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Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Yoshi's Story
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Tall Tower
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

It's been a little while

Or a big while I guess

All 6 youtube links

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Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Yoshi's Story
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Overworld Themes
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

-Regarding the second layer in bar 14, I think the contour should go upwards here.  The top notes going upwards Gb -> Bb, rather than downwards Gb -> Eb.  The second chord also sounds like it should have at least three notes in it, rather than two.  The exact same point applies to the similar figure in bar 30.

I added an extra note to both, but Gb -> Eb stands out more to me than Gb -> Bb

-For the chords on beats 2-3 of bar 32, I'm hearing the same notes for the first one but with the C on top, with the C falling down to an Ab on beat 3, rather than what is currently written.

I mentioned that here although I heard something different from you

- In measure 32, the top note for the chords goes C-F, but here I made it as Eb-C even though the C doesn't play in the second one while the Eb does. This was just a compromise to preserve the motion instead of lowering the Eb by an octave or removing the C while keeping the Eb

I don't hear an Ab, but it's part of the chord so I can add that and lower the Eb after all

-In bars 38+, I can see that you've taken the most prominent note that plays on beat 2 and placed it in the bass of a chord with the other two notes coming from other harmony.  However, I think it would be better to place that note at the TOP of the chord instead, essentially inverting all of these beat 2 chords up once.  For one, it makes this note stick out more since its on the top, but it also helps to prevent these chords from becoming too muddy, which they definitely do in bars 43-45.

Yeah that works better, thanks!

-It sounds like the bass goes up rather than down in bar 45, i.e. I think the Bb on beat 1 should be an octave higher.

I lowered it because of the low Bb in the following chord, but now that they're all moved to the top I changed it

-The single dyad on beat 2 of bar 49 sounds kind of weak compared to the other bars.  Maybe throw in another Fb there?

Done

Another thing to consider is whether this piece would be better written out in sharps rather than flats i.e. C# major.  I think it would get rid of a lot of the chords involving double flats (although it will introduce some double sharps in the melody, I feel like those are easier to read) and also removes some of the extremely awkward moments like the Fb 9 chord in bar 41, which you ended up writing in half flats and half sharps because you a) didn't notice because the flats confused you or b) realised that it looked really horrible written out entirely in flats.  It's something to try out anyway and see what you think of it.

I also agree with Static that the whole thing you should be in one key, with no key change in bar 8.  As he says, the opening is like an extended dominant.

Fb9 chord? Do you mean Fb7 b9? Or the alternative Bb7/D that Static mentioned? I'm going to leave it as is for now because the double flats are horrid, but if you insist that I write it out with flats then I'll change it. Disregarding that, I tried writing it out in C# major and I think I prefer Db since there are still other sections with a lot of double sharps or naturals anyways (like m20/21)

Thanks for the feedback! The files are updated

Sorry for the wait! This looks great overall!

- You don't need the forward repeat bar at the beginning.
- Lower bass notes in m. 40/48 sound like they stay as Db instead of moving back down to C (they move in the next measure)
- Staccato placement in m. 53 where there are two layers
- I think the last RH note in m. 28 (pickup to the next phrase) is a Dn rather than Eb
- I think the dyads at the end of m. 32 and 34 would be better inverted downwards to maintain the upwards contour of those notes to the ones following them at the beginning of m. 33/35.
- m. 37 beat 4 RH should be an octave up to match the octave register of the following octave in the melodic line?
- The way the melody resolves to F in m. 6/10/18/22 suggest to me that the piece should be written in F rather than C up to m. 28. (Actually about that, I think maybe it would be better to withhold the key change to Ab until m. 37? Maybe not, looking at it again...)

Ottava Placement

Overall it looks alright, but a few things in particular:
- (not strictly necessary but) I tend to suggest using 8vb to denote an octave down just so there's no potential confusion
- That's quite a big jump between the end of m. 16 and the beginning of m. 17, might you want to lower m. 15-16 an octave, effectively extend the 8vb below what's already written?
- In contrast to the above, I'd recommend keeping the 8vb going through m. 23-24 but keeping the notes at the same pitch (so writing them an octave up similar to m. 11).
- The short one below m. 31 only probably isn't necessary; Ab isn't that far below the staff and it'd be perfectly readable without the 8va there.
- The right hands 8vas look good.

Dynamics

Yeah, there's definitely some buildup and release of tension in the original you can incorporate into the dynamics here! mf at the beginning is good. You might want to increase that to f at measure 13 or where the melody picks up at the end of 16 to differentiate the second iteration of this part from the beginning of the piece. There's also a noticeable decrease in energy in the m. 29+ section, so maybe an mp at the end of 28 where the melody pickup is. And lastly the piece builds up to its climax around m. 35-36, so you could use a crescendo there ending on f (or ff). Lastly, you'll probably want an mf (and maybe dim. before it) somewhere shortly after the last RH chord strike to return back to mf before the beginning of the loop.

Some notes in the Bass might be off, as I had trouble hearing them in some places

This is kind of a comment about the whole thing, but it sounds like the bass does a little flourish kind of thing on beat 4 of most measures. For the intro it sounds something like writing in an F on beat 4.25 in between the C and the G. Wondering if this was something you thought about? (I'm also fine with simplifying it as you have it written now.) If you're having trouble hearing the notes clearly, I'd suggest raising the music an octave and running the audio through something like AudioStretch.

We're over half way in both duration and bars!

Until the second runthrough... 

Thanks for this! Updated! (sorry for the delay)

All right. I took a few minutes to look over the section and have come up with what I have in the sheet now. Hopefully, it's a bit more accurate.

Update:

• Special Zone from New Super Mario Bros. Wii
• The Starship Sails from Super Mario Galaxy 2
• Sky Station Galaxy from Super Mario Galaxy 2
• World 5 from New Super Mario Bros. Wii
• Super Mario Bros. 3's Complete Soundtrack
• I've also published most of my Super Mario Galaxy sheets individually.