[MUL] Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work - "Hard Rock Me" by Nine

Started by Zeta, February 04, 2020, 05:56:14 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Hard Rock Me
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Nine Lives

[attachment deleted by admin]

NineLives

Source:
Credit to LeviR.star for help on the formatting.

Libera

Most of my comments are about the left hand part as the melody notes look fine for the most part.

-Is there any reason not to make the first E chord in bars 1,3 etc be in root position?  The bass part is playing an E there so I think that would make the most sense.
-The F# on beat 4.5 of bar 8 and 12 should be an Fn.
-It should be a Dn on the bottom of the chord in bars 19-20, not an En.
-Again, I think that the chord in bar 21-22 should be in root position.
-Not sure about all the chord changes in bars 31-32.  I'm hearing them just as different E chords to begin with and later on it sounds like they restrike more towards the end of 32.  If you could have another look at this bit that'd be great.
-I think that we could do something more interesting in the left hand in bars 15 - 22.  You could restrike the bass notes as in the original or maybe follow the slow arpeggio-like stuff.  Try it out and see if you can come up with anything, because it moment it sounds quite empty compared to the original.
-The way that the structure is laid out isn't particularly pleasant but I can't come up with any alternatives that are much better so maybe we have the best we're going to get.  That being said, if anyone has any thoughts than I'd like to hear them.
-The 'to coda' I think is generally written with the symbol which I think is less confusing.
-I'd recommend a double barline before the segno.
-In terms of the overall layout, currently the coda is very squished and you have plenty of white space in other places.  With that in mind, this is my suggested layout:
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
-I don't hear the G# on beat 3.5 of bar 32.
-The pdf currently only has the second page on it for some reason?
-Double barline at the key change in bar 22.

Sorry about the wait!

NineLives

Note changes and other small stuff has been fixed. I am still stuck on these two a bit:
Quote from: Libera on March 26, 2020, 08:15:47 AM-Not sure about all the chord changes in bars 31-32.  I'm hearing them just as different E chords to begin with and later on it sounds like they restrike more towards the end of 32.  If you could have another look at this bit that'd be great.
-I think that we could do something more interesting in the left hand in bars 15 - 22.  You could restrike the bass notes as in the original or maybe follow the slow arpeggio-like stuff.  Try it out and see if you can come up with anything, because it moment it sounds quite empty compared to the original.
On measures 31 and 32, those are the chords I hear, though, to be honest, I might just be hearing them wrong, but listening to the section from both the source and the playback sound very much the same to me.
For 15 through 22, I have just the bass part there. I tried to put the top two notes of the chord to go along with the rhythm of the bass line, but it didn't sound too pleasing and just kind of looked sloppy when putting in the tied whole notes there instead. It also looked sloppy to have the arpeggio-like section written on either the right or left hand in addition to their main parts. I'm wondering if it'd be better to just ditch the chords and stick to the main bass line for the entire piece.
Aside from that, my repeat and coda seem to have gotten confused when I was changing up the formatting, so I may need some help on making the playback work correctly again.

NineLives

All right, so for measures 15 through 22, I decided to use pedal markings. Thanks to Libera for helping me set those up in Finale as well as helping to fix the repeat situation!

Libera

Quote from: Libera on March 26, 2020, 08:15:47 AM-Is there any reason not to make the first E chord in bars 1,3 etc be in root position?  The bass part is playing an E there so I think that would make the most sense.

^ This still.  In fact, I also noticed that there should probably be a G# below the B in the chord on beat 3 as well.

Quote from: NineLives on March 28, 2020, 08:41:23 PMOn measures 31 and 32, those are the chords I hear, though, to be honest, I might just be hearing them wrong, but listening to the section from both the source and the playback sound very much the same to me.

I had another listen.  Honestly I don't hear anything like what you've written in for the left hand there at all.  The chord doesn't sound like it changes in bar 31 and there's a lot more going on towards the end of bar 32 that you're arrangement is missing completely.  Sounds more like some Bsus4 thing going on in bar 32 than any C#m or A chords to me.  It's probably more useful to try and follow the bass line in that section which might help to get it sounding more accurate.

NineLives

Quote from: Libera on April 10, 2020, 12:12:27 PMThis still.  In fact, I also noticed that there should probably be a G# below the B in the chord on beat 3 as well.

The reason why it's not a root E chord is because I want the keyboard part's chord since I feel it's pretty important chord and if I did the E chord, I would be able to to do that. I put the bottom G# from the chord you're wanting at the bottom because that's playable. I'm also wondering how the B on beat 3.5 would be played if beat 3 also had the G# attached to it unless we're saying it only plays for that half of a beat.

Quote from: Libera on April 10, 2020, 12:12:27 PMI had another listen.  Honestly I don't hear anything like what you've written in for the left hand there at all.  The chord doesn't sound like it changes in bar 31 and there's a lot more going on towards the end of bar 32 that you're arrangement is missing completely.  Sounds more like some Bsus4 thing going on in bar 32 than any C#m or A chords to me.  It's probably more useful to try and follow the bass line in that section which might help to get it sounding more accurate.

Well, I did some digging and got a look at the original midi file from the creator's website, and found that what I was hearing was the E and bottom A for beat 2.5 and that the second and third chord in 32 are how I wrote them and not Bsus4. For the end of bar 32, would you be wanting more of the bass line in there if possible?

Libera

Quote from: NineLives on April 10, 2020, 07:00:03 PMThe reason why it's not a root E chord is because I want the keyboard part's chord since I feel it's pretty important chord and if I did the E chord, I would be able to to do that.

I mean it's the same chord either way just an inversion that reflects the original more closely.  If you really don't want to change it then fair enough, but I personally think it would be better in root position.

Quote from: NineLives on April 10, 2020, 07:00:03 PMI put the bottom G# from the chord you're wanting at the bottom because that's playable. I'm also wondering how the B on beat 3.5 would be played if beat 3 also had the G# attached to it unless we're saying it only plays for that half of a beat.

Pedal use is always an option.  But if you'd prefer to keep it simpler and leave out the G# then fair enough.

Quote from: NineLives on April 10, 2020, 07:00:03 PMWell, I did some digging and got a look at the original midi file from the creator's website, and found that what I was hearing was the E and bottom A for beat 2.5 and that the second and third chord in 32 are how I wrote them and not Bsus4. For the end of bar 32, would you be wanting more of the bass line in there if possible?

Mostly I'd like it to sound a bit more like the original.  The chords are one part of that, but another part is the rhythms and the last two full bars in the arrangement miss out a lot of it, particularly in the bass.  So yes, more bass would be good.  You could move the harmony to sit underneath the melody and follow the bass probably verbatim in the left hand.  (In fact, I think that pretty much the whole arrangement (barring bars 7-14) would benefit by using a similar schema.)

NineLives

All right. I'm keeping the first two chords discussed as is. I've gotten to a more acceptable ending.
Quote from: Libera on April 15, 2020, 04:24:35 PMYou could move the harmony to sit underneath the melody and follow the bass probably verbatim in the left hand.  (In fact, I think that pretty much the whole arrangement (barring bars 7-14) would benefit by using a similar schema.)
The most I feel comfortable doing this for is the bridge section from 15 to 22, so I changed that part for its chords.

mastersuperfan

Looks good! A couple of small things:
- The way you have the melody written in m7-14 suggests that it should be played legato whereas the LH has some staccatos, whereas the original track has a rather staccato-y melody as well. You can keep the RH as is if you'd like, but you might also consider changing it so that the RH and LH are rhythmically consistent (i.e. having similar note durations and staccatos on the same notes).
- On beat 4.5 of m1/3/5 LH (and in the coda), flip the bottom two ties of the triads downward (ctrl+F). Also flip the bottom tie on beat 2.5 of m31 RH.
- Even though you have the pedal markings, I would still recommend writing m15-22 in two layers for clarity: the melody in one layer, the held chords in another (see below). That said, this is a tad more crowded, but I would still suggest this because it clarifies what does and doesn't belong to the melody here.


- The beginning mf dynamic marking could be moved upward a bit. The forte in m31 could also be moved right a smidge to be centered with the noteheads.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

Quote from: mastersuperfan on June 16, 2020, 01:04:08 PMLooks good! A couple of small things:
- The way you have the melody written in m7-14 suggests that it should be played legato whereas the LH has some staccatos, whereas the original track has a rather staccato-y melody as well. You can keep the RH as is if you'd like, but you might also consider changing it so that the RH and LH are rhythmically consistent (i.e. having similar note durations and staccatos on the same notes).
- Even though you have the pedal markings, I would still recommend writing m15-22 in two layers for clarity: the melody in one layer, the held chords in another (see below). That said, this is a tad more crowded, but I would still suggest this because it clarifies what does and doesn't belong to the melody here.
Rest is done. I'm a little iffy on these though. Tell me what you think from what I've got now.

mastersuperfan

Looking better! A few last visual tweaks:
- The top tie in m1 LH should be flipped back down.
- The bottom two ties still need to be flipped down in m23 LH.
- You could also turn the quarter-note G on beat 3.5 of m12 RH to an eighth note (to match the LH).
- In m16 RH, flip all of the Layer 1 stems upward (L while note is highlighted).
- The slur at the end of m22 LH would look better if it were flipped upward and connected to the top of the chord in m23. It's possible to adjust manually, but the easier way is to move the notes in m22 into Layer 2 and delete and re-apply the slur.
- I think m31 RH would look better if the tied dyad on beat 4.5 was flipped upward (ties should remain downward; the dyad in m32 should also remain flipped downward). You might as well delete Layer 1 in m31 entirely and write the whole thing in Layer 2, which would automatically achieve this effect (except you still have to flip one tie downward).
- Hoo boy, the two layers make m19-20 look kind of messy. With some fiddling around, though, you can get something like this:


^^ Here's what I did:
- Added 0.10 space to the beginning of m19 (edit measure attributes) and used the accidental mover tool to move the natural to the left.
- Added 0.23 space to the beginning of m20 and used the note mover tool to move the RH whole notes to the left of the Layer 1 eighth note. Also moved the quarter note in the LH to be horizontally aligned with the A and D whole notes in the RH.
- Used the tie tool to slightly flatten and lower the topmost tie in m19 so it didn't clash with Layer 1.

Musically, everything sounds great, so once these touches are added, I'll give it a thumbs-up.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

I got all of it done except the last one. Unfortunately, PrintMusic doesn't give me the option to edit the spacing like that in the measure attribute editor, only the barlines. If it's all right, I'd like some help putting those final fixes in.

mastersuperfan

Here you go: https://www.dropbox.com/s/b4wi7n7onnz09b4/Leisure%20Suit%20Larry%205%20-%20Hard%20Rock%20Me%20%28revised%29.musx?dl=0

I also added a courtesy sharp to the F# in m21.

Note that since I use v26, the articulations might look weird when you open the file. If so, you'll probably have to delete and manually re-enter all of them, but hopefully that's okay since there aren't that many.

All things considered, this one will have my seal of approval once the files are updated.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives