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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Paper Mario
Game: Super Paper Mario
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Big Blooper Appears
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ThatHiddenCharacter

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

[Zeila]

Nice work! Here's some stuff I noticed

Formatting:

• Move the 8va slightly to the left in order to cover the note
• I think it would look a little better if you moved the first system down so that it's farther from the composer/arranger text, and the second one up to comensate/add space between the last system and the copyright text. You could also just resize the page to 98% or something similar in order to space things out more
• When you use tremolos, I think you should still make sure that you show beat 3

Notes:

• I think it is worth adding the thirds in m2
• m10 LH the last note sounds like a C instead of an E
• m11 LH the Eb on beat 2.5 sounds like it's 2 sixteenth notes (D# -> E natural) instead of one eighth note
• m11-13 RH I think it would be better if all of the eighth notes were staccato'd
• m14 LH the Bb would make more sense as an A# to me, plus it kind of mirrors m2

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

• When you use tremolos, I think you should still make sure that you show beat 3

I tried to, but there was no way to use the tremolos without them overlapping beat 3 like they are. I remember when I first arranged this song, I asked an updater what I should do about it because I knew beat 3 should always be shown, and whoever I had asked had said it would be fine since there was no way to fix it.

Other than that, I'll fix everything else as soon as I can.

EDIT: I looked back, and it was Static I had talked to about the tremolo thing. He used one of Latios' sheets as an example when we discussed it.

[Libera]

I wasn't present for the conversation, but this is a possibility and is also what I would recommend.

Spoiler

[close]

[Latios212]

Agree with Zeila and Libera here. The rhythm is much more complex here than in the example you're referring to and obscuring beat 3 really makes reading much more difficult.

Also, the LH part should beam over the 16th rests because there are notes within the same beat.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Agree with Zeila and Libera here. The rhythm is much more complex here than in the example you're referring to and obscuring beat 3 really makes reading much more difficult.

Oh, I wasn't talking about the part Libera showed. I was still going to fix that. I meant all the quarter tremolos going over beat 3.

I should be working on the edits tonight, by the way.

[Static]

In addition to everything above, I have a few more suggestions:

• m10 LH, since that last 16th note is a C like Zeila said, I would change the D# to an Eb. It makes more sense as kind of a bluesy minor 3rd since it doesn't lead up to anything. It also sets up the change to the F7 chord in m11.
• m6, m10 RH: Those 8th note chromatic things in the first layer (beats 3-4) have Cs in between them (as 16th notes). It may be harder to play if you add them, but I think it's a neat effect. Up to you though. Here's a screenshot of what I mean:
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• m6 RH: I do not hear the 3rds on the chords here in the original; you should save those just for m11, which does have them.
• m11 RH: The 3rds are only on beat 2, not beat 1. The Dn should be a D#.
• m11 LH beat 2.5: I hear this as 2 16th notes as well, but in the context of the F7 chord, I would write it as Eb-En instead of D#-En. This is more subjective though.
• m12 LH beat 2.5: I hear this 8th note as 2 16ths like in m11, but this might just be me.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

The files have been updated.

[mastersuperfan]

For some reason, the beaming is inconsistent in the left hand. Make sure that all the 8th note - 16th rest - 16th note patterns are beamed over the rest.

Courtesy F naturals on beat 1 of m11 would be nice. Even though the LH never had any F#'s, I would personally put the courtesy natural in both hands to make it very clear to the player (who has been playing almost entirely F#'s up until this point).

[Static]

Looks good to me, but do the things msf said before I can approve (looks like Lat mentioned the beaming thing too awhile back).

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

The files have been updated.

[InsigTurtle]

It looks like there's an ornament that's clashing with the F in the bass, m. 11 b. 3. I can't fix it right now since I'm not on my comp, but otherwise I'll give the okay

[Latios212]

Fixed that issue. Accepting now!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot