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[NES] Air Fortress - "Title Screen / Prologue" by Jacopo Tore & smasher220

Started by Zeta, May 07, 2020, 09:38:07 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Air Fortress
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Title Screen / Prologue
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: Jacopo Tore & smasher220

[attachment deleted by admin]


Static

Cool song, cool sheet. Here's some things to consider:
  • It's annoying when you have just 1 extra system on a new page, isn't it? From my experience, I can't stand it lol. For this piece, I would sacrifice the even 2-measure distribution in some of the less-dense areas. Maybe combine m5-7 and m28-30 into two 3 measure systems, with everything else still being 2 measure systems. I don't think this creates too much clutter, and it's definitely better than having an almost-blank page.
  • m6 and similar spots (RH): The tie on beat 3 should be flipped up.
  • m16, 18, 20, 22 RH: In beat 1, since both layers share the same rhythm, you could move the 16th rest up more, and then move the lower layer beam up so there's some more space between it and the LH part.
That's all I got, nice work!

smasher220

Quote from: Static on May 12, 2020, 09:10:29 PMCool song, cool sheet. Here's some things to consider:
  • It's annoying when you have just 1 extra system on a new page, isn't it? From my experience, I can't stand it lol. For this piece, I would sacrifice the even 2-measure distribution in some of the less-dense areas. Maybe combine m5-7 and m28-30 into two 3 measure systems, with everything else still being 2 measure systems. I don't think this creates too much clutter, and it's definitely better than having an almost-blank page.
  • m6 and similar spots (RH): The tie on beat 3 should be flipped up.
  • m16, 18, 20, 22 RH: In beat 1, since both layers share the same rhythm, you could move the 16th rest up more, and then move the lower layer beam up so there's some more space between it and the LH part.
That's all I got, nice work!

Ok we change something (we also add some courtesy accidentals).
Regarding the layer we think there is no valid reason to change the current layout.
Can anyone help us with any opinion?

Static

Quote from: smasher220 on May 15, 2020, 06:59:14 AMRegarding the layer we think there is no valid reason to change the current layout.
Can anyone help us with any opinion?
Ah, that's my mistake, I apologize. I use an older version of Finale so sometimes things look messed up. Looking at the PDF, the rest placement looks fine.

My other issue was with how close the 2nd layer beams are to the top of the LH part. m16, 18, and 20 especially look squished. With the extra space on the bottom of each page, you have room to maybe increase the space between staves a bit for that section.


Static



JacopoTore

Could you please approve the score? I have some other score to add and I'm unable to add right now. Maybe you can unlock the limit of two scores? I hope so. In any case I'm available to adjust the score if need

mastersuperfan

Sorry for the wait, here's some more feedback (mainly formatting/notation; notes seem good):

- m2 RH beat 1 should be flipped downwards.
- In m2 LH, the beams of the top layer on beats 1 and 4 look way too stretched. It looks like they're being cross-staffed from the RH, but it would look better just to write those notes directly into the LH as their own layer. (Beats 1 and 4 of RH Layer 2 can just be hidden.)
- I think it would be better to do away with the cross-staff beaming on m3 beat 1. IMO it just looks really weird and doesn't add much clarity in terms of voicing.
- Bottom tie on m4 RH beat 2 should be flipped downwards.
- I think m5 LH beats 2-4 would look cleaner as three staccato'd quarters, instead of eighth notes, although ultimately that's up to preference.
- On RH beat 4 of m7/11/24/28 (and RH beat 3 of m14), the eighth rests should be moved down onto the staff at the normal height of an eighth rest.
- Beat 1 of m9 RH and beat 1 of m26 RH would probably look cleaner as a staccato'd eighth note instead of a sixteenth, especially since you have lots of (8th note) - (16th rest) - (16th note) patterns in this sheet.
- In m13 and m14, Layer 2 should stay in the RH on beats 2-3 instead of being cross-staffed to the LH since those intervals are way too big for the LH to play on its own. (Once you move it back to the RH, you can omit or parenthesize the low D in the triplet on beat 2 since that's already played by the LH.)
- I would remove the decrescendo from the last measure, since there's nothing a pianist can do to "decrescendo" a note that's already being held.
- You could put a D.C. at the end to indicate that the track loops (assuming it loops in-game; the video loops, so I imagine it does).
- I think some of the courtesy accidentals are unnecessary, specifically in m8, m12, and m22 because those ones come at the beginning of the system—right after the key signature is shown, so it shouldn't be confusing at all to omit them (and removing them would reduce clutter).
- Are you sure you're printing on the right size of paper when making the PDF? The MUS looks fine, but the margins and spacing on the PDF all look strange (specifically, the PDF has a very small right margin and a very big bottom margin).
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

JacopoTore


JacopoTore

Quote from: mastersuperfan on July 25, 2020, 12:28:28 PMSorry for the wait, here's some more feedback (mainly formatting/notation; notes seem good):

