[SWITCH] Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield - "Once Upon a Time..." by FiveNineSquared

Started by Zeta, December 19, 2019, 09:35:58 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Once Upon a Time...
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: FiveNineSquared

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

FiveNineSquared


Issues yay:
- m43: the crescendo needs to be invisible'd (the rit. marking above covers for it)
- m43-44: the tempo markings need to get invisible'd
- all the mordents don't playback in the midi

(edit: did one very quick edit to fix some clipping issues)

InsigTurtle

Couple of comments
- I noticed your use of the (i forgot what it's called, but like in m.7 beat 2.5) is a bit inconsistent compared to what i hear
- For m.8 and other related measures, i think putting the top in another layer would be preferred (it shows how that line continues, and it's perfectly possible with the pedal you've notated)
- honestly? i'm not sure if it's just me but the courtesy flat on m.11 confuses me more than it helps, i think. looking through it, i would have already played a Db for the first beat, and seeing that courtesy accidental on the next Db would confuse me and make me second-guess myself
- m.28's first beat looks too empty compared to what i hear (a fuller D7) + misspelling

FiveNineSquared

- You're referring to the pitch bending in the original right? I only left the one D-Eb change in because it outlines the voice leading from Db to D♮. I don't know how to explain this properly because my theory's abysmal when it comes to chords.
- Changed.
- Fair enough, tbh I just ran a musescore plugin that set courtesy accidentals automatically and didn't check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I also got rid of the flat on m9 beat 2.75.
- Re-wrote it so that there's a Dmaj in the left hand and the 7th on the right.

(also noticed I missed out one note bracket on m40, but now that I think about it, removing that bracketed note altogether is probably better.)

Latios212

Yay, finally Sword/Shield stuff!

First off, a broader comment about your use of articulations in general - I feel like you use too many accents. They're at the beginning of practically every phrase and oftentimes just on strong beats - but the nature of 4/4 is that those will be brought out anyway. They should be used when a note really needs to played more forcefully but when used too often, they lose their meaning and end up visually cluttering the sheet. I feel like that is happening here. I know this is your style of writing things out, but I really think it doesn't work particularly well here where the parts are fairly uniform stylistically. Let me know what you think!

Other passing comments:
- RH G misaligned in m. 8
- I would suggest putting the key change at m. 25 instead of m. 23. It would then coincide with the section (and keysig) change, and the visible A naturals in m. 23-24 would highlight the resolution to F major instead of minor.

I'll be back to check the notes soon~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

FiveNineSquared

Alright, I think that's fair. My use of accents was mostly based on controlling the velocity midi playback, so I used a lot of them to emphasise main beats.
So I removed a bunch of them from the sheet, save for the ones where I feel the accented notes need to stand out more.

I fixed the misaligned G but I can't change the position of the key signature on Notepad...
Though I don't really agree with you on the key sig because the key change at m23 would already highlight the resolution to F major? Unless you meant that the F major actually starts at m25 and m23/24's a transition into it. Personally I felt the key change begun on m23. Nonetheless I guess having the time and key sigs coincide looks neater.

Latios212

Quote from: FiveNineSquared on January 15, 2020, 08:47:57 AMAlright, I think that's fair. My use of accents was mostly based on controlling the velocity midi playback, so I used a lot of them to emphasise main beats.
So I removed a bunch of them from the sheet, save for the ones where I feel the accented notes need to stand out more.neater.
Sounds good. Keep in mind accents on a sheet are for the performer to interpret, not the playback. If you want to manipulate the playback, simply hide the accents. (Also, for the A section, I don't think we really need them at the beginning of each RH phrase...)

Quote from: FiveNineSquared on January 15, 2020, 08:47:57 AMThough I don't really agree with you on the key sig because the key change at m23 would already highlight the resolution to F major? Unless you meant that the F major actually starts at m25 and m23/24's a transition into it. Personally I felt the key change begun on m23. Nonetheless I guess having the time and key sigs coincide looks neater.
Oops sorry I meant to say coincide with the timesig change. Besides that, my reasoning was that seeing the A naturals would highlight the major third to demonstrate that we resolved on the major chord, as opposed to the key signature saying "some accidentals have changed" and having the reader figure out what the key change implied (a shift from minor to major). That said, maybe it just makes more sense in my head. It's what my gut tells me would look best, but it's fine you leave it you want to.

Anyway, checking the rest now. Sorry for the wait!
- You can afford to extend the melody note on beat 1 of m. 8 and 18 to its full length (dotted half) like the original, since the pedal takes care of the sustain while the reader hits the lower notes.
- I don't think the Dn in the left hand is present in m. 18/20 like on the first page.
- I think m. 25/41 should have an F on beat 2 (LH pattern similar to the following measures)
- I think the LH of m. 30 would make more sense using F# instead of Gb because of the G in the right hand (might need courtesy accidentals on the following measure if so)
- Are the last eight bars a custom ending?

Once all this is taken care of, I'll make a final formatting pass before I'm done with this one. Great work as usual!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

FiveNineSquared

Okay, removed those accents too (I felt they showed the start of the phrases but there're phrase lines I guess)

Hm, I think I'd just go with your suggestion then. But I can't move the key sig without needing to re-write the entire mus file lol
Could you help move it when you're doing that formatting pass in the end?

Thanks for the checks; I've changed the things you mentioned -- yeah, the last bars aren't in the original.

Latios212

Okay, all sounds good :D Went ahead and did my final cleanup, which involved hiding all those tempo markings at the end and a number of other small things. I think the only other thing to note is (generally speaking) to end the hairpins before the barline if the new dynamic comes at the beginning of the next measure and it's close enough to be clear, as in this case.

As usual, let me know if I've messed something up but I approve now :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

They used that motif again here I guess.

Some things:
-Beat 4 of bars 10 and 21 don't feel that heavy to me.  Particularly 21 the last beat sounds like almost the lightest out of all of them in the original whereas it's the only one you give a four note chord to it in the left.
-Are the final eight bars original?  If so, then they should be marked as such, and if not then I need a source for them because they're not in the video.
-The playback tempo is not set correctly for some reason.

Other than that it checks out to me.

FiveNineSquared

- After listening to it again, m21 sounds like it's doing a slight dimuendo. I didn't notice that. Imo I feel that just removing the accents on beat 4 would be alright, but I'm down for removing the F in m21 beat 4 too if you guys feel like it's too heavy.

- Yeah, they're not in the original (I told Lat that actually). How would you mark it though?

- I think that's on Lat's end... the files I uploaded before were at the correct tempo :p

Latios212

Yea, just removing the accents sounds good.

Just something like "Optional Ending" would work fine.

Sorry, fixed the tempo marking! And the above stuff as well.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: FiveNineSquared on February 01, 2020, 08:19:47 AMImo I feel that just removing the accents on beat 4 would be alright, but I'm down for removing the F in m21 beat 4 too if you guys feel like it's too heavy.

I think that removing the left hand F would be a good idea.  It's already doubled in the right hand part; I just think it's too thick a sound for what's in the original there.

The other stuff looks good to me.

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera