[NDS] Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version - "Lake" by Zeila

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Lake
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Zeila]

I used the tonic of the chords in some parts where there's a kick drum, even in place of some notes that are in the original because it would conflict with the RH part (e.g. beat 6 of measure 2/4/6/etc.). I also used sixteenth notes to lead into the chords on beat 4 since they gradually fade in starting on beat 3 of the original song. If some arranging decisions are questionable, then I'll try to come up with a different approach!

[cashwarrior1]

this is in 3/4

When the melody comes in in the lh at measure 9, I think you could add "melody" because I know that some readers will think that the right hand arpeggio is the focus. Either that or putting accent marks on it might help?

Then in measure 17 when the rh takes over the melody maybe put a line to show where it moves to.

Measure 23 has pedal markings running into the beaming of the lh.

It is a little confusing in measure 26 when you right "senza pedal" but then on beat 4 have chords that the rh is supposed to play while also sustaining the melody. Perhaps the bottom note of that chord could be in the lh and the top two in the rh so it'll be easier to play without pedal. Same goes for measure 34.

I'm wondering if for 30-33 you could write "optional pedal" since it would make it easier to sustain the melody and play the rh arpeggio. In general I think there are moments in this section that would sound good with pedal (and kinda need it) so maybe it would be easier to write "light pedaling" or something?


also the 3/4 thing was a joke lopl

[Zeila]

Hi, thank you for the feedback and sorry for the delay. I should be able to respond sooner next time!

this is in 3/4

This is actually in 12/16

When the melody comes in in the lh at measure 9, I think you could add "melody" because I know that some readers will think that the right hand arpeggio is the focus. Either that or putting accent marks on it might help?

I think putting accent marks on all of them would make it look too cluttered, so I put "melody" for now

Then in measure 17 when the rh takes over the melody maybe put a line to show where it moves to.

Done

Measure 23 has pedal markings running into the beaming of the lh.

oops I thought that was hidden, thanks!

It is a little confusing in measure 26 when you right "senza pedal" but then on beat 4 have chords that the rh is supposed to play while also sustaining the melody. Perhaps the bottom note of that chord could be in the lh and the top two in the rh so it'll be easier to play without pedal. Same goes for measure 34.

I'm wondering if for 30-33 you could write "optional pedal" since it would make it easier to sustain the melody and play the rh arpeggio. In general I think there are moments in this section that would sound good with pedal (and kinda need it) so maybe it would be easier to write "light pedaling" or something?

I changed "senza pedale" to "pedal as needed" and flipped the A of that chord in measure 26, but I left m34 the same

[Bloop]

-m4: The lowest dot of the dotted half note in the L.H. is touching the notehead of the second layer, moving it up a bit fixes this though.
-m9: I'm not sure if I hear the Bn and C on beat 4.5 and 5.5, I think that might just be reverb. The crescendo also suggests that those two notes should be played slightly louder than the previous note, which definitely isn't the case, so if you wanna keep them you could maybe add an accent on the Bn and C on beat 4 and 5?
-m19: The chord on beat 4 in the R.H. should be stemmed upwards.
-m24: I hear a slightly different ending in the harp/piano/pingy part here:
You cannot view this attachment.
The F on beat 5 does clash a bit with the E-G dyad in the L.H., but this clash is there in m25 beat 3 as well.. It's up to you if you wanna re-octave some parts here or just keep it as is :p
-m25: Maybe you could add parentheses or delete the Bn in the R.H., since it's being played in the L.H. as well.
-m26: Was there a specific reason you didn't keep this in 4/4 with 16ths, instead of 2/2 with 8ths? Both work if you prefer having it in 2/2, but since you haven't written the harp parts in 16ths (or 32nds in 4/4), there's not much against having it in 4/4 either.
-m28: Maybe you could add a courtesy accidental for the Bb as well in the L.H.?

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[Zeila]

-m9: I'm not sure if I hear the Bn and C on beat 4.5 and 5.5, I think that might just be reverb. The crescendo also suggests that those two notes should be played slightly louder than the previous note, which definitely isn't the case, so if you wanna keep them you could maybe add an accent on the Bn and C on beat 4 and 5?

I guess I'm just used to it being there because it sounds a little empty without the extra notes, so I'll leave those in to mimic the percussion fill and add some accents. Also I think the very last note is actually a D instead of nothing or some reverb of Bn

-m24: I hear a slightly different ending in the harp/piano/pingy part here:
You cannot view this attachment.
The F on beat 5 does clash a bit with the E-G dyad in the L.H., but this clash is there in m25 beat 3 as well.. It's up to you if you wanna re-octave some parts here or just keep it as is :p

I'm not hearing this personally, maybe someone else does?

-m25: Maybe you could add parentheses or delete the Bn in the R.H., since it's being played in the L.H. as well.

It has been terminated :latiosbeam:

-m26: Was there a specific reason you didn't keep this in 4/4 with 16ths, instead of 2/2 with 8ths? Both work if you prefer having it in 2/2, but since you haven't written the harp parts in 16ths (or 32nds in 4/4), there's not much against having it in 4/4 either.

I originally wrote out the fast harp part many years ago and worked off of that file, so I just kept it as 2/2. I think I'll leave it as is for now unless somebody feels strongly about using 4/4 instead

-m4: The lowest dot of the dotted half note in the L.H. is touching the notehead of the second layer, moving it up a bit fixes this though.
-m19: The chord on beat 4 in the R.H. should be stemmed upwards.
-m28: Maybe you could add a courtesy accidental for the Bb as well in the L.H.?

Done, thanks! And sorry for the wait!

[Bloop]

I guess I'm just used to it being there because it sounds a little empty without the extra notes, so I'll leave those in to mimic the percussion fill and add some accents. Also I think the very last note is actually a D instead of nothing or some reverb of Bn

Having them work as percussion replacement works pretty well though, I think the percussion hits are what make the reverb sound like repeated notes.

I originally wrote out the fast harp part many years ago and worked off of that file, so I just kept it as 2/2. I think I'll leave it as is for now unless somebody feels strongly about using 4/4 instead

I don't know if I would describe my preference as "strongly" haha, it comes down to what you prefer instead ^^ If you didn't know yet, there's an option under Utilities -> Change to change the note durations, which will probably save some work.

Everything else looks good, so I'll approve!
You cannot view this attachment.

[Latios212]

Alright, let's get down to it for this one! Sincere apologies for the wait.

My first request would be to use 3 measures per system throughout the A section as well. You have more than enough room to do so given half the third page is empty, and some places are awkwardly cramped like the LH of m. 13.

-m26: Was there a specific reason you didn't keep this in 4/4 with 16ths, instead of 2/2 with 8ths? Both work if you prefer having it in 2/2, but since you haven't written the harp parts in 16ths (or 32nds in 4/4), there's not much against having it in 4/4 either.

I originally wrote out the fast harp part many years ago and worked off of that file, so I just kept it as 2/2. I think I'll leave it as is for now unless somebody feels strongly about using 4/4 instead

I don't know if I would describe my preference as "strongly" haha, it comes down to what you prefer instead ^^ If you didn't know yet, there's an option under Utilities -> Change to change the note durations, which will probably save some work.

No strong opinion from me

Other stuff from me:
- May I ask where the second eighth note in the lower layer in m. 6 comes from? Sounds like an A might fit better given the original. Same comment for the same place in m. 16, and 22.
- The exposed tritone in the left hand on beat 1 of m. 10 sounds a bit empty and dissonant compared to the intended lush harmony. I'd strongly suggest filling out the chord with a D between the notes, written in the second layer to preserve the separate melodic line. Perhaps an F below too - you lose the Bb at the bottom of the chord but I think the richness of the chord more than makes up for it. Same goes for m. 12.
- There are actually quite a few grace notes preceding strong beats in the melody in the A section, which are especially more prominent in the original starting in m. 18. Were these omitted intentionally? (If so, I'm fine with it to decrease complexity since we already have all these rolled chords and 16th lines)
- A crescendo would probably be nice in m. 24-25 (just cresc. Text in m. 24 to avoid the hairpin taking up too much space)
- The grace notes in m. 28 don't make much sense to me with the on-beat chord re-striking the grace notes. Would a roll marking be better, or alternatively a single grace note G that's tied to the half note G?
- m. 33 second half - the melody sounds like it should be Bn-A-G-Bn. Additionally, the Eb's below the melody should be natural.

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[Zeila]

Alright, let's get down to it for this one! Sincere apologies for the wait.

My first request would be to use 3 measures per system throughout the A section as well. You have more than enough room to do so given half the third page is empty, and some places are awkwardly cramped like the LH of m. 13.

I changed it aside from putting 4 measures in system 3 on page 2 so that the new section would start fresh, although I'm not sure if I should move the "*melody" text to the 3rd system or leave it as is. And sorry for the long wait myself!

I don't know if I would describe my preference as "strongly" haha, it comes down to what you prefer instead ^^ If you didn't know yet, there's an option under Utilities -> Change to change the note durations, which will probably save some work.

No strong opinion from me

Okay then I guess I really will just leave it. Also, I found that Finale bugs out when you try to change the note durations when utilizing layers because it won't account for rests/breaks in the 2nd-4th layers, and that's more of a pain to copy/paste properly

- May I ask where the second eighth note in the lower layer in m. 6 comes from? Sounds like an A might fit better given the original. Same comment for the same place in m. 16, and 22.

For measure 6, I think I just lowered the E from the piano arpeggio down an octave so that it would continue the upwards pattern of the other measures. Idk why I prioritized that for m16 and put an F for m22, but they have all been changed to A's to fit the chord better

- The exposed tritone in the left hand on beat 1 of m. 10 sounds a bit empty and dissonant compared to the intended lush harmony. I'd strongly suggest filling out the chord with a D between the notes, written in the second layer to preserve the separate melodic line. Perhaps an F below too - you lose the Bb at the bottom of the chord but I think the richness of the chord more than makes up for it. Same goes for m. 12.

I added the extra notes, except in m12 I put an E at the bottom to match m13

- There are actually quite a few grace notes preceding strong beats in the melody in the A section, which are especially more prominent in the original starting in m. 18. Were these omitted intentionally? (If so, I'm fine with it to decrease complexity since we already have all these rolled chords and 16th lines)

Yeah, I did it because I felt that it was already busy enough with the chords and preceding sixteenth notes

- The grace notes in m. 28 don't make much sense to me with the on-beat chord re-striking the grace notes. Would a roll marking be better, or alternatively a single grace note G that's tied to the half note G?

Idk what happened here, but I changed the sixteenth grace notes to a single grace note A since it sounds like a bend

- A crescendo would probably be nice in m. 24-25 (just cresc. Text in m. 24 to avoid the hairpin taking up too much space)
- m. 33 second half - the melody sounds like it should be Bn-A-G-Bn. Additionally, the Eb's below the melody should be natural.

Done

I also decided to add an arpeggio marking to measure 1, and then I lowered the A and E eighth notes for beats 2/3 of m22 in the LH down an octave. As always thanks for checking!

[Latios212]

I changed it aside from putting 4 measures in system 3 on page 2 so that the new section would start fresh, although I'm not sure if I should move the "*melody" text to the 3rd system or leave it as is. And sorry for the long wait myself!

No worries, things happen! Yes, I think it would make the most sense to place the melody text direction where the melody first begins on the lower staff - it looks a bit confusing right now in m. 9 before looking ahead to m. 10.

The other changes look good so I'm ready to accept once that's updated!

[Zeila]

No worries, things happen! Yes, I think it would make the most sense to place the melody text direction where the melody first begins on the lower staff - it looks a bit confusing right now in m. 9 before looking ahead to m. 10.

The other changes look good so I'm ready to accept once that's updated!

I thought it would be too crowded, but it actually fits quite nicely. It has been done :3

[Latios212]

Hooray! Let's finally get this one in. Thanks for the hard work on this one

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot