[DELETED] [NDS] Magical Starsign - "Normal Battle" by LifeMushroom

Started by Zeta, August 05, 2018, 07:08:03 PM

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Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Magical Starsign
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Normal Battle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LifeMushroom


Note-wise, this arrangement looks really solid to me! With regard to notation and formatting, though, there are a lot of things that I think need to be changed:

  • Double all note values and double the BPM to 160. I don't actually remember how to do this Finale so uh if you need help with this ask someone else (there are some issues with measure distribution but this will double the number of measures so it can wait until after this is done)
  • I think you should try to incorporate the timpani at the end of every measure (well, at the end of every two measures once the BPM is doubled). You already have the bassline in there, and it's not particularly feasible to play both at once, so I'd suggest just temporarily dropping the bassline in favor of the timpani whenever the timpani plays (which is only for one beat at a time, so the bassline's presence isn't really diminished). Here are two ways you could do it, but feel free to experiment with it on your own:

The second way distinguishes the two lines better and resembles the original more closely, but playability may be a concern at this tempo.
  • There's more going on in the left hand of m9–12 than what you currently have now; I'm hearing the timpani line alternate with notes a major third below the notes you have, at the same rhythm of m1–8 (sixteenth notes at 80 BPM, or eighth notes at 160 BPM). Except when it hits the two D's at the end of the phrase, I think those notes are by themselves.
  • With the above notes included, I'm not sure about the necessity of the G that you have on the first beats of m9–12 in the LH, since you'd be playing a G right afterwards. I can't tell where those high G's come from in the original, either, but you might be hearing something that I'm not.
  • Try to be more consistent with your note durations. For instance, in m1–8, all the notes sound equally as long to me, yet you have some that are three times long as others. These are how I would notate m1 and m9, respectively:
These are still at 80 BPM, so all note values you see here would be doubled at 160.

The other quarter notes in the measure do sound longer, but notice in particular the highlighted dyad that I shortened. I also added some tenuto markings to the last two notes in the measure; accents would work too, but either way I think those notes deserve some kind of emphasis.

The other big thing is that you have a lot of incorrect chromatic spellings in this sheet; generally, you want to be using sharps in chromatic ascending patterns and flats in chromatic descending patterns (also remember all these measure numbers are still referring to the version at 80 BPM, so maybe change these before you change the tempo):
  • m2, 6, 14, 18, right hand: Ab --> G#, Db --> C# (I'm not sure if m4, 8, 16, 20 should also be changed—my gut feeling is that it's okay? but it would be nice if someone else could weigh in here)
  • last notes of m9 and m11: Db --> C#, Bb --> A#
  • m21, right hand: F# --> Gb (beat 3), Ab --> G# (beat 4.5)
  • At a first glance, m26 looks like it should be A#-D#, but I'm not sure if it should be changed either—it's kind of like m4, 8, 16, 20. Even though the pattern actually ascends to B-E this time, it doesn't really feel like it's resolving there; the B-E itself sounds more chromatic to me than the Bb-Eb. Plus the left hand doesn't actually resolve by going a half-step upwards. Would be nice if someone else could weigh in on this too, maybe. (In the case that it's okay as is, m26 would really like some courtesy accidentals.)
  • m29, both hands: Db --> C# (beats 1+2 and beat 4), this would probably also warrant courtesy accidentals in m30
  • (honestly the beginning gives me C minor vibes but the second half of the track doesn't and I think it'd be a hella lot easier notation-wise just to keep it in C major)

Also, the rests are randomly gone in the left hand of the last measure. Might want to check that out.

I checked all the notes and they seem right, which makes things a lot easier. I don't think there will be any major problems with the sheet once the above points are ironed out, plus the measure distribution and formatting afterwards. Hope this helps!
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.



I won't be able to work on my arrangements for a bit due to some work. I'll try to whenever though.


I also think this would work better if you doubled both the note durations and the tempo.

In any case, this piece is definitely in C minor, despite some mode mixture and chromatic mediant progressions in the second part, and your key signature should reflect that.
  • This means your chromatic spellings are correct for measures 1–8 (and 13–20). You should put a courtesy accidental in front of the D natural, however.
  • The Db in measures 9 and 11 should indeed be a C#; likewise, the Bb that coincides with it should be an A#.
  • The right hand F# in measure 21 should be a Gb. The last Ab/G#, however, is up to you: this diminished chord serves both as a dominant to the tonic C chord (which would require the Ab spelling) and to the A chord that follows (which would require the G# spelling). Since the composer's intention here was likely to surprise listeners with the irregular resolution, I would write it Ab to further emphasize the fact that we're being mislead into expecting a C minor chord to follow. If you prefer to accentuate the enharmonic repurposing of this chord, go with G#.
For measures 22–29, the right hand should be playing full chords, and I'm pretty sure they have more rythm to them. This is what I hear (plus proper chromatic spellings—and keep in mind I have doubled note durations relative to your current version):

This does require courtesy accidentals in measure 30.

I'm not sure about adding the timpani line in measures 1–8, etc., but if you do choose to add it, make sure it's not below the bass note. For measures 9–12, though, this shouldn't be a problem. You could also double the top note to further emphasize the chromatic neighbour notes, if you want, like this:

Please stop making lists using hyphens.



Archiving this for inactivity.  Resubmit whenever is good for you!