Rubikium's Replacements

Started by Rubikium, June 02, 2020, 11:50:12 AM

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Maelstrom

hey it's me again giving suggestions for grand finale duet without actually checking it

I think it's probably in your best intrest to put the RH from piano 2 m1-3 into piano 1's LH and splitting the arpeggios up like m7+. This would make it much easier to play, although you'll need to work something out with the final note of m4.

mastersuperfan

Princess Shroob Battle - Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
Looking good! I made the following edits in the file linked below:
- Moved the notes with accidentals to the right in Layer 1 LH so that they wouldn't collide with Layer 2 notes
- Unbeamed the last two eighth notes in the RH in m14
- Shortened the width of the last system so it doesn't look stretched out

Here's the file with these fixes: https://www.dropbox.com/s/vpey6omfuy9dbho/Mario%20%26%20Luigi%20Partners%20in%20Time%20-%20Princess%20Shroob%20Battle%20%28edited%207-8-20%29.mus?dl=0

Give the file a double-check to make sure nothing looks off... v26 has issues with importing/exporting sometimes. I think everything should be okay since there are no articulations, but I would still check.

Some last remaining suggestions:
- You might consider removing the low F# in Layer 2 LH on m4 beat 4 since the RH can't easily be used to get the G on top.
- From the LH in m33 onward, I would recommend adding a fifth to all the octaves in the LH (i.e. a D to the G octaves, a C to the F octaves) since I think the octaves sound pretty bare on their own. Or, if having three notes at a time in the LH sounds too heavy, you could also do something like this:

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

#17
Coming back to Green Star...
Quote from: Rubikium on June 17, 2020, 09:30:08 AMAll mentioned issues have been fixed and page 2 of the sheet is reworked.
Thanks, the right hand part is much clearer now! Onto my remaining feedback on page 2, which looks great:
- LH in m. 24/32 beat 3 should be Cn as well. Also the slur in these measures are a bit close to the first natural sign
- mf in m. 37 is a bit high and the one in m. 39 is a bit far to the right
- The RH continues playing the chords in eighth notes all the way to the end (m. 40 beat 3).
- Staff spacing could use a bit of adjusting in places (i.e. more space between LH/RH in the last couple measures, moving the 3rd/4th systems on page 4 further apart a bit) - I can help you with that later
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Rubikium

Princess Shroob Battle
The file looks good. I have adapted the mentioned suggestions in the updated file.

Green Star
Except for staff spacing, everything has been fixed. Please do help me with the adjustments.

The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
Thanks for the suggestion, but I would like to update the file after more suggestions are given.

Latios212

Quote from: Rubikium on July 12, 2020, 11:58:44 PMGreen Star
Except for staff spacing, everything has been fixed. Please do help me with the adjustments.
Got it! Spacing adjusted - sheet is approved ;D
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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mastersuperfan

Princess Shroob Battle - accepted
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

mastersuperfan

#21
Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2
- Tempo should be 118 BPM instead of 120, unless you strongly prefer to use only tempos corresponding to traditional metronome markings.
- I think mp and mf would be more appropriate dynamic markings than mf and f.
- For m5 and m9, you might consider removing the F# in the RH on beat 3 so that it doesn't sound so dissonant.
- For m6 and m10, I would remove the A# in Layer 2 on beat 1 just for simplicity's sake.
- For m7 and m11, I'm hearing RH Layer 2 beat 3 as F#-A instead of E-F#.
- I would either remove or parenthesize the B in m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1, since the LH also plays that B.
- m19 RH beat 3 has a Dn that you could add to Layer 2.
- m23 seems like an A major chord, so the top note of the dyad on m23 LH beat 2 would be better off as an A rather than as a G#. (Also, it looks like a lot of the dyads are inverted downwards/have different notes than the ones in the original but are still part of the same chord; I'm assuming these changes were made for playability?)
- In m29-30, were the violin 8th notes on beat 3 omitted from Layer 2 intentionally?
- On m35 LH beat 2, I hear E in the dyad instead of F#.
- On m35 RH beat 3, the violin plays an A that you could add under the D# in Layer 2. If you add this, I would also add a G# to m36 LH Layer 1.
- It seems a bit unnecessary to have two dynamic markings in the last system, one in each hand, just for the sake of one note (the LH in m37). I think it would be cleanest to simply put one dynamic marking for both hands in m37.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

Quote from: Maelstrom on July 08, 2020, 05:24:43 AMhey it's me again giving suggestions for grand finale duet without actually checking it

I think it's probably in your best intrest to put the RH from piano 2 m1-3 into piano 1's LH and splitting the arpeggios up like m7+. This would make it much easier to play, although you'll need to work something out with the final note of m4.
Quote from: Rubikium on July 12, 2020, 11:58:44 PMThe Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
Thanks for the suggestion, but I would like to update the file after more suggestions are given.
Thanks for getting rid of the octave clefs in this one. More suggestions incoming!
- I rather like the "filler" eighth notes in the RH of I in m. 7+. Is there a reason why you took those out?
- A lot of notes are flipped when they shouldn't be - for example m. 10/22 I beat 3 RH, m. 26 II beat 3 RH, most of the chords in m. 27-34, the beat 1 dotted quarter notes in m. 35+, etc.
- II RH in m. 15-18 (and the similar part later) would be better written in two layers as the upper and lower voices do independent things
- The overlap is quite awkward in m. 10/22 I, you may want to consider rewriting that differently
- m. 27, 31-34, etc. II RH chords - this is on two pianos so you can feel free to leave the chords as they are even if a note overlaps one in the melody
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Static

Cackletta, the Fiercest Foe
- I'm pretty sure the title should just be "Cackletta Theme". I don't know if the 3DS version changed track names, but if you're arranging something for the GBA version you should use those track names.
- I know there's not exactly a lot of room to work with here, but the 4th system (m13-15) is pretty cramped. Maybe adjust the spacing a bit for everything else and move those staves farther apart, or flip the slurs and articulations so they're inside the staff.
- I think the chord in m19 would sound better with G# as the lowest note, so maybe move the B# to the RH (keep it in the same octave).
- If you do the above thing, then add "Edited by Rubikium" to the top.

Showdown with Cackletta!
- Title should be "Final Cackletta", shouldn't it? Similar to above.
- Tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.
- You can hide the half rests in m6-9 if you'd like, and flip beats 3-4 up.
- The accidentals in this one are weird, but I think you picked the most sensible and easy-to-read ones.
- I hear that repeated line at m10 RH sounding more like this (applies for m10-17):
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- I hear the bassline start as 2 consecutive 16ths (same note) instead of a single 8th note.
- The last two systems would look a little better if you had 2 measures, then 3, instead of 3 and 2.
- You can space everything on page 2 more apart to account for the extra space on the bottom.

Rubikium

#24
Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- Tempo should be 118 BPM instead of 120, unless you strongly prefer to use only tempos corresponding to traditional metronome markings.
Please help me change the tempo to 118 BPM.

Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- m23 seems like an A major chord, so the top note of the dyad on m23 LH beat 2 would be better off as an A rather than as a G#. (Also, it looks like a lot of the dyads are inverted downwards/have different notes than the ones in the original but are still part of the same chord; I'm assuming these changes were made for playability?)
I'm pretty sure that dyad is C#-E, rather than E-G#. Some dyads are indeed changed for playability, but I might also have misheard a few of them

Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- In m29-30, were the violin 8th notes on beat 3 omitted from Layer 2 intentionally?
Nope, I didn't heard them before. Notes added

Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- On m35 RH beat 3, the violin plays an A that you could add under the D# in Layer 2. If you add this, I would also add a G# to m36 LH Layer 1.
I didn't add it because the jumps would be awkward to execute

Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- I think mp and mf would be more appropriate dynamic markings than mf and f.
- For m5 and m9, you might consider removing the F# in the RH on beat 3 so that it doesn't sound so dissonant.
- For m6 and m10, I would remove the A# in Layer 2 on beat 1 just for simplicity's sake.
- For m7 and m11, I'm hearing RH Layer 2 beat 3 as F#-A instead of E-F#.
- I would either remove or parenthesize the B in m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1, since the LH also plays that B.
- m19 RH beat 3 has a Dn that you could add to Layer 2.
- On m35 LH beat 2, I hear E in the dyad instead of F#.
- It seems a bit unnecessary to have two dynamic markings in the last system, one in each hand, just for the sake of one note (the LH in m37). I think it would be cleanest to simply put one dynamic marking for both hands in m37.
Changed


The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
Quote from: Latios212 on August 19, 2020, 03:54:15 PM- I rather like the "filler" eighth notes in the RH of I in m. 7+. Is there a reason why you took those out?
It is mainly because of the overlapping parts between the hands. I added back most of the notes, except for those overlapping notes

Quote from: Latios212 on August 19, 2020, 03:54:15 PM- A lot of notes are flipped when they shouldn't be - for example m. 10/22 I beat 3 RH, m. 26 II beat 3 RH, most of the chords in m. 27-34, the beat 1 dotted quarter notes in m. 35+, etc.
- II RH in m. 15-18 (and the similar part later) would be better written in two layers as the upper and lower voices do independent things
- The overlap is quite awkward in m. 10/22 I, you may want to consider rewriting that differently
- m. 27, 31-34, etc. II RH chords - this is on two pianos so you can feel free to leave the chords as they are even if a note overlaps one in the melody
Fixed


Cackletta, the Fiercest Foe
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- I'm pretty sure the title should just be "Cackletta Theme". I don't know if the 3DS version changed track names, but if you're arranging something for the GBA version you should use those track names.
I had indeed used the track name from 3DS version, as I found multiple names for the GBA version of the track and didn't know which one is official. I have now changed the name to "Cackletta Theme"

Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- I know there's not exactly a lot of room to work with here, but the 4th system (m13-15) is pretty cramped. Maybe adjust the spacing a bit for everything else and move those staves farther apart, or flip the slurs and articulations so they're inside the staff.
- I think the chord in m19 would sound better with G# as the lowest note, so maybe move the B# to the RH (keep it in the same octave).
- If you do the above thing, then add "Edited by Rubikium" to the top.
Adjusted


Showdown with Cackletta!
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- Title should be "Final Cackletta", shouldn't it? Similar to above.
Similar to above. Changed the name as mentioned

Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- Tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.
- You can hide the half rests in m6-9 if you'd like, and flip beats 3-4 up.
- I hear that repeated line at m10 RH sounding more like this (applies for m10-17):
Spoiler
[close]
- I hear the bassline start as 2 consecutive 16ths (same note) instead of a single 8th note.
- The last two systems would look a little better if you had 2 measures, then 3, instead of 3 and 2.
- You can space everything on page 2 more apart to account for the extra space on the bottom.
Changed

Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- The accidentals in this one are weird, but I think you picked the most sensible and easy-to-read ones.
I have changed some of the enharmonic spellings in mm. 1-4 to match mm. 18-19. They might not be easy to read though. I have also add some courtesy accidentals in mm. 10-17.

Static

#25
Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMCackletta, the Fiercest Foe
I had indeed used the track name from 3DS version, as I found multiple names for the GBA version of the track and didn't know which one is official. I have now changed the name to "Cackletta Theme"
Adjusted
Looks great, nice S slur by the way. Those are so useful in places like this. Approved.

Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMShowdown with Cackletta!
Similar to above. Changed the name as mentioned
Changed
I have changed some of the enharmonic spellings in mm. 1-4 to match mm. 18-19. They might not be easy to read though. I have also add some courtesy accidentals in mm. 10-17.
Cool, I'll be approving this one too.

Edit: The commonly used GBA titles are just that; commonly used. They're based roughly off of the Mario & Luigi Sound Selection Album "English" titles (here), which are direct translations of the Japanese titles. The "English (American)" titles would appear to be closer to the 3DS titles though I haven't played it. So while both are fine, I think it might be easier for users if, whenever people submit sheets of the 3DS remake, to use the newer titles so it helps keep everything distinct between the two games - just my two cents there.

mastersuperfan

Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2

Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMI'm pretty sure that dyad is C#-E, rather than E-G#. Some dyads are indeed changed for playability, but I might also have misheard a few of them

Just to be sure, here are the places where I'm hearing a different dyad:
- m25/33, I think I hear G#-B instead of B-E, but B-E is perfectly fine though, especially if you don't want to repeat the G# on beats 2 and 2.5.
- m26/34, I thought I heard Cn-E, but then I listened again and I definitely hear the Gn. So anything goes here, but Cn-E is an option if you don't want to repeat the Gn on beats 2 and 2.5.
- m27 sounds like A-B, but that might not work too well here. So, you could either keep what you have (E-A), or maybe consider changing the top note from A to B.
- m28, I hear A-C# on beat 1-1.5 and C#-F# on beat 2-2.5 (F# on top). I think anything works here, but I might prefer using A-C# or C#-F# instead of what you have so the F# doesn't repeat itself on beats 2 and 2.5.
- I think m35 is E-A instead of F#-A. Whichever one it is, you could also raise the lower note up an octave so that A isn't repeated as the top note on beats 2 and 2.5, if you wanted.

In short, I think pretty much anything is fine here as long as it fits the chord, and I'm happy to accept it as it is now (although double-check that F# in m35), but I just wanted to see if you had any preferences on these dyads given these options.

Could you also move the dynamic in m1 a little more to the right to be centered directly in line with beat 1 notes? There's enough space between the hands for it to fit.

One last, very minor thing: Regarding m29 Layer 2, do you have a preference between writing beat 3 as an eighth rest vs. a tied eighth note? I think either is fine, but you might consider using a tied eighth note instead since it'll be held by the pedal.

After this, I'll edit the tempo marking and accept.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Rubikium

I have adjusted the sheet based on the suggestions. Thanks for checking the sheet!

mastersuperfan

Quote from: Rubikium on September 03, 2020, 04:39:00 AMI have adjusted the sheet based on the suggestions. Thanks for checking the sheet!

Took care of the following last few things:
- Tempo marking text brought to normal size
- Dotted quarter rest in m3 split into quarter and eighth rest, since a dotted quarter rest isn't proper in 3/4

And so this shall be accepted.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

Cackletta Theme
Fantastic, nothing from me aside from some minor tweaks to the format to normalize the margins and space things out a bit more evenly. Accepted!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle