News:

Using cutting-edge ray tracing technology, our sheets appear 69% more realistic than the leading bargain brand!

Main Menu

[DELETED] [GBA] Mario Kart: Super Circuit - "Cheese Land" by xenophanes

Started by Zeta, April 17, 2019, 04:18:03 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Mario Kart
Game: Mario Kart: Super Circuit
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Cheese Land
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: xenophanes


AmpharosAndy

This has already been requested by Galactic. He requested circuit in the same post, which has been done, but if somebody does this make sure that you address both posts innit :)

I might take this one but it'll be quite a while until I have time to do it!
innit

xenophanes

I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure what you're asking me to do, I'm still a little new here. Are you telling me to let him know I finished it?

Greg

Probably thought you posted in the request board, if I had to guess?

Yug_Guy

Why don't we just leave feedback on his arrangements and worry about the request board later? Some suggestions:
  • I think your arrangement would look a bit nicer if you shrunk the staves a little bit. idk what version of Finale you have, so if that's not possible you can always ask for help in this thread.
  • The R.H. in measures 35-36 & 39-40 seem a bit empty, perhaps you can add in the stabs during that section?
  • For the main melody in m.9-16 & 21-28, I suggest getting rid of the ties - the notes don't really carry over into the next beat.
  • Move the dynamic marks in m.7-8 over to the right just a tad - mainly so it's not touching the barlines
This is a pretty good first arrangement otherwise

AmpharosAndy

Quote from: Greg on April 18, 2019, 10:20:42 AMProbably thought you posted in the request board, if I had to guess?
oh whoops I thought it was haha
innit

Static

Quote from: xenophanes on April 18, 2019, 09:06:59 AMI'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure what you're asking me to do, I'm still a little new here. Are you telling me to let him know I finished it

Yeah, go ahead and do that here. I don't blame you for not finding it (the last post on that thread was in July 2018), so don't worry a bit!

Now, moving onto the sheet itself... In addition to everything Yug already said:

  • In general, the notes are all too long. Especially for this piece (which is in an upbeat funk style), it's a good idea to include articulations like staccatos, accetents, etc. throughout to give it some style (and to communicate that style with the player). It's a very upbeat funky tune, after all.
  • For the most part, the beaming/rhythmic grouping is correct, but m16 should be fixed (beat 3 should all be connected).
  • m18 Beat 4 RH: This should just be 2 16th notes followed by an 8th rest.
  • m19 RH: The D should be a Bb.
  • m20 Beat 4 RH: Maybe add a grace note here (the A below the upper Bb). This brassy effect is more subtle though, so leaving it out would be fine too.
  • m28 Beat 1 RH: This should actually be 4 16th notes rather than just a quarter note.
  • m29-32: There's stuff going on in the original that isn't present here. Is there a reason for that?
  • m33-48 RH: Because of the way Finale defaults work, it's usually better to have the upper layer be Layer 1 and the bottom be Layer 2. Finale automatically flips Layer 1 up and Layer 2 down. (You can switch 2 layers by selecting the measures, right-clicking, and selecting "Move/Copy Layers".)
  • m39: The rests aren't aligned quite right (it should look like m35). Also, the top layer C should be tied to a whole note in m40.
  • m33-48 RH: You included the string voice as the upper layer, which is a fine arrangement decision, but there's other harmonies going on underneath the melody, as well as various echoes and interplay between voices. I would recommend possibly using these instead of the string voice since they're more harmonically and rhytmically interesting.

I went ahead and made a file for you with these changes and lots of articulations. Feel free to edit it as you see fit, and also consider adding some of the other stuff I didn't add like in m33-48.

I know it sounds like a lot, but really, this is a great first sheet you have here, and I'm looking forward to more (especially more Super Circuit since only like one other person wah around here arranges for it.)

Latios212

Bump for xenophanes! With Static's help this is really looking quite good.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

Unfortunately archiving this for inactivity. Xenophanes, feel free to resubmit upon your return with Static's recommendations.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle