[SNES] Kirby's Dream Land 3 - "Iceberg" by Static & LeviR.star

Started by Zeta, November 23, 2019, 02:22:26 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Dream Land 3
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Iceberg
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: Static & LeviR.star

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Static


LeviR.star

Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Latios212

Yay this is a cool song!

- I think the chords in m. 2/4/59 would be easier to read with flats instead. Any particular reason they're written with sharps? (Also, compare 2 to m. 22)
- I'd recommend moving the f from the beginning of m. 21 to beat 3 of m. 20.
- m. 49-50 and 51-52 sound like they should have the static non-moving voices tied over similar to the previous measures.
- Beat 2 of m. 52 sounds like it should be G-Ab-B instead of F#-G-B.
- Also, a crescendo around m. 51-52 would be nice.
- D# instead of E in m. 56 RH beat 1.5?
- I'd suggest writing out two quarter rests instead of using a half rest in m. 57.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Static

Quote from: Latios212 on December 03, 2019, 04:50:47 PM- I think the chords in m. 2/4/59 would be easier to read with flats instead. Any particular reason they're written with sharps? (Also, compare 2 to m. 22)
If there was a reason, I forgot. It's fixed now.[/quote]

Quote from: Latios212 on December 03, 2019, 04:50:47 PM- I'd recommend moving the f from the beginning of m. 21 to beat 3 of m. 20.
- m. 49-50 and 51-52 sound like they should have the static non-moving voices tied over similar to the previous measures.
- Beat 2 of m. 52 sounds like it should be G-Ab-B instead of F#-G-B.
- Also, a crescendo around m. 51-52 would be nice.
Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on December 03, 2019, 04:50:47 PM- D# instead of E in m. 56 RH beat 1.5?
Used Eb instead to keep the intervals consistent.

Quote from: Latios212 on December 03, 2019, 04:50:47 PM- I'd suggest writing out two quarter rests instead of using a half rest in m. 57.
Fixed.

I also moved the Bb in m37 to the RH since the RH isn't doing anything right before, and the LH doesn't have the time to make it up there.

Latios212

Cool. Just one tiny thing - click to re-space m. 50 since the accidentals left extra space at the beginning of the measure that didn't automatically get reduced when you put the tie.

Other than that, all good!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Static


Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

LeviR.star

In retrospect, the slurs I placed in m. 54 seem out of place. I'm all for removing them, but if you guys would rather keep them and add more slurs in similar cases in that section, I'm fine with that, too.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Libera

This looks good to me except one thing: why is bar 2 not three crotchets (potentially with a diminuendo through the bar)?

LeviR.star

Quote from: Libera on December 19, 2019, 04:25:29 PMThis looks good to me except one thing: why is bar 2 not three crotchets (potentially with a diminuendo through the bar)?

I hear what you're hearing, and you bring up a good point, but I'm just not sure each attack is as pronounced as in m. 4 to call for 3 quarters w/ a decrescendo. This section of the song is pretty quiet already, and I'm doubtful the performer would be able to diminish the volume of each strike without exaggerating it.

That said, it might not hurt to add some notes to the bass in m. 4. Thoughts?
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Libera

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 20, 2019, 09:35:56 PMI hear what you're hearing, and you bring up a good point, but I'm just not sure each attack is as pronounced as in m. 4 to call for 3 quarters w/ a decrescendo. This section of the song is pretty quiet already, and I'm doubtful the performer would be able to diminish the volume of each strike without exaggerating it.

I don't think it's that hard of a thing to do personally and currently as-written it just sounds ... wrong?  As-is that bar has way more space in it than the original does and it kind of kills the repetition of the same rhythmic phrase in bars 3-4.

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 20, 2019, 09:35:56 PMThat said, it might not hurt to add some notes to the bass in m. 4. Thoughts?

Yes definitely add the bass there, my bad for missing it.

LeviR.star

Quote from: Libera on December 22, 2019, 03:37:50 PMI don't think it's that hard of a thing to do personally and currently as-written it just sounds ... wrong?  As-is that bar has way more space in it than the original does and it kind of kills the repetition of the same rhythmic phrase in bars 3-4.

Yes definitely add the bass there, my bad for missing it.

I went through and changed that, and added a slightly dissonant bass line (both of these fixes were done in the last measure as well, as it's a copy of m. 4). I also went back through and fixed some formatting and playback oddities. I updated the files, too.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Libera

Cool, although I think the bass notes there should be Gbs and Abs rather than Gns and Ans.

Also, another thing I noticed is that I'm not sure bar 56 is entirely accurate.  It's not particularly easy to hear on the instruments there but I'm hearing something more like this:

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