Sky Garden - Mario Kart: Super Circuit- BPM is 149 instead of 150.
- m5 RH has staccatos on the tied eighth notes.
- The unbeaming of the RH Layer 2 eighth notes in m3/5/7 looks confusing to me because it's not clearly evident that the accented chords are following the rhythm of Layer 2 (especially in m3/7, where it might look like the RH has 4.5 beats without the LH part). I would personally prefer to see them beamed, at least in m3/7.
- The layering in m10 looks weird because the Layer 2 rests aren't shown, so it's not super clear that the notes belong to two different layers. At first glance, it looks like a single melodic line starting on Bn with a random quarter rest on top. IMO the measure would look better as a single layer without the rest, even if the Bn doesn't belong to the main melody.
- Would the m9/11/17 RH staccatos look better above the noteheads, and/or would the m14-15 RH staccatos look better below the noteheads?
- I would prefer to write the staccato'd quarter note in m16 as an eighth note and an eighth rest instead.
- Some measures require the use of pedal to be played as written (m11, m14, maybe m13 to an extent), but there are also staccatos everywhere. I'm not really sure how I would reconcile this if I were playing the sheet. Is there a way to edit these parts so that they don't require pedaling over several beats?
Battle! (Team Plasma) - Pokémon Black & White - I really like the lull you added in the sheet in m35-38! On another note, the melody in m51-54 is really reminding me of something else from Pokémon, but I can't remember exactly what...
- Very minor nitpick, but I think the dynamic in m11 could be moved down a little.
- IMO m11-26 should still be forte since I think a ff-mf drop is too big and sudden, although dynamics are subjective anyway. You also do have a nice dynamic contour on page 3, and it makes sense for m11 and m39 to have the same dynamic, so I don't really mind the mezzo forte in the end.
- In m13/14/17, the natural on the Bn in the LH at the end of the measure is really close to the previous stem (directly touching it, in the case of m17). The natural sign could be moved a bit more to the right, maybe along with the note itself if you added a little bit of extra space to the end of the measure.
- I think the sixteenth notes in m23-30 would look much cleaner as staccato'd eighth notes, especially since you have everything beamed in 6/8 already.
- In m59-62, I'm hearing the last note of the arpeggio going back up instead of continuing downward—so the last note in59-61 should be Ab instead of Db, and the last note in m62 should be F instead of Bb. (It also works nicely that the Ab at the end of the arpeggio ties immediately over to the first beat of the next measure—maybe it would be nice to write that tie out directly, instead of only tying dotted half notes in Layer 2?)
- I would suggest transposing m68-71 RH up an octave to preserve the upward contour of the line.
- There are some background notes you could include in the RH in m71-72.
Mystery Gift - Pokémon Diamond & Pearl- Beat 2.5 of m1 RH sounds like it should be tied over to beat 3.
- On beat 1.5 of m4 RH, I hear the Layer 2 note as a G instead of an E.
- On beat 3 of m7 RH, I hear the Layer 2 note as a D instead of an E.
New Bark Town - Pokémon HeartGold & SoulSilver - There is a lot more going on this track than I realized, especially between the left and right ears...
- "Laid-back" should be hyphenated.
- I'm not sure I hear the additional C# on beat 3 of m4 RH. However, I do hear a G below the E on beat 3 (which would probably be easier to play with the LH instead of the RH).
- The lower notes in m9 RH sound like they play in quarter notes: D-B-A-G. I think omitting the B is fine so as not to repeat the B in the melody, but I would include the G on beat 4.
- I'm getting something different for the bassline in m9-10:
- I don't hear any of the lower RH notes in m10 in any of the voices. Are they improvised notes?
- In m11 RH, the strings (starting on beat 2) go G(quarter)-B(dotted quarter)-D(eighth), instead of G(quarter)-B(quarter)-A(quarter), or is the A at the end also improvised? I would still use the dotted quarter-eighth rhythm in Layer 2 because nearly every voice in the original does that as well.
- LH beat 1 of m12 sounds like a low E instead of an A.
- I also hear an E on RH beat 3 of m13.
- In m17 RH Layer 2, you might consider transposing beats 2 and 3 up an octave to preserve the downward F#-D-C# pattern from the original.
- I'm assuming you transposed the bassline up one octave in m18-20 so that the LH could also play the chords, but I would suggest at least transposing the E on beat 1 of m18 back down an octave to preserve the downward motion of the D#-B-E pattern that starts at the end of m17.
- The chord at the beginning of m20 also has a G in it. The RH chord on beat 3 also has a G right below the high A, but I can understand leaving that one out since the dissonance on the piano is harsher there.
- You could also add grace notes leading to beat 3 of m20 RH (grace notes D-E-G).
- In m25, I hear a B in the chord, but no C, so I think it would be better to make the first Layer 2 note a B instead.
- It took me some time to figure out which line you were transcribing in m28. I think it would be better to transcribe this more prominent line into the LH instead (see below). The piano line you have right now could also be written into the RH (in its original octave), but I'm not sure if the two lines together would sound good on piano.
