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[Wii] Super Paper Mario - "Big Blooper Appears" by ThatHiddenCharacter

Started by Zeta, September 02, 2019, 08:36:10 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Paper Mario
Game: Super Paper Mario
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Big Blooper Appears
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ThatHiddenCharacter

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ThatHiddenCharacter

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Zeila

Nice work! Here's some stuff I noticed

Formatting:
  • Move the 8va slightly to the left in order to cover the note
  • I think it would look a little better if you moved the first system down so that it's farther from the composer/arranger text, and the second one up to comensate/add space between the last system and the copyright text. You could also just resize the page to 98% or something similar in order to space things out more
  • When you use tremolos, I think you should still make sure that you show beat 3

Notes:
  • I think it is worth adding the thirds in m2
  • m10 LH the last note sounds like a C instead of an E
  • m11 LH the Eb on beat 2.5 sounds like it's 2 sixteenth notes (D# -> E natural) instead of one eighth note
  • m11-13 RH I think it would be better if all of the eighth notes were staccato'd
  • m14 LH the Bb would make more sense as an A# to me, plus it kind of mirrors m2

ThatHiddenCharacter

#3
Quote from: Zeila on September 03, 2019, 01:40:00 AM
  • When you use tremolos, I think you should still make sure that you show beat 3
I tried to, but there was no way to use the tremolos without them overlapping beat 3 like they are. I remember when I first arranged this song, I asked an updater what I should do about it because I knew beat 3 should always be shown, and whoever I had asked had said it would be fine since there was no way to fix it.

Other than that, I'll fix everything else as soon as I can.

EDIT: I looked back, and it was Static I had talked to about the tremolo thing. He used one of Latios' sheets as an example when we discussed it.
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Libera

I wasn't present for the conversation, but this is a possibility and is also what I would recommend.

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Latios212

Agree with Zeila and Libera here. The rhythm is much more complex here than in the example you're referring to and obscuring beat 3 really makes reading much more difficult.

Also, the LH part should beam over the 16th rests because there are notes within the same beat.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Latios212 on September 03, 2019, 04:09:10 PMAgree with Zeila and Libera here. The rhythm is much more complex here than in the example you're referring to and obscuring beat 3 really makes reading much more difficult.
Oh, I wasn't talking about the part Libera showed. I was still going to fix that. I meant all the quarter tremolos going over beat 3.

I should be working on the edits tonight, by the way.
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Static

In addition to everything above, I have a few more suggestions:
  • m10 LH, since that last 16th note is a C like Zeila said, I would change the D# to an Eb. It makes more sense as kind of a bluesy minor 3rd since it doesn't lead up to anything. It also sets up the change to the F7 chord in m11.
  • m6, m10 RH: Those 8th note chromatic things in the first layer (beats 3-4) have Cs in between them (as 16th notes). It may be harder to play if you add them, but I think it's a neat effect. Up to you though. Here's a screenshot of what I mean:
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  • m6 RH: I do not hear the 3rds on the chords here in the original; you should save those just for m11, which does have them.
  • m11 RH: The 3rds are only on beat 2, not beat 1. The Dn should be a D#.
  • m11 LH beat 2.5: I hear this as 2 16th notes as well, but in the context of the F7 chord, I would write it as Eb-En instead of D#-En. This is more subjective though.
  • m12 LH beat 2.5: I hear this 8th note as 2 16ths like in m11, but this might just be me.

ThatHiddenCharacter

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mastersuperfan

For some reason, the beaming is inconsistent in the left hand. Make sure that all the 8th note - 16th rest - 16th note patterns are beamed over the rest.

Courtesy F naturals on beat 1 of m11 would be nice. Even though the LH never had any F#'s, I would personally put the courtesy natural in both hands to make it very clear to the player (who has been playing almost entirely F#'s up until this point).
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

Looks good to me, but do the things msf said before I can approve (looks like Lat mentioned the beaming thing too awhile back).

ThatHiddenCharacter

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InsigTurtle

It looks like there's an ornament that's clashing with the F in the bass, m. 11 b. 3. I can't fix it right now since I'm not on my comp, but otherwise I'll give the okay

Latios212

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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Zeta