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NSM Winter Update Project Thread

Started by Libera, December 12, 2018, 03:25:40 PM

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Libera

Quote from: Yug_Guy on December 18, 2018, 04:19:44 PMWe sure can!

Sweet, approved!

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

Quote from: D3ath3657 on December 17, 2018, 03:44:05 PMWonder of the Stars
  • Your metronome marking should be to the right of your character indication. Also, I find the latter a bit redundant.
  • You don't need a double barline every eight measures—they're generally only used when changing key signatures, at the start of a new section (i.e. when a piece is divided into "movements" that are written continuously instead of separately), or when there's a dramatic shift in tone, texture, etc. This applies to your other arrangements as well.
  • You could hide all the layer 2 half rests in measures 13–20; unless the piece is very contrapuntal, and it's important to be able to follow all the voices very clearly, it's OK to just have as many rests as are necessary for rythmic clarity.
  • Maybe lower the systems on the second page so the empty space at the top and bottom of the page is more even.

-The character indication should also be to the left of the tempo marking, but I'm fine with the character indication you've given.  D3ath is saying that peaceful and calm convey the same thing, so it's pointless to put them together.  But to be honest, I think there are enough types of calm that distinguishing it as peaceful is meaningful. 
-Agreed on the double barlines.
-I don't have a problem really with the second layer rests, but I do think that perhaps bars 19-20 would look neater in one layer (the rests are being forced up very high here.)  Alternatively you could hide the rests, but I don't think I'd hide the rests in bars 13-16; they're not really doing any harm and I try to avoid hiding rests if I can.
-You could re-space the systems on the second page, but I don't really see it as a problem.

Anyway, onto my feedback:

-Oh no the bracket thing has happened again.  I'm talking about bar 24.  An easy solution to this would be to remove the brackets on the note here and in bar 28.  The thinking would be that you don't need them because the two keys aren't being pressed at the same time.  If you do want to keep the brackets, you're going to need to fix the issue in bar 24.  I don't have much experience with the issue; perhaps Latios can help?

And that's it; nice stuff.

Latios212

#76
Quote from: Yug_Guy on December 18, 2018, 03:10:43 PM
Quote from: D3ath3657 on December 17, 2018, 03:44:05 PMI hear the end of measure 1 more like this (the F is sharp from earlier in the measure):
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Measure 3 would cut out the last F# and have the last G as an eighth note.
Try slowing the song down, it's definitely the way I have it currently written.
No, the song definitely does descend to F# like D3ath said. Furthermore, the left hand doubles that F#, and the A (second note) in measure 2 is not there at all. Haven't worked out the rhythms yet - it's really weird - but this does need to be fixed.

EDIT: I tried poking around with it. Check the file in the folder and see if that looks good to you.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Khunjund

Quote from: Libera on December 18, 2018, 04:44:44 PMI'm fine with the character indication you've given.

Of course you are.

Quote from: Static on December 18, 2018, 02:48:26 PMD3ath's Buried in Snow
  • Everything checks out. If you want, you can make the 2 pairs of 8th rests (m23 and 39) as a quarter rest, but I don't think it's necessary. This gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.

I prefer it with two eighth rests, and it takes up a little less vertical space like that, which I like because it's high above the staff and I really hate 8va lines.
Please stop making lists using hyphens.

Libera

Whoops Yug Guy I was looking at the wrong bar, my bad.  I've checked Latios' correction and it seems right to me.

Libera

Static

Flamesgrace

Looks great!  Might I suggest a different distribution though?  Your current one scrunches up the top and the bottom of the second page,  which I sought to alleviate.

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I might have botched some markings/slurs in the picture (those can easily be fixed), but I think the sheet looks a lot more balanced this way.

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Latios212 on December 18, 2018, 04:57:13 PMEDIT: I tried poking around with it. Check the file in the folder and see if that looks good to you.
approved

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on December 18, 2018, 03:59:01 PMLatios212

Pokke Village

Nostalgia. That is all.
-I'm not hearing the Ab in the right hand of bar 12.
-The melody Eb in bar 24 sounds like it only sustains for a quaver, rather than a minim.  (That also means you could probably write that bar entirely in one layer if you wanted to.)
-I'm hearing a D as the last note of bar 12 rather than a C.  The contour also makes more sense that way to me.
-I'm hearing an Eb as the last note of bar 22 rather than a F.
-There's a strong Gb in bar 38 that you're missing from the chord.
-Maybe I'm getting the wrong part here, but I'm hearing a standard Eb major arpeggio in bar 47 (so ending on Eb rather than D).
-Bar 52 onwards, could you have another look at the left hand part for me?  Sometimes I'm hearing as you wrote it, but at others I'm hearing something completely different (e.g. bar 52).
- Oops that was a misclick. Meant to make that a rest.
- You're right it doesn't sustain that long, but I wanted to keep that E in a separate layer to demonstrate that the melody resolves. I've changed it to a quarter and flipped the other layer down except for the melody C at the end to differentiate the parts.
- Yes that sounds great.
- Still hearing that as an F.
- Yep, sounds good
- I think m. 47 is Cm9. I heard the Eb and tried changing it to a D in the LH there since I wasn't sure how much I liked repeating the E flat and having the major second between it and the F, but upon trying it out again it sounds fine. Updated.
- Went through the last eight bars again, gave the LH another look, and added in harmonies in the RH that I forgot to before. Hopefully better? :P
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Libera

Quote from: Latios212 on December 18, 2018, 05:56:24 PM- Oops that was a misclick. Meant to make that a rest.
- You're right it doesn't sustain that long, but I wanted to keep that E in a separate layer to demonstrate that the melody resolves. I've changed it to a quarter and flipped the other layer down except for the melody C at the end to differentiate the parts.
- Yes that sounds great.
- Still hearing that as an F.
- Yep, sounds good
- I think m. 47 is Cm9. I heard the Eb and tried changing it to a D in the LH there since I wasn't sure how much I liked repeating the E flat and having the major second between it and the F, but upon trying it out again it sounds fine. Updated.
- Went through the last eight bars again, gave the LH another look, and added in harmonies in the RH that I forgot to before. Hopefully better? :P

Yee.


LeviR.star

Quote from: D3ath3657 on December 17, 2018, 03:44:05 PMLeviR.star

Secret Mine
  • I believe I've said this multiple times, but I've never once seen a 15ma line used in a professional edition of a piece of music—and it's definitely not because I haven't seen many pieces that reach the extreme notes of the piano, because I have. The customary way to write this would be an octave higher and using a regular 8va line. Likewise, both hands should be written without 8va lines from measure 23 onwards. The rest seems fine to me.
Winterland (Stage 5)
  • Metronome marking should go right of the character indication.
  • The Ebs from measure 1–12 should all be D#s; see how they resolve up to En in the following measures? The harmony is I-V-I-V..., with your I chord being C major with added sixth and your V being G augmented. Same thing goes for the Abs in measures 13–24, which should be G#s (the one in measure 25 is fine—notice how it resolves "down" to G).
  • The customary way of indication that the first note is "tenuto" in this bass pattern is by slurring it to the following note—this is because the slur implies the motion which the pianist has to do to perform this articulation, whereas the tenuto does not.
Wonder of the Stars
  • Your metronome marking should be to the right of your character indication. Also, I find the latter a bit redundant.
  • You don't need a double barline every eight measures—they're generally only used when changing key signatures, at the start of a new section (i.e. when a piece is divided into "movements" that are written continuously instead of separately), or when there's a dramatic shift in tone, texture, etc. This applies to your other arrangements as well.
  • You could hide all the layer 2 half rests in measures 13–20; unless the piece is very contrapuntal, and it's important to be able to follow all the voices very clearly, it's OK to just have as many rests as are necessary for rythmic clarity.
  • Maybe lower the systems on the second page so the empty space at the top and bottom of the page is more even.

- Ok, I moved everything up an octave and replaced the 15ma. It's weird seeing so many ledger lines, but I believe you

- Right. Moved
- Makes sense to me. Fixed
- That looks better. Also fixed

Updaters: Can I have this ^^ above sheet renamed to just "Winterland"?

- I never really thought about that. How's "With peaceful nature"?
- I'll keep that in mind in the future. Double barlines removed
- Yea, I can hide those rests, no problem
- You got it. Systems moved down a little

Quote from: Libera on December 18, 2018, 04:44:44 PMLeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

-The character indication should also be to the left of the tempo marking, but I'm fine with the character indication you've given.  D3ath is saying that peaceful and calm convey the same thing, so it's pointless to put them together.  But to be honest, I think there are enough types of calm that distinguishing it as peaceful is meaningful. 
-Agreed on the double barlines.
-I don't have a problem really with the second layer rests, but I do think that perhaps bars 19-20 would look neater in one layer (the rests are being forced up very high here.)  Alternatively you could hide the rests, but I don't think I'd hide the rests in bars 13-16; they're not really doing any harm and I try to avoid hiding rests if I can.
-You could re-space the systems on the second page, but I don't really see it as a problem.

Anyway, onto my feedback:

-Oh no the bracket thing has happened again.  I'm talking about bar 24.  An easy solution to this would be to remove the brackets on the note here and in bar 28.  The thinking would be that you don't need them because the two keys aren't being pressed at the same time.  If you do want to keep the brackets, you're going to need to fix the issue in bar 24.  I don't have much experience with the issue; perhaps Latios can help?

And that's it; nice stuff.

- This sheet was made back when I was insistent on including character indications in every sheet, so it doesn't really matter a whole lot to me now. D3ath is right; I'll change it to something else
- Rests in 19 - 20 hidden
- Seems fine to me. Is there a problem you see with the systems?

- I never knew that about the brackets/parantheses. I'll take them out

Question for anyone: Should I include some pedal markings in "Wonder of the Stars"? I need someone's input on whether or not it fits the piece.

Also, I'll get to the feedback on "Anti-Claus" tomorrow, because it needs more work than the rest of these. Everything else in my folder is updated.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Trasdegi

Quote from: Latios212 on December 17, 2018, 06:25:01 PMLooks pretty good; I adjusted the layout a bunch and changed some spellings before moving to checked once. (You can see the mus file here)

Thanks for checking it. Changes look good to me!

Libera

LeviR.star

Secret Mine

Looks great, just got a few picky things.
-Could we start the first 8va a little more to the right to better cover that first note?  I just think it'd look a little neater that way.
-Do you want to bring the pedal for that final bar of rests?  I'd make that explicit if I were you.
-Some of the bars need re-spacing.  Either just laboriously go through clicking on them all or I believe there is a actually a shortcut somewhere, but I don't remember what it is.

Trasdegi

Wintown

-Quite subtle but I think the bass in bar 6 and bar 10 moves to the En/Fb on the second note rather than the third.

To save dealing with file types if you let me know whether you're happy with that change I'll change it myself and put it in accepted since it looks good otherwise.


Libera

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.

Latios212

#88
Quote from: LeviR.star on December 18, 2018, 08:00:05 PMUpdaters: Can I have this ^^ above sheet renamed to just "Winterland"?
Ye. Also your page 2 header info was still misaligned. Looks super neat though aside from that; I've fixed that and accepted

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 04:29:40 PMLeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.
Same for this one haha. Fixed that and accepted
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Latios212

Quote from: D3ath3657 on December 17, 2018, 03:44:05 PMTh3Gavst3r

Vanilla Lake
  • Just change every note you've written with an accidental natural to its enharmonic written with a sharp (so B#, Cx, E#, etc.), and it'll be good. Unofficial seal of approval.
Agree with this, except for the B-Cn-C# figure in m. 1, 3, 9, 11. I think this would be better as a minor third rather than an augmented second, and using Cn would avoid B# conflicting with Bn in the left hand. (It's also easier to read as Cn.)

Gav's been busy, so I updated the files with the rest.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle