Rubikium's Replacements

Started by Rubikium, June 02, 2020, 11:50:12 AM

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Rubikium

Finished replacements:

Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
- The Grand Finale (Old PDF)
- The Grand Finale (Two Pianos) (Old PDF) (Format fixes only)

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
- Elder Princess Shroob Battle (Old PDF)
- Princess Shroob Battle (Old PDF)

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
- Cackletta, the Fiercest Foe (Old PDF) (Format fixes only)
- Showdown with Cackletta! (Old PDF)

Super Mario Galaxy 2
- Green Star (Old PDF)

...and that's all the replacements I will submit for this project.

Static

Princess Shroob Battle
  • The A in Alla marcia should be captialized.
  • The page numbers are not aligned correctly. This can be fixed later if your version of Finale can't.
  • There's a bunch of extra space on the bottom of each page, while the top of each page seems a bit squished. I'd adjust the spacing of the systems. Again, if you can't do this, it can be fixed later before it's accepted.
  • Watch out - that quarter note line changes every 4th bar; it is a 4-bar repeated pattern, not 2-bar.
  • If you want, you can include some of the middle chord voices during whole notes - in m5-11 or m17-23. Changing the texture of the piece even just a little bit goes a long way in making a piano arrangement more satisfying to listen to and play.
  • You could include the brass lines in m13-16 up an octave in the RH; up to you though.
  • Starting at m34, I would remove the lower D whenever it shows up (and later the Cs). It makes it so you don't have to move your hand so much and it has basically the same sound as before when played live.

Elder Princess Shroob Battle
  • Wow this is a lot shorter than I remember.
  • There's some timpani pickups in m5-12 you could include in the LH if you want to.
  • I like the revoicing in m21-22, but it sounds really weird having the F-Bb movement in the top voice in m23. That would probably be better down an octave. Also, the tie in m21 should be flipped up.
  • m24-25: This would be better written as just a fermata on m24, and removing m25 altogether. In the original piece, the chord is held and then it goes right into the next part, there's no long break in the music.
  • m26-27 (not taking into account removing m25): The half rests in the LH should be split into 2 quarter rests.
  • Any reason you didn't include the timpani roll measure at the beginning? Even if you don't want to include the roll in the piano, I'd still include the measure, just make it a rest.
  • I can take care of the extra stuff you mentioned after all this is changed. I'd also recommend spacing out the staves a bit, so I can do that too if you'd like. (Also fixing some page number and title alignments)

Rubikium

Princess Shroob Battle

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • The A in Alla marcia should be captialized.
  • Watch out - that quarter note line changes every 4th bar; it is a 4-bar repeated pattern, not 2-bar.
Adjusted.

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • The page numbers are not aligned correctly. This can be fixed later if your version of Finale can't.
  • There's a bunch of extra space on the bottom of each page, while the top of each page seems a bit squished. I'd adjust the spacing of the systems. Again, if you can't do this, it can be fixed later before it's accepted.
I use Finale Notepad so I can't fix these by using the program. Please do help fixing these formatting issues.

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • If you want, you can include some of the middle chord voices during whole notes - in m5-11 or m17-23. Changing the texture of the piece even just a little bit goes a long way in making a piano arrangement more satisfying to listen to and play.
  • You could include the brass lines in m13-16 up an octave in the RH; up to you though.
  • Starting at m34, I would remove the lower D whenever it shows up (and later the Cs). It makes it so you don't have to move your hand so much and it has basically the same sound as before when played live.
Thanks for the arranging tips. Adapted.


Elder Princess Shroob Battle

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • I like the revoicing in m21-22, but it sounds really weird having the F-Bb movement in the top voice in m23. That would probably be better down an octave. Also, the tie in m21 should be flipped up.
  • m24-25: This would be better written as just a fermata on m24, and removing m25 altogether. In the original piece, the chord is held and then it goes right into the next part, there's no long break in the music.
  • m26-27 (not taking into account removing m25): The half rests in the LH should be split into 2 quarter rests.
Changed.

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • There's some timpani pickups in m5-12 you could include in the LH if you want to.
The playback sounds weird to me when adding all of these notes, so I have only added a few of them

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • Any reason you didn't include the timpani roll measure at the beginning? Even if you don't want to include the roll in the piano, I'd still include the measure, just make it a rest.
...I forgot to include it. Fixed.

Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM
  • I can take care of the extra stuff you mentioned after all this is changed. I'd also recommend spacing out the staves a bit, so I can do that too if you'd like. (Also fixing some page number and title alignments)
Thanks again for the help.

Latios212

Green Star
Thank you for doing this one :) been meaning to have this one replaced for ages...
  • List Mahito Yokota as the composer as well; Koji Kondo composed the original Good Egg Galaxy theme, but this version is by Yokota
  • Your left margin gets smaller on page 2 (If you have Notepad I can make aesthetic edits for you)
  • m. 7 should have courtesy natural on the A since it follows the A#. Same for m. 11
  • I don't think the staccatos in m. 6 and 10 are needed
  • It might help to have some indication that the LH can help out with the second layer in the RH, but eh I think it's obvious enough as is
  • Crescendo should end before (not on) the barline in m. 20
Before I move on to page 2, may I suggest taking another look at your layer work? I know this is quite tricky here juggling what looks like three voices in the right hand... but looking at the sheet is is pretty unclear where the melody is, as the true melody jumps between layers and often flips its stem direction. It's okay to have notes above the melody, but it should be clear where the main melody lies so the performer can emphasize it.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Static

Check out what I've done with the formatting for both of those Princess Shroob sheets here. If you like the changes, feel free to upload them to the folder.

The rest of the changes you made look great so I'll be approving both of them.

Rubikium

Green Star
All mentioned issues have been fixed and page 2 of the sheet is reworked.

Princess Shroob Battle
The sheet looks great to me.

Elder Princess Shroob Battle
The metronome mark in m. 26 should be visible (Notepad can't change this), otherwise looks great.

Latios212

Elder Princess Shroob Battle
Got the tempo marking. Remaining feedback:
- The first measure - the grace note at the beginning is a bit ambiguous I think. The slur looks like a tie implying that the note should be struck once not twice on beat 1. Actually, thoughts about making this a tremolo so that you can play a crescendo to emulate the drumroll?
- It would probably be good to have a dim. somewhere in m. 22-25.
- The pedal marking should be moved a bit down/left in m. 22
- The rests in the bottom staff in m. 26-29 should be hidden if it's meant to go to the upper staff instead. I'd suggest something like the following - either flipping or providing a cross-staff line to indicate the voice moving:
You cannot view this attachment.
- The last measure would be great with something in the bass written in to transition back to the fuller sounding beginning (similar to the pickup).

(will get back to Green Star later, thanks for updating it!)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Rubikium

Due to Notepad limitations, not a lot of changes can be made without affecting the existing formatting. Instead, I have created and uploaded a separate file with the changes (the "Altered" one). Please copy the changes over to the unaltered file.

Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The first measure - the grace note at the beginning is a bit ambiguous I think. The slur looks like a tie implying that the note should be struck once not twice on beat 1. Actually, thoughts about making this a tremolo so that you can play a crescendo to emulate the drumroll?
Seems like a better idea! The grace note indicates an extra note (played loud) at the start (whole pattern is two loud notes followed by tremolo with increasing dynamic starting from p to f).

Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The rests in the bottom staff in m. 26-29 should be hidden if it's meant to go to the upper staff instead. I'd suggest something like the following - either flipping or providing a cross-staff line to indicate the voice moving:
You cannot view this attachment.
I went with a cross-staff notation at beat 2 instead. Don't know if the notation is clear enough though.

Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The last measure would be great with something in the bass written in to transition back to the fuller sounding beginning (similar to the pickup).
Doubling the last two bass notes one octave lower should do the trick.

Latios212

Ah I was referring to an octave tremolo rather than one note - which is easier to play and nicer sounding. Like this

I'd also suggest this for the last measure as well.

Let me know what you think and I'll make the edits on the file!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Rubikium

Seems good! Go ahead and edit the file.

Maelstrom

really briefly, I'd recommend switching a few of the voices between pianos. This is mainly because those massive arpeggios would be a pain to sync up between two pianos and would certainly be easier if one person played them with  two hands. What do you think about this?

Latios212

Elder Princess Shroob Battle
Quote from: Rubikium on June 18, 2020, 08:48:22 PMSeems good! Go ahead and edit the file.
Cool! Edited the base file. If it all looks good to you I'll accept

Quote from: Maelstrom on June 19, 2020, 08:10:51 AMreally briefly, I'd recommend switching a few of the voices between pianos. This is mainly because those massive arpeggios would be a pain to sync up between two pianos and would certainly be easier if one person played them with  two hands. What do you think about this?
Is this for The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Rubikium

Quote from: Latios212 on June 19, 2020, 06:59:55 PMCool! Edited the base file. If it all looks good to you I'll accept
There are markings still need to be hidden in m.11. Otherwise the file look great to me.

Quote from: Latios212 on June 19, 2020, 06:59:55 PMIs this for The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)?
Yes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.

Latios212

Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMThere are markings still need to be hidden in m.11. Otherwise the file look great to me.
Cool, got it. Accepting!

Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMYes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.
The deadline has passed already... what's left to do?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Rubikium

Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMYes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 21, 2020, 04:03:44 PMThe deadline has passed already... what's left to do?

The edit mentioned was due to Maelstrom's suggestion, and was not the first edit I made to the sheet. Sorry for the confusion. The edited sheet is now uploaded.