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Author Topic: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by A. Connor Parr  (Read 193 times)

Zeta

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[PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by A. Connor Parr
« on: November 08, 2019, 06:55:49 PM »

Submission Information:

Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy VIII
Console: PlayStation
Title: The Oath
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: A. Connor Parr
« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 05:57:34 PM by Latios212 »
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Static

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2019, 11:48:54 PM »

Hello, welcome to NinSheetMusic! Excellent sheet you have here, in both music and presentation - formatting is spot-on. I have just a few comments:
  • Fermatas should be centered over the note and be a little separated; right now they're all drifting to the right side and are touching noteheads.
  • Fermatas should be in both the RH and LH. If the LH is a whole note like in m20, you should write it as 2 tied half notes and put the fermata on the 2nd half note.
  • The p in m25 should be moved down just a bit.

Latios212

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2019, 01:07:20 AM »

I agree, this sheet is super clean :P

Just to confirm, would you like your arranger name to be listed as A. Connor Parr for the site?
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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2019, 03:42:47 AM »

Hello! MuseScore is my preferred notation software and though I've had experience with Finale NotePad it's been a few years and I've never been the best with the program; I don't think everything translated well when importing my sheets. I will fix the fermata and dynamics placement issues tomorrow; thank you both very much! ^^
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Connor-Kingaroo

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2019, 03:44:12 AM »

Just to confirm, would you like your arranger name to be listed as A. Connor Parr for the site?

Yes, I would. Should I change my username accordingly?
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Connor-Kingaroo

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2019, 02:37:25 PM »

  • Fermatas should be centered over the note and be a little separated; right now they're all drifting to the right side and are touching noteheads.
  • Fermatas should be in both the RH and LH. If the LH is a whole note like in m20, you should write it as 2 tied half notes and put the fermata on the 2nd half note.
  • The p in m25 should be moved down just a bit.

These issues have been addressed and my files have been updated accordingly. If I missed something, or if there's something else I can improve upon with this score, please let me know! I am so grateful for your help and support~
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Latios212

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by Connor-Kingaroo
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2019, 05:57:29 PM »

Yes, I would. Should I change my username accordingly?
No need, I've changed your arranger name on your profile :P
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Libera

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by A. Connor Parr
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2019, 01:25:19 PM »

Hi, welcome to NSM, enjoy your stay etc.

It's helpful if you post a youtube embed on your subs so that we don't have to go looking for the exact track you mean (it's not so bad here, but sometimes tracks are labelled poorly on youtube.)  I'm surprised neither Static nor Latios mentioned this.


Onto feedback:

-The way the phrase ends are written at the moment is kind of inconsistent.  All of these are exactly measured as two bars each whereas we have them as a mixture of two bars measured and one bar with fermatas which I wouldn't really recommend (especially in bar 20 where the rhythm is just wrong the way it's currently written.)  I'd recommend writing all of these out exactly as two bars each and just ditching the fermatas altogether.  (For the record, by phrase ends I mean bars 4, 8, 11-12, 15-16, 20, 23-24 and 35-36.)  Also, I'm pretty sure all of these held semibreves actually end on the 4 beat of the bar (in other words, there's a bit of space before every new phrase starts.)
-The lower voice in the right hand of bar 26 sounds like it goes E -> G -> Eb rather than what's currently written in.
-The 8va in bar 28 would be neater if it started a little further to the left.
-The semibreve in the left hand of bar 12 should be a minim.
-Kind of nitpicky but it'd be nice to have all the hairpins and dynamics line up with the starts of notes.  There's no places where it would be difficult to do so as far as I can tell.  (None of the hairpins are currently lined up and the dynamics that aren't are in bars 1, 5, 13 and 21.)
-Although I'm recommending you remove the fermatas, just for your information the right hand fermata in bar 4 should go above the dyad, not below it.
-For the ending (bars 29-36) I think I'd suggest messing around with the left hand a bit.  This is the climax of the piece and the way it's currently voiced is quite high and light, which works against it being 'climaxy' I guess.  Something you could do is just lower the whole left hand by an octave, which would probably work reasonably well (although there are doubtlessly other things you could try here.  Another thing you could try is just ditching the countermelody in the left hand and going for octaves, but that might not be necessary.)
-I think the As in the right hand of bar 30 (beats 3-4) should be Bs instead, as opposed to bar 34 where they're definitely As.
-I'm not a huge fan of how the layers in bar 26 swap round going into bar 27 but there might not be a nice solution that keeps everything consistent so I can live with it.

Generally a pretty nice job, especially for a first submission.

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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by A. Connor Parr
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2019, 01:55:41 AM »

I feel obligated to mention that I was only able to format what I have so far because of the help of ThatHiddenCharacter, as he has the full version of Finale and I do not. I can address the issues you've brought up using MuseScore, but it may take me a few days to update my current files as THC (should he choose to continue helping me) will then be required to make the corrections to the .mus conversion of the .musicxml import of the original .mscx file that I am unable to. I could not accomplish much of the reworking that you've requested using just Finale NotePad.

Your detailed feedback is very much appreciated, Libera. Thank you. I tried to be careful in my arranging and be as close to the original as possible, but I think my desire for a "clean score" did get in the way; your concern with my use of fermatas is valid and I'm sorry I didn't just write out the sections that were five measures as actually being five measures. I will be better. As to your concerns about incorrect notes, I will re-listen to both the original and my arrangement so I can hear for myself when, if, and how I messed up.

I have a lot to learn. I am glad you've been candid with me about my need need to improve this score, and I will implement the knowledge you've imparted to me not just to this one arrangement, but to my arranging for this site in general.

It appears I also misunderstood where I was supposed to link to YouTube versions of the track; I did so on my Piano Arrangements thread. Thank you for informing me of my mistake in this regard, as well. I'll post embeds on my actual submissions in the future.
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Re: [PS1] Final Fantasy VIII - "The Oath" by A. Connor Parr
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2019, 02:10:23 AM »

I feel obligated to mention that I was only able to format what I have so far because of the help of ThatHiddenCharacter, as he has the full version of Finale and I do not. I can address the issues you've brought up using MuseScore, but it may take me a few days to update my current files as THC (should he choose to continue helping me) will then be required to make the corrections to the .mus conversion of the .musicxml import of the original .mscx file that I am unable to. I could not accomplish much of the reworking that you've requested using just Finale NotePad.

That's very helpful of him!  Although I think most of the things I'm talking about you should be able to edit in notepad (positioning of notes/articulations/dynamics, adding in bars, changing notes etc.) but feel free to take all the time you need; there's no rush.

Your detailed feedback is very much appreciated, Libera. Thank you. I tried to be careful in my arranging and be as close to the original as possible, but I think my desire for a "clean score" did get in the way; your concern with my use of fermatas is valid and I'm sorry I didn't just write out the sections that were five measures as actually being five measures. I will be better. As to your concerns about incorrect notes, I will re-listen to both the original and my arrangement so I can hear for myself when, if, and how I messed up.

I have a lot to learn. I am glad you've been candid with me about my need need to improve this score, and I will implement the knowledge you've imparted to me not just to this one arrangement, but to my arranging for this site in general.

No worries at all.  We all get better through feedback, and you seem to have the right kind of mindset.  Although, don't feel like you have to apologise to me for things I point out, it's not something to be worried about.

It appears I also misunderstood where I was supposed to link to YouTube versions of the track; I did so on my Piano Arrangements thread. Thank you for informing me of my mistake in this regard, as well. I'll post embeds on my actual submissions in the future.

I tend to post youtube videos in my PA and on submissions.  It just makes things easier that way without having to navigate around the forums to find the tracks.
 

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