[N64] Paper Mario - "Toad Town Variations" by Sebastian

Started by Zeta, February 09, 2019, 12:49:15 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Paper Mario
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Toad Town Variations
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Sebastian

[attachment deleted by admin]

Sebastian




Latios212

Here's feedback~

Russ T.'s Theme
- The font size is different from that of "Delicately".
- Measure 6's RH layers should be written like m. 2.
- Measure 2 beat 1 LH should have a B in it as well. I'd also suggest clarifying the layer work there a bit, since only beat 1 is missing in layer 2 currently.
- m. 4 beat 1.5 - layer 2 should have G below as well
- A few problems with measure 7. Hearing something like this instead:
You cannot view this attachment.
- Overall I would highly encourage going over the layer work in this one again as there are a few inconsistencies like the ones I've mentioned above.

Merlon's House
- Not quite sure what's going on with the dynamics - suggest putting the p below the staff in m. 1, and are the dynamics in m. 7 necessary? They're the same as m. 1.
- I think the Gb in m. 3 would be better spelled as F#.

Minh T.'s Garden
- m. 1/5 - the RH should repeat the G-B dyad twice instead of moving up.
- There's no note in the LH of the first beat of the last measure.

Rowf's Badge Shop
- m. 5-6 RH is wrong, m. 5 should end on an E and 6 should start on E# grace note to F#.
- Would recommend flipping the slur downwards in m. 6.
- LH should be an octave lower in m. 6
- Rhythm in LH is wrong in the last measure.

Tayce T.'s Theme
- LH - m. 5 beat 2.5 should both be C# (transcription error). I think m. 4 beat 4 should be spelled C# as well.

Toad Town Tunnels Entrance
- "Entrance" spelled wrong.

Shy Guys' Secret Room
- Should be G major.
- Db-->C# in m. 4, and no parentheses needed on beat 4.
- m. 5 beat 3 LH should be G.
- m. 6 last note LH should be B

Also unless you want to keep them in OST order, we could swap a couple of them so Tayce T.'s Theme doesn't have to be split across the page break.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Sebastian

Whew...I forgot how old this sheet is. I'll be sure to check through next time I submit an old sheet. xD

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AM- Measure 2 beat 1 LH should have a B in it as well. I'd also suggest clarifying the layer work there a bit, since only beat 1 is missing in layer 2 currently.
- m. 4 beat 1.5 - layer 2 should have G below as well
- A few problems with measure 7. Hearing something like this instead:
You cannot view this attachment.
- Overall I would highly encourage going over the layer work in this one again as there are a few inconsistencies like the ones I've mentioned above.
I went ahead and cleaned this one all up. This one was rough. There were quite a few additional wrong notes, layers, etc.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMMerlon's House
- Not quite sure what's going on with the dynamics - suggest putting the p below the staff in m. 1, and are the dynamics in m. 7 necessary? They're the same as m. 1.
- I think the Gb in m. 3 would be better spelled as F#.
Messed with the dynamics amongst other things.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMMinh T.'s Garden
- m. 1/5 - the RH should repeat the G-B dyad twice instead of moving up.
I'm 100% I hear the dyad inverting. I hear G-B and then B-D.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMMinh T.'s Garden
- There's no note in the LH of the first beat of the last measure.
I hear an E, but it's much quieter and a different instrument is playing it.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMRowf's Badge Shop
- m. 5-6 RH is wrong, m. 5 should end on an E and 6 should start on E# grace note to F#.
- Would recommend flipping the slur downwards in m. 6.
- LH should be an octave lower in m. 6
- Rhythm in LH is wrong in the last measure.
Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMTayce T.'s Theme
- LH - m. 5 beat 2.5 should both be C# (transcription error). I think m. 4 beat 4 should be spelled C# as well.
Nice catch. Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMToad Town Tunnels Entrance
- "Entrance" spelled wrong.
Oh my lol. Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMShy Guys' Secret Room
- Should be G major.
- Db-->C# in m. 4, and no parentheses needed on beat 4.
- m. 5 beat 3 LH should be G.
Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AM- m. 6 last note LH should be B
This note is a D.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMAlso unless you want to keep them in OST order, we could swap a couple of them so Tayce T.'s Theme doesn't have to be split across the page break.
I'd like to keep them in OST order, but thanks for the suggestion!



Latios212

Quote from: Sebastian on February 16, 2019, 01:19:13 PMWhew...I forgot how old this sheet is. I'll be sure to check through next time I submit an old sheet. xD
Awesome. :3

Quote from: Sebastian on February 16, 2019, 01:19:13 PMI went ahead and cleaned this one all up. This one was rough. There were quite a few additional wrong notes, layers, etc.
Much better. For measures 4-5 though I'd recommend moving the middle layer to the top staff since it'd fit comfortably under the right hand part and eliminate the need for lines and brackets.

Quote from: Sebastian on February 16, 2019, 01:19:13 PMI'm 100% I hear the dyad inverting. I hear G-B and then B-D.
Might the D in the left hand be throwing you off? I lowered the music by an octave to hear the top voice better and it pretty clearly stays where it is.

Quote from: Sebastian on February 16, 2019, 01:19:13 PMI hear an E, but it's much quieter and a different instrument is playing it.
Alrighty. It also makes perfect sense being there, so cool.

Everything else looks great!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Sebastian

Hmmmm, weird. The second chord is even more clearly a B-D when put down an octave.


Someone wanna give input? Break our tie?
Here is the octave lower version:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8gwicnbedw8nfd7/31%20Minh%20T-timestrech.wav?dl=0



Libera

I have been summoned.

Had a listen and I'm with Sebastian, the right hand dyad inverts in those bars.  (At least that's what I can hear.)

Latios212

Ah okay my bad then. :P

Sebastian, did you get a chance to take a look at my last other suggestion?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Sebastian




Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

The Deku Trombonist

Rowf's Badge Shop:
- You've got an E# grace note to an F natural in bar 6...
- I'd personally use F naturals instead of E sharps. It's kinda bluesy and I think it fits better to have the tension between major/minor 3rds and major/minor 7ths reflected in the spellings.


And just a general visual point: I think the names of each track need to be visually separated from the musical directions. Eg put the track name in a box (or whatever you want) and leave the musical direction as its usual bold text.

Sebastian

Thanks for the feedback! I'll get on these when I get to my PC later



Sebastian

Got those things fixed. Once again, thanks for the feedback!



Latios212

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 11:50:38 AMRowf's Badge Shop
- m. 5-6 RH is wrong, m. 5 should end on an E and 6 should start on E# grace note to F#.
I think you changed the wrong pitch when implementing Deku's comment
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Sebastian

Whoops, I thought that's what I had. Fixed and updated.