A little update on my breakup situation...
So right after we broke up, I planned on not letting it get me down/prevent me from doing the things I enjoy, so I presented myself as happy and okay with the situation. I was afraid that if I presented myself that way, my friend would think that I hated dating her and that I'm happy to be single again, I don't know if she even took notice. But regardless, it worked and helped me stay positive. However, there was one major problem: I had nobody to speak my mind with. I considered talking to her about what's on my mind, but I thought that she'd stop being friends with me if I bothered her too much. I realized that I never really talk with any of my other friends, so I decided to text all of them, asking about either their life or something they were doing, to try and see which person would be the most okay with me speaking my mind. Now, this included texting my ex, and I desperately hoped she wouldn't just start stonewalling me.
Since she was feeling sick, I asked her if she was feeling any better, she said no, and exclaimed that it's been a long week. Knowing her, I immediately got the hint that she was feeling bad about our break up, but I didn't say anything because I honestly wanted her to admit it herself. She had asked me how I was feeling (maybe it was because when we broke up I told her I was feeling nauseous, and maybe it was because she was wondering if I felt hurt by the break up as well, don't know) and then told me that if I need anything to talk to her. Later, I asked her about a youth symphony performance I was supposed to go to but couldn't, just to see how it went. She mentioned that she didn't feel good, so it was hard to enjoy, and I advised her to take some medicine. I then asked her what she did that day (just making small talk
) and she said that she was going to watch a sad movie. I was kinda confused, so I asked her if anything was wrong, and she said "I'm just sad." I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, but she wouldn't say anything more, so I decided to empathize with her and say that I'm sad as well. She responded with "being sad sucks," and I took that as another hint that she felt bad about the breakup.
I took a leap and asked her if she still thinks about me, and she said "yeah," and I let her know that I was constantly thinking about her. And then she said that she was sorry we didn't work out (she admitted it, yay!) and we then had a discussion to try and get a better understanding. Really, she's determined that a long distance relationship would 100% fail, but also that she couldn't handle two years away from me. Honestly, I was simultaneously rolling my eyes and anxious to get back together, but I kept my cool. I honestly feel that we are both still very much in love, but I agree with her that we could spend some time just being friends. Maybe after college, if we still want it, we'll try again.
