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Food/Cooking Update

Started by Libera, January 26, 2020, 01:46:34 PM

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LeviR.star

Quote from: Libera on February 10, 2020, 03:21:37 PMSorry, but there was a deadline.  Maybe if everything else gets done in enough time we can have a look at it, but absolutely no promises.

Oop, sorry, I thought today was the 9th. Never mind~
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

NineLives

Here's a little update on my sheet. I've got most of Static's fixes taken care of. All that's left are the chords and the other stuff for measures 45-52. Here's the current file: "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX

mastersuperfan

Quote from: Rubikium on February 06, 2020, 11:24:13 AM[GBA] Kirby & The Amazing Mirror - "Olive Ocean"
I was writing up a post and decided to just post an updated file since I'm guessing you use MuseScore and I'm not sure how many of these changes are doable without full Finale:

[MUS] [XML]

Changes I made:
- The page 2 header and page number were a little outside the margin, so I dragged them down a bit. Also, the header font size was small for some reason, even though it said it was size 12, so I changed it to 14 and it looks normal now? Not sure what's going on there.
- In m1 LH, the second and third notes should be Ab and An, instead of An and Bb. Also, the second note should be written as an 8th instead of two tied 16ths.
- Your beaming was funky for some reason. All notes within the same beat should be beamed together, including 16ths beamed over rests (probably didn't work as intended because of importing), so I rebeamed everything.
- I added a missing bass note on beat 3.25 in m15-17 and m19-21. (I think it may or may not actually be a pitched percussion note, but either way, it's a pitched note that's there and I think it helps to make the bassline sound a little less empty in the sheet.)
- I made the "Stomp" and "Tap pen/pencil" directions italicized since that's how performance directions are typically expressed in Finale (although feel free to change it if you prefer it unitalicized/in larger text size).
- I edited the appearance of the courtesy key signature before the repeat by making the final barline invisible and shrinking the size of the last invisible measure.

Other suggestions beyond what I changed:
- I think you could try to fill in the rest of Layer 2 in the RH in m15-21, since that line doesn't stop actually halfway through the measure (it keeps going the whole way through).
- Tiny thing, but I would consider moving the "Composed by/Arranged by" info down a little bit since it's pretty close to the subtitle and there's a lot of space between it and the first system. Purely a matter of personal preference.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 12:07:31 PMKirby's Return to Dream Land
NEW!   Dangerous Dinner[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF] [Original] 


- This is a matter of personal arranging preference, but the intro to the original is pretty driving and the bassline by itself is a little bare—I would personally consider writing it like this (not actually playing it all with the left hand like I wrote it, but give the octaves to the LH and the higher notes to the RH), although of course it's up to you:
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- Sounds like there are some harmonies you could add to the RH melody on m16 beat 2.5, m20 beat 2.5, and m24 beat 1.5 and 2.5 (last two notes).
- m11 RH beat 4.5 (last note), I'm not hearing a chord—only the F.
- For m12 RH, I think you could raise those two chords by an octave so that the contour from m11 to m12 goes upwards, and also so that it goes higher than m8 since it's building up to the next section.
- For m12 RH, I would also tie over beat 2.5 for another eighth note since it's held longer.
- I'm hearing the Bb in m19 RH beat 4 as an octave lower than you've written it.
- Was curious why you chose to make m13 mezzo forte since I don't think it's any softer than the previous section (if anything, I think it sounds fuller/more built up).
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on February 09, 2020, 03:39:51 PMTeatime Joy
-The harp part just goes MIA in bars 2-3 for some reason?  Maybe you didn't hear it because it's kind of quiet?
-A missing D on the second beat of bar 12?  Although I don't hear it in bar 29 so it may just be my ears playing tricks on me.
-There's a Bn and Cn on beats 1 and 2 of bar 13 in the pizz strings part.  Same for bar 30.
-Harp part disappears again in bars 19 and 20.  And doesn't feature in 38 either.
-You lose the sus4 sound on beat 2 of bar 34 by omitting the lower Cn.  Maybe try putting one just below the melody Dn?  You did it before elsewhere so might work here too.
- For the missing harp parts - that was deliberate because it was so quiet. I felt that those notes on the piano stood out too much especially in m. 3 (and similar) where the G would play both on beat 1 and beat 2.
- For bar 12, I don't really hear a D on beat 2 and while it fits the chord I don't really hear a difference in texture here that a triad would make.
- I deliberately omitted those notes in 13 and 20 because they interfered with the descending right hand figure
- See above
- Yeah, that would work! I added the C back in m. 25 too (albeit an octave up).

Thanks for looking! Files updated with the last comment. Because of how sparse the song is I really just wanted to keep it to a very well-defined melody and accompaniment, which I feel like those omitted parts would distract from.

Quote from: Libera on February 09, 2020, 03:39:51 PMGourmet Race
-Sometimes the bass contour doesn't quite line up with the original, like bar 26 for example where the bass goes down to the G twice, rather than up and then down.  I assume it's to avoid the consecutive Gs but worth mentioning anyway.
-I think that, once again, there are places that slurs could go a long way to help with clarity in the articulation, particularly in bars 49-50.
- Yeah, that was an attempt to avoid the G overlapping with the dyad on beat 2. Other places for the bass you might see the right note but at an adjusted octave to adjust for not overlapping with the dyads and not wanting the jumps to be too large. Let me know if you see anything that's off.
- I think for most of the C section it's pretty straightforward, but yeah those last two bars could use a bit of clarification. I've also added staccato-tenutos for beats 3-4 of m. 26; I think everywhere else in the B section is alright.

Files also updated with the above comment!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Yug_Guy

#109
Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 09, 2020, 01:52:06 AM- I would specify "L.H." in the "play one octave lower than written" note.
- The consecutive 16ths in the LH in m1-3 are really hard to play with the thumb. I would suggest changing those into single 8th notes since it shouldn't sound that different anyway.
- I think a lot of the eighth notes in the melody (m5-19) could use staccatos.
- I'm also hearing an F and an A (in addition to the D, which is the highest note) on beat 3 of m30 RH. (also, a D on the final beat)
Fixed.

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 09, 2020, 01:52:06 AM- m3-4 in the RH looks pretty difficult to play, and while I imagine the notes are there, that's not really the line I hear most on a first listen to the original. Is there an easier/more prominent melody to include there instead?
This monstrosity is the full melody line in m1-4:
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I tried condensing it as much as I could, but it's not easy. If you have any other suggestions after looking at this, I'll try them out.

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 09, 2020, 01:52:06 AM- m5, m8, m11, m13, and m16 all have a 16th-note triplet instead of two 16th notes on beat 1.5. This is also true of m17 and m19, but it's much harder to play a repeated dyad that fast (with a single note you can use different fingers in rapid succession), so I would only make the change in the aforementioned measures.
Maybe, but I don't think most pianists would be able to play it (myself included). I feel like it's more accessible this way.

I also lowered the R.H. in m1-4 down an octave to better fit the original.

QuoteKirby Super Star [SNES]
"Peanut Plain" (Replacement)MUSMUSXMIDIPDFOriginal

Zeila

Quote from: Static on February 08, 2020, 09:14:56 PM- m20: That grace note slur might look better flipped upwards instead.
I like it the way it is now, although I adjusted the curve a bit

Quote from: Static on February 08, 2020, 09:14:56 PM- m25, 27 RH: Any reason you went with 32nds instead of grace notes? Either is fine, I'm just wondering. The B# in m27 would probably be better written as a C in this case. The main reason is to match m25 but there's another harmonic line of reasoning I was thinking about. It's kind of weird bc there are so few notes here, but if you think of the dyads in the LH as being part of parallel dominant 7th chords, then the chord here is a G7, and B# isn't a part of that chord/scale (even if the key is something different, I think its better to pick accidentals based on the current chord or scale, but it depends) Sorry, this is kind of a lot to say for one tiny little thing, so if you have any questions let me know.
No, this makes sense. Thanks for your input! About the grace notes, I wanted it to be more precise but then there wouldn't be much difference between those and 32nd notes anyways if at all. Grace notes are easier to read too (and it's more consistent with the rest of the arrangement), so I changed it

Link's Memories: "Silent Princess"

Static

Quote from: NineLives on February 10, 2020, 04:37:07 PMHere's a little update on my sheet. I've got most of Static's fixes taken care of. All that's left are the chords and the other stuff for measures 45-52. Here's the current file: "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX
What you fixed looks good, but you missed a couple bass notes:
- m18 LH: Bns should be Bs
- m55 LH beat 4: Ab should be An

Those chords in m1-4 sound a little off, so I listened back, and here's what I got:
- m1: This chord is an Em7 chord (E-G-B-D), with the E as the bass note.
- m2: These chords are Eb7 chords (Eb-G-Bb-Db), with the Eb as the bass note.
- m3: This chord is a Dm7 chord (D-F-A-C), with the D as the bass note.
- m4: This chord is a G7 chord (G-B-D-F), with the G as the bass note.
I think making these adjustments will make this section sound more rich and lively.

In addition, I would suggest making the rolled chord in m28 a Bb major chord instead. Even though the chimes in the original play a G chord, it sounds out-of-place on piano because of the tonal differences between the two instruments.

If you want some ideas or help for those harmonies in 45-52, let me know.



Quote from: Zeila on February 10, 2020, 07:51:15 PMI like it the way it is now, although I adjusted the curve a bit
No, this makes sense. Thanks for your input! About the grace notes, I wanted it to be more precise but then there wouldn't be much difference between those and 32nd notes anyways if at all. Grace notes are easier to read too (and it's more consistent with the rest of the arrangement), so I changed it

Link's Memories: "Silent Princess"

Just make the 2 8th rests in m25 RH a quarter rest, and the 3 8th rests in m27 RH a dotted quarter rest, and this one's all set. Everything else looks great!

Dekkadeci

Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 12:07:31 PMKirby's Return to Dream Land
NEW!   Dangerous Dinner[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF] [Original] 

After listening to your arrangement and the original, I'm in agreement with mastersuperfan about these points:

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 10, 2020, 05:16:32 PM- This is a matter of personal arranging preference, but the intro to the original is pretty driving and the bassline by itself is a little bare—I would personally consider writing it like this (not actually playing it all with the left hand like I wrote it, but give the octaves to the LH and the higher notes to the RH), although of course it's up to you:
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- Sounds like there are some harmonies you could add to the RH melody on m16 beat 2.5, m20 beat 2.5, and m24 beat 1.5 and 2.5 (last two notes).
- m11 RH beat 4.5 (last note), I'm not hearing a chord—only the F.
- For m12 RH, I think you could raise those two chords by an octave so that the contour from m11 to m12 goes upwards, and also so that it goes higher than m8 since it's building up to the next section.
- I'm hearing the Bb in m19 RH beat 4 as an octave lower than you've written it.
I definitely see why you've moved the melody in Bars 5-8 up an octave from the original (it would collide nastily with the accompaniment otherwise), but I'd like a nod in your Bars 9-12 towards the melody moving up an octave between Bars 5-8 and Bars 9-12 in the original. I was primarily thinking a piu forte in Bar 9 to substitute for what would otherwise be a move an octave up.

If you're prone, I'm hearing additional notes in the brass in the original instead of eighth rests in the RH of Bars 21 and 23 - and they're both the D above Middle C. I'm also hearing m24 beat 1.5 and 2.5 (last two notes) at an octave above what you've written there, although I can also see why you opted not to jump them up an octave.

Zeila

Quote from: Static on February 10, 2020, 08:31:13 PMJust make the 2 8th rests in m25 RH a quarter rest, and the 3 8th rests in m27 RH a dotted quarter rest, and this one's all set. Everything else looks great!
Alrighty, thanks!

Posting the link again for convenience:
Link's Memories: "Silent Princess"

mastersuperfan

#114
Working Dough (Rhythm Heaven Fever) - Latios212
- Tempo should be 140 BPM instead of 150.
- m17 RH beat 4 should be B# instead of G#.
- m58 LH beats 1-2 should have the same rhythm as the RH.
- There's an accented bass note on the very last beat.
- Was wondering why the last four notes in m40 LH don't also have articulations on them.
- You might consider raising beat 4 of m4 RH an octave, since it's pretty high in the original and markedly low here. (I would also suggest putting an accent on it, instead of just a tenuto.) You might also consider adding the following notes (but since they're softer than the notes around it I can understand if you don't want to):
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- I was wondering why you omitted all the high orchestral hits (e.g. where you could double the melody an octave higher) in places like the last two notes of m24, last note in m28, etc. While I can understand if you want to preserve the low octave of the main melody in places like m36, m53-56, and m60, I think it would be nice to add them in other places. In particular, I don't see any reason not to have them on m52 beat 4 and and m64 beat 4, where you don't have anything else going on there anyway. (At the very least, if not adding the hits, I would suggest adding accents to these notes.)
- From what I can tell, it seems like you're generally using the bass clef whenever the melody goes down to F or lower. However, I think that m20 and m36 (which are very similar) should be in the same clef for consistency's sake. On second look, though, you kept m24 in treble clef—was that intentional, or is there a different rule/pattern you're going for?


Fantastical Feast (Fire Emblem Fates) - Libera
Great sheet of a very interesting (and complicated) track (although some parts hurt my wrists just looking at it, lol). The only thing I was wondering about is whether you had considered writing m27-32 in three 3/4-bar phrases. Though I can't hear a clear subdivision of beats either way, I was thinking it might subdivide the right hand better in m27-28 and the left hand better in m31-32, and it also is more continuous with the rest of the sheet and m33 onwards. The way you have it now also makes sense, though, since it's continuous with the 4/4 in m25-26 and splits everything into 2-bar phrases. It's up to you and how you hear it/want it to be expressed, but I just wanted to offer the possibility.

Also I don't play much piano so you probably know more than I do here, but I'm used to seeing pedal markings in the same system vertically aligned? i.e. m13 and m21 look kind of weird to me since one pedal marking is higher than the other, but this might be a perfectly acceptable way of notation that I just haven't seen before.


Spinach Rag (Final Fantasy VI) - Static
Cool track, very accurate sheet, notes seem good. Just a few things:
- The slur is touching the flat in m28.
- I would put a courtesy natural on the E in m8 and m16 RH.
- You use A# in m25 and Bb in m49. Not sure if there's an actual difference in chord progression here (if there is, keep it as is) or if it might be better to make it consistent between the two. Regardless, I would also suggest a courtesy natural on the A in m26 LH.
EDIT: Also the BPM should be 99 instead of 100 lol. I know some people are into rounding tempos to metronome numbers but I personally like to put the exact number since they can just round it to the closest one if their metronome doesn't have it. Up to you.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

Here's a another update. All right, so I got the left hand chords and the 45-52 stuff done as far as I can tell. The harmony that changes from the fourth count of 50 seems to only last for a few notes, but not for the rest of the section, I could be mishearing it though, it's really hard to tell in the source for me, pitched up or not. "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX

mastersuperfan

"Agh! Won goph in mah mouph! Blech! Ptooey!" (Fire Emblem Awakening) - Libera
- lol fidget spinner
- Parentheses in the wrong octave for the G on m13/17 RH beat 4?
- In m19 RH, beat 3 sounds like a held dotted quarter and beat 4 sounds staccato to me.
- On m21/m25 RH beat 4, I'm hearing an E in addition to the F and C.
- You might consider making the second half of m12 staccato, though I understand if it's written this way to make more sense pianistically.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Maelstrom

Radiak488417 - PMD - Apple Woods has been accepted

Maelstrom

Egg Engines - MSF
Big fan of this arrangement, but I have a few issues that mostly stem from spacing. m16 has the 16th note getting nearly the same space as the surrounding 8th notes, which isn't great. I see that you did it to preserve the hypermeter, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Keep it if you like. The other issue is one that I'm a bit more adamant about. The system of m25 is just a mess. The notes need room to breathe and sticking to the hypermeter won't let that happen. Pulling the 4th measure down to the next system is one option that works reasonably well. The other option is to pull down m16 and respace the  measures from there, so you end up with 4 systems on page 2. Up to you whatever you choose, but I don't think that leaving that system alone is a good idea.

Maelstrom

Godot ~ The Dark Fragrance of Coffee - MSF
I'm not picking on your sheets, you just arranged songs I know well.

I can see why you left out some of the 2nd layer notes for payability in  parts, but I think adding them on the last meat of m17 would enhance it. Unless, of course, the tone you're going for is never playing more than the the one note per measure.

I am physically unable to find any other issues. Good job.