[PC] CrossCode - "Battle 1" by Greg

Started by Zeta, July 30, 2019, 10:50:24 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: CrossCode
Console: PC
Title: Battle 1
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Greg

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

Greg


Maelstrom

this .... is actually a really great arrangement. I just have one comment, but it's very important.

Please, please put double bar lines before your key changes. And maybe slur the grace notes but that's up to you.

Greg

Good call on the barlines, updated!

I tried out slurs on the grace notes, but it ended up looking cluttered since the following notes are also slurred so I opted to omit them.

Libera

Yeah this looks pretty good, just a few things from me:

Quote from: Greg on August 03, 2019, 04:11:46 PMI tried out slurs on the grace notes, but it ended up looking cluttered since the following notes are also slurred so I opted to omit them.

You could consider simply including the graces in the slurs, rather than having two lots of slurs.  It might look neater that way.

-The same comment I made on Valse d'Ahoge applies here about the left margins.
-The direction for the left hand in bar 2 should be put in using the expression tool rather than the text tool.  This means that if you move anything around the text will move with it which is a lot nicer for editing.  (It shouldn't really make a difference to how the sheet looks printed off, though.)
-At the moment everything is quite squished horizontally and you've got a lot of white space that could be used up on the second page.  With that in mind, I'd suggest going to more systems and having less bars per system.  Here's a picture of what I'm envisioning:
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
To achieve this I had to edit your bottom margins to 0.5 rather than 1.  This didn't really have any effect on how the sheet looked as your url was set at -0.333 alignment to the bottom margin so by changing that to zero that left it in practically the same place.  I think this looks a lot clearer and makes better use of the space on the page so I'd strongly recommend it.
-Regarding the key changes, I'm not sure that some of them are necessary or accurate.  The way I'm reading it currently makes it look to me like it starts off in A minor and doesn't change key until bar 25.  Then I think your key changes are appropriate until 41 where it goes back to A minor again.
-You're missing the B below the G# on beat 1 of bar 34.

Hope that helps!

Greg

Sure thing. Just one comment: I moved out the key change from m.14 to m.16 but I'd prefer not to remove it entirely, so that m.9-12 looks similar to the passages in m.25-28 and m.29-32. (I could instead change all of them, but I feel like it makes more sense the way it's currently written?)

Libera

Looks you put up the files for Valse d'Ahoge accidentally. :P

Greg


Libera

No worries, it's surprisingly easy to do.

Quote from: Greg on August 05, 2019, 11:18:25 PMSure thing. Just one comment: I moved out the key change from m.14 to m.16 but I'd prefer not to remove it entirely, so that m.9-12 looks similar to the passages in m.25-28 and m.29-32. (I could instead change all of them, but I feel like it makes more sense the way it's currently written?)

-Ah I think you've misunderstood me/I wasn't clear enough.  I think the whole thing up to bar 25 should be in Am.  The F#s are just coming from A dorian throughout that whole section.  If you look at the chords it's kind of like I - VI - V - VI - V in Am.  (That's covering up to bar 17.)
-Also, I only just noticed this but you've got a double left barline in bar 25 which shouldn't be there.
-I see you went for a slightly different distribution to my picture, I assume so that you had key changes corresponding to system changes?  If so, that's alright but it does make the final system quite spread out which is why I did it differently in my picture.  The other option is to keep what you have but finish the final system roughly half-way across the page so you don't suddenly change density.

Should be close to finished on this one!

Greg

Ah, that makes way more sense. (And is also obviously what you meant, I'm not sure how I misread it so badly lmao.)

For the measure distribution I decided to move down one measure from the previous system, so the last two systems both have 3 measures: that looks alright to me.

Libera

Quote from: Greg on August 06, 2019, 05:27:47 PMFor the measure distribution I decided to move down one measure from the previous system, so the last two systems both have 3 measures: that looks alright to me.

Yes that looks fine too.

Only thing left is that you're a bit too close to the page number and subtitle on page 2.  I'd aim for something like this:
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]

Latios212

Aside from what Libera said, looks pretty neat. A few things I noticed when giving it a look:
- Grace notes should be stemmed upwards. For some reason trying to flip them on your file flips the group of eighth notes as well but re-entering them should do the trick.
- Small thing to think about: since you use the mid-staff dynamics to refer only to the right hand (as the note at the beginning implies) I would suggest putting the dynamics at the beginning of the phrases in the right hand instead of at the beginning of the measures. Putting them over the left hand chords with a rest in the right hand implies (to me, at least) that it is supposed to apply to the left hand as well.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Greg


Libera


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot