[SWITCH] Yoshi's Crafted World - "Main Theme" by FiveNineSquared

Started by Zeta, September 19, 2019, 11:58:40 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Yoshi's Crafted World
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Main Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: FiveNineSquared

[attachment deleted by admin]

FiveNineSquared

#1

I've had this lying around for ages...
Stuff that's bad:
- m6/m14/m23, beat 3: the last two 1/4 notes in the group should be small as well (see below)

- Copyright text overlaps stuff

(hold on, i'm going to reupload the file with measure numbers and header text, i forgot)
EDIT: fixed

InsigTurtle

if you're gonna add them tiny notes, i'd still add a Db dotted half note in places like m.6 just to clarify the direction of the flute line.

There's really no need to add a staccato to a dotted quarter like in m.8 and so forth, a dotted quarter would show the same information with less clutter

Did a preliminary check and most things seem goo,d

M.21 's Gb in bass should be F#
for m.27 and likewise, you could preserve the linear motion in LH by using an Fb there instead of an E

Latios212

I can help with the formatting once the above stuff is resolved.

Quick question though, is there a reason you wrote this in 12/8 instead of swing?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Libera

Just popping in to say I very much agree that swing would be more appropriate and readable than 12/8.

FiveNineSquared

I think the reason why I wrote this in 12/8 was because of some of it using triplets (eg, m8, m20 beat 4) but in retrospect those two occurrences don't really warrant 12/8. Redoing this one!

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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FiveNineSquared

Whoops. I'm back and changed everything to 4/4 (and tweaked what Insig pointed out) - sorry it took so long. The swing didn't transition over from the xml.

Latios212

No worries :) I can handle the formatting and swing marking in Finale for you.

Before that though, some passing comments as I'm looking at it:
- Try and condense the tempo marking and performance direction at the beginning a bit
- Should be in F major
- You've got ample space on page 2. Dunno if this is something you can do, but give the music a bit more room to breathe by using 4 measures per system and only putting 4 systems on page 1.
- Include the developer (Good-Feel) in the copyright info
- Rhythm grouping is incorrect in the last measure
- Make sure your rests are placed correctly when using multiple layers
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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FiveNineSquared

#9
So, unfortunately, I'm unable to shift the tempo markings around without moving which notes they anchor to (so I left it like that) but I've fixed:
+ the key sig from Cmaj --> Fmaj
+ the spread of the staves across the two pages
+ developer info
+ last measure's wrong rhythm grouping
+ the overlapping rests

(edit: also there's a problem involving the second voice in m6, m14, etc. having a (probably) redundant flat that I can't remove without changing the pitch)

Latios212

Okay, sorry for the wait... I went through the first half of it at least. Did the Finale formatting and stuff.

Things I changed aside from miscellaneous visual stuff:
- m. 5/13 beat 1.5 LH is D-F instead of D-A
- Hearing beat 1 LH of m. 8 as G-Bb-D
- m. 12 is missing a bass C# on beat 4

Here's the file: https://www.dropbox.com/s/djaqh6a0hw0z78g/Yoshi%27s%20Crafted%20World%20-%20Main%20Theme%20edited.mus?dl=1. Let me know if anything's off!

Question before I finish up checking the rest of it: I'm not sure I exactly follow the harmonies below the melody in the m. 18-21 section. Regardless, this is one of those places where we should definitely use two layers due to having countermelodies as well. Thoughts?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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FiveNineSquared

So I listened through the piece again and I think we can remove a few things from m18, and shift the countermelody to a second voice like you said:


(this is done in musescore)

might be a problem at m20 where the last note of the second voice should align with the last note of the first voice, so an alternative would be this:


when you check the rest of the score you can add this in, if you don't mind :D

Latios212

I gotcha! Here's a new file: https://www.dropbox.com/s/z9gdckug39pfpzu/Yoshi%27s%20Crafted%20World%20-%20Main%20Theme.mus?dl=1

Aside from your edits, I
- flipped the second half of the RH of 23 as there's nothing under it
- added a missing D in m. 21 beat 1.5 in the second layer
- changed Gb to F# in m. 21 LH (D7 chord)

Last couple of things for the second page:
- Is beat 2 LH of m. 23 an addition of yours? I don't hear it in the original
- The octave registers for some of the notes for m. 24-31 sound a bit off, like some things are higher/lower than they actually are. Compare what I sketched out in the file above to what you wrote and see if it makes sense.
- For that part, I would suggest not using the pedal as there are some noticeably staccato notes in the original I think.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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FiveNineSquared

For m23, the rhythm section in the back plays D/Bb on both 2 and 3. (But I wrote it as D/G for some reason - changed it). I think I excluded the D/Bb on 3 because it would've been hard to stretch a ninth (D/Bb/low C) like that.

I think your mods to m24 sound closer to the original than mine, yeah. Iirc I made lowered and raised the octaves of some parts because I wanted to create a softer sound with the piano. Still I think your one's a bit easier to play so we'll keep it :p
(though you forgot to remove the bass clef after on m32)

Modified-modified mus: https://www.dropbox.com/s/6w046zekja2zt1s/Yoshi%27s%20Crafted%20World%20-%20Main%20Theme.mus?dl=1

Latios212

Alright, looks good! I removed the extra clef and updated the submission files.

Approved!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
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