[SWITCH] Octopath Traveler - "Battle at Journey's End" by Static & Libera

Started by Zeta, August 05, 2019, 08:07:35 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Octopath Traveler
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Battle at Journey's End
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: Static & Libera

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Static


Static

I am posting again because Libera and I agreed that the tom fill should be on beat 4 of m52, 56, and 58 LH instead of on beat 3. The files have been updated accordingly.

Latios212

Wonderful job, thank you two for doing this one! There's a great amount of variation in the accompaniment patterns to maintain interest, well done.

Some feedback I have on the voicings:
- The transition from m. 22-23 is weak because the left hand accompaniment suddenly lightens up immensely. For m. 23+, I'd strongly suggest using a power chord or at least writing in the fifth of the root on each beat 1.
- The open fifth in m. 27 sounds a bit empty - how about including the Db in the middle?
- I think m. 38 would be a more effective climactic point with the beat 1 C's lowered an octave in the left hand.
- At the beginning of m. 58 I would suggest playing an F in the bass on beat 1 to make the chord change a bit more explicit. Up to you, though.
- On m. 79 beat 1 I think it would be better if there were harmonies similar to the rest of the section.
- I'd suggest putting in the F# in m. 88 beat 1 to fill out the chord better as the energy ramps up.

Notes:
- Hearing beat 4 (RH) the first 16th note as Bb instead of Db - ascending pattern to the F.
- m. 60 and the following ones like it sound like C on beat 4 of the LH, not Bb.
- The melody in m. 66 beat 4 dips down to F# (not up to A) like in m. 62.
- The above two comments also apply to the end section

Minor visual things:
- Courtesy Gn in RH may be helpful at m. 3.
- m. 15 beat 3 LH missing a staccato?
- In m. 28 I'd suggest flipping the inner slur similar to m. 25 to match the contour of grace notes leading into melody notes. You'd need to raise the upper slur a bit but I think it'd be much neater.
- Suggest flipping beat 3 in m. 70 and 74 to smooth out the contour of the part.
- 1.2 inches between staves is necessary with some parts but it seems like overkill for others. In particular I think on the first page it would be better to cut down on that to make more room for space between systems and between the last system and the footer, as those are a bit close together right now.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Static

Libera and I talked for awhile and made most of the changes except for a few:

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PMWonderful job, thank you two for doing this one! There's a great amount of variation in the accompaniment patterns to maintain interest, well done.
It was a real treat to get to work on this together, glad you enjoy it! I don't think there would've been as much variation if it hadn't been a collaboration, so it really worked in this song's favor I think.

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PM- The transition from m. 22-23 is weak because the left hand accompaniment suddenly lightens up immensely. For m. 23+, I'd strongly suggest using a power chord or at least writing in the fifth of the root on each beat 1.
Originally, I had just a quarter note power chord on beat 4 of m22, but eventually changed it to match the rest of the LH in that first melody section. Neither Libera nor I really like how the 5ths sound in the m23 section (we want to keep the texture lighter there), so we tried out the quarter note again and we think it works as a smoother transition.

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PM- I think m. 38 would be a more effective climactic point with the beat 1 C's lowered an octave in the left hand.
We decided to keep this the same since the bass in the original also goes up, and also because it gives the song a sense of making way for and dropping down to the m39 section, which does have a lowered bass part to contrast the previous bars.

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PM- At the beginning of m. 58 I would suggest playing an F in the bass on beat 1 to make the chord change a bit more explicit. Up to you, though.
We decided to keep this as is since it sticks with the pattern used before and the Eb still fits within the F7 chord, just as a different inversion at first.

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PM- On m. 79 beat 1 I think it would be better if there were harmonies similar to the rest of the section.
For this particular note, I originally didn't have harmonies since it goes up instead of back down like other similar measures. This made it easier since you don't have to move your hand around. But, a single note doesn't pack as much of a punch, so we put the C# below it to add more power but keep everything in a comfortable range.

Thanks for checking!

Latios212

Quote from: Latios212 on August 13, 2019, 05:56:44 PM- The transition from m. 22-23 is weak because the left hand accompaniment suddenly lightens up immensely. For m. 23+, I'd strongly suggest using a power chord or at least writing in the fifth of the root on each beat 1.
Quote from: Static on August 14, 2019, 12:42:14 PMOriginally, I had just a quarter note power chord on beat 4 of m22, but eventually changed it to match the rest of the LH in that first melody section. Neither Libera nor I really like how the 5ths sound in the m23 section (we want to keep the texture lighter there), so we tried out the quarter note again and we think it works as a smoother transition.
Ah yes this quarter note power chord does a much better job of leading into m. 23. The thing that struck me as off was the sudden release in tension between these couple of measures as both hands switch from chords to single notes, but this is mitigated somewhat by the less active (rhythmically) end of m. 22. I'd still recommend emphasizing the beginning of m. 23 (if nothing else) a bit more to ease into the lighter section (crescendo-ing to forte on just the two notes playing seems odd), but I'll leave it up to you of course.

Everything else looks awesome, so approving!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Zeta