[PC] Touhou 17: Wily Beast and Weakest Creature - "Electric Heritage" by Maelstrom

Started by Zeta, May 22, 2020, 07:35:00 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Touhou
Game: Touhou 17: Wily Beast and Weakest Creature
Console: PC
Title: Electric Heritage
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

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Maelstrom

More touhou. LH rhythm doesn't sound perfect for m31-32 but I don't know how to better write it.

Static

  • Watch out - the rhythms in m10 and 14 are different than in m12 and 16.
  • m12, 16 RH: Beat 1 should be beamed together.
  • m30, 46 RH: Beat 4 should be beamed together.
  • m31-32, 47-48 LH: I would make the 8th notes on beat 1 and 3 a C natural and B natural, respectively (both below the staff). What makes these chords sound distinctive in the original is that the 3rd of the chord is in the bass (as well as in a middle voice).
  • m47: To indicate the pedal markings a continuation of the implied ones from before, I would start the line just as a straight line without the bracket, or start at the ^ before it.

Maelstrom

Quote from: Static on May 22, 2020, 06:54:30 PM
  • m47: To indicate the pedal markings a continuation of the implied ones from before, I would start the line just as a straight line without the bracket, or start at the ^ before it.
But it's not a continuation? The part before it still has the lift at the 8th rest like m17 onward.

everything else fixed and updated.

Static

Quote from: Maelstrom on May 23, 2020, 07:59:22 AMBut it's not a continuation? The part before it still has the lift at the 8th rest like m17 onward.
Ah yeah, my mistake. Everything looks good, so I'll go ahead and approve.

Libera

Nice sheet.  The ending loop really reminds me of Eternal Night Vignette ~ Eastern Night from Imperishable Night...

-I'm hearing something different in the last half of bar 6 compared to bar 2, with the top voice going Bb C G rather than Bb A G.
-For the chords in 9-16, I'm hearing something a little different.  Generally speaking I don't hear the F chords you've written in.  I've put an image of the first two bars for example.
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-I'm can't hear the Eb grace note at the start of bar 17.
-If you've got two graces together, like in 24, I'd recommend using semiquavers rather than quavers for them.
-The highest notes in the left hand of bars 31-32 I'm hearing as Gs.
-Second note of bar 20 and 28 right hand should be a G, like you have it later on.

Also, the second time round in the 9-16 section has the string part playing a much more substantial role and perhaps you might consider writing those eight bars out fully to include that change.  Although, maybe you already tried that and it didn't work out so well, so feel free to tell me otherwise.

Maelstrom

Thanks.
Quote from: Libera on June 08, 2020, 12:08:10 PM-I'm hearing something different in the last half of bar 6 compared to bar 2, with the top voice going Bb C G rather than Bb A G.
I don't think i hear this at all. There is a c, but I'm pretty sure it's the harmony, not the melody. My main justification for this is the consistent downward motion of the phrase. Upward would sound different to me.
Quote from: Libera on June 08, 2020, 12:08:10 PM-For the chords in 9-16, I'm hearing something a little different.  Generally speaking I don't hear the F chords you've written in.  I've put an image of the first two bars for example.
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Hmmmmmm, may like someone else to weigh in on this. I personally do, and it appears as a reasonably distinct peak in the spectrum (not that I used that to arrange it or anything). I guess half of what I'm hearing is the dissonance between the FM chord and the Gs in the bass. I'll leave it how I have it now, but someone else can/should take a look at this.

Quote from: Libera on June 08, 2020, 12:08:10 PM-I'm can't hear the Eb grace note at the start of bar 17.
Don't blame you, it's buried in the noise in the previous measure. There's actually a few more piano notes here, but I left them out for simplicity, just having the grace note to make it more consistent with the rest of the piece.

Changed the grace notes, nice catch.

Quote from: Libera on June 08, 2020, 12:08:10 PM-The highest notes in the left hand of bars 31-32 I'm hearing as Gs.
That's actually what I had originally, but I really liked Static's suggestion:
Quote from: Static on May 22, 2020, 06:54:30 PM
  • m31-32, 47-48 LH: I would make the 8th notes on beat 1 and 3 a C natural and B natural, respectively (both below the staff). What makes these chords sound distinctive in the original is that the 3rd of the chord is in the bass (as well as in a middle voice).

Nice catch with m20 and 28.

Quote from: Libera on June 08, 2020, 12:08:10 PMAlso, the second time round in the 9-16 section has the string part playing a much more substantial role and perhaps you might consider writing those eight bars out fully to include that change.  Although, maybe you already tried that and it didn't work out so well, so feel free to tell me otherwise.
I did initially, before removing it. The main issue I had was that there were two ways to differentiate it.
A) What is written is the 2nd part, and a simpler version is the first part. I decided against this because the buildup from the previous section I have would stop in its tracks if I simplified it further, as the rising complexity of the intro before the simplicity of the piano part would take a giant dip in the middle.
B) Keep what is currently there as the 1st part, and write something else for the 2nd. I decided against this because I had issues coming up with something substantially complex enough without being either too difficult to play or too similar to what is currently here. Simply adding a 4th below harmony to the first layer felt really cheap and ineffective, so I just left it as a repeat. Does that answer your question?

Again, thanks for taking a look at it. Sorry I disputed so many of your feedback points.

updated the files while I was at it.

Libera

Sorry for taking a while to get back to you on this.

Quote from: Maelstrom on June 19, 2020, 08:51:41 AMI don't think i hear this at all. There is a c, but I'm pretty sure it's the harmony, not the melody. My main justification for this is the consistent downward motion of the phrase. Upward would sound different to me.

Yeah, listening again I think it's fine.

Quote from: Maelstrom on June 19, 2020, 08:51:41 AMThat's actually what I had originally, but I really liked Static's suggestion:

I understand changing the bass note on beat 1, but the changing the top note I don't understand at all.  It makes it sounds completely different to the original and is well... just wrong.  I don't get it at all.

Quote from: Maelstrom on June 19, 2020, 08:51:41 AMI did initially, before removing it. The main issue I had was that there were two ways to differentiate it.
A) What is written is the 2nd part, and a simpler version is the first part. I decided against this because the buildup from the previous section I have would stop in its tracks if I simplified it further, as the rising complexity of the intro before the simplicity of the piano part would take a giant dip in the middle.
B) Keep what is currently there as the 1st part, and write something else for the 2nd. I decided against this because I had issues coming up with something substantially complex enough without being either too difficult to play or too similar to what is currently here. Simply adding a 4th below harmony to the first layer felt really cheap and ineffective, so I just left it as a repeat. Does that answer your question?

Sounds like you've tried it out and it didn't work so well, so I'm happy to leave it as is.  I just wanted to make sure we'd explored the option, that's all.

Other stuff I haven't mentioned is fine, although maybe Static could weigh in on the harmony in 9-16 that we were unsure about.

Static

Quote from: Libera on June 27, 2020, 08:52:30 AMI understand changing the bass note on beat 1, but the changing the top note I don't understand at all.  It makes it sounds completely different to the original and is well... just wrong.  I don't get it at all.
Yeah, I only suggested the bottom note to be changed. It doesn't make sense for those measures to be written differently when the rest of the LH is a transcription of the same part, plus it doesn't overlap with the RH at all.

Quote from: Libera on June 27, 2020, 08:52:30 AMOther stuff I haven't mentioned is fine, although maybe Static could weigh in on the harmony in 9-16 that we were unsure about.
I hear what Maelstrom has in m9/11/13/15. On beat 4.5 in m10 and beat 4 of m12, 14, and 16, I hear the Gb and Bb that you have. If you're wondering about the F in particular, listen for the piano part in the original, not the melody synth voice.



Maelstrom


Libera


Zeta