[MUL] Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers - "What Angel Wakes Me" by Static

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers
Console: Multiplatform
Title: What Angel Wakes Me
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Static

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Static]

I would've put lyrics on this one too, but it's hard to hear sometimes and there are no official lyrics I could find, so I decided to play it safe and not include them.

[Libera]

Never heard any of this stuff before, pretty neat.

-For the right hand in the opening, maybe the first crotchet in each bar could have an accent?  The strings on beat 2 are a lot quieter than the piano chords on beat 1 so it might help to reflect that a bit.
-The chromatic runs in bars 9-14 sound like they've got more notes in them than the ones in bar 1-8, i.e. every note between Fn and An.
-I know you're probably bored of me asking for this, but could we have the staff size a little bigger and the left margin a little more than 0.5?  I could still fit it on four pages if I swapped from 80% resize to 85% and took the left margin to 0.6 rather than 0.5.  To get it to work though I did have to bring the distance between staves back down to 1 inch where it wasn't needed (which was actually most places).
-I would suggest putting harmonies in the first beat of bar 9 and 13.  Even if its in a higher register, I think it would work better to emphasise the start of each bar in that way.
-I think I'm hearing the Dn on top in bar 3, like in bar 7.
-The sung harmonies that come in at bar 89 I'm hearing a little differently.  They sound like they're just a third below the melody, just like they are in bars 33+.  It would likely be easier to play than the mix of intervals that you have written in as well.
-I must admit I'm struggling a little to make out the bass in sections, but some of the double sharps don't sound quite right to that you've written in for bars 72-104.  It might just be that they're clashing with usual sharpened notes in the right hand, but it definitely sounds a bit strange.
-In bars 121-136 I'm hearing the lowest note in each bass phrase the same octave as the next, rather than jumping up an octave.
-Also, why is 121-136 the only place with pedal markings?  Is the rest meant to be played without pedal?  If those markings are meant to be in there, they could do with some with some tidying up to make sure they line up consistently.
-I'm not sure I hear the extra Cs in the second chords in bars 21, and 23.  They also seem a bit more awkward to play that way, but maybe I'm just mishearing.
-The segno in bar 33 could be aligned to the bar a little more neatly.
-It might take a bit of fiddling with the advanced tools, but it'd be nice if we could get rid of the collisions between the sharps and the topmost ties in bars 82 and 86.

Generally a pretty nice sheet!

[Static]

Never heard any of this stuff before, pretty neat.

-For the right hand in the opening, maybe the first crotchet in each bar could have an accent?  The strings on beat 2 are a lot quieter than the piano chords on beat 1 so it might help to reflect that a bit.
-The chromatic runs in bars 9-14 sound like they've got more notes in them than the ones in bar 1-8, i.e. every note between Fn and An.
-I would suggest putting harmonies in the first beat of bar 9 and 13.  Even if its in a higher register, I think it would work better to emphasise the start of each bar in that way.
-I think I'm hearing the Dn on top in bar 3, like in bar 7.

Grouping all of this together because I basically overhauled the whole intro. Before, I was trying to capture all the main voices, but now I think it has a more accurate feel compared to the original. The LH is all in octaves instead of accents to give a lower, fuller sound; there are actually multiple low piano voices, which is why some of the chromatic runs don't line up rhythmically with the original (if you think I should include that other voice I wouldn't mind though). I transcribed the lowest voice only so the sound is a little more clear. The Dn is there in bar 3, but only in the strings; for the RH chords I used the rhythm of the strings but the exact notes of the piano part.

-I know you're probably bored of me asking for this, but could we have the staff size a little bigger and the left margin a little more than 0.5?  I could still fit it on four pages if I swapped from 80% resize to 85% and took the left margin to 0.6 rather than 0.5.  To get it to work though I did have to bring the distance between staves back down to 1 inch where it wasn't needed (which was actually most places).

noooooooooooooooo Done.

Never heard any of this stuff before, pretty neat.

-For the right hand in the opening, maybe the first crotchet in each bar could have an accent?  The strings on beat 2 are a lot quieter than the piano chords on beat 1 so it might help to reflect that a bit.
-The chromatic runs in bars 9-14 sound like they've got more notes in them than the ones in bar 1-8, i.e. every note between Fn and An.
-I know you're probably bored of me asking for this, but could we have the staff size a little bigger and the left margin a little more than 0.5?  I could still fit it on four pages if I swapped from 80% resize to 85% and took the left margin to 0.6 rather than 0.5.  To get it to work though I did have to bring the distance between staves back down to 1 inch where it wasn't needed (which was actually most places).
-I would suggest putting harmonies in the first beat of bar 9 and 13.  Even if its in a higher register, I think it would work better to emphasise the start of each bar in that way.
-I think I'm hearing the Dn on top in bar 3, like in bar 7.
-The sung harmonies that come in at bar 89 I'm hearing a little differently.  They sound like they're just a third below the melody, just like they are in bars 33+.  It would likely be easier to play than the mix of intervals that you have written in as well.

