[SNES] Kirby Super Star - "Gladiator Kirby" by LeviR.star

[LeviR.star]

I've been waiting for someone to ask this. Allow me to explain ~

Listening to this, the main thing I noticed is the total lack of the upper voice in Bars 1-4 (except for the first beat of Bar 1). Why isn't that line of A's, B flats, and G's in this transcription?

I am well aware that I am leaving out harmonies; if you're suggesting that I don't hear all of that with perfect pitch, you would be wrong. My reasoning for making those measures sound so empty in comparison will need a couple of examples:

Olimar12345's Arrangement of "Beginning" from Deltarune

Here's the first 4 measures of this sheet, arranged some time before mid-December:

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Notice how the melody only comes into play with the RH at the very end, which is where the RH also has to stop playing those chords. This way, the song sounds exactly like the original until that point.

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My Arrangement of "Beginning" from Deltarune

Here's the first 4 measures of my sheet, arranged on Thanksgiving Day:

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Here, the chords are only played in the LH, but the melody comes in at the same time. If you listen to the original, the rhythm behind the melody doesn't really back out when that main voice starts to play.

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The way I see it, the first few bars of this song are meant to demonstrate the driving rhythm alone, and to take every opportunity to make it sound completely accurate with both hands would kill the feel every time the RH needed to switch back to the melody. Do you understand my intentions?

this transcription?

And here's the problem with your post.

Dekka, you need to understand that I have started to make a lot of decisions lately about accuracy vs. playability. I cut back a lot on this song to make it performer-friendly. It's the reason why the LH does this 5th volley on the quadruple 16ths:

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... and the reason why the LH doesn't represent the full harmony at 150 bpm.

Dekka, you may be comfortable with transcribing repeated notes and chords at ridiculous tempos, but I'm not. To quote:

This isn't NinMidiMusic

I may not get chords or notes right every time, but my ears and I know when I'm cutting back intentionally. So, to answer your question, that is why my sheet here has a "total lack of the upper voice".

[Dekkadeci]

Thing is, I don't think the RH ever actually needs to switch back to that A-B flat-G-filled melody--that melody playing in Bars 1-4 and never coming back should be sufficient. (That's how I sing this theme, anyway.)

[Libera]

Just a final comment from me: I'm hearing some slightly different bass notes for the final section than you put in. 
-Bar 34: G rather than Bb.
-Bar 36: A rather than G. (The Gs are still there though, just not the bass.)
-Bars 37-38: Ds rather than As. (Apart from the Es on the final beat of bar 38, obviously.)

Regarding the missing RH in bars 1-4, my original assessment was that you had omitted them for exactly the reasons that you brought up and so I didn't mention it.  I'm certainly happy as it is, but if you do decide to change it that's fine as well.

[LeviR.star]

Just a final comment from me: I'm hearing some slightly different bass notes for the final section than you put in. 
-Bar 34: G rather than Bb.
-Bar 36: A rather than G. (The Gs are still there though, just not the bass.)
-Bars 37-38: Ds rather than As. (Apart from the Es on the final beat of bar 38, obviously.)

Oh, I assumed you wanted the root of the higher dyads like your example... my bad. Notes changed.

Also, I talked with Kirby Wiki, and they like the idea of using "Gladiator Kirby" as a title, so we're going with that.

[Libera]

No worries.

Approved.

[Latios212]

This is really looking swell, really nice work guys! (Bonus points for the extra smooth wavy slur in m. 24)

Only a few comments from me.
- I'm not really a fan of the turns - I feel their placement makes them a bit ambiguous what the intended execution is, and I'd recommend triplet grace notes in those places instead (similar to m. 9). Up to you, but I think writing them as grace notes would make more clear and consistent what exactly to do.
- Break the inner beam in m. 12 to better clarify where the triplet applies to. (You can do this by using the Beam Break Tool under Special Tools, double clicking the G, and selecting 16th)

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- Could we make the beat 1 LH of m. 34 a perfect fifth like the ones around it? (Change top G>D)

[LeviR.star]

- I'm not really a fan of the turns - I feel their placement makes them a bit ambiguous what the intended execution is, and I'd recommend triplet grace notes in those places instead (similar to m. 9). Up to you, but I think writing them as grace notes would make more clear and consistent what exactly to do.

I wasn't really sure of them myself, so I thought I'd leave them in until somebody said something. All changed to grace notes. Some of the slurs came out weird, but you can adjust them if you feel the need to. (Further on that: the grace note E with a tie was moved with the Note Position Tool so that the tie could be long enough.)

- Break the inner beam in m. 12 to better clarify where the triplet applies to. (You can do this by using the Beam Break Tool under Special Tools, double clicking the G, and selecting 16th)

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I considered doing this for my final product, but back *then* I only knew how to break the entire beam using the / shortcut. Done.

- Could we make the beat 1 LH of m. 34 a perfect fifth like the ones around it? (Change top G>D)

Sure, as long as that's what you hear and you're okay with the thirds in the last two measures.

This is really looking swell, really nice work guys! (Bonus points for the extra smooth wavy slur in m. 24)

Thank you much, Latios, and thanks for checking this! I'm quite proud of the wavy slur myself

[Latios212]

You're welcome!

Nice, those fast notes look clearer now. (Although in m. 31 and 35 it looks like they play before the beat instead of on the beat... but I think it's okay to leave.) In measure 20, be sure to extend the trill line to the beginning of the grace notes to clarify that you want the trill to lead into them.

Oh, and one last thing I forgot to mention last time. I noticed that you wrote the melody of m. 13-20 as single notes - not sure if it's just me, but the harmony really seems to jump out in m. 17 beat 1 whenever I listen to the song. If you feel the same way, you could put an A and E under the right hand in the D (Asus4 chord). Otherwise, totally fine to just keep as is, since the A/E are already present in the LH accompaniment. Just thought I'd mention it.

(That's all from me, sorry for one more round of back-and-forth )

[LeviR.star]

Nice, those fast notes look clearer now. (Although in m. 31 and 35 it looks like they play before the beat instead of on the beat... but I think it's okay to leave.)

If there's any other way to notate those notes, (because it seems the turn would start on the note above,) I'm open to suggestions, but I'm okay with leaving them, too.

In measure 20, be sure to extend the trill line to the beginning of the grace notes to clarify that you want the trill to lead into them.

That's strange, I could've sworn it was longer in my earlier drafts... fixed.

Oh, and one last thing I forgot to mention last time. I noticed that you wrote the melody of m. 13-20 as single notes - not sure if it's just me, but the harmony really seems to jump out in m. 17 beat 1 whenever I listen to the song. If you feel the same way, you could put an A and E under the right hand in the D (Asus4 chord). Otherwise, totally fine to just keep as is, since the A/E are already present in the LH accompaniment. Just thought I'd mention it.

I see where you're coming from, but if it's alright, I'd rather introduce the melody to harmony come m. 21. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

Just a few more things to re-address to make sure everyone's on the same page:

- slurs on the grace notes and if they need to be adjusted in any way (because some of them look a little funky right now)
- the LH thirds in the last two measures (as opposed to the fifths preceding them)
- the rhythm and notes of the LH from m. 5 - 24 (because they tend to get covered up by everything else pretty easily)

(That's all from me, sorry for one more round of back-and-forth )

No, you're alright; this is the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Files fixed again for now.

[Latios212]

Yeah, no problem! Just responding to one last point above, everything else looks fine.

- slurs on the grace notes and if they need to be adjusted in any way (because some of them look a little funky right now)

A few of them look kinda funny, especially the ones in m. 13 and 20. They shouldn't have the right end of the slur pointing up (or even left). Try adjusting them to look a little less bent like the one in m. 15.

Oh, and I know I just mentioned in another post I think it's neater for slurs to extend to the end of tied notes in groups, but a caveat is that I think it's better for grace notes to simply slur into the notehead they lead into. This helps keep the slur pointing the normal direction as well as provide the contour you want.

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[LeviR.star]

Yeah, no problem! Just responding to one last point above, everything else looks fine.
A few of them look kinda funny, especially the ones in m. 13 and 20. They shouldn't have the right end of the slur pointing up (or even left). Try adjusting them to look a little less bent like the one in m. 15.

Oh, and I know I just mentioned in another post I think it's neater for slurs to extend to the end of tied notes in groups, but a caveat is that I think it's better for grace notes to simply slur into the notehead they lead into. This helps keep the slur pointing the normal direction as well as provide the contour you want.

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Sweet! As long as I have permission to edit them manually. Files fixed.

[Latios212]

Of course! As you probably have already gathered, I always recommend making manual adjustments at the very end to avoid any other changes interfering with the spacing. Looks terrific now

(PDF export was buggy, I replaced it. Ready for acceptance, great work!)

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot