[NDS] Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story - "Dimble Wood" (Replacement) by Bloop

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Dimble Wood
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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[Bloop]

Don't know if the original title is "Dimble Wood" or "Let's Meet In The Mysterious Forest", but "Dimble Wood" seemed clearer to me and it's the name currently on the site, so I went with that

[Latios212]

Don't know if the original title is "Dimble Wood" or "Let's Meet In The Mysterious Forest", but "Dimble Wood" seemed clearer to me and it's the name currently on the site, so I went with that

That seems reasonable enough to me. I can't recall seeing an official English release of the soundtrack, so we can leave it like that - likely more recognizable too.

Regarding the ossia: Finale's Ossia tool doesn't actually seem to handle ossias very well. Besides the unnecessary clef and signatures (which I think you can turn off?) the spacing doesn't match the real measure. What you can try instead (I wouldn't say it's mandatory here if you can nudge it around a bit, but would be nice to have) is creating a new staff and hiding it everywhere else besides the measures you want the ossia on. That way the positions of the notes will line up exactly and you can have a bit more control over it. (I can probably write up a guide on this sometime)

A few comments regarding the flippedness of things:
- I think the layer 3 staccatos in m. 6-7 would be better above the notes.
- Measure 8's layer 1 doesn't need to be forced upwards since there's nothing visually below it; you could return it to normal.
- Measures 13-14 and 17-18 look a bit odd with the staccatos below the notes on beats 1-3 with nothing above them. Not sure if I have a good suggestion here, though
- Flip the slur and staccatos in m. 21 as normal (maybe put the rests above layer 1 as well?)

Other misc. comments:
- (Actually one about notes this time!) The pickup at the end of m. 14 sounds like it's actually Eb-F-G instead of F#-G - the major second interval caught me off guard.
- Page 2 header and page number are outside the margins!
- The tremolos in m. 2, 4, and 5 have very little space and aren't very conspicuous. The best thing I can think of is using the Beam Extension Tool to cut down on the whitespace between the inner beams and the stems around them.
You cannot view this attachment.

oops that was a bit more than I thought I was going to type

This is a really good sheet though! Everything's laid out super nicely, it just needs a bit of a finishing touch.

[Bloop]

Fixed!

- Measures 13-14 and 17-18 look a bit odd with the staccatos below the notes on beats 1-3 with nothing above them. Not sure if I have a good suggestion here, though

I flipped the articulation markings as in m. 6 and 7, above until there are notes above.


moving articulations sucks lol

[Latios212]

moving articulations sucks lol

yeah I wish Finale was better at that

Not much else to say, other than Terrific job!

[Libera]

I've just got some small comments to say on this one, but in general nice job.

-Especially with the ossia in the first system, I think everything aside from the title and url could be brought down a bit on the first page to give the composer info a little more room and eat up some of the white space above the url.
-Speaking of the url, http -> https.
-I feel like the left hand in bars 13-14 and 17-18 is an octave too low.
-I'd argue that the key change should be in bar 19 rather than 20 with F#s and Bns rather than Gbs and Cbs.  (The Bb still a Bb though as it's like a chromatic passing tone or w/e.)
-Maybe extend the 8va at the end to include the four semiquavers in the previous bar?  The reason I say that is because then visually it'd be clear that those two figures start on the same note which helps readability.

[Bloop]

Fixed those!

[Libera]

Awesome, the edits look good to me.  Accepting!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot