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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Touhou
Game: Touhou 8: Imperishable Night
Console: PC
Title: Reach for the Moon, Immortal Smoke
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Maelstrom]

Too many notes.

[Libera]

This piece feels really nostalgic for me because I distinctly remember trying to play it around nine years ago.  Good times haha.

-The dynamics in general could be better lined up vertically between the staves I think.  The last two are alright, as well as the mf in bar 17.
-The overlapping G in the left hand at the end of bar 25, 27 etc looks like it'd be really awkward to play.  You could drop that final G down the octave maybe?
-I think probably the biggest issue with this arrangement at the moment is a lack of variety, which naturally comes about due to the nature of the piece but I think there are a few ways to change it up more.  Firstly, you could swap the left hand to follow the minims that come in at bar 29 (the B -> C -> A -> B line) which might help to change things up a bit and also would give your left hand a bit of time to rest.
Secondly, why no zunpets in bar 71 onwards? :(  That part is easily the thing that sticks out most in the mix from that point onwards.  Personally I'd put the zunpet line in octaves and then put the piano line in as harmony in between.  That would definitely help to not just make the ending sound like another restatement of the theme but in a different key.
-In some places, your accompaniment pattern doesn't seem to follow the piano left hand pattern in the original.  Is there a reason for that?
-Just a small suggestion, but I think I'd drop the doubled octaves in the left hand of bar 24, at the moment it seems like just a little bit too much at that point.
-If it were me, I'd include cues for the percussion in bars 37 and 70, but it's not really important.
-The 8va in bar 87 could come a little more to the left.

[Maelstrom]

unless marked, it has been fixed

-The overlapping G in the left hand at the end of bar 25, 27 etc looks like it'd be really awkward to play.  You could drop that final G down the octave maybe?

Then it becomes a repeated G which is even worse. I just made that last G an 8th note to ease playing somewhat

I think I got the zunpets in properly?

-In some places, your accompaniment pattern doesn't seem to follow the piano left hand pattern in the original.  Is there a reason for that?

I took some liberties with the LH for variation and sanity

[Latios212]

Took a look, quire solid. A few small things:
- m. 2 - flip the tie downwards for the lower layer?
- You have a bass clef at the beginning of the ossia that I don't think is necessary.
- m. 82/98 should have Fx in the right hand (instead of F#)

[Maelstrom]

Fixed and updated

[Latios212]

Awesome. Looks great!

[Libera]

Cool cool, last thing:

I hear this for bar 45 and 53 instead of your last beat.

Spoiler

[close]

[Maelstrom]

Thanks

files updated

[Libera]

Sweet, accepted!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot