NinSheetMusic Forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

The monkeys are up to something...

Pages: 1 ... 7 8 [9] 10 11 12

Author Topic: Food/Cooking Update  (Read 3499 times)

Maelstrom

  • Resident Fire Emblem Expert
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 7000
  • anime was a mistake
    • View Profile
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #120 on: February 13, 2020, 04:32:25 AM »

- The "Dim.Dream" part of the title shouldn't have a space between "Dim." and "Dream".
- m55 RH: Courtesy natural for the An perhaps?
- m60-61: Ending numbers are a bit too close to the notes for my liking.
- m66: mf is touching barline.
- Make sure you specify that you want the LH 8vb to end after m97.
- https
- Developer should be "ZUN Soft", along with publisher Amusement Makers (this applies to all the PC-98 Touhou games btw).
That is a horrible use of title punctuation.
I don't see how a courtesy accidental would be of any use in m55 ......
Everything else was fixed.

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #121 on: February 13, 2020, 05:57:54 AM »

Some more feedback, this time for Sweet Sweet Canyon:

Sweet Sweet Canyon (Mario Kart 8) - NineLives
Have you considered using cut time with half note = 124 instead? 248 is really fast and, barring the fact that I only perceive "the beat" twice per measure, lots of measures can't even go up to 248 BPM. I'm thinking cut time might be more reasonable here.

I'm also a little concerned with playability in some parts, especially where you have fast consecutive octaves and/or jumps. One notable case is m32 and m36, which I give alternatives to below, but other than that, my worry is in places with consecutive eighth-note octaves like m22, m24, m25, etc. In particular, going from an "and" to a beat (which requires a lot of speed given the swing) could be very hard. In the RH, on the second note of m22, last note of m22, second note of m24, last note of m24, second note of m25, etc. etc. I would consider omitting the lower note entirely (since you don't need octaves on every note, especially when it's not on the beat and surrounded by other octaves), or simply putting parentheses around the lower note to indicate that they're optional.

I'm hearing some differences in the bassline compared to what Static said:
- I'm not hearing the high G in m8 LH beat 2 or the B at the end of m8 LH; beat 2 just sounds like an eighth rest and I would make beat 4 a quarter note.
- Similarly, beat 4 of m12 LH also sounds like just a quarter note to me.
- Instead of the G and D at the end of m24 LH, I hear a rest for beat 3 and a quarter note G for beat 4.
- For m26, I hear beat 1 LH (G) an octave higher.
- For m27, I think it would be better just to remove the grace note and raise the G back up an octave. What happens here, and also multiple times in m26, is that the bass starts on the high note and then slides down. When I listen to it at full speed, however, I mainly hear just the high note, which also follows the ascending line of the bass better, so I would just use that note. (Since this happens multiple times in m26 too, I think it would be impractical to notate all instances with consecutive octave-jump grace notes.)
- m36 LH beat 3 sounds like it's tied to the first quarter note of beat 4.
- I hear the G on m44 beat 1 an octave up. (The downward slide happens again here, but I personally think just the high note is best, especially since that's what the F# in m43 leads to.)

Other note things:
- There are some harmonies you could add to the RH in m3-4 like so:

- The bottom note of the dyad on beat 2 of m11 RH should be an A, not a G.
- Also in m11 RH, I would strongly suggest putting the accordion(?) part on top of beats 3 (note = C) and 4 (note = D).
- You might consider putting a grace note on the first note of m14 RH.
- Not sure about the tenuto in m17... tenutos are generally pretty ambiguous and it's the only one you use in the whole sheet so it's a bit out of place. Perhaps a two-note slur instead?
- For the sake of playability, I would strongly suggest removing the first note (G) in Layer 2 of m19 so that they don't have to make that massive jump in 0.08 seconds (1/3rd of a beat at 248 BPM). I don't think it adds that much since the violin line is harder to hear under the melody, especially when it first enters.
- m20 Layer 1 should look like this:

- I think it would be nice to have the last melody note in m28 RH, but obviously the rolled chord gets in the way. This is completely your choice, but if you want to be a bit more liberal with your arrangement, you could have the last melody note on beat 2.5 there and then delay the rolled chord until beat 4.
- m29 melody should be D-Db-C-Cb, not D-C-Cb-B. Also, there's a harmony of Bb-Bbb-(nothing on the third note)-Ab under the top voice. I would strongly suggest including this and omitting the octaves on the second and third triplet notes because those consecutive octaves are very hard to play that fast. Here's a picture of the revision I'm suggesting:

- Similarly, I would do something like this for m36 (although there seem to be fewer harmonies here);

- I would also suggest overlapping the same note in Layer 1 and Layer 2 on m43 RH beat 3 to make it clear to the pianist what the Layer 2 line is actually doing, even if it doesn't necessarily change the way it's played:

- I actually wonder if the half note on m48 RH beat 1 would be clearer if it weren't offset, even if that causes it to clash with Layer 1 a bit more. Not sure though.

There are also lots of places where courtesy accidentals would be really nice, including but not limited to:
- Beat 2 (E natural) of m7, m11, m19, m59 LH.
- Beat 3 (G natural) of m35 LH.
- Beat 4 (A natural) of m55 LH.

Formatting things:
- Move the 8va across m25-28 up so it's not clashing with the notes in m25.
- Also move the 8va up and have it start further to the left in m44, so it's completely over the chord.
- Could you move m17-20 down so that the slur isn't getting really close to the system above? Either that or delete the slur entirely since I'm not sure it adds a ton.
- Also move the tempo marking a little higher.
- Maybe move the 8va marking in m49-52 up by like, a smidge.
- Finally, your arpeggio signs go a little high above the top note of the chord in m4 and m44; I'd shorten the top a little bit.
[close]



Egg Engines - MSF
Big fan of this arrangement, but I have a few issues that mostly stem from spacing. m16 has the 16th note getting nearly the same space as the surrounding 8th notes, which isn't great. I see that you did it to preserve the hypermeter, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Keep it if you like. The other issue is one that I'm a bit more adamant about. The system of m25 is just a mess. The notes need room to breathe and sticking to the hypermeter won't let that happen. Pulling the 4th measure down to the next system is one option that works reasonably well. The other option is to pull down m16 and respace the  measures from there, so you end up with 4 systems on page 2. Up to you whatever you choose, but I don't think that leaving that system alone is a good idea.
Godot ~ The Dark Fragrance of Coffee - MSF
I'm not picking on your sheets, you just arranged songs I know well.

I can see why you left out some of the 2nd layer notes for payability in  parts, but I think adding them on the last meat of m17 would enhance it. Unless, of course, the tone you're going for is never playing more than the the one note per measure.

I am physically unable to find any other issues. Good job.

Took your suggestions for Egg Engines (moved m16 down one system and put m25 in a three-bar system) and for Godot. Thanks for the feedback; files updated:

"Godot ~ The Fragrance of Dark Coffee" (replacement) - [NDS] Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

"Egg Engines" - [Wii] Kirby's Return to Dream Land
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 138
  • Any feedback for my sheets I'd gladly appreciate!
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #122 on: February 13, 2020, 04:24:55 PM »

Have you considered using cut time with half note = 124 instead? 248 is really fast and, barring the fact that I only perceive "the beat" twice per measure, lots of measures can't even go up to 248 BPM. I'm thinking cut time might be more reasonable here.
I did try both of those before, but it messed up with the swing in the playback, so I changed it to 4/4 and 248. However, I just figured out how to get the tempo you wanted to work. Is there a way I can make the key signature cut time but still have the original 4/4 in playback? Other than that, I think I got all else done. "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX
Logged

Maelstrom

  • Resident Fire Emblem Expert
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 7000
  • anime was a mistake
    • View Profile

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #124 on: February 13, 2020, 10:06:01 PM »

I did try both of those before, but it messed up with the swing in the playback, so I changed it to 4/4 and 248. However, I just figured out how to get the tempo you wanted to work. Is there a way I can make the key signature cut time but still have the original 4/4 in playback? Other than that, I think I got all else done. "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX

The easiest way to make that change is to right-click on the measure and go to Edit Time Signature > More Options > Use a Different Time Signature for Display and use 4/4 as the underlying time signature with cut time as the one being displayed.
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

  • Updater
  • Flashman Funk
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 964
    • View Profile
    • YouTube
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #125 on: February 13, 2020, 10:50:48 PM »

I did try both of those before, but it messed up with the swing in the playback, so I changed it to 4/4 and 248. However, I just figured out how to get the tempo you wanted to work. Is there a way I can make the key signature cut time but still have the original 4/4 in playback? Other than that, I think I got all else done. "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX
Looks good. I went through all of msf's suggestions they check out so yeah. I would add a whole note C# to m50 to bring out the A major harmony there (right now it's ambiguous). 4/4 with a fast tempo is typical in many big band swing charts, but cut time is fine too, just follow msf's directions to make that happen. Once that's done I can approve...

Alrighty, thanks!

Posting the link again for convenience:
Link's Memories: "Silent Princess"
Looks awesome! Approved.

That is a horrible use of title punctuation.
I don't see how a courtesy accidental would be of any use in m55 ......
Everything else was fixed.
- I agree, but that's how most sources have it... Alternatively, you could use the full name, Dimensional Dream.
- m55 has A#s in the LH, so I think it would be warranted here. Up to you though.

Spinach Rag (Final Fantasy VI) - Static
Cool track, very accurate sheet, notes seem good. Just a few things:
- The slur is touching the flat in m28.
- I would put a courtesy natural on the E in m8 and m16 RH.
- You use A# in m25 and Bb in m49. Not sure if there's an actual difference in chord progression here (if there is, keep it as is) or if it might be better to make it consistent between the two. Regardless, I would also suggest a courtesy natural on the A in m26 LH.
EDIT: Also the BPM should be 99 instead of 100 lol. I know some people are into rounding tempos to metronome numbers but I personally like to put the exact number since they can just round it to the closest one if their metronome doesn't have it. Up to you.
I've fixed all the things.

NineLives

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 138
  • Any feedback for my sheets I'd gladly appreciate!
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #126 on: February 14, 2020, 12:45:31 AM »

Looks good. I went through all of msf's suggestions they check out so yeah. I would add a whole note C# to m50 to bring out the A major harmony there (right now it's ambiguous). 4/4 with a fast tempo is typical in many big band swing charts, but cut time is fine too, just follow msf's directions to make that happen. Once that's done I can approve...
Well, I got the first thing, but PrintMusic doesn't seem to have the extra option to change the appearance of the 4/4 while keeping its impression. I'd like help with that little change. The file/link above has been updated to have the C#.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2020, 12:52:42 AM by NineLives »
Logged

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #127 on: February 14, 2020, 05:05:16 AM »

Well, I got the first thing, but PrintMusic doesn't seem to have the extra option to change the appearance of the 4/4 while keeping its impression. I'd like help with that little change. The file/link above has been updated to have the C#.

Here's a link to the folders updated with cut time. I also added the Bbb in m32 since it seemed to have been converted to a An.

A few last things from me...
- The B on the bottom of beat 1.5 in m10 RH—I get that it's there in the original, but I'm not sure how well it translates to piano. You may or may not consider removing it if you like.
- yikes I didn't realize raising the 8va would make it so high everywhere from m45-end. I take back what I said before... it looks better lower. (Though—are you able to adjust the height of 8va in individual systems? It seems like the whole 8va has been raised uniformly.)
- A courtesy natural on the A on m15 RH beat 4 would be nice since the LH is playing Ab.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2020, 05:16:58 AM by mastersuperfan »
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 138
  • Any feedback for my sheets I'd gladly appreciate!
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #128 on: February 14, 2020, 03:25:00 PM »

- The B on the bottom of beat 1.5 in m10 RH—I get that it's there in the original, but I'm not sure how well it translates to piano. You may or may not consider removing it if you like.
- yikes I didn't realize raising the 8va would make it so high everywhere from m45-end. I take back what I said before... it looks better lower. (Though—are you able to adjust the height of 8va in individual systems? It seems like the whole 8va has been raised uniformly.)
- A courtesy natural on the A on m15 RH beat 4 would be nice since the LH is playing Ab.
Yes, you can move the individual 8vas. Well, here it is: "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX
Logged

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #129 on: February 15, 2020, 02:33:24 AM »

Yes, you can move the individual 8vas. Well, here it is: "Sweet Sweet Canyon" MUSX

All right, there are some more note and formatting things that I missed earlier, plus some things that Latios noticed, so here are the actual last few things from me before this is ready.

Here are files with the changes since I was already messing around with it myself in Finale.

Things that were changed:

- Re-displayed the Layer 2 rests in m12 for clarity (without the rests showing, it's not super clear that there are two layers in the first place).
- Deleted the staccato on beat 4 RH of m26 since that note sounds held to me.
- Changed m33 to reflect some additional higher notes that are there. If you would like to keep the contour of the violin line, you can delete the high B and move the G an octave down, although I do think that it translates nicely from the previous measure. It's your call.
- Added some harmonies in m36 RH that were missed before.
- So actually I misunderstood what was happening in m43 with the two layers. Some of the notes in the staccato voice were off so I edited those. I also added a slur to the melody on beat 4 to distinguish it from the staccato'd notes and (after discussing it with Latios) the dotted line indicating the melody. You have full discretion on whether or not you want to keep the slur and/or the dotted line, or if there's some other way you want to notate the two voices (it's a weird measure to notate cleanly).
- Flipped the Layer 1 chord down in m44 and adjusted the ties accordingly, since Layer 2 isn't in the way. Also flipped some of the Layer 1 notes in m45-46 and m49 and adjusted articulations accordingly.
- Removed the C# in m50 RH Layer 2 since it's actually still holding the E from m49 in the original. You could consider re-articulating the E in m50 but I decided against it while editing since it sounded a little weird to have E play twice consecutively on beat 1. (And I don't think there's enough visual space to tie m49 over to m50...)
- Edited the bottom notes of the dyads in m50-m51 since they were a bit off compared to the original.

Other than that, the only comment I have to make is regarding the LH in the last measure. From what I can tell, the original only has the bottom note (low G). If you want to be transcriptionally very accurate to the original, you could just change it to that. However, if this is an intentional stylistic choice, it works well and you're absolutely free to keep it as is. Just wanted to double-check with you on this.

Give all of these changes and the new file a once-over, make any more edits/changes if you want, and after that everything should be good!
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

  • NSM Overlord
  • Administrator
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5714
  • Wheeeee™
    • View Profile
    • YouTube channel
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #130 on: February 15, 2020, 03:17:03 AM »

Egg Engines - mastersuperfan
- Tiny thing - beam beats 1-2 together in the RH
Other than that this is good!

"Link's Memories: 'Silent Princess'" - Zeila
Notes look great!
- The last few measures would be better in bass clef for the left hand.
- Spacing between systems could be adjusted just a bit to use up the space a bit more evenly.
I made those couple of minor edits for you, so accepting!

"Frozen Pizza and Eggs (Shane's Theme)" - Code_Name_aGeek
- Could we include the dyads in the left hand? It would be a pretty simple addition to what we currently have and would add a bit more color without making it more difficult. In measures 1-2 C#s beneath the F#s, in m. 3-4 B's beneath the E's, in m. 5-6 A's beneath the C#'s, etc.
- Some of your RH notes are flipped in m. 9/17.
Logged
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #131 on: February 15, 2020, 04:32:55 AM »

Spinach Rag (Final Fantasy VI) - Static

- m32 RH beat 2 should just be a quarter note, not two eighth notes.
- Have you considered notating the LH in m1-4 and m51-52 in treble clef? For that matter, you might consider putting the whole thing in treble clef—or if not all of it, then more of it, since there are many places throughout (esp on the first page) where the LH uses a lot of ledger lines. Also I think it would provide better visual information on how close the two hands are to each other at any given point.
- Completely subjective, but I'm not sure that the dynamics difference between m1-20 and m20 onwards is equal to two dynamic levels. IMO I think it's only a one-level difference, but it doesn't matter much either way.

Otherwise, I approve.


Let's Go Down the Wine River (Super Mario RPG) - Static

- tempo is actually 127 BPM lol
- m8 LH beat 1 sounds like it should be a high E.
- m18 and m26 RH beat 4 Layer 1 should be an F, not a G.
- There you harmonies you could add to beats 2-4 in the RH of m20, m28, and m32. I'm hearing Eb's under all three notes in m32, and in m20/28, I'm hearing Eb's under beats 2-3 and an Eb and/or a C under beat 4.
- The RH harmonies also change with the eighth notes in m29 and m30. It might make sense to simplify or omit some of the harmonies in m30 for playability, but I don't see any reason not to include the ones on beat 4.5 of m29.
- Beats 2 and 4 in each measure in the LH all sound like at least triads to me. You might consider adding another note on top (e.g. add an Ab on top in m1, a G on top in m2, etc.) but it makes sense if you left them out if you thought the sound would be too muddy in a low register.
- For m8, does the crescendo mean to get louder for only that one measure and then go back to mezzo forte in m9? You have mezzo forte in both m1 and m9 so I just wanted to double check.
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Code_Name_Geek

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 128
  • Virtual Farmer Extraordinaire
    • View Profile
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #132 on: February 15, 2020, 06:24:59 AM »

"Frozen Pizza and Eggs (Shane's Theme)" - Code_Name_aGeek
- Could we include the dyads in the left hand? It would be a pretty simple addition to what we currently have and would add a bit more color without making it more difficult. In measures 1-2 C#s beneath the F#s, in m. 3-4 B's beneath the E's, in m. 5-6 A's beneath the C#'s, etc.
- Some of your RH notes are flipped in m. 9/17.
- Somehow those dyads escaped my ears completely when I did this, but they're in now and it sounds a lot fuller! Thanks!
- Fixed the flipped stems.
- I also tried to align the dynamics better in the first 8 bars; let me know if anything looks off there.

Updated files:
[MUS] [MUSX] [PDF] [MIDI]
Logged
On-site arrangements | Arrangement thread

#Finalev26articulationgang

mastersuperfan

  • Sleepless College Student
  • Updater
  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1184
  • BEEP BOOP BEEP
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #133 on: February 15, 2020, 07:12:33 AM »

Discussed Choco Island and Vanilla Lake (Beta) with Static and made the following edits:

Choco Island:
- Flattened the slur in m18 and shifted some chord marking positions so that they weren't too close to other things or poking into the previous measure.

Vanilla Lake (Beta):
- Changed the G at the end of m7 LH to an F#.
- Changed the quarter rest in m7 RH into two eighth rests.
- Added courtesy accidentals in m3, m5, m13, and m14.
- changed tempo from 124 to 123 lol

Both have been accepted.
Logged
there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Radiak488417

  • Video Game Midi
  • **
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 40
    • View Profile
Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #134 on: February 15, 2020, 08:07:15 AM »

For Sweet Sweet Canyon, this is sort of a minor thing but I think all the LH chords in the intro are actually voiced without the fifth. Also, am I crazy or should the whole bassline be an octave lower...?
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 7 8 [9] 10 11 12
 

Page created in 0.075 seconds with 23 queries.