- m2 RH beat 1 should be flipped downwards.
- In m2 LH, the beams of the top layer on beats 1 and 4 look way too stretched. It looks like they're being cross-staffed from the RH, but it would look better just to write those notes directly into the LH as their own layer. (Beats 1 and 4 of RH Layer 2 can just be hidden.)
- I think it would be better to do away with the cross-staff beaming on m3 beat 1. IMO it just looks really weird and doesn't add much clarity in terms of voicing.
- Bottom tie on m4 RH beat 2 should be flipped downwards.
- I think m5 LH beats 2-4 would look cleaner as three staccato'd quarters, instead of eighth notes, although ultimately that's up to preference.
- On RH beat 4 of m7/11/24/28 (and RH beat 3 of m14), the eighth rests should be moved down onto the staff at the normal height of an eighth rest.
- Beat 1 of m9 RH and beat 1 of m26 RH would probably look cleaner as a staccato'd eighth note instead of a sixteenth, especially since you have lots of (8th note) - (16th rest) - (16th note) patterns in this sheet.
- In m13 and m14, Layer 2 should stay in the RH on beats 2-3 instead of being cross-staffed to the LH since those intervals are way too big for the LH to play on its own. (Once you move it back to the RH, you can omit or parenthesize the low D in the triplet on beat 2 since that's already played by the LH.)
- I would remove the decrescendo from the last measure, since there's nothing a pianist can do to "decrescendo" a note that's already being held.
- You could put a D.C. at the end to indicate that the track loops (assuming it loops in-game; the video loops, so I imagine it does).
- I think some of the courtesy accidentals are unnecessary, specifically in m8, m12, and m22 because those ones come at the beginning of the system—right after the key signature is shown, so it shouldn't be confusing at all to omit them (and removing them would reduce clutter).
- Are you sure you're printing on the right size of paper when making the PDF? The MUS looks fine, but the margins and spacing on the PDF all look strange (specifically, the PDF has a very small right margin and a very big bottom margin).

First of all THANK YOU for all the help you have given me.
About the point:
Quote- You could put a D.C. at the end to indicate that the track loops (assuming it loops in-game; the video loops, so I imagine it does).
it's probably not like that ... the music starts again automatically if the start button is not pressed, I don't know how to move in this direction.
About the point:
Quote- Are you sure you're printing on the right size of paper when making the PDF? The MUS looks fine, but the margins and spacing on the PDF all look strange (specifically, the PDF has a very small right margin and a very big bottom margin).
I don't really know what the problem may be! I click on "print" and save as PDF, is there anything I can verify to answer your question?

however I fixed everything, thanks again!

mastersuperfan

Looking great! A few last things to clean up:
- On m13 RH beat 2, I would move the "3" of the triplet downward, closer to the beam.
- m13 LH beat 3 should be flipped back up.
- m14 still needs the same changes that you made in m13.
- On m14 LH beat 4, the triplet's horizontal beam is a little high and could be moved down a bit so it's not so close to the RH staff.
- I think m15/17/19 look a little strange because it's not visually clear that the cross-staffed note on beat 2 is part of the RH Layer 2, so it looks like there's a missing Layer 2 quarter rest on beat 2. I would recommend either (a) showing a quarter rest on the RH staff on beat 2 (this would require removing the cross-staffing), OR (b) connecting the notes with lines to indicate they're part of the same voice (see below).
Spoiler
[close]
- On m21 RH beat 1, the Layer 2 beams are stretched too far down for some reason.
- With repeat endings, Finale tends to put the ending numbers a little far to the right. In m4-5 and m13-14, could you manually move the ending numbers (e.g. "1." and "2.") a little bit to the left so that they're centered with the notes on beat 1?
- Should the forward repeat bar at the beginning of m23 be deleted?

Quote from: JacopoTore on July 27, 2020, 07:09:16 AMAbout the point:it's probably not like that ... the music starts again automatically if the start button is not pressed, I don't know how to move in this direction.
Yeah, that's what I meant. Since the original track loops automatically in-game, I would suggest putting a "D.C." at the very end so that the arrangement will also automatically jump back to the beginning like the original.

(Getting the repeat signs to work on the second playthrough is a bit more annoying. D.C. causes all repeats/first endings to be skipped by default on the second playthrough, so if you want to maintain correct playback with the original, you have to click on each first ending, enter "1, 3" as the ending numbers, and then input "1." in the Alternate Text in Ending box. Then, for each second ending, enter "2, 4" as the ending numbers, and then input "2." in the Alternate Text in Ending box.)

Quote from: JacopoTore on July 27, 2020, 07:09:16 AMAbout the point:I don't really know what the problem may be! I click on "print" and save as PDF, is there anything I can verify to answer your question?
If you use the Page Layout Tool and click Page Layout > Page Size in the toolbar, it should tell you what your page size is (e.g. Letter 8.5 x 11, or A4 8.3 x 11.7). Then, when you click Print, before you actually save it as a PDF, you should see "Paper Size" somewhere in the Print menu. Make sure that the paper size in the Print menu is the same as the page size from earlier, preferably either letter or A4. Let me know if that works.

I think that should be the last of the changes before the sheet's good to go.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

JacopoTore



I'm so sorry, but the only thing I can't do is this!

Quote from: mastersuperfan on July 27, 2020, 04:07:59 PMYeah, that's what I meant. Since the original track loops automatically in-game, I would suggest putting a "D.C." at the very end so that the arrangement will also automatically jump back to the beginning like the original.

I don't know why but it doesn't work!

mastersuperfan

Quote from: JacopoTore on July 28, 2020, 07:50:46 AMI'm so sorry, but the only thing I can't do is this!

I don't know why but it doesn't work!

Try double-clicking on the D.C. and, in the section labeled "Target," replace the 0 in the box next to "Measure #" with a 1. That should do it.

If you want to have the repeat signs/endings work on playback, there's also this fix to implement (for both sets of double endings, m4-5 and m13-14):
Quote from: mastersuperfan on July 27, 2020, 04:07:59 PM(Getting the repeat signs to work on the second playthrough is a bit more annoying. D.C. causes all repeats/first endings to be skipped by default on the second playthrough, so if you want to maintain correct playback with the original, you have to click on each first ending, enter "1, 3" as the ending numbers, and then input "1." in the Alternate Text in Ending box. Then, for each second ending, enter "2, 4" as the ending numbers, and then input "2." in the Alternate Text in Ending box.)

The one other very small thing I noticed is that, in m5, the forte could be moved up and the decrescendo moved down a little so that the two are horizontally aligned:
Spoiler
[close]

Once those last fixes are done, I shall accept.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.