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Author Topic: Libera's Replacements  (Read 1333 times)

Libera

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Re: Libera's Replacements
« Reply #30 on: December 21, 2020, 06:01:00 PM »

m4, 8, etc. RH: You can make that tied note just a dotted quarter. You have the LH beamed in groups of four 8th notes anyway.
m49 RH: All of these chords sound like they should have 3 notes instead of 2.

Should be fixed now.

m29-36 RH: I'm going to bug you about the beaming again... You sometimes have the notes beamed in groups of 4, sometimes in 2, and it's not consistent even within a single measure sometimes (like m30).

I actually think this is pretty consistent.  Everything is beamed in fours except things like beats 3-4 of bar 29 and beats 3-4 of bar 30 where beaming these together would either make it visually look a bit triplet-esque or just looks ugly (imo).  This was following the general principles I try to use when beaming in general so I hope it's not that much of a problem.

m29-36: You have staccato 8th notes on downbeats in the RH that line up with staccato quarter notes in the LH, but in the original track all the staccato notes sound about the same length to me. I think you could clean up this entire section by doing this:
Spoiler

Everything lines up between the hands so the rhythms are very clear and easy to read.
[close]
Yeah that's probably a neater way to write it out.  I think though I wanted to emphasise the lightness of the RH here and keeping all of the dyads the same sort of weight.  I think writing it out like above puts more weight on certain ones which I guess was what I was trying to avoid.

I like the slur in m47-48 but honestly I think just having it go above the notes would look better. That way you don't have to try and squeeze it between the clef and surrounding notes.

Maybe I should say something about my rationale with regards to this weird slur, although feel free to still disagree with it after reading it.  I wanted to connect this big sweeping phrase up visually, but found that the normal slur positioning (just above the notes) doesn't really work all that well for that purpose.  Because the phrase is a whole system, the slur ends up just sitting above all of the notes and is kind of out of the way for most of the phrase so I don't think it really serves that much of a visual purpose.  The clef change part way through the bar makes this worse because the notes suddenly drop down the whole staff half way through, so the slur doesn't follow the contour of the notes at all past half way.  My weird slur was an attempt to rectify this, so that the slur stays relevant throughout the whole system and also follows the contour of the whole phrase better (starts low, ends high).



Thanks for checking and I've updated the file.

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Re: Libera's Replacements
« Reply #31 on: December 21, 2020, 06:24:39 PM »

Hm, yeah I think what you said makes sense for all those things. I still think the slur looks weird, but the other changes look great and I'll be accepting it.
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