you could just combine these notes into a dotted half note
• m16 thoughts on changing beat 3-4 of the RH to the notes that are currently in the LH for those beats? And then just making the LH a Bb like what is heard in the original.
• m17-19 RH been thinking about this particular section, but I would suggest making the LH part a bit more in line with the bassline and moving the melody back up to the RH/original octaves. Main reason I'm suggesting this is because I think the parts that are currently represented in the RH are not as prominent and it doesn't make sense to shift the melody octave for them.
• m32 LH going to suggest removing upper notes on each half note and doing maybe something like this:
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. Currently it just sounds a little off with those upper notes
• m34 LH hearing a Dn on beat 4.5 maybe you could make that in the 1st voice (change from whole note to dotted half tied to an 8th note on 4.0)
• m39 RH 1.5 is a Db
#44
• Maybe add a dashed line from m11 LH 1st voice beat 4 to m12 RH 2nd voice beat 1 (G#)? Just to show the progression.

Since that's a minor point though, I will give this my approval

Also on the box art in the far lower right corner... is that the umbrella miniboss from Kirby?
#45
• m6 beat 1 both Gn's should be up an octave, and m8 beat 1 the Fn's (match up with m2 and m4). Basically same four measure LH pattern of m1-4 applies for all the measure until m17, and then again for m27-30
• Couple other smaller things you could address - there's a lot of empty space at the bottom of page 1, you could either distribute the systems a bit wider, or maybe look to move one of the systems on pg 2 over. And on pg 2 the system at the top of the page is a bit high relative to the header info (could lower it with a couple tabs down).

Gonna hold off for now but marking for myself later, some of the 2nd notes seem  a bit difficult in the RH, might look to suggest making some modifications or or dropping some notes in second voice parts where it's a bit too difficult to do runs and manage the thumb also reaching to restrike a pitch