I can't hear them very clearly in the original, but just 3rds sounds more accurate to me. I also removed the 2nd layer for this part because that's a lot more annoying to play than I thought it would be.

-I must admit I'm struggling a little to make out the bass in sections, but some of the double sharps don't sound quite right to that you've written in for bars 72-104.  It might just be that they're clashing with usual sharpened notes in the right hand, but it definitely sounds a bit strange.

I definitely hear the bassline as I have it. It sounds weird, but I think it works with this song at least.

-In bars 121-136 I'm hearing the lowest note in each bass phrase the same octave as the next, rather than jumping up an octave.
-Also, why is 121-136 the only place with pedal markings?  Is the rest meant to be played without pedal?  If those markings are meant to be in there, they could do with some with some tidying up to make sure they line up consistently.

You're right, the lowest notes are in the same octave, but I think moving the 2nd one up (and the notes that follow) give the section more of an expansive feel, which I think matches the original more and helps to contrast the previous section, where everything is all within the same range throughout. I like the sound better this way, but if you think it's better all in the same octave I can change it.

Edit: Forgot to address the pedal markings. I had them because I forgot to hide them; I'm leaving the pedaling up the player in this one.

-I'm not sure I hear the extra Cs in the second chords in bars 21, and 23.  They also seem a bit more awkward to play that way, but maybe I'm just mishearing.

I think they're there, but I'm gonna remove the RH ones because like you said, it's an awkward placement.

-It might take a bit of fiddling with the advanced tools, but it'd be nice if we could get rid of the collisions between the sharps and the topmost ties in bars 82 and 86.

The fiddling has been done (also for m83 and 87).

Thanks for checking it over!

[Libera]

Grouping all of this together because I basically overhauled the whole intro. Before, I was trying to capture all the main voices, but now I think it has a more accurate feel compared to the original. The LH is all in octaves instead of accents to give a lower, fuller sound; there are actually multiple low piano voices, which is why some of the chromatic runs don't line up rhythmically with the original (if you think I should include that other voice I wouldn't mind though). I transcribed the lowest voice only so the sound is a little more clear. The Dn is there in bar 3, but only in the strings; for the RH chords I used the rhythm of the strings but the exact notes of the piano part.

Yes the start definitely has more weight to it now and sounds more consistent.

I can't hear them very clearly in the original, but just 3rds sounds more accurate to me. I also removed the 2nd layer for this part because that's a lot more annoying to play than I thought it would be.
I definitely hear the bassline as I have it. It sounds weird, but I think it works with this song at least.

I agree that the second layer is really annoying to play with 3rds so I understand removing it.  I think the bass still sounds a bit odd to me, but maybe it's just me not being used to the song that well.  I'm happy for you to keep it as is.

You're right, the lowest notes are in the same octave, but I think moving the 2nd one up (and the notes that follow) give the section more of an expansive feel, which I think matches the original more and helps to contrast the previous section, where everything is all within the same range throughout. I like the sound better this way, but if you think it's better all in the same octave I can change it.

I think personally I would have kept the octaves correct, but I understand your intention so I'm happy to leave it up to you.

Edit: Forgot to address the pedal markings. I had them because I forgot to hide them; I'm leaving the pedaling up the player in this one.

Since it's kind of a random place to have them I'd remove them rather than hiding them because it could be potentially confusing when listening to the midi playback against the pdf.

Everything else looks good (although the segno in 33 could still be cleaned up a little.)

[Static]

Since it's kind of a random place to have them I'd remove them rather than hiding them because it could be potentially confusing when listening to the midi playback against the pdf.

Done.

Everything else looks good (although the segno in 33 could still be cleaned up a little.)

You said this before I think but I forgot to do it, rip. It is done now though.

Also, I adjusted m9-12 RH to be like m1-4 since that's what they're supposed to be. I inverted them earlier to make room for the middle layer but forgot to change them back.

[Latios212]

Very neat. If you wouldn't mind fixing up a couple tiny visual things before this is accepted:
- In m. 40 the text is really close to the note in m. 41. You could make it smaller or move it around a bit
- The sub. p is a bit close to the chord in m. 105

[Static]

Done and done. I also got rid of some stray Gns and E#s that got into m89-104 as I was moving around notes. The harmonies work a lot better now.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot