NSM Winter Update Project Thread

Started by Libera, December 12, 2018, 03:25:40 PM

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Libera

Quote from: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 05:11:15 PMAgree with this, except for the B-Cn-C# figure in m. 1, 3, 9, 11. I think this would be better as a minor third rather than an augmented second, and using Cn would avoid B# conflicting with Bn in the left hand. (It's also easier to read as Cn.)

Gav's been busy, so I updated the files with the rest.

Wooooooo.

LeviR.star

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 04:04:01 PMLeviR.star

Secret Mine

Looks great, just got a few picky things.
-Could we start the first 8va a little more to the right to better cover that first note?  I just think it'd look a little neater that way.
-Do you want to bring the pedal for that final bar of rests?  I'd make that explicit if I were you.
-Some of the bars need re-spacing.  Either just laboriously go through clicking on them all or I believe there is a actually a shortcut somewhere, but I don't remember what it is.

- why Finale does that by default, I will never know. Fixed
- Deku must've hidden the "Pedal Up" marking, so I un-hid it
- hmm, strange. Fixed

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 04:29:40 PMLeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.

I've decided to leave pedal markings out. They're not really what I want for this piece. Folder updated.

Also, I would like my Daze Before Christmas removed by an updater. It needs more work than I have time for, I don't know if I'll like the results when I alter it for playability, and I only arranged it last year because it was as close to being a festive sheet as I could find, not because I liked the song.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Libera

LeviR.star

Secret Mine

Accepted!

Wonder of the Stars

That's totally cool, thanks for letting us know.

Daze Before Christmas

Sure thing.  And might I add that's very conscientious of you.

Latios212

Libera - Snow in Summer
Looks great. Just a few comments:
- Double barline at the segno in m. 49?
- Strongly suggest flats in m. 78 LH.
- I know you're consistently writing 3 voices here, but m. 23 and 39 sound pretty empty without the C to emphasize the suspension.
- I second D3ath's suggestion of adding in more in the RH of m. 65-80, but up to you.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Libera

Static

The Mires of Narshe

Looks great really, just a few things.

-I'd change the angles on the cross staff beams in bar 3 and 7 so they look like normal ascending couplets.
-Talked to you about removing the straight 8ths direction as 16ths aren't swung in 8ths swing.

Flamesgrace

Brilliant, moving to accepted.

Static

Quote from: D3ath3657 on December 18, 2018, 05:05:13 PMI prefer it with two eighth rests, and it takes up a little less vertical space like that, which I like because it's high above the staff and I really hate 8va lines.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, just wanted to make sure. Sounds good to me.

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 06:02:17 PMFlamesgrace

Brilliant, moving to accepted.
I already made the measure distribution changes and we discussed this on Discord, so I wanted to clarify this decision here. The updated file is in the folder.

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 06:02:17 PMStatic
The Mires of Narshe

Looks great really, just a few things.

-I'd change the angles on the cross staff beams in bar 3 and 7 so they look like normal ascending couplets.
-Talked to you about removing the straight 8ths direction as 16ths aren't swung in 8ths swing.
All fixed.

Libera

Static

The Mires of Narshe

Looks good.

Libera

Snow in Summer

Wait.

Quote from: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 06:00:35 PMLibera - Snow in Summer
Looks great. Just a few comments:
- Double barline at the segno in m. 49?
- Strongly suggest flats in m. 78 LH.
- I know you're consistently writing 3 voices here, but m. 23 and 39 sound pretty empty without the C to emphasize the suspension.
- I second D3ath's suggestion of adding in more in the RH of m. 65-80, but up to you.

-I put a double barline 8 bars previously for the drums, and I don't want to overuse them really.
-I put these in, since for some reason when I wrote this I decided to put courtesy accidentals everywhere else. Am I going ... soft?
-Yeah I missed that C since I was thinking very horizontally when I did this, and I must've assumed it was three parts throughout.  I guess one part splits there; added in.
-To differentiate this section from the previous section, I opted for a light texture and that's why I've kept the trombones out and I think I'd like to keep it that way.

Thanks for going through that one, it's quite the lengthy piece.

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 06:28:08 PMSnow in Summer

Wait.

-I put a double barline 8 bars previously for the drums, and I don't want to overuse them really.
-I put these in, since for some reason when I wrote this I decided to put courtesy accidentals everywhere else. Am I going ... soft?
-Yeah I missed that C since I was thinking very horizontally when I did this, and I must've assumed it was three parts throughout.  I guess one part splits there; added in.
-To differentiate this section from the previous section, I opted for a light texture and that's why I've kept the trombones out and I think I'd like to keep it that way.

Thanks for going through that one, it's quite the lengthy piece.
No problem. Looks great now!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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E. Gadd Industries

Everything's been updated on Gelato Beach with the exception of one thing. Static, when I listen back to the original (Bass-BoostedTM), I'm not hearing the last 8th in m16 LH as an A, but as an E (as it is in Libera's suggested fixes). I'm still willing to fix it even now, but I want to point it out and give others the chance to weigh in with their thoughts. Also, with regard to the tempo marking issue (Tranquiloso v. Tranquillo)

I'm not sorry
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Thanks, everyone! : D

EDIT: RIP I forgot the most important part of the post. Here's the file download link for convenience: https://www.dropbox.com/s/pwew8fewlgv039r/34.%20Gelato%20Beach.musx?dl=1
"Everyone is crazy but me"
-The Sign Painter


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
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InsigTurtle

#99
Regarding Gelato Beach, I'm hearing it as an E as well (m16). I'm cool (HAHAHA GEDDIT) with it.

Fahr Outpost - I love the harmony in this one. Not quite sure about the notation of the last chord, since the impression it gives off isn't quite like the original. A bit hard to follow which lines you're writing down in m.1-2 (even in m.6, I'm hearing a slightly different pattern in the second half of the measure).

Will add more to this, just making sure my post doesn't get lost to the heavens

Fourth Chapter ~ On the Ground - Some of your dynamics have weird placing (or maybe my Finale's messing it up), m.37's 8va appears to be clashing with repeat, m.36 LH's last dyad might be able to use ties extending to the repeat, would rewrite m.38 in a way that allows for that D to be accentuated and ring out y'know

Wintown - Only issue i have is with the last chord in m.4 there, doesn't quite sound dissonant enough

The Immortal Country - Hearing a mordent on m.53 instead of just a grace note, not really hearing the m.56 ornamentation though. Was wondering about the bass part in m.37, I'm guessing you've done that so the LH can play the lower voice in the top staff, right?

Snow in Summer - Even though I can tell why some of the harmony was left out from m.65 to 80, that still makes me sad :( Kinda hard to follow after m.81 but I'm hearing an F in m.85 as the main note that comes out (giving the top line a contour that goes like Bb Gb F Eb)

The mines of Narshe - Only comment is I'm wondering what happened to the B in m.4 (since the top line goes C to B)

Another Winter - m.13 and 14's top staff's bottom voice, i'm guessing you switched the F and G in beat 4 of m.13 and changed it slightly in m.14 to avoid 2nds right? likewise in m.25? i'm not the hugest fan of that but i think it's cool.

Pokke Village - This is nice. You could have filled some of the chords out a bit more in m.41 to end (e.g. the G in m.41, m.42) but I can understand if you avoided that since it'd be very dense. Otherwise, I like it.


Also, please respond to your feedback today so we can get things going since tomorrow is the solstice! What a happy day!

Libera

#100
Quote from: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 02:05:29 AMFourth Chapter ~ On the Ground - Some of your dynamics have weird placing (or maybe my Finale's messing it up), m.37's 8va appears to be clashing with repeat, m.36 LH's last dyad might be able to use ties extending to the repeat, would rewrite m.38 in a way that allows for that D to be accentuated and ring out y'know

All good points;  I've updated the files.  Thanks!

Edit: Oh yeah apart from the collision with the 8va and the repeat; I checked the pdf export and it looks fine there.  I guess it's caused by me using v25, but I'm not exactly clear on how that would result in such a discrepancy.

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Quote from: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 02:05:29 AMThe Immortal Country - Hearing a mordent on m.53 instead of just a grace note, not really hearing the m.56 ornamentation though. Was wondering about the bass part in m.37, I'm guessing you've done that so the LH can play the lower voice in the top staff, right?

Changed the grace to a mordent.  But I do still hear the ornament in bar 56 clearly.  And yeah that's the intention in the section starting at bar 37.

Quote from: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 02:05:29 AMSnow in Summer - Even though I can tell why some of the harmony was left out from m.65 to 80, that still makes me sad :( Kinda hard to follow after m.81 but I'm hearing an F in m.85 as the main note that comes out (giving the top line a contour that goes like Bb Gb F Eb)

I changed the Eb to an F, I think I was being distracted by the bass note.  Sorry to make you sad, but yeah I do really want to differentiate those sections.

Trasdegi

#101
Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2018, 04:04:01 PMTrasdegi

Wintown

-Quite subtle but I think the bass in bar 6 and bar 10 moves to the En/Fb on the second note rather than the third.

To save dealing with file types if you let me know whether you're happy with that change I'll change it myself and put it in accepted since it looks good otherwise.


Uuuhh... I listened again to both in parallel, and I heard what I'd written.

Libera

#102
Quote from: Trasdegi on December 20, 2018, 04:08:40 AMUuuhh... I listened again to both in parallel, and I heard what I'd written.

Yeah I checked again and I can hear what you've written, don't mind me.

About that chord in bar 4 that Insig mentioned, perhaps it's got an Ab in it as well?  Have a look at it yourself and see what you think.  Edit: On more listening to the chord, I think what you've written is right.  I think it's just the voicing is a little confusing, but how you've written it makes sense for keeping in line with the rest of the chords.  Probably worth getting someone else in to check though.

InsigTurtle

To be honest, I heard it as an augmented chord with A natural, but you shouldn't trust me right now since it's 5 am and I've gotta sleep :P Could have been the A natural up top messing with my poor earsies wearsies oopsie woopsie did a fucksy wucksy

Trasdegi

Quote from: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 04:52:32 AMTo be honest, I heard it as an augmented chord with A natural, but you shouldn't trust me right now since it's 5 am and I've gotta sleep :P Could have been the A natural up top messing with my poor earsies wearsies oopsie woopsie did a fucksy wucksy

Yeah, it's probably the An from above. The inversion (not the same as the original for playability) doesn't help either.