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[DELETED] [SWITCH] Super Mario Odyssey - "Mollusque-Lanceur Battle Theme" by Draco456

Started by Zeta, October 25, 2019, 03:17:44 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Odyssey
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Mollusque-Lanceur Battle Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Draco456

LeviR.star

Very nice sheet you got here! Before anything else is said, I'd like to suggest changing the title of the sheet to just "Mollusque-Lanceur Battle", which is what the official sources label it as.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Static

First off, you should always post a video with your arrangement so we don't have to go searching every time to check it.

The actual content of the arrangement is quite nice, but I have a lot of issues with how you chose to write it. A lot of things could be simplified without changing how the performer will read/play the piece:
  • As Levi said, according to the official soundtrack listing, the title should just be "Mollusque-Lanceur Battle".
  • In the intro, There is a lower 3rd voice starting on a Bb on beat 2 (just quarter notes but moving up the same intervals). For measure 2, the bottom Gb should be a G natural (and make the top Gb an F# instead).
  • m10 RH & similar: These triplets would best be written as 8th notes with a mordent.
  • Any staccato 16th note like in m13 and 15 RH should just be a staccato 8th note. As it's written now, it's very cluttered and annoying to read. If you really want the player to know those notes should be as short as possible, use staccatissimo marks.
  • m19 RH & similar: The D-G# to C#-Fx dyads would be better spelled as Ebb-Ab to Db-G since its moving chromatically downward there.
  • Any grace notes should have slurs connecting them to the main note.
  • m36-42 LH: There's a bit of inconsistent 8th note beaming here. For groups of 3 8th notes (m37, 39, 41), I would unbeam the first one. This is more in line with how you wrote out m44-58 LH.
  • m51-55: This whole line seems a bit too tightly packed. I would mess around with the accidental mover tool or the overall measure distribution so everything isn't so close together
  • m60-63 RH: The intervals should be consistent here across notes (i.e. augmented unison movement vs minor 2nd movement).
  • m60 LH beat 4: There's no hit here, only in m62.
  • m64: I am willing to bet only a very small fraction of people have the "proper equipment" to play this. The only way most electric keyboards can play this is by fiddling with the volume switch, but you need both hands to play this measure. I would recommend just leaving it as a sffz chord.
  • The "repeat to fade out" isn't really necessary since it's assumed most game music loops if there's a repeat or D.C. and no definite ending. It's fine to keep it though, I just wanted to point this out.

I am aware you use MuseScore, so I can make these changes for you. But I'll wait in case you have any questions/comments/concerns; it's your sheet after all.




Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Draco456

Luckily, yes! Thanks for the updates. I'll fix them over the weekend.

Libera


Latios212

Going to archive this one for inactivity. Feel free to resubmit once you have a chance to review the feedback!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle